A/N: Dedicated to NallyLove, my friend, my supporter, my inspiration for this piece.
Disclaimer: This is a pure fanfiction with author rights only on the plot and not the pretty characters owned by their creators.
xoxo
Rains, Ahil hates them. Not because of the stupid lightening or thunder. It's the pitter-patter that annoys the hell out of him because he can still hear the noise of rain against a tin roof. He's not lived under a tin roof since forever but some sounds cannot be forgotten. Some parts of your life cannot be erased.
It's not the sound of rain that discomforts him; it's the shrieks that were muffled in the thunder that drowns his thoughts. Shrieks, they're different from shouts. Ahil knows why, he knows the difference between a shout and a shriek. A shout is not a helpless involuntary noise that leaves your mouth when the pain is intolerable, that's a shriek.
His fingers trace the screen of his phone; he needs to call Rihana because she will know someone who can drown this. The rain, the shrieks, the thunder.
A woman's moans are a man's greatest delight. Not Ahil's, he likes them quiet, breathy but quiet because he has heard moans and they were usually followed by shrieks. He would gag a woman if he needs to but he can't bear to hear a moan.
"Rihana, where's the party tonight?" Ahil's patience and endurance is thinning and he needs the solace of a warm soft body around him. He needs a distraction and he needs it now.
He shuts off his phone and walks out to his car; he's just about to open the door when he sees her.
His heart misses a beat. He then wonders what the hell that is and almost goes to the hospital fearing he's suffering from a heart disease. But he checks his arms and it doesn't feel like a heart failure. It's not a pain, just a small contraction. He dismisses it and opens the door. He sees her again and loses his focus and footing seconds apart from each other.
xoxo
She hears a noise and her instinct tells her to stop. But she overrules it and continues. With the past few days she's had, Sanam deserves this reprieve. That's what she keeps telling herself.
She loves rain; rains are best disguise of tears. Nobody can listen to sobs because the thunder and pitter-patter muffle that noise perfectly. Rains are the best times to drop her mask. To drop the cloak of responsibility and strength. She doesn't need to be strong in rain. She doesn't need to cater to her responsibilities. She needs to get lost in rain and that's what she needs today.
She loves her responsibilities and her life, hasn't regretted a single day or minute of it. But it's not easy. Some days, no matter how loved you are, you need a fathers kiss on your face. You need a mothers embrace. She never tells her grandmother about these days, they come and go and her grandmother doesn't deserve this despair. Her pain, her loss, it's hers to bear.
She has embraced the rain and is being kissed by droplets on her face. She's going to make the most of it. She needs this to survive and if it's a dance in the rain that keeps her sane, then so be it. People do much worse.
It's only fair that it rained today. Allah knew that Sanam needed it; she needed to flow in the rain because she wouldn't have survived in the dryness her life has found itself in. Today is the hardest day of the year. Today is her birthday. Today is the day she feels empty inside because nothing fills up the space her parents untimely death has left.
And today, today is the day she will dance the pain away. This rain like all rains will absorb her pain. This rain like all rains will give her strength.
This rain will change everything.
xoxo
He curses the skies for skidding him and hopes no one saw his downfall. Relieved to note everyone's absence, he remembers that they've all gone out of town this weekend. His foster mother and her desperate need to not stay in one place for long. She's never comfortable living in one house or one place. Maybe the air gets stale. It doesn't matter; she will always get what she wants because she's his everything.
A movement distracts him from his thoughts, it's her again. "Why the fuck is she dancing in this rain?" His thoughts are befuddled. This woman, he will never understand her. She's nothing, no one significant yet she walks, talks and lives like the world rests on her shoulders. Her very pale and smooth shoulders. He can see her dress clinging to her because she's drenched in rain. He hates getting wet. He hates rain. He opens the umbrella and walks.
Her stride comes to a halt mid-step and she finds herself surrounded by a cold body. She can't make out his words because a huge round of thunder garbles his noises, she shouts back, "WHAT?" He winces at the noise, his pain evident on his face. She's stunned to see such raw pain on his face and realises her decibel of sound. She whispers, "Why are you here?"
Her soft words shake the memory of "what" being shouted in rain, he looks into her eyes to reply, what he sees in them shocks him. He's never seen her eyes so empty, so hollow. He pulls her along to take her inside because he really hates rain and doesn't want to get wet.
She withdraws her hand from his and refuses to budge. He points at the stairs and walks away. He sits on the top stairs of the porch, the nearest he can get to rain; she understands his peace offering and sits on the last stair of the porch, farthest from the rain, accepting his offering.
Silence between them stretches. He's lost in his thoughts and she's lost in hers. He breaks away from his thoughts because he really doesn't need the noise in his head and asks the question that stopped him in the first place. "Why were you dancing in the rain? And more importantly, why were you crying if you were happy enough to dance?"
She's startled by his question because she's never had to explain herself. She says the first words that cross her mind. "Rain washes away my tears. Droplets kiss my face."
"I'll kiss your face." The immediate reply in his mind shocks Ahil, he's suddenly glad he didn't vomit it out. He takes a deep breath and words his next question carefully, not trusting his random thoughts and obviously not understanding the importance of a droplet's kiss, "you're so happy that you're crying in rain and dancing with it?"
She turns her head and looks at him; her eyes tell him these are not happy tears. "What happened to you?" He whispers to the rain. Her empty eyes are hurting his heart for some reason. She turns back, she hates that he's caught her today, today when she's lost her strength. When she doesn't have her armour.
"I should leave." She starts to walk away when she hears him say, "Please don't." He shouldn't ask her to stay he knows that. He's selfish. He can't survive this rain by himself. If nothing, he wants to know how the fire in her eyes has died. He's never seen her like this and it's scaring him.
His words are so pained. As if it hurts him to say them, she can't move leaving him like this. She doesn't understand him. He has everything in his life and yet he takes it for granted. He takes it from people less endowed. He's never faced a problem in his life such as hers. What will he ever understand about her? She sits back, closer to middle this time. He sits back too, closer to middle.
"These are not happy tears." He starts, hoping she will continue. She's staring at the rain. Trying to figure out if she should say anything. He's different today, softer. Tired, maybe. He's staring at her. Droplets falling from her hair to her shoulder blades. She's softer today, milder. She looks broken though. He doesn't understand why he noticed that.
"It's my birthday today," she says in such a small voice that if he wasn't paying enough attention he would've missed it as a gust of wind. "Then, why-" his words die on his lips when hears faint sobbing. Sobs are worse than shrieks. Shrieks need thunder to muffle them; they need an unbearable pain to emit. Sobs, sobs can be muffled by rain itself. Sobs are not a result of unbearable pain; they're a result of a pain that refuses to leave us. A pain that wrecks us and leaves us broke
He places a hand on her shoulder, for comfort or support he doesn't know. He just felt compelled to do so. She rests her cheek against his hands. His wordless support was accepted by her, no questions asked. She didn't have the strength to question his motives, she felt warmth in his gesture and she took it. She's so cold. So cold and empty.
He sees her shiver and places both his hands on both her shoulders. She shifts closer up a stair, his legs on both sides of hers. His hands resting on her shoulders, her back could touch his chest but isn't.
"I hate rain," he tells her. He never told anyone that. He doesn't understand why he told her just that he wanted to tell someone. She touches her back to his chest, and tilts her head on his shoulder, "why?"
He suddenly observes how close she is, how beautiful her lips are and how easy it would be to kiss them. He closes his eyes, to gather himself because her eyes will make him tell her and he really doesn't want to. "You don't want to know." He says after all.
She looks away into the rain. "I never saw my parents." The moment the words leave her mouth she regrets them, her body cringes. He notices her body contracting and rubs her shoulders subconsciously.
They needed a distraction. Both of them. He doesn't know how to process the information her words have given him. How she would've reacted if she heard, "you're lucky" from his mouth. That was the first thought in his head. He tells her something that shocks him and her both. Him because he never thought he would say it out loud and her because his words were so harsh she feels bruised by them. "I wish I didn't know mine."
She whips her head in his direction and notices for the first time that her back feels warm because his chest is touching it. And she notices her state of dress and feels utterly naked. Her questions and astonishment dies on her lips as she hastily gets up to change her clothes. He holds her hand and she looks back into his eyes. She musters a small smile and mentions coffee and change of clothes.
He nods and let her go. Shapes of her breasts were imprinted on his mind and the clothes clinging to her slim figure. Her hands were so soft even though she works all day. He curses himself for thinking about her. For telling her about 'them.'
His mind is suddenly filled with pitter patter and the shrieks that accompany them. The sudden blast of noise startles him. He was sitting in relative peace from past few minutes. Her presence dimmed the noises in head. Her touch muted them. He gets up to go find her, just to shut the noises. Just for tonight. Just for this rain.
xoxo
She peels off her pants as soon as she enters her room. She proceeds to dry her hair with the towel on the other side of the room. She doesn't register a presence in the room. Her heart is slowly losing the fullness she felt just few minutes ago. Desolation and destitution taking its place in her heart instead. She wonders what changed, why she's feeling even hollower than she did before she started dancing. She realises it's him! He filled her heart, for those few moments, there was no darkness. His presence, his touch, made her feel cherished. The darkness is crushing her again and she cannot escape it. She turns around to go to back, just to find some light. Just for tonight. Just for this rain.
He walks in the general direction of her room and finds the door ajar. He stops at the entrance and finds her walking toward the other side of the room. She picks up the towel and starts drying her hair. Her beautiful dark locks look even more gorgeous ruffled by the towel. And then he notices her body go rigid. Like she's being held captive by unseen ties. He sees her back straighten and observe a resolution that she's come to. He feels like he's intruding on her and just as he's about to turn, she turns back.
And just like that, the noises are gone. It's her. It's only her. He walks to her and places both his hands on both her shoulders. He looks at her, her hair ruffled, her clothes still wet, still clinging at her breasts and waist, her calves naked. He didn't know she's removed her pants. Her clothes are now sticking to her thighs, her slim thighs. He drags his eyes back to hers and places his forehead on hers. His eyes trained on her lips. He needs to kiss her right now before he combusts. "Please," he whispers.
His eyes hold hers captive, his touch feels like fire on her skin. She should feel cold. Her body is shivering but heart is filled with warmth, his touch does that. It fills her heart. His hands are on her shoulders. His thumbs running circles on her shoulder. He runs his palms down her shoulder and arms. Her body shivers and this time not from cold. She's staring at his lips when she feels his forehead on hers. His lips are turning blue from the rain and the cold. She wants to kiss them and send warmth through them. She can feel his laboured breath on her face. His forehead on hers, her nose touching his. And then a faint whisper of "please" breaks away any tie to reality that she possessed. It's him. It's only him now.
He wasn't expecting her kiss to come so suddenly as fiercely. She kissed him like she's starved. She bruised his lips with the onslaught of hers. Lips, teeth, tongue; his mouth was attacked by all. Seconds after she crushed her lips to his, she stopped. They're both breathing so hard and staring at what just happened. But before anyone of them let reality catch them he attached his lips against hers and proceeded to grab her and shove her against the nearest wall.
xoxo
They kissed hard and fast, bruising, biting, and sucking. They slowed down to nibbles and licks and soft kisses only to bite and bruise again. Their hands all over each other. Her hands in his wet hair, his hands on her hips. He grabbed her face with his hands and shoved his tongue in her mouth, pinning her to the wall with his hips on hers. His cock getting harder with her hands resting and kneading his ass. He's slowly driving into her with their clothes on when he feels her shiver.
He detaches his mouth from hers and proceeds to kiss her neck, her collar bones, and her shoulders. He kisses, then suckles and then kisses again. He slowly unties her dress and let's it fall. She's unbuttoned his shirt and thrown it off his shoulder. He's in his pants and she's in her undies. She's shivering again and he proceeds to kiss and suck between her breasts to keep her warm. She unties his belt and he removes his pants. His bulge finally breathing. Her eyes widen when she finds no underwear beneath. He removes her brassiere because he needs to suck on those hard nipples poking through her clinging brassiere. Before his mouth reaches her nipples, his head is being yanked in her direction and her teeth clashes against his making noise, her tongue battles with his own and he doesn't let her win. He battles right back sucking on her lips and taking her mouth in his.
Their kisses slow down to small pecks. His nose pressed against hers. His forehead on hers again. He stares in her eyes when his hands reach her panties. His eyes daring hers to say no, hand stills before removing them. She shifts her hips and licks her lips. He removes it all the way leaving them both naked. He cages his arms holding her captive inside them against the wall, his hips pinning her again. And suddenly everything changes because she smiles. She smiles and his lips stretch in return without a conscious thought or action on his part. And he knows, he knows nothing will ever be the same again.