Shattered Hearts

It had been two years since Tifa had seen Cloud. She wondered how it had all gone so wrong. No, she knew how it had. It was their lack of courage which meant they never faced how much they meant to each other until it was too late. It was missed opportunities until she found him at Midgar.

Tifa remembered the well, how happy she was that Cloud had finally asked to see her. And then she found out her crush was leaving for Midgar. She was devastated and asked for a promise, which looking back on it, obviously made him feel he wasn't worthy of her. But Cloud had always been the one she wanted.

Tifa remembered the Nibelheim disaster. Cloud feeling that she'd not respect him hid behind the mask of an ordinary trooper. She hadn't realised Cloud was there at the time, but considering how quickly he'd been shooed away she expected her dad had.

She had flounced around the guard, not realising it was Cloud. She felt humiliated thinking of it now. But she wished she known at the time that her hero had been in standing front of her. The one person who got to the mountain in time to prevent her 'fall'. If it hadn't been for Cloud chasing after her, she wouldn't have been out in a coma, she'd have been dead.

She talked a lot to Zack, and Zack had said he'd let Cloud know. And he probably would have, except that night Sephiroth went mad, destroying their second chance at each other. Of course Cloud, knowing him, probably felt she was making passes at Zack.

Then when she finally had the courage, there was Aeris, who loved Cloud just as much as she had, and neither Aeris nor her wanted to get in the others way. Both claiming that they didn't love Cloud, in such a way as to say, they did.

Of course Cloud went for her feeling that Tifa didn't love him, and that Aeris did. A girl who seemed interested in him. A girl who enjoyed it and allowed herself to show her emotions. But even she was not open enough. She was more flirty than Tifa but she could be interpreted as an over-effusive friend.

Then of course there was Yuffie, the ninja who carried her heart on her sleeve. She was sometimes cheerfully amoral, but her aims were usually noble. Stealing the materia was for the the good of her homeland. Stealing it then was to get Cloud's attention. It was lucky she had been four years younger. She had admitted her attraction to Cloud fully. But then if she had been four years older she'd probably have Cloud keeping the act up around her too.

Tifa felt that if only she had the courage to tell him sooner none of this would have happened. But when she finally found the courage to finally do so, she only had her worst fears were confirmed. Not that he was in love with Aeris, that she could have understood and coped with, but he couldn't believe that she really loved him. That had hurt her more than anything else could.

"You love me. That's a crock." Cloud flatly stated, not believing her declaration for one second. "You're only nice to me out of guilt, about how badly you treated me when I was younger. And there's no way to base a relationship on that. Look what happened to Cid and Shera."

While it was true Tifa felt guilty about how she had treated Cloud back then, it was because she was scared of her own feelings. She hadn't been a real friend to him, but she knew she had wanted to be. But how dare he compare them to Cid and Shera, who had nearly lost each other through their own self-loathing. Until Cid had found two things. One was that Shera had been right about the malfunction, Another was the spear Venus Gospel.

"They still love each other." Tifa protested hotly, but the accusation of guilt had made her so angry she carried on regardless. "And if you don't want a relationship based on guilt, do you think Aeris would?"

Both of them felt that that was hitting below the belt. But Tifa hadn't been expecting his retaliation. "At least she loved me."

"Maybe all she loved was the Zack disguise. After all he was her boyfriend." Tifa knew this was a slur on Aeris, but she was extremely angry with Cloud, "It's hardly surprising we don't love the real you, if you don't show him to us. About the only girl you truly let close was Yuffie, and she likes you as well. She knows the real you, apart from your total insanity."

"Total insanity?" Cloud questioned, feeling Tifa had gone too far.

"The fact that despite what everyone says, you thought you weren't worth anything." Tifa almost screamed, lost in rage. Then coldly, "I didn't believe you then. I do now."

And both their hearts break at that. The love they have held in secret for each other shatters beyond all repair. Two children always too scared to trust the other with their secrets end up breaking the hearts of the very people they should have grown strong with.