xIsisx: This is my first attempt at angst... And I liked writing it!
This is from Ryou's POV to Bakura
-
--
---
You were the voice inside my head. The one that haunted me and scarred me for life. I couldn't talk back, so I listened to you hopelessly, and your words changed me, but it wasn't what you wanted. You tore me up to ribbons in the wind, fluttering and wandering, but it didn't have the effect you wanted. See. Here's the thing. I don't care. I never did. You thought I did, but I didn't.
I remembered the day when fate first led me to you. And within my mind, the first thing you said to me was you're broken…
That's what you think, isn't it? That's what everyone thinks. Years of my life, I've had people try to help me, somehow they've convinced themselves that they're my saviors. Just leave me alone. I can't stand your pitying looks, the expression on your face when you talk to me. But I force myself to smile a false smile and live on to another tomorrow.
All this time, you were still inside my head, calling me weak, broken, lost, confused, too innocent, helpless…
The voice inside my head, you're wrong. I'm not weak or helpless, and I'm not as innocent as everyone believes me to be. I'm not an angel. I'm not pure. But I'll put on my daily facades again and listened to the lies again for one more day. I won't break. I'm not going to fall and crawl on my hands. You think I would've by now, but I won't, because I'm not helpless.
When they look into my eyes, can they see me? Do they not feel the anger inside me? They think they're right about everything, don't they?
Well, they are wrong. You can't judge a book by its cover, you got to learn and feel what's inside. For every lie I hear, I cut myself another wound. That's why I look so hurt. But inside of the book, I've become immune to the pain. So I cut and cut again. Watching the crimson lies flow out of me, only to be replaced again. I'm not innocent.
My scars healed over and over again countless times. Still some of the cuts still drip blood, too deep for time to heal anymore. You made them, you didn't cut me, you tore me up. I'm senseless to the pain. So you hurt the people around me, trying to get to me. That's when I opened my eyes, and started to feel and understand.
No longer were you the harmless voice inside of me. You became me. Taking my name, faking my identity. But no matter how many times you push me, I'll stand up and rise again. I'm not going to kiss the ground. I'll fight you to the very end.
Once you held a knife to my throat and told me, once again, that I was broken.
Then I laughed. I laughed and I laughed once more. I'm not broken. So then you, you laughed at me. A sound to chill my bones. But I won't break.
I can't be broken if I'm already shattered. Your eyes flash and you press the knife closer. One more scar.
There's a difference between broken and shattered. When something breaks, you can pick it up and repair it again. When something shatters, it's gone.
Yes, that's what I am. I don't exist, I've gone astray. To be replaced by a program that never gives up. But I'll tell you something. You're broken.
You heard me right. You're the one that's broken. Don't deny it, I know the truth. You toss in your sleep and I listen to your memories. I can feel that you still have your pain. You haven't given up and become resistant to it all, like I have. So there's hope for you to be mended once more. And, I, well, I'm shattered. When a mirror shatters, you can put it back together, but you'll never see your true reflection again.
Just like me. You won't ever see me again.
But I can still see you. Disjointed, yes, but I can still see you. That's what broken means. You're right though, I was once broken, but I gave it all up and I fell and I shattered. Broken, shattered by a storm.
Shattered has the ability to destroy. Broken has the ability to mend. No matter what you or anyone else believes, you're not the destroyer. I am. I destroyed everything and everyone around me. It wasn't you who broke down the walls of my world, it was me. And me alone.
And you, you fixed the walls, didn't you know? You were the one who turned my world when it became upside-down. Though you didn't realize it. I've convinced everyone, even you, that you were the one who annihilated me. At times, I believed that myself, but then I look back again and faced the demon of a truth. The only monster I saw was me, and me and nobody else. Then I woke up to a faceful of ice cold water, the realization that it was me. I did this to myself.
Then slowly, as I inched forward, I knew that you helped me. Waking up my emotions when they fell asleep, bringing me closer to the ones around me instead of turning a back to them. You hurt me, but instead of feeling pain, I felt my mind slip back into the world of living. You did all that without knowing it. Though broken, you gradually put together the shattered pieces of something that was once me.
But, I'll admit, sometimes you were just too ruthless and was simply too much, and then, because of you, I found the energy to stop you, restrain you. Even if it was just for a little while, it was something. I know you ponder how I do this, well, I am shattered, and can only destroy. I used that to my advantage. So you see, I'm not weak.
Before you slip back into the shadows again, let me just say this. Thank you.
Shattered and broken. We'll put together the pieces of the soul and ride off to the future.
---
--
-
END
xIsisx: ˆ-ˆ
Ryou: You just totally ruined the mood! I was trying to have a moment there!
xIsisx: ˆ-ˆ
Ryou: -mutters threats under his breath-
xIsisx: ˆ-ˆ
Ryou: -slaps Isis-
xIsisx: Thanks Ryou! I thought my face was gonna be stuck like that forever!
Everyone Else: -.-;