Chapter 1

Sailed Ships

March 1993

Everything was perfect. Olivia's parents were away for the weekend. She was having a good hair day-her curls were full and bouncy-even though the roller set her beautician had given her was five days old. She wore the multi-colored crinkle skirt and off the shoulder crocheted top she had been eyeing in the display window of Cohen's Department Store for a whole week. Today was a special day. She was going to be Fitz's girlfriend-officially.

She pictured the impending scene that would unfold as soon as he arrived. She would say, "Fitz, after three years of friendship, there's no one in this world I could imagine being with other than you." Fitz would be overcome with emotion. His blue-grey eyes would gaze passionately into her brown ones for a full 30 seconds. Their lips would lock in an all consuming kiss-a redemption of their first kiss three years ago when she had turned away from his descending lips, causing them to land soundly on her ear.

Olivia cringed at the memory. She had been a high school freshman ready to make her mark at Monticello High School. As far as rankings went in the high stakes social hierarchy of high school, Olivia cast herself a smidgeon above average. She wasn't an athlete, cheerleader, or beauty queen. Her family wasn't wealthy or well-connected. Olivia had other advantages. She was smart and outgoing with a lot of moxie. She was a high achieving student and a member of the band and orchestra. By mid-year she had joined the SGA, yearbook staff, and drama club. She was on her way to being inducted into Amicae and the National Honor Society. All this happened with her best friend, Anna Byrd, by her side. They were conquering high school in almost every aspect that first year. They fell short in one important area: boys. It wasn't until the end of freshman year when things began to take a positive turn-well mostly for Anna. The perfect 10, Harrison Wright-basketball and baseball star player, co-president of the SGA, and debate team champion-dumped his white girlfriend and asked Anna out on a date. Olivia was happy for Anna, but it was bittersweet. Anna's dating boom was Olivia's friendship bust. Harrison was always around. Anna began spending all her free time with him or talking about him nonstop when they were apart. Olivia was annoyed and a little jealous. When she was feeling particularly resentful at Harrison's infringement on her friendship with Anna, she made snarky comments about it. "He was scared back to black," she said one time. After Anna went an entire day without speaking to her, Olivia apologized and kept her comments to herself.

Monticello High School was a majority white institution with a 70 percent Caucasian and 25 percent African-American student body. The other 5 percent was a mix of Hispanic and Asian students. Beginning in the early 90s, it became an unspoken rule and rite of passage for the black male star athletes to date white girls. Interracial dating at MHS reached its zenith during Olivia's and Anna's freshman year. The difference that year was that it was no longer relegated to the athletic community. Black boys and white girls across all ranks began to date each other. This stoked an undercurrent of protest that spawned two demonstrations by the Klu Klux Klan on the historic square in the quaint southern town of Monticello, hence Olivia's comment about Harrison's sudden interest in Anna. After all, Harrison was black and a star athlete. The controversy was over as soon as it began since the news media uncovered that all the protesters were from outside of the community. The story was no longer sensational without the voices of the white townspeople who refused to spew their hate on camera.

The reverse interracial pairing-white male to black female dating-was non-existent. So it came as a complete surprise to Olivia when her friend, Fitz, who happened to be white, tried to kiss her after an outing at the movies one night. Olivia had met Fitz in the marching band. He was the drum major. They struck up a friendship after an intense discussion about what band section was the most crucial, brass, woodwind, or percussion. Olivia argued most vehemently for the brass. She played trumpet. Fitz argued for woodwind since he played the baritone saxophone. She didn't know he was the drum major until after their conversation that first day at band camp. He would have been the perfect boyfriend material according to Olivia's standards. He was a senior, relatively popular, an athlete, and smart to boot. However, he was also white and borderline geeky with his wire-rimmed glasses and buttoned down shirts. His sport of choice was cross country. Olivia hated the skimpy shorts that left little to the imagination.

Once Anna began dating Harrison, Olivia and Fitz spent more time together. She depended on him for rides to and from school, to band events, and anywhere she wanted to go. Fitz never denied her transportation requests even it if was an inconvenience. Agreeing to go to the movies with him was a low risk proposition. He was her friend whom she could hang with now that Anna was otherwise occupied.

After their awkward kiss, Fitz had confessed that he really liked her and wanted "to go out." Overcome by the shock of it all, Olivia had mumbled a hasty, 'I gotta go' and quickly exited the vehicle. She ignored Fitz's calls and attempts to apologize that night. After telling Anna what happened, Olivia rolled her eyes at her friend's sappy encouragement. "Go for it," she'd said, "Fitz is sorta cute in a bookish way. So what if he's white.'

Olivia wasn't that shallow, but it didn't hurt that Fitz wasn't bad looking. That he was extremely smart wasn't a problem either. Olivia wanted a smart guy. Being with Fitz in that way made her inexplicably uncomfortable. It reminded her of the voices of a small cadre of black girls led by Shante Clark who had taunted her in sixth grade for trying to 'act white'. At the time, Olivia couldn't understand why that group of girls decided to pick on her. She couldn't be white if she wanted to with her brown skin and the mane of coarse black hair she had worn in one style: bang with one long braid down her back. She didn't even have a relaxer. Was it because she was the new kid on the block, having recently moved from Columbus to Monticello? Was it because her first friend after moving to Monticello was popular and white, Amanda Tanner, who happened to live next door to Olivia? Their taunts coupled with her grandmother's observation during the unceremonious visit by the Klu Klux Klan during the interracial dating controversy replayed in her head. The black girls would say: 'Why you always tryin' to talk white and act white?' Her grandmother would say: 'You don't see them white boys dating them black girls 'cause they ain't gonna take no black girl home to meet they momma and daddy." Why did Fitz want to date her anyway?

After a month of casting aspersions on Fitz's affections, she missed out on an invitation to the prom. Anna went with Harrison of course. Olivia had a change of heart while sitting at home alone. The next week, she called Fitz and without a mention of the kiss or the resulting fallout, they fell back into their old friendship, easily. At the end of the summer, Fitz left for college. They kept in touch over the next three years and saw each other when Fitz came home for holidays. In Olivia's mind, it was a forgone conclusion that they would officially become an item when she graduated from high school. Now that she was in her senior year of high school she felt it was time for them to be more than friends. In the 3 years that passed, she had grown to love Fitz, losing any and all reservations about dating him.

Olivia sat at her vanity pondering whether she should restyle her hair when the sound of a car door shutting quickened her heart, rendering her extremely nervous. She rushed to the window and frowned when she saw Anna walking up the driveway.

"What is she doing here?" Olivia said in part confusion and relief. She was beginning to realize how nervous she was about confronting Fitz. She needed Anna to calm her fears.

"Anna, why are you here? I thought you were going to the lake with Harry and his family?" Olivia said, forced to move out of Anna's way as she breezed past her and inside the front door.

Anna grabbed her shoulders and said, "Liv, you know I couldn't leave you on this important day of your life. Finally, you and Fitz are going to stop with this just friends foolishness and get together. It's been like four years. I had to come...for support."

Olivia shook her head and gave Anna the, 'I know the real reason you are here,' look. "They are going fishing and camping at Jackson Lake, right?"

Anna shrugged her shoulders. "I can't stand the mosquitos and the bait, Liv. Sometimes I think Harry should have asked you out freshman year. You two have more in common, being all outdoorsy and in tune with nature, but anyway the important thing is that I am here and can help you with your hair." Anna rushed up the wide steps in Olivia's ranch style home. She stopped and turned, realizing Olivia still stood at the door.

"Come on, Liv. Isn't Fitz going to be here soon?"

"Even though your fear of the outdoors brought you here, I'm so happy to see you because I am getting nervous, Anna," Olivia said, trudging up the stairs.

"Nervous for what?" Anna said, sliding her arm around Olivia's shoulders when she joined her at the top of the stairs. "I'm sure Fitz has been looking forward to this day since he tried to kiss you freshman year. I think it's so cute and old fashioned. It's like he's waiting for you. He visits you on his breaks. You know his family. He knows yours. You've gotten over the whole interracial thing. You all have been friends for three years. I read in Seventeen and Black Hair that friendship is a great foundation for a relationship. I wish Harry and I would have started out like that."

Olivia plopped down in the chair in front of the vanity in her bedroom. She peered at Anna's reflection in the mirror and her extension braids drawn up into a high ponytail. Anna immediately began working on Olivia's hair.

"Anna, what are you talking about? You and Harry are so perfect together. I was thinking about putting my hair up too. Use this barrette," Olivia said, pointing to the black one in the plastic box full of hair accessories. Anna nodded in agreement and began brushing Olivia's hair up on the sides. She sighed. "I think he's messing around with someone else."

Olivia watched her reflection in the mirror as Anna snapped the barrette, enclosing her hair inside. It was now piled high on her head. Anna began to twist and turn the curls of her bang.

"Harry wouldn't do that. You all have been together for so long-since freshman year. Maybe he's just stressed with college. Isn't junior year the hardest? That's why you should be fishing and camping with him now instead of doing my hair."

Anna began fluffing the back part of Olivia's hair that was loose and resting on her shoulders. "Liv, I'm glad I'm here, girl. Plug in your curling iron. There's a little part back here that's starting to nap up. Are you sweating? I can't believe it's so hot in March."

At that moment the sound of a car door shutting caused both of their heads to turn towards Olivia's slightly opened window. Olivia felt a burning sensation in her chest.

"That has to be him, Anna!" Olivia took one quick look in the mirror, grabbed her lip gloss and traced her lips with the cottony tip of the gloss wand. "Thanks for doing my hair. You stay up here while I answer the door."

Anna walked to the window as Olivia stumbled through the bedroom door. She nearly tripped on the strap of Anna's purse which she had dropped there when she entered the Olivia's room.

"Slow down, Liv," Anna said. She chuckled at Olivia's enthusiasm and walked to the window. Anna pulled back the curtain just as the sound of a second car door shut. Anna's eyebrows furrowed when she saw Fitz walking around his car hand in hand with some unknown but pretty white girl. "Who is that, Liv?" Anna said even though Olivia was halfway downstairs.

As soon as Olivia reached the front door, she unlocked it and turned the knob, too eager to wait for Fitz's ring. She swung open the door just as he was walking up the porch steps holding the hand of an unidentified girl. Olivia's wide toothed grin instantly disappeared replaced by a look of confusion. She stood there waiting for her Fitz and whomever this was to reach the doorway. Before she knew it they were standing before her.

"Hi, Livy. This is Melody, my girlfriend," he said with a smile.

Olivia's eyes darted between Fitz and the strange girl who was grinning like the cat who caught the canary. In that moment she knew nothing would ever be the same.