(Renesmee's POV)
I reached up and touched my face. There they were. Tears. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he was leaving me. I stood there watching him pack his truck and I couldn't do anything about it. I had tried everything I could to get him to stay. I screamed, cried, and even apologized for what I had done. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't forgive me. Why he couldn't just stay and be with me. I hadn't killed anyone. I was clean in that aspect.
It started when I finally grew to my adult size. If that's what you could call it. This is how I'd remain. Most girls would be happy about staying seventeen for the rest of their lives. That part wasn't so bad. The worst part was that he couldn't see me the age I felt. I'd always been wiser than my age. I talked faster than any babies that I'd ever seen. So it shouldn't surprise him or anyone else that I would like boys earlier. Or at least one boy.
To tell the truth, I've been in love with Jacob Black since I was born. I've always know that we were meant to be. Everything about our relationship was perfect. I've always been safe and loved with him by my side. At least until today.
Today my Jacob was leaving. All because I couldn't respect his wishes. I'd knon that I loved him romantically now for about a year. I kept it bottled until a month when I decided to tell him exactly how I felt. I did this as easy as I could because I knew it would be hard for him. I knew he would believe it or the thought of it discusting. Technically speaking, I've only been alive for fourteen years. Mentally, I feel like I'm twenty-five.
As any Twenty-five wants, I wanted a guy. Someone to love and love me back. It was only natural that I wanted to be with Jacob. I just assumed that he might feel the same way and he was just holding it in. I don't think that I could have been more wrong.
I started out just as any human girl would. I sat him down and told him or shall I say showed him? Just as I've been doing since I was born, I put my hands to his head and showed him how I felt. The image that I made him see was pure enough. I showed him what I wanted. I wanted him to kiss me.
As soon as he realized what I wanted, I saw his face go from smiling to a face that was so full of shock and disgust that I quickly removed my hands from his head and sat back into my seat. It took him a couple of minutes, but he spoke what he was thinking. He did not feel the same way about me. He still thought of me as the young girl he once knew. In plain words: He did not love me that way.
I didn't take his words to heart the way he wanted me too. I thought that if he could see me as an older woman he would change his mind. Maybe if I'd been more mature and sexy he would love me. So, I began dressing differently and acting differently. Mom and Dad did not like that. Especially my dad who knew exactly what was going on inside my head.
The first thing that I wore in front of Jacob was this really nice black dress. I even wore high heels for the occasion. This new style of dress caught Jacob's attention the first time and I don't believe he liked what he saw. He told me that I was too made up and should take the dress off. I didn't look like a tramp or anything. I just borrowed a dress from Aunt Alice's closet. I soon noticed that he never stayed as much when I dressed that way. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.
You see, I'd started to think about things that weren't so pure when I was around Jacob Black. I wanted him to kiss me on the lips yes. But I didn't want him to stop there. I thought about something that would bring us together so completely. Yesterday, we were hanging out after our hunting trip and I started thinking about my newly founded thoughts. Apparently my face looked very interesting because Jacob asked what I was thinking about. Ever so honestly put my hand to his check and showed him where I had left off in my thoughts.
I wished I'd never done that. I wish I could take it back. The second I put the thought into his head, he got up and started to yell at me. He told me that what I asked for he couldn't do and that he thought I'd known how he felt. Listening to him, I thought that everything would be alright and that this was a scolding. Then I heard the words that almost broke me.
"I think that I need to leave for a while Renesmee. You need a new life. You need someone to hang out with your own age. Someone who you can fall in love with and will love you back."
And that's how I came to be here; In the front of his house begging him not to leave. As he was packing, my voice cracked as I said, "Please Jacob. Don't go. I promise. I'll never do it again. I'll be good. I'll respect your wishes. Just don't."
I could tell that my pain was hitting him. In fact I'm sure that it was hurting him. It didn't work though. As he packed the last bag into the car, I knew. I knew he was leaving me forever.
Tears started flowing down even harder and I couldn't talk. All I could do was listen. Slowly, Jacob walked up to me and said, "Alright. That's the last of it. Be safe Nessie. I'll call you when I get where I am going."
As I watched him drive away, I didn't know that he'd lied to me. That was the last time I'd seen Jacob or heard his voice. He never called when he reached his destination, he never let me know where he was. The only thing he left was the imprint upon my heart.