20 Ways to Annoy Your Hikari (a list of the essentials)

Bakura: If you're here and reading this, that means you wish to annoy your hikari to the fullest.

Marik: If so, then do any of these in any order at any time and these handy tips will let you succed in your ultimate goal:

Making your hikari's life a living hell.

1. Always hide your Millennium item. (a must)

2. Have multiple weapons. (household items such as a plunger, bleach, and toilet seats are OK)

3. When your hikari wants you to do something, ALWAYS make it diffclut. (i.e arguing, whining, punching, kicking, throwing things, yelling, and if you must, retreat to your soul room)

4. Keep your supply on candy and caffeine high for instant annoyance.

5. Torture your hikari. (A must)

6. Examples of above: Cutting, bruising, slapping, demeaning both verbally and physically, (If you have the brain power, mentally-we don't) and humilating on a public basis.

7. Do the opposite of whatever your hikari says. (i.e. like when Ryou said turn down the volume, Bakura turned the volume so high it cracked the windows and made the neighbors call the police for noise pollution)

8. Take your hikari VERY literal. (like when Malik told Marik to throw that away (reffering to the rotting carcass of a raccoon Marik brought in) Marik wrote down the word "that" and threw "that" in the trash)

9. ALWAYS refer to that damn Pharaoh and his gang out of their names. (A must)

Bakura's personal favorites: That damn Pharaoh (Atem), That hefer (Tea'), Cone Head (Tristan), and Blondie (Joey)

Marik's personal favorites: Ol' baka Pharaoh (Atem), That friendship bitch (Tea'), He who has no role anymore (Tristan), and Po' Boy (Joey). (no names are given for Yugi, better yet, don't even acknowledge him, for he is too short to be considered a human.)(that damn Pharaoh barely made it-by an inch)

10. If your hikari goes to school, always screw up his/her homework.

11. Better yet, lock up your hikari, go to school in their place, and just fuck up their reputation. (that way, they'll get suspended and that'll give you more time to annoy them)

12. If you have no ideas, just take a table or chair leg (please saw it off said chair/table first) and repeatedly hit the wall with it.

13. Or just not respond and see how long it takes before they threaten you (that damn Pharaoh) or say "You're not getting any if you don't talk"

Marik: 2 hours and 3 minutes (longest time)

Bakura: 1 hour and 52 minutes

14. If your hikari says you can't leave the house, leave anyway and don't come back until after midnight. (for extra annoyance, cause some Level 2 or higher chaos)

15. Or just leave, for no reason whatsoever.

16. Tell Pegasus your hikari wants his number. (give Pegasus your hikari his number for added effect)

17. Bakura's personal favorite: Sexually harass your hikari, then leave, come back whenever you feel you've made yourself as pitiful looking as possible (i.e. Cuts, bruises, bleeding and make sure you stay out long enough for believability) so when your hikari sees you they will immeadiately forget what they were mad at and help you. (not guaranteed to work every time)

18. Marik's personal favorite: Take the Millenniun Rod, threatening yoour hikari until they buy you lots of candy and other things you want.

19. Anal probe them (enough said)

20. Or just plain poke them in the exact same spot over and over again until the spot becomes purple. Or your hikari yells and you have to beat your hikari with a pillow. (whichever comes first-persists counts!)

Bakura: I hope you like our methods, but these are only 20 of the MANY ideas up our sleeve!

Marik: If so, review and we shall see about sending you more of our methods, you fool.