Screaming, that's what I'm awoken by, the screaming of a middle-aged woman who can't hold down a job or pay people back, that screaming, insane woman is also my mother. You don't look forwards to days like these, when your awaken by your angry mother. She's not my favorite person in the world, but I cope with her in my own little way.
"Why do you keep doing this? You sleep all day and then your gone all night! What could you possibly be doing? Why don't you get a job or go to college?"
Shut [I]up[/I]. It's good to know you care about me so much you want to get me out of the house.
"Thanks mom, that means a lot coming from you. How many times have we had to move around because [b]you[/b] can't get a job, huh? Seriously, advice from you is like telling someone to go shove a pipe up their ass. It doesn't make sense and it ends up making things real bad later." This is usually how our conversations start out since about a week ago, with me half asleep and trying to not do anything too stupid.
My head might have been covered by a pillow, but I knew that woman's face was bright red. She loved me to death but I knew there were times where she wished she could through me off of a bridge, don't blame her most of the times. We share a mutual love/hate relationship. When you're a single mother and raise a kid that's been submitted to more things than they should have, it's hard. I know my mom's life has been tough, doesn't necessarily mean I think she has the right to screw me over, but I understand her on some parts. I'm not gonna beat around the bush, daddy isn't in the picture, but it never bothered me too much. My mom and I never talked about him because it just never came up. It seemed like there were better things to be concerned about than the lack of a father figure. I can guess he has blue eyes, cause my mom's are green and I've got blue eyes. I can guess that he has red-ish hair, cause my mom's a blonde and I've got dark red hair.
"Okay, y'know what, I have to go to work. I'm not going to stay here and argue with you. So you can sleep a few more hours till the sun sets! Maybe you'll grow up and stop being such a child! This is our life style, get use to it!" She screamed at me, while gathering her junk to go to work at some restaurant.
"Yeah! Love you too mom!" I screamed back while the woman stormed down the stairs and out the door into the sweltering heat of a California afternoon. [I]I hope you hairspray lights your head on fire[/I].
I'd lived in California once before, but it wasn't like here. My current residence is Santa Carla. This place has a little nickname that I'll share with you, it's the 'Murder Capitol of the World'. Now, isn't that great? This place is insane. [b]Fucking[/b] insane. I don't understand why, if my dear mother is trying to keep us in a good place why she moved here. Then again, we're probably just as crazy as the nut job on the street here.
Didn't even bother to hold in a groan as the phone downstairs started to ring. Flipping over, I felt around for the alarm clock that was on the floor. Turns out, it's about four o' clock, guess that' when mom goes to work. Since I've got nothing on my agenda, as usual, I took my time getting my ass out of bed and ended up staring at my self in the mirror for a few minutes. I looked like my mom…an insane woman. My hairs jacked up, but I've got short hair and the advantage of that for me is that I can do very little to de-crazify myself. So after messing with my hair and putting on a shirt so if someone knocks on the door I wont open in it with just shorts and a bra on.
Finally making my way down stairs, I realize the light on the telephone was blinking meaning someone left a message. Strangely enough, it was my mom. I bet myself ten dollars she going to scream at me some more.
[I]"Honey look, I know moving around for you is stressful but it's stressful for me too. I don't want us to be on bad terms, because we might be able to stay here for awhile. How about this, tomorrow morning-scratch that- afternoon because no doubt you'll stay out late again tonight[/I]", I could sense the smile in her voice, [I]"we'll have lunch together, okay? I'll make you some cinnamon rolls and cook some eggs for us, it'll be nice. I have to turn off my phone for work, but I'll try to check it a lot, y'know…if you wanna talk. Well, bye sweety, have a good day."[/I] Then the message cut off, I guess I owed myself ten dollars.
I stared at the phone for a moment, just thinking. [I]'Because we might be able to stay here for awhile'[/I], yeah because this place is filled with so many low-life people no one would find us. We'd blend right in. That woman was crafty, trying to get me in a good mood with my one weakness…food. It wasn't gonna be some crappy take out food which is what we normally eat, it's going to be REAL food.
Looking back through the messages, I picked up the phone and dialed the number she called from. It rang for a few seconds then went straight to voicemail.
"Hey mom, that food sounds pretty good. I'll be up to eat it…so yeah, bye…love you."
As I set the phone back down into it's cradle, I couldn't help but go into deep thought again. We might actually stay here, I might be able to do something worth while. We might stop being strangers everywhere we go.
That was the thing I hated the most. No matter where we went, we were always strangers. I was so sick of it. No one wants to be the person who doesn't fit in, who isn't understood, the person whose name no one knows. Strangers don't have names, but I finally have a chance at getting one. People might know it, I can stop being just [I]that[/I] girl. No one gets how tired I am of hearing that. So I'm ready for this.
Once I'm back in my room, I grab my old leather jacket, my back pack, some money, and a few extra pencils to throw in my backpack. I'm about to go do what I've done every day since we've gotten here. Instead of staying in the neighborhood this time, I'm going to go into town. There's a boardwalk in Santa Carla, and it's got everything I could need.
So, you want to know what I'm going to do? I'm going to draw.
Extremely exciting, isn't it? Well for me it is, don't give a shit if it's not to you I've been drawing since god knows when! It's the only thing I did beside being home schooled by my mom. All the weird places around this town would be amazing to draw. I couldn't wait. While walking out the door, I looked down at my shorts for a second. It'd probably be cold again like it was the night before so my legs would probably freeze off, oh well. You've got suffer for your art, right? Besides, these shorts were the only clean thing I had.
After locking the door to the house, I walked down to the bus stop and waited. The bus would take me to the outer edge of the town, then after that I was on foot. And I was fine with that. This way I'd get a better view of everything, and people could actually know my name now. They'd know that my name's Liana Crossgrove and I'm probably about to ruin my life.