Author's Note: haiii. 8D
i decided to take a little break from my multi-chaptered narusasu to write MOAR DETHNOAT!! squeeeee
and i'm kind of out of ideas at the moment.
this sort of popped in my head when i was watching an episode, the one where Lawliettt flops out of his chair when he first gets any inkling of shinigami in his midst. well, i thought it was cute anyway.
it's fluffy.
3Squeak
Disclaimer: not mine.
The night L saw shinigami was a stressful one.
As a young child, the boy had always had a very active imagination. He was an expert at figuring things out, and even more of an expert and making things up. His eyes were large and deep, and incredibly hard to read, but there was always something going on beneath his cool, calculated gaze.
It was the only time Light had ever seen L's expression that contorted, gasping fearfully in the direction of the large, drab-colored death God. Her body was heavy-looking, bones tall and jagged, standing like a steel wall with a painted smile on her face. Her teeth were sharp, lips a pale shade of violet and skin as white as paper. The eyes were what startled L the most, slitted and yellow like a mangy cat.
L's expression was one deep rooted in fear, which was the strangest emotion Light had ever seen the black haired prodigy ever convey. His face reflected vapidness and confusion, and in that instant it was as if the whole world was coming undone at the seams. Light's world was L, and L's mind was being blown by a truly fantastic character that 10 percent of him had already thought existed.
"Shinigami."
To Light, himself and his alter-ego, Kira, were very different. There was no reason that Light couldn't appreciate L and befriend him, as much as Kira would detest it. Light had bottled away certain feelings when he realized they would get in the way of Kira's assisstance in the destruction of evil, which happened to be a genocide to wrack the world.
--
It was around three AM on the first night L had removed the handcuffs. Light couldn't sleep. He was slipping in and out of consciousness, dreaming fitfully and tossing so that the blankets were knotted around his ankles.
Earlier that day he had been on a "date" with Misa, the only reason for it being that the handcuffs had finally been taken off and she wanted alone time with Light. Trying to look as normal as possible, he had complied to a day of her incessant babble and lolita clothes, but instantly regretted it about five minutes in. He wouldn't deny that she was a very beautiful girl, but to her misfortune, she was a dumb one. It wasn't just her that didn't appeal to him; It was all women. They all held with them a general air of stupidity, which they seemed to take pride in and constantly presented Light with, (with the intent of impressing him). It made him sick. Even if the smartest, most gorgeous woman in the world approached him and asked him for coffee he would probably refuse, unless it benefited him in some way. Most likely, it wouldn't benefit him at all and just leave him feeling emptier than before, forcing him to realize the void he had created could only be filled by one person which he had already met and been confined with for months.
There was a soft knock at his door that stirred him from his own, currently over-stimulated mind. He lifted his body heavily off of his pillows and gazed at the entryway in confusion, trying to make sure if he heard right.
The knock came again, and, infuriated at Misa for disturbing his sleep, he plummeted back down on the bed with no intent to open the door and listen to her whine about being scared of the dark.
A third time, the knock, but this time it was accompanied by a small, quiet voice even further muffled by the wood. Light was certain Misa would make much more of a commotion, so he took her off the list of people who could possibly be calling on him so late.
This was one puzzle Light wouldn't be able to solve unless he opened the door, so he forced himself out from between the drab sheets and approached the situation slowly. His hand was on the knob and he opened the door a small crack, before flinging it carelessly to the side and furthering his perpetual state of bewilderment.
L was standing there in his boxers, looking warily left and right down the long, dark hall, wringing his hands.
"Ryuzaki? What are you doing here?"
His tone wasn't harsh, but laced with utter shock and bubbling with curiosity. Light couldn't possibly comprehend why L was here so late, and why he looked so harried in the gray glow of the rain-filled clouds spilling haplessly from Light's window. There was a moment where he felt it was so quiet his ears had suddenly ceased to function, but the silence was interrupted by a miffed looking L.
"Raito-kun? Can I come in?"
In reply, Light simply moved back to allow the other entry, and L graciously crept into the room, tired eyes blinking to adjust to his surroundings.
"What's wrong? Is it about the Kira case? Did you figure something out?" Light's voice sounded genuinely concerned, and any irked emotion L expected was missing. L moved to scratch his ankle with a bare foot, and shrugged placidly.
"Sort of..." and L trailed off, his voice swallowed by the peaceful dark around them.
"Well?" Light questioned, obviously even more perplexed then before. He didn't like it, being perplexed, but he did like L, and the idea of him in his room at three o'clock in the morning pleased him, so he decided to wait until the reason coaxed itself out of the strange intruder.
"Have you ever been afraid?" L asked timidly, as if he were dancing around the original question and was mildly embarrassed to admit why he was actually there. Light sat on the bed and thought about his answer carefully before speaking.
"Yes, I have."
L continued. "And have you ever been so afraid that only the company of people you know and slightly trust will diminish it?"
"You mean, like...Friends?" Light was smiling. He wondered for a moment or two if L could see it in the dark. His eyes were probably well adjusted to it, but sitting in front of a computer screen for twenty four hours a day could make anyone blind.
"Yes. And I only have one of those," L replied nervously.
Light quirked and eyebrow when he realized what had happened.
"Are you...Scared, Ryuzaki?"
"Very."
Light plopped down on the corner of the bed, moving some bedding to make room for L, who sunk down graciously onto the mattress.
"Of what?" Light persisted, stretching accompanied by an exhausted sounding yawn.
"Shinigami."
"Hn?" Light found that his ability to speak was lacking because the extreme ridiculousness of the situation was too much to bear. Offering an odd little chuckle, Light shifted awkwardly.
"I had a nightmare. There was that shinigami. She was trying to kill me. You were in it."
Light's smile broadened. L had dreams about him?
"I figured since you saved me in my nightmare, you would come to my aid out of my dreams as well," L said, chewing idly on his thumb and staring at the floor.
The rain had started outside. It hit the window in faint, little plops, before dripping down the flat surface in thin, almost untraceable tracks. A clap of thunder sounded and L flinched. L wasn't afraid of thunder, but it just happened to heighten his awareness of what he was actually afraid of. Light studied him humorously for a moment, before piling some blankets and some pillows on the floor by the bed for L to sleep on. Without saying anything else, or asking any more questions out of sheer embarrassment, L crawled into the sloppily arranged mass and Light crawled back into his bed.
Light was suddenly perplexed again by another thought that surfaced as he tried to get back to sleep.
"Ryuzaki?" he offered quietly, his tender voice muffled by the dark silence and the pitter-patter of the rain on the window.
"Raito-kun?" L responded just as tentatively.
"You barely sleep. I've only seen you force yourself to sleep when I'm tired. Why are you even here?"
There was a calm sigh only, but no answer for a while.
"I do sleep, when I can."
"And when is that?"
"I used to be able to fall asleep whenever I wanted...Every two days, every four days. I like naps. But then I adjusted to your schedule as a result of our imprisonment. Now I only sleep at night, and whenever you go to bed I go to bed too. It just seems natural to me. Only, there's a problem."
"Yes?"
"I'm lonely now."
Light felt goosebumps rise on his arms even though he was thoroughly covered with a blanket. L enjoyed his company, obviously, but he never thought he enjoyed it that much. It was at least much more than he let on.
Light thought about it for a moment, and answered dreamily.
"Me too."
There was a long pause, but both bodies knew that they were both awake in their respective positions.
"Raito-kun?"
"Hn?"
"Did you check?"
"Check for what..."
"Monsters."
"Where?"
"Under your bed."
"No."
"Then it's not safe. I'm 20 percent positive it's not safe for me to be on the floor."
There was another sharp clap of thunder, preceded by a jolt of lightning. L sat up straight, eyes shining and wide in the general gloom. Light remembered that face. It was from the night L met Ren. He had been truly frightened by her. Good thing he never met Ryuk.
Light shifted so that there was room for L on his bed. By now, he was accustomed to having another body in it, and even further accustomed to L's. L had slept in the same bed with him for a while now, and this wasn't any different.
But at the same time, it was. It wasn't forced or irritating. It might have even been some fucked up form of love, but if that thought crossed either mind, it refused to register.
L grabbed the sheets and pillow off the floor and set up camp next to Light. He pulled the blankets up to his chin and turned to the side, curling up in the fetal position so tightly his knees were next to his chin. His eyes were open and alert, flitting around nervously.
"Ryuzaki, there are no shinigami in here."
"But if you're Kira, there would be."
"If I were Kira, then why would you come in in the first place? Aren't you trying to avoid shinigami?"
"I want to believe that you're not /him/."
Light's laughter tinkled like bells against the walls, mingling with the rain. L took it as an invitation to shift closer, resting his head on Light's chest. Light curled his arm around L's shoulders as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Light's missing piece had been returned to him, and he finally figured out why he had been unable to get to sleep.
He missed L. He missed this.
Light shifted slightly to get more comfortable under the welcome weight and warmth of his friend, arch-nemesis, his...whatever, and gently entwined his own fingers in L's pale, cold extremities. Using another hand to gently stroke his hair, he leaned down and planted a tender, soft kiss on L's forehead.
"Don't worry. You won't have any more shinigami nightmares while I'm around."
/At least not yet./
The last thing Light felt before he drifted off into quiet oblivion was the resounding pang of guilt.