I Promise

Authors Note~ Okay, an Adam/Aaron fic… Not sure how good this is, I personally like it but hey, that's just me. I'm pretty certain this idea has been done before but then again, maybe it hasn't…; ) Probably has…

Oh well, please read and comment, I loves a bit of feedback…

I watch you.

I watch you laugh, cry and shout.

You throw plates at my head. You grab mugs and crash them against the wall. You cuddle into a pillow and sob your eyes out.

You tell me over and over that I'm wrong, that it can't be true.

But I'm right.

I know what I'm doing here, mate.

XoX

You're not sure whether to trust me or not.

Your bright blue eyes are looking at me, searching me for the answer, begging me to reveal what I know and how I know it.

But I can't tell you that.

I'm telling the truth though, I promise you that much.

OOO

You can't help but laugh when you see my choice of clothing.

I did it for you, the trackie bottoms, the matching hoody.

It's all for you.

I know that you want to crack jokes about my sense in fashion. I know that you want to pick me apart, snap at me until you've hit a nerve.

So off you go mate.

Try and make me cry. I'll shed a tear for you, I promise.

OOO

You're running, your fist raised above your head, you're ready to deck him, deck everyone who dares to look at you funny.

I'm right behind you; I'll watch your back. I wont let anyone hurt you.

And you trust me, or rather you trust HIM. But it's still me.

Sort of.

OOO

We're in the café and your talking to me about cars and I smile at the way it lights up your entire face, the way your eyes sparkle as you talk about the different alloy wheels and power steerings of some of the most expensive cars in the world.

And you mistake me for someone who cares but that's my fault because I have tricked you.

OOO

You pull at the front of my shirt, telling me how much you hate me, telling me I'm a liar and a thief.

I agree with you entirely mate, but you are blinded by hate so how could you possibly see the good in me?

So I roll with the punches and sway with the slaps because in the end I know that you know that this was a promise.

OOO

You love my shirt. You tell me so yourself.

I give you a small twirl and you laugh, pulling me close for a hug.

And I accept it, loving the feeling of your strong arms wrapped around my waist, your soft lips gently pressed against my ear, whispering words that describe my beauty.

And my eyes water slightly because you're so in love with me.

It's just not the REAL me...

OOO

We're panting down an alley, forehead to forehead.

You're telling me about how you love me and I love watching the way your lips move, the way you seem so confident in your convictions.

And you blush slightly when you realize how much you have revealed and that makes me laugh and kiss you on your warm, wet lips.

And you wrap your arms around me even tighter and smile widely at me, telling me how in love we are and how we were made for each other.

And my breathing hitches, forgetting for a moment that you're not seeing the real me, convincing myself that it is ME that your in love with, not HIM.

But that's just another lie, isn't it mate?

OOO

Your hands are slipping themselves between my hard, tanned thighs and I'm spreading them eagerly, wanting more touching, more you.

And you slip your fingers inside of me, causing me to wriggle with pleasure and that's when I catch sight of myself in the reflection of your eyes.

My big eyes, red, swollen lips, soft brown beard and I suddenly push you away, apologizing.

And you seem to understand but how could you POSSIBLY understand because I'm not the person you think I am.

Or am I?

OOO

Your fist is raised, inches from my face and you're telling me to give you one good reason, one good reason not to deck me.

And I'm racking my brains, trying desperately to think of one and the clock is ticking and your fist is shaking and so I blurt out the first thing that pops into my head.

'I love you, mate.'

And my God, that's not a lie Aaron.

I promise.

OOO

You're running your hands through my dark, brown hair, telling me that if you had to stay here forever that it would be with me.

You tell me that you wish we could have forever together.

And I promise that I'll always love you forever and that I'll always remain loyal to you.

And you laugh, telling me that was a big promise.

I tell you that the bigger the promise, the easier it is to keep.

And you kiss me.

And I just wish, wish deep in my bones, that I could show you who I really am…

OOO

We're at a bar and there are men everywhere: eying me up and down and smirking at you.

A tall, blonde Swedish looking type walks over, a swagger to his step.

'Hey, why don't you let me buy you a drink?'

I ignore him and continue talking to you, turning my back even more to him. And you're after placing your hand on my hip, a protective look on your face.

'Hey!' he snaps, getting more aggressive.

'Fuck off!' I growl.

And you look at me in shock and raise an eyebrow and I laugh it off, standing up and grabbing your hand, offering you my sweetest grin.

'Come on Aaron, lets go somewhere else!'

And you follow, still believing that I am who I say I am.

OOO

'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!'

You're shaking with anger, shaking your head, shaking all over.

'I know…' I whisper guiltily.

But mate, if only you really saw what went on inside this head of mine.

It's all for you.

It's always for you.

God, I promise.

OOO

We're dancing in the street in the rain and it's such a cliché but I don't care because it's with you.

You're laughing and you have shown me so much more of you than I could ever have possibly hoped for.

And my white shirt is getting wet and see through but I don't care, not really because we're having such a good time and you're telling me that you never wanted to leave Manchester and that you would happily stay here forever.

'But what about Paddy? And Rhona? They asked you to move back to Emmerdale with them?' I ask.

And you laugh and leave a moment pass before you answer.

'I'd miss them…but Jay, if it meant I got to spend all of eternity here with you, I wouldn't care. Not really.'

'They'd be devastated mate.'

And you sigh and shake your head, looking off in the distance.

'Please, just let me be selfish. Just once.'

OOO

'You're an idiot! I can't believe you'd do something like this!'

You don't want to hear my excuses so I keep them to myself.

You don't want to hear how much I love you, so I remain silent.

OOO

You are lying on top of me, kissing me passionately.

And I am responding desperately because I want this so damn badly.

You slide up my shirt, rubbing my nipples, pulling down my boxers with your other hand.

My eyes close as you slide your hands over me and I let myself go.

But suddenly your blue eyes lose the cloudiness that had surrounded them for so very long. You stop kissing me and look on in horror as my skin stretches and reshapes in your minds eye, becoming me.

'Adam…?'

And I quickly crash my lips against yours, just wanting to see how it felt when you knew who I really am.

The most amazing kiss in the world.

But I'll never try it again.

I promise…

OOO

'Why would you do this?'

You're sobbing, curled up into a blanket.

'I wanted to help.'

'How, by making him die all over again?'

The words sting and I look away, guilty as Hell.

'I'm sorry.'

'Fuck you.'

OOO

'You have to trust me. Jackson died. You had amnesia Aaron. It was a terrible accident.'

But you look so broken, so confused.

You don't believe me; you don't trust me.

You think I'm lying.

Again.

OOO

We're waiting for the bus.

I'm me again and you're letting yourself trust me because it's the only way that you'll let yourself do this.

'I still love him…' You whisper awkwardly.

I smile.

'I know…'

OOO

And now you're sobbing, holding onto my hands tightly.

'Please, just let me stay here. I don't want to go back; I want to stay here. Please. Please. Please.'

My heart aches and I have to look away, ignore the pleading and the begging.

'Adam, don't let them take me away!'

You're shouting now, a crazed look in your eye and I'm crying now as well.

'We have to do this mate. You need to move on.'

'No, no, no! Stay with me! Stay with me! I'll love you Adam. I'll give you what you want, just please stay!'

You're truly insane with grief now, your entire body racking with shaky sobs and my head is spinning. I want to stay. I want to love you …

OOO

The bus arrives.

You close your eyes and hold me tight, you shivering against my body, your warm lips pressed against my neck.

You hear the doors open and the sound of people getting on and off.

'Here we go mate…'

OOO

You open your eyes.

We're sitting at the bust stop in Emmerdale, still holding each other.

You wince and look around in horror, memories and nightmares flashing before your eyes.

'I don't want to be here. Not without him.' You mumble, tears filling in those beautiful brown orbs.

I sigh and pull you to your feet, ignoring your glare.

'I told you I'd get you home. I told you the night we buried him that I'd help you get over this.'

'How? By pretending to be him? By taking advantage of the fact that I couldn't remember a thing? By pretending you loved me?' You hiss.

I look deep into your eyes and see nothing but hatred. I want to run, run away from your, run away from heartache.

But I promised, didn't I?

Fin