Drink, Divorce
The drink tasted even more bitter than it was supposed to.
Which might or might not have been a direct result of her divorce being finalised today. And possibly with her husband's - no, make that ex-husband's - new girlfriend, who had legs up to the clouds and hair so shiny that it was actually painful to look at. The fact that the dreaded woman added insult to injury by having a brain and a successful career on top of her looks immediately propelled her to he number one spot on Mina's personal shit list. That woman had surpassed all of her ex-boyfriends (including the one that had run over her cat), her mother (and it was no secret that Mina and her mother couldn't be in one room at a time without breaking something in the process) and even her former boss (who had fired her three hours ago because a divorced woman wasn't fit to write for a bridal magazine).
Had she mentioned that Miss Shampoo Commercial was her ex-husband's divorce lawyer? No? Well, she was. Gulping down the remnants of her Campari Orange, she ordered a new one before the glass even hit the bar's smooth surface.
A deep voice cut into her thoughts.
"Make that two."
Mina winced: she would have recognised that baritone everywhere.
Trying to hide her discomfort behind aloofness, she tossed her hair back and winked at the bartender before asking the question that was burning on her tongue.
"What exactly are you doing here?"
True to form, he simply slid on the bar stool beside her without dignifying her question with an answer. He was still wearing the black suit she had seen him in court with and once again Mina thought that it would have been an excellent choice of dress for a funeral. He had even picked a black tie instead of his trademark dark grey ones. The mental image of their marriage being carried to the grave did nothing to make her feel any better, but it did cause her to smirk. Her own clothing was far less serious. Refusing to make a horrible day any worse by dressing out-of-character, she had donned a bright and tight Herve Leger dress, teamed it with a white blazer and a neat ponytail.
It seemed too long until the bartender put the drinks in front of them before shuffling off to the other end of the bar. At least one man knew when to leave her alone, Mina thought viciously. Staring straight ahead, she threw the next question his way. Her voice was not as acid as would have liked it to be, but she couldn't help that now.
"Why didn't you bring your girlfriend? I'm sure she would have appreciated the opportunity to gloat a little, after all she has been chasing you for months. Today must be her personal 4th of July, fireworks and all." She felt his eyes bore into her and the insides of her stomach exploded with a bunch of manic-depressive butterflies. Damn.
Taking a sip from his drink, Kevin snorted.
"Rei is not my girlfriend."
"Do you sleep with her?"
"No." Rolling her eyes but making sure not to meet his, she motioned to the bartender for another drink. The chestnut haired man just managed to hide the frown that was about to appear on his face because the glass he had placed in front of the blonde mere seconds ago wasn't even empty and yet she was already ordering another one. It was always the pretty ones that drank too much, unwritten bartender rule number three.
Unaware of the bartender's thoughts, Mina rolled another question over in her mind, ultimately deciding to ask it even if the answer might hurt. What's a finger cut off in the face of an amputation? "Did you sleep with her?"
"Yes." That stung. Nevertheless, she continued. She had a point to prove, after all.
"Do you hang out with her?"
"No."
"No?"
"No. I work with her. I don't hang out." He made it sound as if hanging out and snorting cocaine from dirty tables in sleazy bars with a couple of criminals for company were one and the same.
"Right. Because God forbid you should actually enjoy yourself and let loose sometime." He still got under her skin, just as he had always done. It was hard to remember the good times when there were so many arguments more than present in her mind. They had all started like this, a seemingly civil conversation that was actually a bomb waiting to go off.
"So you would rather have me hanging out with a woman you despise than to have me here with you right now?" His voice was brisk, offended, and she hoped that he would leave soon. Her facade was already crumbling.
"Stop it. I was merely trying to stress my point about her being your girlfriend."
"Which she's not, so your point is moot."
Knowing that there was no chance in heaven or in hell that she could actually win a discussion with him when her blood was presumably orange from the many drinks she had had, Mina reverted to silence. Once again, he had made her feel like an insolent child.
Had they still been married, this would have been the moment in which the wild make up sex would have had them rolling on the floor; her chance to show him that she was a worthy opponent, more than capable to hold her own. They would bite, scratch, fight until everything was resolved and laughter would replace the resentment cursing through her blood. Remembering the one time they had argued about a delivery guy she had allegedly flirted with and how Kevin had then pinned her against their glass entrance door before the UPS van had even left their driveway, she blushed. No words had been exchanged, but she had been begging all the same. He had always been so possessive of her, marking her as his and now he couldn't care less. She could probably do the bartender right in front of him and he would only scold her because it would mean that he had to wait for placing his order a little while longer.
Tracing the rim of the glass, she looked into its orange depth, wondering if she could drown herself in it.
"My mother asked me to tell you that she is very sorry about the divorce."
Thinking about the kind white-haired woman made her smile despite herself. They had always gotten along so well and losing her hurt almost as much as losing him.
"Is she angry?"
"Yes."
"Stop being so monosyllabic. We both know that you are capable of uttering words that have more than one syllable. You're a lawyer, for crying out loud."
The ghost of a smile flitted over both of their faces, but since she still refused to look at him, she missed the softened expression in his eyes. It might have made all the difference in the world, but she remained oblivious because once again, she wasn't able to jump over her shadow and face the music.
"I thought you and your mum didn't talk about emotional stuff. I didn't think you'd mention it to her."
"How could I not?"
"What's her take on it?"
"She thinks we're both idiots."
"We are, aren't we? Both of us. Have been, at least, but maybe we can..."
She stopped herself, feeling a blush creep up her neck to her cheeks. Worrying that she would make a complete fool out of herself, she quickly tossed some notes on the bar, grabbed her purse and escaped as fast as her high-heel clad feet carried her, saving both of them from the embarrassment that his answer would have brought along. He made no move to stop her. The unspoken rejection settled deep in her heart and even before she had reached the door, tears spilled over her charcoal lashes. She wiped them away impatiently, her fingers coming back with smudged black stains from the dark mascara she wore.
Of course, it was raining. Pouring, actually.
A small part of her lived in the vain hope that he would follow her outside and tell her that his mother had been right, they had both been idiots and belonged together despite all of their mistakes. But all she could hear was the sound of the rain hitting the dirty pavement, the cars driving by and the sound of her own choked sobs.
Years ago, Kevin had decided to become a lawyer. It had seemed like a natural choice at the time, since he was rule-abiding, convincing and equipped with a strong sense of right and wrong. Studying came naturally to him, but he did keep to himself a lot.
He met Mina in a coffee shop and mistook her for the waitress, even though he was later unable to explain why because all the other waitresses had worn uniforms and it wasn't like him to make such an embarrassing mistake. It might have been his sub-conscience playing a trick on him for he was instantly attracted to the lively blonde and thinking that she was a waitress allowed him to talk to her. She had played along, brought him the coffee he had ordered and another one for herself, the wide grin he would come to love plastered on her pretty face. He didn't go to class that day. They talked for hours and each word of hers had drawn him in more and more. He knew he wanted to marry her then and there, in a coffee shop with cheap linoleum floors, sticky tables and coffee that was too weak for his liking. It had been the beginning of a relationship that was as unlikely as it was romantic and despite all their differences, they had gotten married as soon as he graduated.
Now he suddenly found himself without her, bereft of the one person who had understood him like no other. Both of them were to blame for their marriage falling apart. He for gradually putting his work above her, she for making him jealous just because she could. It was quite ironic that it was him that chased after other women, when it was her that people called flighty.
He left the bar, leaving his second drink untouched.
There were times when not even your friends could make you feel better. And there were also times when you didn't want them anywhere near you.
Clutching the seat of her toilet, Mina cursed the bartender for being able to make these fantastic drinks, Mako for making her eat something before going into the courtroom this morning, Kevin for existing and herself for being so stupid. She had secretly hoped that they could still turn things around, she had carried that hope along with her everywhere she went. He had moved out almost a year ago and they had only ever seen each other in the presence of their respective lawyers until Kevin had found her in the bar today. He wasn't with Rei, he wasn't, and still, they were over. He had come to her, but it hadn't been for the reason she had hoped it was.
The radio was blaring; she had turned it on in the hope that it could drown out the sound of her retching. It couldn't. Joe Cocker's sang "You're so beautiful", but Mina felt anything but.
Kevin wanted closure, that seemed clear now.
She wanted him, and that was a truth so undeniable and overwhelming that it made her sick all over again.
When nothing was left in her stomach that she could regurgitate, she brushed her teeth, took a shower and went to bed, dressed in the one his shirt she had kept all this time.
It was still dark when she woke because the mattress shifted under a weight that wasn't her own. The smell of his cologne filled the small room and when she opened her eyes, his face was only inches from hers. She blinked.
"I came to rectify a mistake."
A million things came to her mind, but she blurted the most random one out, a croaked whisper in his presence.
"I didn't even know you still had a key."
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, speaking so low that she was barely able to catch his next words.
"I'm sorry."
His hand had entangled itself in her hair, and hers travelled to the collar of his shirt, tentatively reaching out. It felt so right to have him here, but it was wrong all the same.
"We're divorced." The statement hung in the air, pushing itself between them as effectively as if a boulder would have been dropped on the bed. Still, she had needed to speak this uncomfortable truth. It was too late for simple make up sex, and it didn't matter how good it would feel to press herself up against him again.
He swallowed, searching for the right words, but not finding any.
They lay in silence for a while. By being in the same room again without the weight of the outside world tearing them down, breathing together became a possibility again.
"I lost my job today."
"You did?"
She nodded her assent and smiled as his hand brushed her cheek, ever so careful in its movement as if it was something forbidden. Could they just turn back the time and be together again? Thinking about how her life was now (empty but peaceful) and how her life had been then (complete but tumultuous), she realised that they had never been a conventional couple. They had argued more desperately, loved more passionately and never played within the rules laid out by others. Why not be different again?
His presence in what used to be their home told her that he felt the same way. Like magnets, they were pulled closer to each other until she eventually rested in his arms.
"You know what? I still sleep on my side of the bed, leaving yours untouched."
"That's good. Then I don't have to reclaim it."
"Are you coming back?"
"Will you let me?"
"Yes."
Instead of speaking, he leaned over and placed a tender kiss on the tip of her nose.
"I missed you." She grinned and shuffled closer still. The fabric of his suit was soft against her skin.
"You can kiss my mouth, you know. I brushed my teeth."
He scrunched his face up, both in disgust and in laughter.
"You got sick, didn't you?"
"Well, I did have a lot to drink."
"I think you scared the bartender."
"I also tipped him better than anyone else in there, including you, so that should be fine."
"Since I didn't tip him at all, that wasn't difficult."
"Not tipping people is rude. Why didn't you? He was so polite."
"He was also looking at you in a way that I didn't condone. And you winked at him."
"Jealous?"
"Always."
The rest of the night was spent just like their first afternoon together, talking and talking and talking until the bond they had always shared was strengthened again. When they stepped into the registry later that day, he was still dressed in the suit they had gotten divorced in. The wedding was less glamorous than their first one, it was a brief affair, over before it had really begun- and yet it mattered more.
It was their second chance, their last one. They promised each other to make things right this time around. It was a promise they would keep.
The End