愛し Means I Love You

by CambionKaaera

Based in a Japanese high school setting, Ayano Aishi, a young high school student, has never felt any true emotions before she bumps into a upperclassman named Taro Yamada, who is in his final year of high school. Ayano cannot believe her luck when she begins to fall 'head over heels' for the boy. Though, she comes to terms with the realisation of a girl falling for her Senpai.

1. preview

愛し means I love you

Preview

For as long as I could remember, I've never been able to feel any emotions. Happiness, sadness, love or grief. I've always been this empty shell of a young girl. Feeling like I'm nothing more than an apparition, my dreams and desires never existed.

"Ayano...?"

I don't know why I'd suddenly start falling for this upperclassman, I've only ever bumped into him once in my entire life at this school, I've seen him around the school but never so close. I remember that day, the day when I first bumped into him, his hair was a perfect cut and his eyes were like a lullaby.

"So…"

I remember hearing him apologise after we bumped into each other, both dropping our books, but only I fell to the ground. I must admit, it was my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going, I turned a corner only to have him bump into me. He helped me back onto my feet again, allowing me to grasp a closer look at his figure.

"This entire time…"

I remember him asking me if I was alright, I nodded, of course, keeping my head low and grasping my own hands, that emotion. That was the first time I have ever felt any emotions, I was equivocal on the matter, I didn't know what it was at first.

"it…"

His benevolent manner, it was mature and warming, I never knew what it was like, to feel anything. But he, he made my curiosity of those feelings change, he made me feel human. When I returned home to my bed, I remember finding a note on the counter top, it was from mother and father. They explained their absence, meaning I'd deal with this 'issue' alone.

"you…how could you?!"

It was only after reading a few of my mother's old worn books that I came across something, a term that I dreaded, a word I was certain I would never experience. The evidence, the study, I searched far and wide for anything else, it's not that I didn't want to feel that way, it's not that I hated the feeling, I just wanted confirmation.

"Did… did you feel any remorse to what you were doing?"

I remember spending a whole night searching, checking, scrambling for answers. This was it, this was the confirmation I needed, the feeling I started to incubate inside of my soul. The next day, I remember meeting his childhood friend, scolding him in front of the school. I ended up feeling ambivalent about her, I knew that she liked him, being nothing more than a typical tsundere girl, first they become grumpy and aggressive, but it's only a wall to hide their true feelings.

"OR DID YOU JUST NOT CARE!?"