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-Bevelle Temple, The Wedding-
"I can fly."
I watch your faces as you all stare at me. My guardians, my friends; a look of disbelief marring all your gentle features, and then finally, I see you. Confused. Exhausted. Desperate. Your blue eyes are locked on mine, staring back as your lips part, your hand reaches out to grab me, but it is too late. I am falling.
I've closed my eyes, tilted back my head, let my body lean as I finally surrender and I am flying, leaping backwards into the chilly Bevelle wind as it swooshes loudly past my ears. I can feel its force blow violently all around me, consuming me, drowning out the frantic sound of your voice when you cry out my name.
But I cannot respond.
I can't move. I can only fall. Fall faster and faster; sink farther and farther away. A feeble victim to gravity's violent pull.
I did not admit this to you back then, but before you had all arrived, I felt fear. So much fear, and that embarrassed me. I wish I could say I was as brave as you all thought me out to be, but humans are not always that tough, and even I can admit to being very fragile.
But then I find my strength. I awaken, open my eyes, and I remember: You came back. You all came back.
Did you know? Before I put on this wedding dress, I whistled. Before I tread down the aisle to become Seymour's wife and before I held the bouquet, readied my hair, walked in forlorn silence as all of Bevelle's eyes feasted upon me – before I got us all into this turbulent, unforgiving mess... I whistled. Just like you told me to. And here you are. You promised, and you were right. All I had to do was hope. All I had to do was remember.
And now I am ready.
I outstretch my hands, reach out to the miniature forms that shrink smaller and smaller as the distance between us grows, and I summon. Right there, in the air, Valefor materializes into life then dives down, dips his massive form into the wind and soars. He glides with ease, thrives with effortless splendor, then catches me. It's as if my weight has suddenly returned to me, and I shift then settle when I land abruptly atop the callused surface of his body. I am safe. Gravity no longer holds me; I've fallen into the hands of another companion, of another friend.
But I have not forgotten.
I look up, and I can no longer see you. Can you see me? I can only hope so. I can only hope.
And that is all that I've done lately, you know. Hope. I hoped then that you would trust me. That you would see my falling form and remember the promise you made to me, which you kept, and the one I have made to you, which I still, to this day, intend to keep. Valefor's wings cover me, protect me, and I can no longer see where you stand. I understand, in this very moment, that I am on my own once again.
But that's alright.
I am alone, but I am okay. I'm not scared, you see. I'm no longer afraid. I trust you. I know you. And I hope, with all that is within me, that you find the strength within you to fight, to lead the others, to not let your emotions cloud your judgment, just this once.
That is my silent prayer. I pray that you will all turn out safe, that this will soon come to an end, and that I will find my place among all of you soon. I pray I return home. I pray I return to you.
Oh, but you don't know, do you? What happens... When this all ends.
"Just trust me," I find myself saying aloud. I arrive onto the entrance of the Chamber of the Fayth, clutching my staff tightly within my grasp, a poor attempt at controlling the slight tremor that grows within my hands and threatens to seize what's left of me.
This is the last aeon before we reach Zanarkand. The final step before we reach your home. Your city. Oh, how I would love to see it - To catch the look on your face when we find it.
But now is not the time for such thoughts. I must go on. I must finish this. My mind is submerged entirely into my duties, my heart fluttering humbly to the thought of you; but I simply ignore. I simply endure. I didn't know back then what your emotions held for me - Looking back now, I even find it a bit funny.
You should know: I never once stopped thinking about you. Even then, I knew. Even then, I was sure.
So I take a deep breath, then manage my first few steps as I am brought closer to the end of my journey. The conclusion of my pilgrimage. My one duty as a summoner.
Just please, I think slightly to myself, mostly just for you.
Trust me.
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-Inside Bevelle Temple, Chamber of the Fayth-
The world around me has become a blur. My vision is hazy and disoriented, but I can hardly understand why. I arrive, make my way into the Chamber of the Fayth and almost immediately, I am falling to my knees.
I'm so weak. My body is a burden I seemingly can no longer carry, and I am tired. The staff in my hands clanks loudly against the ground, and I feel the impact of where my skin met the floor throb numbly at my knees. I want to move. I have to move, but something inside of me falters. I can feel it in my core, inside my bones. An endless void. A depressing desertion.
What is this? It must be the aeon, I finally conclude after a moment, bringing myself to stand wobbly upon my throbbing feet. It must be this place, the circumstance - everything.
In all of my confusion, I walk carefully, slowly, trying hard to compose the thoughts inside my head and bring my mind into steady focus. When I reach the monument in which the aeon sleeps, in which the fayth resides, I bring myself down onto my knees, close my eyes, and commence my bureaucratic practice.
I pray.
My body threatens to give out, and I can feel my strength begin to ebb away. Why is this happening? How can this be? I focus harder, try harder, pray harder, and summon all my will and strength into this one simple act.
I must defeat Sin. I must obtain the final aeon.
Beads of sweat are forming on the surface of my skin, running down the side of my face as I clasp my hands tighter together, will myself completely still. My body is embedded in a foreign heat, overcome by a sudden power, and I find relief: It is happening. It's about to occur.
But then I feel the fayth come to life inside of me and I gasp. A splinter stabs at my heart, my own chest coiling tightly and compressing with sudden shock.
It's a child.
The fayth is just a little boy!
The realization almost brings tears to my eyes. He stands before me; his ghostly form hovering over the sleeping body of Bahamut as he begins to sing the Hymn of the Fayth. His voice is small and high-pitched - playful and young; stringing every word together with the youthful purity that only a child can muster, and he sings for what feels like hours.
In his song, he absorbs my spirit, and I accept his. With more will, with more strength, I screw my eyes shut and pray and pray and pray with all of my heart, until the goosebumps have washed over my body and my soul is standing completely still.
I can feel his grief... His heartache.
I witness the way that he died, the way he lost his family and all of his friends. His ruined hopes and shortened life. How Sin destroyed his home, took with him a child's dreams, a child's innocence, and I understand. Suddenly, the small fayth rises, and with a brilliant flash he swoops right through me and steals the breath away from me.
That is when I faint. My exhausted form falls helplessly towards the ground and I can almost feel the harsh impact of the stone against my cheek when suddenly, something grabs me.
And it's you.
You've caught me in your arms, you hold me gently, look down at me with worry carved onto the features of your face. If only I could speak, but my voice is lost within my throat. If only I could move, I would reach out my hand and touch you; press my finger lightly over the cleft of you chin, tell you that I truly am alright. That I've done it. I want to muster all that I've wanted to say; what I've been meaning to tell you.
But it's useless.
I do not posses the courage or the strength.
Consciousness is slipping away, and I am falling once again, only now into a deep, uncertain slumber. Only now into the safety of your arms. Since I can't speak, I wonder. The final thought flickering inside my mind.
Thank you, I think, and if only you could hear me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I hear you whisper my name. Your voice is soft and gentle, and I wallow on its echoing sound; the way it lingers on my skin as I try to cling on to it, but it eventually only lulls me more into my sleeping state, and I can no longer wonder. The world has turned black, my mind has deserted me.
Still, you should know: to this day, your voice remains my favorite sound.
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Author's Note: The previous memoir takes place in Bevelle after Yuna marries Maester Seymour Guado (yuck!) and she acquires Bahamut as an aeon. This is fairly close to the ending of the game but, to be fair, I've always just divided this game into two sections: a) What happens before the kiss and b) What happens after it. Since this is the most important scene right after he truly comes to blows about her fate and realizes his growing feelings for her, I decided to begin the memoirs here. This is a story about them, after all.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading. Leave a review if you would be so kind. Your feedback is super helpful!