Hi everyone! It has been about 5 years since I have written anything and so I am excited and nervous at the same time to be sharing this story. I was inspired to write it after the last PLL episode (7x04) with the scene with Hanna, Caleb, and Spencer. Leave a review if you can. Thank you.
You know that moment, the one where you are just going along and minding your own business and all of a sudden you get a shocking realization. It happens so suddenly that the impact leaves you feeling hollowed out, like you can't even believe it.
That is the moment I am living right now.
I am looking up into the face of my current best friend and I have come to the realization that somewhere along the way I fell in love with him. And right now I swear that he feels the same way, but it also looks like he wants to tell me something, like it has been bothering him all night.
I tear my eyes away from him and start rifling through my purse to find the keys for my apartment, which is turning out to be quite the distracting task.
"Spencer there is something that I have to tell you."
I can hear it in his voice, one way or the other, whatever he is about to say is going to change the relationship that we currently have.
I raise my head from my purse and give him my full attention.
Instead of speaking again though his eyes just keep searching mine as though he is looking for the answer to something and he thinks that I have it.
He steps closer and I tilt my head back so that we will keep our eye contact.
He raises his hand from where it was resting at his side and out of the corner of my eye I see him start to raise it towards my face.
Ever so lightly he begins to trace the lines of my face and he runs his finger along the small cleft that I have in my chin.
"Caleb, what are you doing?" I am surprised by how shaky my voice is.
"I've been staring at you all night and all I want to do is kiss you and I know I'm not supposed to feel this way because you're Hanna's best friend but I do."
"Yeah you shouldn't kiss me." I say the words and while I mean them at the same time I hope that he won't listen to me.
His hand is still tracing my face and I am finding it extremely hard to concentrate.
"We would hurt Toby too."
"Caleb, is there something else that you were going to tell me tonight?"
I asked because I figured that kissing me couldn't have been what made him so distracted during drinks, a movie, and the impromptu stop with the violinist.
"It doesn't matter anymore."
He brings his other hand up and it rests on my waist and I start to feel the gentle pressure of his hand as he pulls me a ting bit closer to him. His other hand is in my hair now and I can feel that he is going to kiss me; despite both of us knowing it's a bad idea.
I glance down at his lips once before allowing my eyes to drift shut and just as they do I can feel his breath ghosting across my face.
When his lips touch mine it can barely be called a kiss, but my heart starts to speed up and I know that there is no going back.
I move my arms from my sides and wrap them around his waist as my keys and purse fall to the floor.
Our lips meet again and this time they press together in such a way that there is no mistaking our actions.
We continue to make out in my hallway and soon Caleb presses me back against my door and his lips move from mine to my neck.
All I can think about is how right this feels, like the last few months are just coming together to make this one perfect moment. His lips are moving lower and they soon reach my collarbone before he starts making his way back up to my mouth.
When his lips touch mine again I know for a fact that I am in love with him and I also know that this would kill Hanna; still though I don't pull away from him.
Our kisses slowly become less desperate and turn into soft and gentle kisses that leave me feeling as though I am floating.
Caleb pulls back and looks at me as my eyes open again and I can see the admiration shining in his eyes along with a lustful look that I am sure my eyes mirror.
"Caleb, where do we go from here?" I ask but I am afraid of what his answer will be. After this I don't think I could go back to how we were before but on the other hand we really shouldn't be doing this because all we are going to do is hurt the people we love.
"We are going to step away from each other and you are going to go inside and I am going to go home and we are going to spend the night thinking about what we want. In the morning I am going to come over here and we are going to talk about it."
He makes it sound so easy, like if we just go to bed the answer will come to us in our dreams. I know that I won't be able to sleep at all tonight but he doesn't have to know that.
"Okay, are you going to bring my coffee when you come over?" I ask and attempt to lighten the heavy air between us.
He smiles and kisses me again, "Of course I am, I do know that much about you."
I let my hands drop from his waist and he takes a few steps back from me. I lean down and grab my purse and my keys that I had dropped when he first kissed me. Turning away from him I put the key in the lock and turn. The hallway in my apartment is black and I reach my hand inside to flick the light on before turning back around to see him.
He smiles at me again softly and he takes my hand and says. "In case you were wondering, I don't regret any part of this."
"Good, we are on the same page then." I say.
"I will see you in the morning and we can go from there."
He drops my hand and leans in to quickly kiss me. I stare at him in question as he pulls away.
"That was just in case you decide this won't be happening again." He smirks at me and starts to walk back down my hallway to the elevator. I watch him until he turns the corner and then head inside for the night, knowing I won't be sleeping at all.