Wow. It's been a long time since I've posted a Crenny oneshot. Or anything, for that matter. Let's hope I've still got it.

First Time

Looking at you, holding my breath

For once in my life, I'm scared to death

I'm taking a chance, letting you inside

-Lifehouse, "First Time"

Craig tapped his foot nervously, checking his watch once again. He glanced around the empty bus stop where they'd agreed to meet.

Maybe he wasn't going to show. Maybe it would be better if he didn't. Craig didn't know if he should be disappointed or relieved. He'd been nervous, to say the least. His common sense told him he never should have agreed to meet some guy he met online. But he was just so fucking lonely that it seemed worth the risk.

In any case, the guy was over fifteen minutes late. Craig was freezing and feeling considerably less brave than he had been fifteen minutes earlier and he was ready to just give up and go home. He was preparing to do just that, when a voice from behind startled him.

"Craig Tucker?"

Craig spun around to see Kenny McCormick walking toward him, lowering his hood.

"Kenny?"

"You've got to be kidding me. Craig fucking Tucker?"

Craig, who was having a harder time putting two and two together, rubbed his frozen arms and stared at Kenny confusedly. "What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm here to meet you."

Craig cocked his head to the side. "Why would you be here to… Oh my God, it's you?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Craig. It's me."

"Oh my God."

"Calm down, Craig."

When he'd agreed to meet this guy, a thousand outcomes had gone through his head. This guy could be a fifty-year-old man. He could be a rapist. A serial killer. Hell, he could be a woman. The one possibility Craig hadn't considered was that it could be someone he already knew.

"Oh my God."

"I get it. You're surprised. Hell, I'm right with you there. I had no idea you were a fag."

"I'm not a…" Craig cringed, pulling at his hair. There wasn't any use denying it now. "Oh my fucking God, you're gonna tell everyone."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Tell them what? That I found out you're gay after soliciting you from a gay chatroom? That's a little self-incriminating, don't you think?"

Craig untangled his hands from his hair, letting out a small sigh. "That's true," he mumbled.

Kenny nodded. "Yeah. Trust me, your secret's safe with me."

"So…this never happened. No one has to find out about this. We just go back to our respective homes, and we agree that this never happened."

"Right," Kenny agreed. "This never happened."

"Never happened," Craig repeated, resolutely.

"Unless…"

Craig shook his head, his eyes wide. "No, Kenny. No unless."

Kenny shrugged. "Well, there's no reason the night has to end now. I mean, I don't have any other plans."

"Kenny, you're not suggesting…"

"I am," Kenny cut him off. "I am suggesting that. I mean, why not? We agreed to meet for a reason, didn't we?"

"No. Just…no. We go to school together. It's too weird."

"You know, I've never thought about it before, probably because I always thought of you as the unadventurous type," Kenny said, taking a step toward Craig, "but you're actually kind of hot."

Craig took a step back. "Well, you're not. I'm not interested."

Kenny grinned. "You're a little interested."

"I am not."

"You're curious at least. I can see it in your eyes."

"Kenny, I said no."

Kenny crossed his arms, still grinning smugly. "What, you have a better offer?"

"Well I…" His voice trailed off, and Kenny just smiled patiently, waiting for him to continue. Craig hesitated before licking his lips nervously. "It has to…It has to be at your house. My little sister is home."

"The lights are on," Craig observed, as they crossed Kenny's snow-covered lawn.

"It's eleven o'clock," Kenny said. "My mom and dad are watching Letterman."

"Your parents are home?"

"They're always home," Kenny replied. "They're unemployed."

"What are you gonna tell them?"

Kenny paused for a moment. "Well," he began. "I've found that when I lie to them, they never believe me, and they accuse me of being a delinquent."

"Yeah?"

"But when I tell them the truth, they still don't believe me, and they accuse me of being a smartass. So I usually go with that."

Craig frowned. "You're gonna tell your parents the truth?"

"Honesty's the best policy, right?" And with that, he shoved the door open and tugged Craig inside. "I'm home!"

"Where you been, Kenny?" his mom asked, twisting around on the couch to face him.

"Picking up a trick I met online," Kenny replied. "Turns out it was Craig from school. You remember Craig, right? Anyways, we're just gonna go to my room and fool around."

Craig swallowed hard. "Um. Hi."

Mrs. McCormick rolled her eyes, turning back to the T.V. "Very funny, Kenny. Why do you have to be such a goddamn smartass all the time?"

"You can take your shoes off," Kenny said, peeling of his own boots.

Craig nodded, toeing off his sneakers and standing awkwardly in the middle of Kenny's bedroom. Kenny stared at him from his seat on his bed, a worn mattress atop a rusty metal frame, layered in old quilts and afghans. He looked up at Craig like he was expecting something.

"So," Craig mumbled, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "This is your bedroom."

"This is it," Kenny agreed, staring up at Craig impatiently. "Are you gonna sit?"

"Oh, yeah," Craig muttered, glancing around the room. "Sit where?"

Kenny raised his eyebrows. "You're really new to this, aren't you?" He patted the seat beside him. "Sit, Craig."

Craig stiffened. "Right."

The dark-haired boy shuffled over to Kenny's bed and perched himself uncomfortably on the edge.

"You can move in a little closer if you'd like."

Craig inched toward Kenny, staring down at his lap the whole time.

"So," Kenny said, shrugging out of his parka. "What are you into?"

Craig wiped his palms on his jeans. "I don't know."

"I don't kiss on the lips. I hope that's cool."

"Um…okay."

"Are you always this articulate?"

"Only when I'm sitting on a bed next to a guy I just found out is gay."

"Just relax," Kenny soothed.

"I am relaxed. I'm relaxed," Craig mumbled.

He was having trouble finding anything intelligent to say. Not that it really mattered, because from the look Kenny was giving him, he wasn't all that interested in making conversation.

"So?" the blond said, staring at Craig expectantly.

"So what?" Craig asked.

"For God's sake, Craig. Take off your jacket. Stay a while."

Craig nodded, slipping his blue jacket off of his shoulders obediently. Kenny took the coat from the other boy, tossing it aside absently before leaning toward Craig and placing a kiss on the newly exposed skin of his neck. Craig shivered.

"Lay down," Kenny instructed.

Craig obeyed, scooting back on Kenny's bed before laying back, propping himself up on his elbows. Kenny swung a leg over him, straddling his hips, and leaned forward to attack Craig's neck. Craig moaned as he felt the blond's tongue make its way into his ear. He let his head fall onto Kenny's pillow, his eyes slipping shut.

"K-Kenny?" he said, his voice shuddering as the other boy began to nibble on his earlobe.

"Mm-hm?"

"Why d-don't you…kiss on the lips?"

"The last thing I want is for you to start thinking I'm your boyfriend or something," Kenny mumbled against Craig's jawbone.

"So you've never kissed a guy on the lips?"

"It's too intimate. Like Julia Roberts says in Pretty Woman."

"Didn't she play a prostitute?"

"Lift your arms for a second," Kenny replied.

Craig obeyed, and soon felt his T-shirt being tugged over his head. Kenny dove back down to his neck, his hands exploring Craig's now bare chest. Craig found his own hands weaving into Kenny's hair. It was softer than he expected, like it had just been washed. He tilted his head forward to take a small whiff. It smelled like peppermint.

The next thing he knew, Kenny's hands were abandoning his chest and tugging at his belt. He opened his eyes, his brain still foggy from the kissing and the smell of Kenny's hair. Kenny had managed to unclasp his belt before Craig could open his mouth to protest.

"W-wait," he choked out.

"What?" Kenny snapped, looking up at Craig.

"That's a little fast, don't you think?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "You really don't get the point of a booty call, do you?"

"Well, I've never…done this before."

"Obviously."

Craig sat up, pushing a frustrated Kenny off of him. "Can we just…talk?"

Kenny raised an eyebrow. "Talk?"

"Yeah."

The blond stared at him silently for a moment before reaching for Craig's shirt and shoving it at him.

"I think you should go home," he said.

Craig furrowed his brow in confusion. "What? Why?"

"This night isn't really going the way I'd planned. I think you should leave."

Craig slid off of Kenny's bed, stumbling to his feet. "Because I'm not putting out for you?"

"Look," Kenny said, scooting to the edge of his bed so his legs hung off the side. "Guys have asked me to try a lot of weird shit. Like, really weird shit. But there are three things I won't do. I don't kiss on the lips. I don't cuddle. And I don't talk."

Craig stood in front of Kenny's bed, clutching his T-shirt. "Okay, so you know exactly what you like. Congratulations. That's awesome for you. But this whole gay thing is really confusing for me. I didn't get on that chatroom looking for a hookup. I just wanted to talk to someone who understands how I feel."

Kenny swallowed hard, his gaze falling down to his lap. Craig took a seat on the floor in front of him, looking up to meet his eyes.

"Don't you ever wish you had someone you could talk to? Someone who gets you?"

Kenny sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "What do want to talk about?"

"When I was thirteen, I had a massive crush on Stan," Kenny said. "I'd always been attracted to guys before that, but I never saw a point in acting on it. I mean, why make things complicated with all that gay stuff when I could just go out with girls and pretend to be a normal guy?"

"But when it's one of your best friends, it's harder to ignore."

"Exactly. But I couldn't tell Stan I liked him. So I just stopped hanging out with him. That's when I started meeting guys online."

"Do you still like him?"

"Stan?" Kenny's eyes filled with an emotion Craig couldn't quite place. Shame, maybe. Or regret. "I don't know. I mean, he's okay."

"He's okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, he's, like, good-looking and stuff. Anyways, what about you? When did you know?"

"I think I've always known. I've never been interested in girls. But I never really faced it until I was eleven."

"What happened when you were eleven?"

"Well, I found this checklist in one of my mom's magazines. Thirteen signs that your man might be gay. I knew I didn't like girls. I knew I liked boys. But I was afraid to think of myself as 'gay'. And then I read this list, and not even half the shit on that list applied to me, so I thought, maybe I'm just confused…"

"And the fact that you smuggled your mom's Cosmo into your room instead of your dad's Playboy wasn't a big enough sign?"

"Shut up, it wasn't Cosmo."

"Cosmo, Redbook, whatever. A women's magazine is a women's magazine."

Craig crossed his arms. "Oh, yeah? And what filthy things does Kenny McCormick have hiding under his bed?"

Kenny shrugged. "You're in my bedroom. Why don't you take a look?"

"Maybe I will." Craig sat up so that he was on his knees in front of the blond. Kenny smirked.

"I like the way you look from this angle, Craig."

"Shut up, and get out of my way," Craig replied.

Kenny rolled his eyes and swung a leg over Craig's head as he hopped out of bed. He crouched down beside Craig, lifting up his mattress for the other boy.

"Let's see what we have here," Craig said, thrusting his hand beneath the mattress. It returned clutching a stack of magazines.

"Playboy," he read the top of the stack.

"For the articles," Kenny explained.

"No need to explain," Craig replied, flipping to the next magazine. "Penthouse."

"For the boobs," Kenny told him.

"What else?" Craig replied, tossing it aside. "Seventeen?"

"It has great hair-care tips. And a six-page photo spread of Robert Pattinson."

"Robert Pattinson is scurvy. Don't tell me you jack off to him."

"What's wrong? You're on Team Jacob?"

"I'm on Team Shut-the-Fuck-Up," Craig retorted. "Why the hell do you have a 2008 issue of Soap Digest?"

"Page fourteen," Kenny explained.

Craig flipped the magazine open. "Oh. Hello. Can they do that on Network TV?"

"Evidently. Because they did. For six straight minutes."

"Jesus…"

"And that, my friend, is what they call fan service."

"So what's it like?" Craig asked.

He and Kenny sat side-by-side on the floor, leaning back against Kenny's metal bed frame. Craig absentmindedly twisted his T-shirt in his hands, avoiding eye contact with Kenny, who'd been staring intently at his face for a good five minutes.

"What's what like?" Kenny asked, brushing a lock of hair off of Craig's forehead.

"You know. Sex. With a guy."

Kenny's eyes traveled down Craig's body and then back to his eyes. "You could've known," he replied curtly.

"Seriously though."

Kenny shrugged. "I don't know. It depends on the guy, I guess."

"When was your first time?"

Kenny got this faraway look in his eye as he thought back. "Well, I was fourteen. He was in college."

"Jeez."

"And I remember he was sort of pushy."

Craig snorted and Kenny sent him a sharp glare. He shrugged and let Kenny continue.

"We were in the back of his car," Kenny recalled.

"What was it like?"

"Really nice. It had four doors. And heated seats."

"Not the car, doofus. What was it like? Did it hurt?"

Kenny blushed. "Oh. Yeah. At first. I mean, he took it slow and everything, but…it was my first time. And I was fourteen and scared to death. And I guess it was over pretty quickly—at least that's what he kept muttering as he drove me home—but I just remember pressing my eyes closed while he was on me and telling myself it would be over soon. And then when it was, he took me home and I took a shower and went to bed."

"That sounds horrible."

"Well it wasn't horrible. I mean, I liked it. I was ashamed by how much I liked it, actually."

Craig shook his head. "It still sounds awful."

Kenny shrugged. "You get used to it."

"I don't understand the appeal of Jake Gyllenhaal."

Kenny shrugged. "I don't know. He's pretty hot."

"You know who I think is cute? That guy from the Arby's commercial. The 'Good Mood Food' guy. Is that weird?"

They were sitting on Kenny's bed now, face to face. They both sat cross-legged, and Craig had snagged Kenny's only pillow and had it nestled in his lap, tracing patterns into it with his finger. Kenny had his hands on his knees, and seemed to be content just watching Craig.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Kenny asked.

"Not really. Have you?"

Kenny laughed. "God, no."

Craig sighed. "I thought I did once."

"Really?" Kenny said, looking far too interested. "Do tell."

"It was last year. His name was Logan. He went to Davenport. We met at the library."

"How romantic," Kenny deadpanned.

"He went there every day after school. So I started going there every day too, just to look at him. And one day he asked me to help him find a book and we started talking. Eventually we started hanging out every day after school, and then we started hanging out at his house on the weekends. We'd play video games together and we'd sit really close. He always looked really happy to see me. And he gave me one of his old jackets. I guess I just read too much into things."

"So what happened?" Kenny asked, the teasing smile long gone from his face.

"We went to see a movie one night, and when it was over, when we got to my house, I kissed him goodnight. Like an idiot."

"What did he do?"

"He pushed me away and called me a fag. Then he told his friends and they cornered me outside the library the next day and beat the shit out of me."

Kenny cringed. "That's the saddest story I've ever heard."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Go ahead and make fun of me."

"No, Craig. Seriously, that's, like, heartbreaking."

"I guess."

"Seriously fucking sad," Kenny murmured, scooting forward and pulling Craig into a tight embrace. Craig welcomed the hug, his head falling easily onto Kenny's shoulder. He closed his eyes for a moment and let himself be overcome by the warmth and the smell of peppermint.

"Were you scared?"

They were laying back on Kenny's bed now, Craig's head nestled into Kenny's neck and their legs tangled together, and Kenny's hand was stroking Craig's hair.

"Huh?"

"Last year, when you kissed that Logan guy. Like, right before you went for it, did you panic?"

"I was scared shitless."

"I've never been able to do that," Kenny murmured. "Lay it all on the line."

"The greater the risk, the greater the reward, right? Or, in my case, rejection and thorough ass-kicking."

"You know, if I had a boyfriend—I mean, if I were the kind of guy who wanted one—I think I'd want him to be like you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And what kind of guy am I, exactly? The brooding sensitive type?"

"A guy who takes risks. Someone who doesn't push people away."

"Hm. I think I'd want a guy with money."

Kenny laughed. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep. I need me a sugar daddy," Craig murmured, his hand slipping under Kenny's shirt.

"Well, good luck with that. What are you doing?"

"Taking your shirt off."

"Okay. Why?"

Craig flipped over so he was straddling Kenny's lap and tugged him into sitting position. "Because it's completely unfair that I'm still sitting here shirtless and you've been fully-clothed all night."

"Okay then," Kenny replied, lifting his arms to make the job easier.

Craig stripped the article away, tossing it aside before dipping down to suck at Kenny's neck. Kenny hummed softly and tipped his head back, exposing more of his neck for Craig.

"Mm. Did you ever…kiss another guy…besides him?"

"Once," Craig replied between nips. "In junior high. At summer camp. In a gazebo. His name was Tyler."

"Were you nervous…that time?"

"Yes."

"Did he kiss you back?"

"Yes."

"Was it good?"

Craig smiled against Kenny's throat. "It was sweet. And exciting. And beautiful." Craig abandoned Kenny's neck, leaning back far enough to look him in the eye. "And then a camp counselor caught us and we both got sent home early."

Kenny laughed. "Not a gay-friendly summer camp?"

"It was a church camp."

Kenny grinned, brushing a lock of hair out of Craig's eyes and studying his face.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Craig asked, turning his face away.

"Doing what?"

"Staring at me like that."

Kenny grabbed Craig by the chin, turning his head back to look at him. "Because you're nice to look at."

Craig blinked. "I am?"

Kenny nodded. "And I've been thinking about it, and I think I'm gonna go for it."

"Go for…?"

Before he could finish his sentence, Kenny tightened his grip on Craig's chin and pulled him forward until their lips crashed together. Craig's eyes widened in surprise as Kenny's slipped shut and Craig watched in fascination at how the other boy's eyebrows furrowed in concentration. His lips moved experimentally against Craig's for a few seconds before he pulled back, still clutching Craig's chin. Kenny opened his eyes, licking his lips thoughtfully.

"So?" Craig asked nervously.

"Your lips taste like oranges," Kenny observed.

Craig wasn't sure if that was good or bad. "Was it worth the risk?" he questioned.

Kenny shrugged. "I like oranges."

"Oh. Okay." Craig quickly decided that this was a good enough answer before diving forward and capturing the blond's lips once again.

Craig blinked in the first few rays of sunlight and tried to make sense of his unfamiliar surroundings. It took him a few minutes to realize that the worn-out mattress he lay on was Kenny McCormick's bed, and the firm surface where his head rested was Kenny's bare shoulder.

The boy beneath him stirred slightly as Craig shifted to get a good look at his face. He usually found people to have a sort of peaceful innocence about them while they slept. Kenny didn't have that. He was biting lightly at the corner of his bottom lip, his mouth curled into a self-satisfied smile. It was the kind of expression that always made Craig think that Kenny was a bit of an asshole, but now he somehow found it endearing.

It was funny. He'd known Kenny practically his whole life—they'd gone to school together since kindergarten—but Craig had never felt any sort of attraction to him. But things were different now. Kenny didn't look any different. He was still pale and skinny, and he had those dark purpling circles under his deep-sunken eyes. The only difference was that now, when Craig looked at him, he saw something truly beautiful. Something he doubted anyone had ever seen in Kenny before.

He wondered if anyone had ever really gotten a good look at Kenny McCormick.

Craig sighed, trying to be quiet as he sat up and scooted off of Kenny's bed. He re-buckled his belt, still unfastened from Kenny's failed attempt to get in his pants. He shuffled around the messy floor in search of his shirt, tugging it over his head once he'd found it.

"Are you leaving?"

Craig spun around to see Kenny sitting up in his bed, scratching sleepily at that messy head of hair.

"My parents will freak out if I'm not there when they wake up."

Kenny rubbed his eye. "Kay."

Craig located his sneakers and sat down on the floor to put them on.

"It's weird," Kenny murmured, stifling a yawn.

"What is?" Craig asked, tying his shoe.

"That we slept together. I mean, that we just…slept."

"That's an unusual occurrence?"

"In this bed it is."

"Right," Craig said, snatching his coat up off the floor and standing up. "Well, I'll see you at school, I guess."

He stood there awkwardly for a moment, waiting for Kenny to say something. When he didn't, Craig turned to the door, wiggling the knob before he remembered it was locked. He twisted the lock, and was about to open the door when Kenny stopped him.

"Craig, wait!"

Craig pinched his eyes shut, fighting back a smile before turning around. Kenny was on his feet now, making his way across the room to Craig.

"I forgot to tell you something," Kenny said, as they stood face-to-face in front of the door.

"Uh huh?"

Kenny leaned forward and gave Craig a quick kiss on the lips before pulling back and smoothing down the front of Craig's shirt affectionately.

"Thank you," he said. "For being my first."

One of my friends has a giant crush on the Arby's "Good Mood Food" guy. I think it's kind of hilarious, but maybe that's only funny to me.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading.

-Janine