Title: between me and you.
Summary: "It looks like winning the fight but losing your life; like war with one too many casualties." Toph breathes out: "that doesn't sound beautiful at all." Zuko blinks, before he reaches for her hand and grasps it loosely. He says, "come now, Toph; you and I know, better than most, that beauty can be found even in pain."
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, or any of its characters.
Notes: So, I chose the prompt "did you think i forgot?" and rolled with it. This was originally going to be a Tokka fic, but then all of a sudden it veered into a Toph and Zuko sibling-relationship fic, and I just went with it. As for the Timeline: Toph is nineteen, her parents died when she was fourteen; it's been seven years since the end of the war. I hope you enjoy!
between me and you.
by michellejjones.
"Ms Bei Fong," the voice cuts through the air with practiced precision, a note of affection ringing in it even through the poised professionalism. "I didn't expect to see you here."
If she could see, she would note the crinkle in his eyes as he smiles, the way his scar wrinkles as he spreads his teeth in a small grin; she would note that his hair has grown longer, the way he stands relaxed around her, full of affection. If she could see him, she would see Firelord Zuko, standing in all his glory before her, greeting the person in Avatar Aang's family who gave him the benefit of the doubt when no one else would.
"Hey, hothead," she grins, turning her body towards the sound of his voice; through her earthbending, she sees where he stands and stalks over to him, "how's it going?"
Before he can answer, another voice chops the clearing around them, loud and booming and the closest thing she's ever had to a true father. "Toph!" Strong arms envelope her, and if it weren't for the fact that Zuko has described to her, in detail, what his uncle looks like, she would think Iroh young. "What brings you here, my daughter?"
The sky is painted red as they amble back to the house that used to be Zuko's family's beach house; now, it is a shared heirloom, a sanctified get-away. Zuko gave keys to each member of their gang, along with a note that said "anytime you want to come to Ember Island and spend time there, you are welcome."
"We didn't expect anyone for another two days, at least," Zuko tacks on to his uncle's question, and they both shoot her inquisitive glances that they forget she can't see.
Toph's jaw sets, and both men cringe, already regretting having asked. "Oh," she says, in a tone that dismisses the question, "a little of this, a little of that. If I'm not welcome, I can rent a hotel."
Zuko snorts, "Toph, you're always welcome."
"You are family," Iroh affirms, throwing an arm around his son and daughter in all but blood. He feels them both tense underneath him, and inside, he wilts a bit: even six years later, that hardened exterior is still rooted deep within them. "And now that Toph is here," uncle Iroh waltzes forward, dropping his arms from around them, "she can help us set up!"
Toph huffs, "last year, I hosted the party in celebrating the wining of the war, and you want me to help again?" She feigns annoyance, "lazy thugs."
"Would you like some tea, Toph?" Uncle Iroh gets to work in the kitchen, not asking Zuko if he'd like some; he knows the answer will be yes.
She hesitates for a hairsbreadth: "sure, but not too sweet."
"I would never commit such a heinous act!" Iroh begins to rummage through the cupboards. "Zuko, Toph, why don't you two go outside and watch the sun finish setting? I have a feeling it will be especially breathtaking tonight. Zuko will describe it to you, Toph."
Eyeing each other, the two benders walk outside and sit on the porch steps, shoulders touching as Zuko watches the sun sink low over the sea. Absently, Toph pulls her hair out of its bun, and Zuko, deciding she has the right idea, copies her actions. Their raven hair blows in the wind, and, in a whisper, Zuko speaks. "Uncle was right. The sunset is beautiful."
She swallows. "Describe it to me?"
He hesitates; Zuko has never been good with words. That was always Iroh, and Aang, and Katara. But this is Toph; she is a realer sister to him than his blood-sister, and he would die a million times over for her. So he speaks. "It looks like the bitterness of a war with one too many casualties. It feels like a boy who stood up for what was right but was punished anyway. It looks like the feeling of winning the fight but losing your life; like a girl who was born blind but survived against all odds, by the skin of her teeth and the bruise of her cheeks; it is a lover leaning over their beloved, wishing and wanting and waiting against all hope for their loved one to wake up."
Toph breathes out, a gasp escaping before she can cover it: "that doesn't sound beautiful at all."
Zuko blinks, before he reaches for her hand and grasps it loosely. He says, "come now, Toph; you and I know, better than most, that beauty can be found even in pain."
She doesn't respond, just lets him pull his hand away and rest against her back. Their breathing is steady as they sit in thought, before Zuko breaks the quiet, his voice pensive. "Did you visit their graves?"
Her legs shift, and if it weren't for the fact that they've been friends for seven years, he wouldn't know she was startled. "Who's graves?"
"Come now, Toph; stupidity has never suited you well."
Toph snorts, and just then, uncle Iroh brings out their tea. "I think I will retire to my quarters," he says jovially, "you two enjoy your tea, and stellar company." He smiles kindly at his children, and as he turns around, he silently marvels at how similar they look in the darkness. Sharpened features, hidden eyes, long raven hair, and brilliant smiles.
When he has disappeared into the house, Toph takes a sip of her tea. Zuko does the same, and then he breaks the silence again.
"Did you think I forgot?"
His tone is one of accusation, almost daring her to say yes, because I didn't think you cared.
By now, Toph supposes she should know better; Zuko cares so much about so many, that he is so often fit to burst because of it. She thinks that maybe that is why he and Aang get along so well; two long-lost brothers, family, caring so much that at times it almost kills them.
Instead, Toph downs the rest of her tea so fast that Iroh would have a heart attack if he knew, and then she spins around so she's sitting cross legged in front of the Firelord. "No; I thought I'd forgot."
"Toph, they're your parents."
"They died five years ago; we'd barely even made up."
"They were murdered."
She sits in silence; for the strongest earthbender in all the realms, Zuko thinks she looks a little defeated. "Goddamn if this doesn't suck. They were on their way to visit me; it was my caravan that those murderers raided, my men they tore apart, my parents that they, that they-" she blinks "-that they killed. All because they knew it would hurt me." Toph shakes her head, "no, Zuko; I'd never think you'd forget. I thought I'd forget, eventually; but I couldn't. That's why I'm here, I guess."
"You needed to get away."
"People leave me flowers; I can't see them, but I can smell them. And I'd go to Aang, but Katara's there, and I can't take both of their emotions at the same time; they're affectionate and can't leave me alone when I need my solitude, they don't understand that people... grieve, differently. And I'd go to Sokka..."
Memories flash through Zuko's head; Sokka and Toph have never been like siblings. They have never even really been like friends, and Zuko can see that Toph is getting tired of whatever they are. "But some things are too hard," Zuko offers, "to sit through."
Toph grimaces, yet she nods. "Aang has always been like a twin brother to me; we're the same age, people say we look the same, and he's like me, in his strength, in his love for mischief, but a polar opposite in everything else. Katara's my friend; the first friend I ever really had, and therefore the strongest. But you're..." he can see her closing up; she doesn't want to tell him, she's not ready yet -and that's okay. Zuko knows. Oh, he knows.
"So are you." He says, "it sucks your parents are dead."
"Yeah, it does. But that's life." Toph sighs. "I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this."
Something stirs in the Firelord's memories; he's sixteen and sitting with his insane sister, his fiance (then girlfriend), his close friend. Two elderly ladies peer down at him: "Like waves washing away the footprints on the sand, Ember Island gives everyone a clean slate. Ember Island reveals the true you." The words tumble out of his mouth, and then he adds, "that's what Lo and Li said to me, when I came here as a kid."
"We're still kids," Toph argues, but she's smiling.
"Touche," Zuko says, and he lets her punch him in the arm. "Toph?" He asks, finishing his tea. The sky is dark.
"What is it, Firelard?"
Firelard, he thinks, that's a new one.
He laughs, and Toph thinks it sounds a lot like Iroh's guffaws. "Between me and you? I'm glad you're here."
Quips rush through her mind, but somehow they all seem unfitting for the occasion, however small the occasion may be. So instead, she says, "I'm glad you're here, too. But that's just between me and you."
The silence settles around them, and Zuko's never been good at emotions (the spirits know that Toph is worse), but for right now, this moment, sitting here with his sister, is enough.