Title: What Goes Around Comes Around.
Rated: K.
Characters: Most season 2 characters.
Summary: Sheridan gets sweeties- pass 'em along.
Authors' Note: I like sweets... And no comments on how flat this is please! It is half ten at night and I'm getting up at five tomorrow- morning! Grr...
* * *
"I think that's everything. Oh, have you still been eating well? Please answer in your next letter or I'll worry!"
Mentally, John groaned. Ever since Anna had... passed away, Lizzy had taken it upon her to pester him about trivial things like his diet. It drove him absolutely crazy, but he felt like he couldn't complain about it. It felt a bit like shoving a gift back down her throat.
"Send me one when have time. I love you big brother." The image froze at the end, his sister's face frozen on the screen, her smile wide and open. Whenever he thought about how much he'd suffered and lost during his time in EarthForce, especially during the War, thinking about how Lizzy could still smile like that always helped him get over it.
As he went to pick up the package the data crystal had come in he realised there was something else in the box. Picking it up, he groaned.
Space Sweets. A nearly obsolete brand of hard boiled, sugar coated fruity sweets that he'd insisted his parents move heaven and Earth to find when he was younger. He'd stockpiled them under his bed, he'd bought them every time he could, spent all of his pocket money on them and they'd been the greatest thing ever for him when he was younger. Hence the acne problems when he hit puberty.
He'd gone off them, as had everyone else who'd supported the company that made them by buying them in the truckloads, once he got past adolescence. Apparently no one told Lizzy that. He'd have to throw them out the first chance he got...
Except he couldn't while Lizzy's frozen face smiled at him from the screen. More of the 'shoving gift down throat' guilt trips were not on the agenda. He'd give them to someone else- someone who'd enjoy them like they should have been. At least then the gift would be appreciated.
As he prepared to go and went over to the screen to shut it off, he still felt guilty. Lizzy had no doubt expected him to jump for joy and eagerly swallow half the bag the moment he saw them. If she knew he hadn't even had one, she'd be heartbroken...
Well it wasn't like he was going to tell her. She wouldn't know.
It still made him feel bad.
Wanting to get rid of the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, John opened the bag and ate one of the sweets. As tangy and cloying as ever.
Putting the rest of the bag in his pocket and feeling much better about giving them away, he turned to go.
***
As I swallowed the last of my sweet, I entered my office, which was straight and ordered as ever. I much prefer it that way, being a neat freak. One of the things that Lizzy always teased me about. Not that she could talk about orderliness- she wouldn't know tidy if it came up and bit her on the nose!
As I went to sit down, Susan came in, looking harassed. She usually did, especially at the start of her shift when she found out just how bad things had gotten when she'd been gone. It was amazing how fast the place went to pieces the second she was off shift.
"The Drazi ship Gathor has threatened to lodge a formal complaint with EarthForce about our policy on weapons checks. Two cargo ships are late, four minor pirate attacks have been logged, none of them serious thank God, and a Centauri ship's Captain has been detained- smuggling. I suspect on Ambassador Mollari's orders."
"Quite possibly." And I'm going to be having words with him later. He should not be abusing his Diplomatic Immunity for pathetic things like this. Or at all, ideally. At the very least, he shouldn't be stressing Susan so much. Her job is difficult enough. Hey! That gives me an idea. "Susan! Do you like sweets?"
She frowned, looking confused. "I will never admit to anyone else that these words have ever left my mouth, Sir, but yes."
"Oh good." I get to pass them on to someone who will truly enjoy them. Least this way, there's no guilt trip. "Here." Handing over the bag to the puzzled Commander, I couldn't stop the grin. "Cheer up Commander. That's an order."
"Yes Sir." She said, hiding a smile. She quickly opened the bag and popped one of the sweets into her mouth, briefly grinning. "The sugar rush should help with that, Captain. Plus it might make me a bit sweeter."
As she left, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of a 'sweet' Ivanova. Getting to my work, or rather, the unmanageable pile of paperwork on my desk, the smile refused to budge.
***
I'm not fat. I do not to worry about restricting my diet too much. I can have a bag of sweets without issue. No problem.
I can't refuse a gift. Or give one back. It would be way too rude. I'll just have to have the sweets and just up my exercise.
It's against regulations to turn down a gift from a superior officer. Yeah, right next to the regulations about not refusing to sleep with a superior officer.
The thing is, I really don't want to risk losing track of my weight and then having to work at getting slim again. I'd rather avoid getting the problem in the first place than try to fix it.
In the middle of my train of thought and still chasing the last fragments of chemically enhanced sugar, the door to C+C opened. Doctor Franklin walked in, looking slightly more stressed than was good. Poor man probably had five hundred things to do before lunch. He could probably do with a hug. Not that I ever hug. Ever.
Wait a minute- ah! Two raiders, one shot. So to speak.
"Doctor Franklin!"
"Commander Ivanova." Said the rumpled medicine man. "I need your authorization for this..."
Signing the form, I smiled. "You look like you could do with a lift." Stephen half-laughed in acknowledgment. "Well then, I've got the perfect solution." I hand him the bag of sweets, smiling at him. "Smile. That's an order!"
He obviously couldn't help it. He smiled, the facial twitch seeming to come out of nowhere. He reached out and accepted the bag happily. "Thank you Commander. If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were a nice person!"
"Never let anyone else hear you say that!" I said, mock seriously. Then I grinned again, unable to help myself. Stephen's smiles were just so infectious.
"Now, I've got to get back to work, as do you, unfortunately."
"Yes Commander." Said Stephen, saluting briefly before turning around and walking out, sneaking one of the sweets on the way.
I turn back to my hell of the day. Usually I do this with a look on my face, one that sends my techs fleeing at regular intervals. From the alarmed looks on Corwin's face, mine is different from usual.
I think it's the smile.
***
As I walk into my MedBay, playing with the last of the sweet with my tongue, I meet my least favourite patient in the world.
"Well well, Mister Garibaldi. To what do I owe the pleasure? Or did my threats actually work this time?"
He smiles, the way he usually does. Sarcastically and yet still charming. The only person I've ever met who could pull both off at the same time. "Yeah, well, I may hate these things but at least it'll convince you to stay off my back for a while."
And we commenced with 'this thing', which was Michael's annual physical. He always drags ass about this, you'd think I was going to put needles in his eyes. Deliberately, anyway.
As we bicker our way through the examination, I can't help but notice he's quieter than usual. It probably means he's on another quest, but I'm not going to curse whatever it is. It got him to behave for me, which is very difficult to do. I should know, I've been trying ever since I arrived.
Wrapping up the torture, with the customary 'well you're in one piece, which is good', I couldn't help but smirk. "You've been a very good boy today. And here's your present for it!"
I didn't have time to pig out on sweets, but I really didn't want to just throw them away. Or leave them to melt and grow fur in a drawer somewhere. So, I pass them on.
As I handed the sweets over, I could have sworn I'd seen something in his face as he took them. Only for a second, then it was gone and he was smiling, widely and honestly.
"Thanks Stephen! That's gonna make my day!"
As he left, sucking one of the sweets, I went back to my work, grinning.
***
Oh boy. I'm sure I've told him I hate sweets. I'm sure I have. Right?
Damn. I'm going to taste that one I took all day. It'll wreck my coffee. I gotta get rid of these.
As I run into the Sec Hub, I practically bounce off Zack, who's waiting with an expectant look on his face. Nuts.
"Zack, I'm so sorry, your proficiency exam is going to have to wait. That damn med check up's wrecked my whole schedule. I need to do these files on Deuce, I can't do you too..."
"Oh, it's fine Garibaldi. This stuff can wait." Zack smiled, putting the data crystal on the side of my desk. Now I feel bad. And it's not because of the sweet.
"Oh, hey-" That gives me an idea. "Here. Have these."
Zack's eyes light up like a kid's as I hand him the bag. "You're sure?!"
I nod, not wanting to be misunderstood. "Yeah. They were a gift but I'm not fond of them. Enjoy them please, for Stephen's sake." He grins, his usual open guy grin that, right now, had a hint of childish glee in it.
"Thanks so much Michael! I love these!" He practically inhales one of them as he leaves, still bubbling with gratitude. Suppressing laughter at his childish behaviour- not something I see from him too often mind- I go back to the tediousness of work.
And I can't get rid of this damn smile.
***
Whoops. Sugar rush. I'm gonna be rebounding off everything I pass all day. Not to mention the headaches.
I should probably get rid of the sweets. But I do love them, and they were a gift. A secondary one, yeah, but still, a gift. Only superior officers get to refuse gifts. I can't.
The doors opening shock me out of my thoughts, just in time to see Vir Cotto come on the lift, looking upset. Probably another argument with Londo. The Ambassador was a cruel boss, and Vir was a patsy. A nice patsy everyone else liked, but still. A patsy. And a pushover for someone like Mollari. He could really do with a new spine.
Or a sugar rush...
"Hey Vir! Another row with Londo?" The aide spluttered, muttering something about 'classified' and 'he'd kill me'. "Well here. Have these, they'll make you feel better."
If I can't risk getting nuts on these things, maybe I can at least give them to someone who could do with getting a little nuts. The look on face alone is worth it.
"Just, maybe, you could try standing up for yourself once in a while. Maybe it would shock him into being nice."
"That's doubtful, but thank you Mr Allan." He smiled, his eyes crinkling up and glinting kindly.
As the lift slowed to a stop, he left, sucking on one of the sweets. I couldn't help but feel a little saintly for the admittedly small act of kindness, especially given how much work I've got piled up for the rest of the day. In fact, I couldn't get rid of the smile.
***
As the last of the sweet thing dissolves away, I heave a sigh of relief. Thank the Great Maker for the end of that. I'm not having another of those.
I should have thought of the difference in Centauri physiology from human physiology. Our tongues are much more sensitive to chemicals, like those found in flavoured sweets like this. I'm lucky I don't have a hole in my tongue.
I can't bring myself to put the sweets in the bin. To throw away a gift is unconscionable. But I can't keep them, I can't eat them... what can I do?
"Ah, Vir. I've been looking for you. I have that information on Minbari culture that you wanted."
"Ah! Lennier! Thank you so much! Reading about your culture helps me to forget about certain aspects of my own." Ah, wait. Minbari tongues are far stronger than both Centauri and Humans. And it is a Human custom of thanks... "Here, for being such a good friend."
Lennier frowned in confusion as he accepts the bag. That's what I like about him, he seems so wise, being around him always makes me feel better, and yet his curiosity never ceases.
"It's a Human tradition." I think.
Lennier bows his head, smiling lightly. As he takes one of the sweets in his mouth, we walk along for a bit, planning a meeting later in the Zoccolo bar. When he finally goes to attend to his duties, I find I can't stop smiling.
***
As I walk into the cool, dimly light quarters, I swallow the last of the sweet. It would be unseemly to have something in my mouth while I speak to Delenn. Besides, they weren't particularly nice. Too flat and tasteless for my personal tastes.
Suddenly I see Delenn sitting on the sofa, her head bowed. She looks truly upset about something, and I feel my own heart tremble at the thought of something hurting her.
"Delenn? Are you alright?"
She breathes in through her nose, sounding as if she's been crying. "Yes Lennier. I am fine." She doesn't sound fine.
"Delenn, will you not tell me what has upset you?" She sighs.
"It is nothing. Just... Ravell, Nathenn and Sorgonn have all refused to speak to me regarding the raider damage to their ship. They insisted on talking to their superiors on Homeworld. Because it was Minbari business. And I..." She sounds even more upset now. "I am not Minbari anymore."
"You are!" I insist, trying not to reveal too much with my words. Just the truth of them. "You are more Minbari than them, if they truly cannot understand that flesh is only flesh!" She smiles, her eyes lighting up as she looks at me.
"You always know what to say to help me, Lennier. My closest friend."
Friend. She will always consider me her friend. Never her... anything else.
Trying to comfort myself with the knowledge that I am, at least, something to her, I think of the sweets. As a half-human, physically only, of course, her tongue is sensitive enough to appreciate the gift from Vir. And it is Human tradition to give such gives to someone you hold dear...
"Delenn?"
"Yes Lennier?"
"I would like to give you this gift as a sign-"
Of my devotion.
Of my affection.
Of my...
"Of friendship. I believe it is a human tradition.
She smiles again, her smile cutting through me like a blade. It is the smile of a friend. Nothing more.
"I thank you for your gift Lennier. You have always been, and will always be, my closest friend. My most trusted and truest friend." As she accepted the gift and held my hand for the briefest moment, my smile of bitter pain fooling her as she left, I felt my heart shred once more. Yet again, the universe makes its point. I will never be anything to her.
Anything but a friend. And is that truly not enough? She trusts me and cares for me. Perhaps not in the way I would wish, but she still does care. My smile broadens to an expression of true gratitude to the universe for that much.
***
As I enter John's office, bringing with me the small bag of sweets from Lennier- such an unusual gift!- I consider the workload I must bring with me. The negotiations will be very difficult, but if John can succeed in them...
At that point, the wall on the other side of John's desk is struck with a small pad.
"DAMMIT!!!"
"John!" I admonish. "Such exclamations are not appropriate in your office!"
"Actually, they are." He says mulishly (I am told that is a real word.) At least he seems calmer. I cannot help but smile at his face, the red flush of anger fading the longer I stand before him.
"Here," I say, wanting to say something to him, something about something other than work. Something innocent. "Would you like to share these with me?" They were a gift, there are only two left."
As I pull out the bag of Earth sweets, the strangest look crosses his face. Almost like surprise, or embarrassment. Surely, my understanding of human emotions is flawed. Why would such an expression cross his face in the light of such a gift?
As I hand one of the last sweets over to him, our hands brush. As we both raised the sweets to our lips, our eyes meet. As we opened our mouths and take in the delicacies, both of us smile.
And we cannot seem to stop.
***
At that moment, the emergency alarm went off.
"Captain Sheridan, report to C+C!"
"GODDAMMIT!!!"
"John!"