Maybe sometimes, when Naoto is alone (alone alone—as in, nobody within a two-mile radius), she will smile.
Of course, anybody she personally knows has to be far, far away, because if any of them ever saw her with such an expression, they would surely fall of cardiac arrest or maybe an aneurysm—hey, who knows. But when she is truly by herself, she can allow herself this luxury, because it is away from all the chaos where she can actually hear her thoughts and realize that yes, she does have things to smile about.
Nill, for instance—sweet, silent Nill. She thinks about how they all dote on her in their own little way, even Haine; he refuses to cower or flinch when she touches him. Nill is their angel, in a sense, just like her mutation suggests, because she has the capability to be the light in their otherwise darkened lives. Naoto has no real reason to smile about Haine, except for the way he is around Nill—different.
Badou makes her smile, too. Almost everything about Badou makes her smile, in retrospect, even the little things, like how attractive he looks with a cigarette glowing between his slightly opened lips, or with smoke masking his eyes or snaking up his face. Sometimes, in battle, when she is close enough, she can smell it lingering on his signature butt-ugly jacket, like a ghost threaded through the fibers; for some reason, it is comforting. Some unexplainable, fully random reason, a reason she is still searching for when she sneaks into his room at night just to bury her face in the jacket and calm her frazzled mind.
(She does not, in fact, allow the luxury of letting herself consider the idea of a romance. Absolutely preposterous.)
Even Bishop has his tendencies. Tendencies which she cannot identify, of course, but for some reason, thoughts of the quirky clergyman are pleasant. This time, she really doesn't know why.
Somehow, they all combine to make a family; nothing like the ones she lost so many eternities ago, nothing at all; but they are enough, different integers adding up to the same sum; a blend just wonderful enough to coax the corners of her lips to tilt towards the heavens.
Yes. I hate it, but I needed to write it. Because I love Naoto and her human moments, I really do.