A/N: Right, so. This is a joke that went way too far
Rated T for the amount of cursing needed to properly convey my self-hatred
"Don't you think the boss is acting… odd?"
"How d'ya mean?"
"He's just been sitting there at his desk."
Orbot muttered, fingers gripping at the wall the two were peering behind. Not that a break time was anything unusual, because Dr. Eggman certainly did have his lazy points; something here was just suspiciously… amiss. For one, they hadn't had insults hurled mercilessly at them in close to eight hours, which is nothing to speak for the fact that it had also been a whole day since he'd chosen to physically abuse his lackeys in dim hope of coping with his increasingly recurring inferiority complex.
Top it off with the events of that morning (if that ungodly hour could be called morning), when he'd woken abruptly and scuttled to his office in a rush, and you have two (or apparently one) very puzzled, lowest-key-concerned robots staring at a silent, brooding back in awe. Eggman was indeed living up to Orbot's description too, shoulders periodically tense, periodically slumped, and focus entirely directed at what looked like a sheet of paper before him. The boys were locked out not too long ago (he left the door cracked after returning with coffee some time in the last half hour), so Orbot couldn't be sure if it was something he'd received that was bothering him, or if he was writing the essay of his life.
"Mmmmm. I dunno, I mean- he could just be having a really intense staring match."
"With a sheet of paper, Cubot?"
Orbot held a hand out to stop the other from replying, since he knew the general direction his response would go.
"Perhaps we should do some investigating."
"Or we could try to figure out what's going on!"
Amy yawned, putting down her clipboard and pen, and rubbed harshly at the bags under her eyes. Getting up early isn't usually rough, when you live on an island with nothing for a job or responsibilities except sporadic vigilante justice, but it was a late night last night. She was trying to piece together a practical plan of action for Sonic's birthday party tomorrow. Having usurped the role straight from the meaty fingers of Knuckles, because no, she had to be sure it was flawless. Not only because Sonic's humble ass deserved thought and consideration on his big day, but also because now she more or less had something to prove. And Tails couldn't get started without the preliminary planning. So, that meant no sleep, maximum caffeine, and a persistently aching left thigh borne from inactivity and bad carbonation consumption choices.
Looking over the details for the hundredth time (and determining that she'd been processing the same thing for too long and it was impossible to actually see the words she'd written until they were no longer fresh in her mind), Amy hummed. Her party was basically the best it could be, not to toot any horns. Thus, with a mighty stretch and a grumbled "let's get 'er done," she was up and dragging her undead body to Tails' workshop.
…'Course, usually on the way there she didn't find herself almost passed out on the ground. How did she get on the ground? There was something making a lot noise and it was grating on her nerves.
Suddenly there were cold fingers gripped tight around her biceps, forcing her to exist vertically again, to which she wasn't sure if she was really grateful or not. Horizontal was pretty nice. The sensory overload of too many different sounds and physical sensations while she was barely holding herself on this plane was making her very crabby very fast, though.
"Oh my- GOD, oh my God, move the f-" She hissed mindlessly, worming violently away from whatever was holding her and nearly flinging into the sand again. An instinctive arm flew out to summon her hammer, but before that mess could get started, she actually stopped and used her eyes for a second. Eggman's flunkies, hands held placatingly in the air by their heads, were floating kind of a distance away now (quivering, if she cared to process detail).
...What?
"What," she thoughtfully articulated.
"T-terribly sorry, we didn't mean to… frighten you? We just wanted to ask a few questions, if you might have the time." Orbot spoke carefully, taking note of the dark circles under the other's eyes. "Yeah, Eggman's being weird and we thought you might be able to help us figure it out!" Cubot piped up. Apparently deeming the threat of being smashed to pieces less existent, he floated a bit closer. Amy, of course, wasn't going to pull her death weapon out on a couple of bots looking for help, so after a brief moment to mentally sift through their words, the tension seeped from her shoulders and she sighed.
"Oh. Uhh. Okay. Just- give me a minute. I need to run this thing to Tails before I fall for the sand again." Or fucking die, she thought. Her words came out kind of fumbled, to no one's surprise. It was very apparent she hadn't slept much. With an almighty huff, Amy trailed around, brows furrowed, in search of her fallen notepaper.
The two shared a glance and awkwardly followed after her. They were going to approach Tails anyways, so it wasn't really a problem.
"Oh, hey Amy. Got that plan all finished up?" Tails looked away from his book, eyebrows inching up in surprise at the trio. That face spoke for itself.
"They need help with Eggman or something again. I just wanted to get this to you first." Amy offered, inviting herself in and handing off her masterpiece. She looked pretty proud. The power of self-assurance was quite capable of providing momentary energy spikes.
Given the fact that sunrise was an hour ago tops, Tails read maybe two lines and set it down. "Ah, okay. Well I'll look this over in a few and get to building. Kinda not ready to think just yet. Coffee's not even done." A pause. "You want any?"
Amy grimaced and shook her head.
"Kay." He nodded, turning his attention to the two floating a socially appropriate distance away. "So, uh… what's the deal with you two? Eggman's missing, you said?"
"No. He's just acting very strange. We were wondering if you might have any clues why?" Orbot placed a silencing hand on Cubot's head as he spoke. Tails perked up a bit, interest piqued. "Weird? Weird how?"
"He's all quiet. And he's just been moping in his office! I haven't been kicked into a wall since yesterday!" Cubot said, sounding weirdly affronted. Amy and Tails looked really worried now. "You uh… You don't think he's doing that thing where he gets depressed and quits being evil again, do you?" The fox muttered, half to himself, half to the rest of the room. "It wouldn't be good if Sonic went into another funk right before his birthday…"
Amy groaned, running a suffering hand down her face. "Oh, please. Not again."
Orbot blinked and took a moment to compute. Sonic's birthday. That was a significant event, so it would make sense if this had some connection to that, right? Easily a plausible option.
"Naw, no way. He wouldn't do that again, right Orbot?"
"No, I don't believe so. This is different. When is Sonic's birthday?"
Amy and Tails visibly withered, inwardly thanking fuck like never before. "Tomorrow. We're planning… wait. You're not gonna use that knowledge to foil his day, right? Like, I guess if you are, that's fine, but I'll smash you." She tacked on the threat, realizing a little belatedly that her tired mind was letting her divulge too much, probably. Seemed effective, at least. "Wouldn't you know that anyways? 'Cause come to think of it, it'd be weirder if he didn't try to interfere."
The two robots, now slightly farther away than before, shook their heads.
"I had no idea! Y'don't think this is what's got Dr. Eggman all weird, do you?"
Orbot considered his companion. "I'm not sure, but it's certainly a possibility. We might have to keep searching for information." Tails and Amy weren't nearly awake enough to consider politely looking away from them (whether or not they would), so they just kind of stared at the two deliberating.
"Well, anyways. You know how it is. Don't come crash Sonic's party tomorrow, please. Good luck figuring out what's wrong with Eggman." Tails waved a shooing hand, dismissing them. "And Amy, you go home and get some sleep." The trio nodded and left, Cubot shooting a few thanks towards the boy, Orbot wishing he hadn't made it weird by being overly friendly with the enemy. On the way out, he could have sworn he'd heard Amy mutter something like "god bless america" before their paths split, but since he had no worldly idea what an 'america' was, he let it go.
"Sonic!"
Ugh. What the fuck o'clock is it. Sonic stretched lazily and rolled over in his hammock, eyes blinking open sluggishly. He wasn't up late or anything, but some days are just sleep-til-noon days. And he was unconsciously prepared to indulge in a prime sleep-til-noon day, when he was so rudely woken up.
"Um… Sonic?"
Right, okay. Wakefulness. Attention.
"What?" Then realized there was a metallic face about 3 inches from his own and jolted, swinging the hammock back on accident and knocking into the other.
Several voices could be heard grumbling a fair distance away. Sonic pulled himself to his feet irritably, rubbing at his head. "Dude, ever heard of personal space? Jeez, who just gets that close to someone asleep…"
"Sorry to bother you, but this is really important." The red bot interjected, recovering from the impact and easily dismissing the hedgehog's disgruntlement. A mental note was made that 'really important' was an exaggeration, but whatever got Sonic's attention. Cubot didn't… say anything, after being knocked to the ground, so that was weird. Must have knocked something wrong. Orbot would worry about that in a minute.
Sonic stared expectantly at him for all of 10 seconds before crossing his arms and sighing. "All right. Sooo? What's so important?"
"Dr. Eggman has been acting strange all day. Well, perhaps even since last night. I wasn't paying that much attention at the time. He woke up before the sun was even up and locked himself in his office. It's… really unusual behavior, for him. He barely even acknowledged us. Which isn't necessarily strange in another context, but in this context it's really quite jarri-"
"Okay, okay- Got it." Sonic cut him off, sensing a rambling change in conversational direction. He didn't really want to listen to the shit the scientist did to his companions. "Egghead's being weird. What's the problem with that? Maybe he just had a bad dream or something." Cubot, after a weird lapse that might have been unnerving if anyone had paid attention, suddenly sprung to life behind Orbot. He kind of flailed his arms about, but it seemed like his voice chip was malfunctioning, because all he could do was try to mime what he wanted to convey. Sonic cared approximately not.
Orbot glanced back and shrugged his shoulders. Not like he wasn't already doing all the talking. "Well, it's true he's locked himself away before. Usually it's to concentrate on his latest evil project, though. When we looked in, he was staring at a sheet of paper on his desk. He didn't do much more than that for an hour."
"You just… watched him for an hour? Wh... no, anyways. Whatever. You do you." He raised his hands, not caring to process that. "That is pretty weird, even for a weirdo like him. So... like, what do you want me to do about it?"
"We just wanted to know if you might have any clue what's gotten him like this? Tails and Amy said your birthday was tomorrow, which… could be what this is about. But I'm still unsure. He usually would have boasted his plan to us by now." Orbot slumped slightly. Talking about it was reinforcing how odd the situation was, and it was making him slightly uncomfortable.
Something seemed to dawn on Sonic, his eyes opening a little more and his shoulders hunching up just a bit shy of natural. This... couldn't be about yesterday, could it? No way. It's not like it was the first time something like that had... Suddenly he was a little nervous.
"Wha… Uh… You guys talked to Tails? And Amy?"
Orbot nodded, nearly adding more redundant words to the mess, but cut himself off and narrowed his optics at the other. The hedgehog's body language was tenser, and his voice came off slightly more forced than a moment ago.
"Do you… know something?"
Sonic, of course, wasn't very pleased that he was immediately seen through. But fuck if he'd ever admit it. Shifting to a new, more patented Cool Guy pose, he cleared his throat and tried again. "No. I really can't imagine why Eggface would be out of sorts like this. Or. I dunno. Maybe he had a nightmare about not receiving his tax returns. Or he's deep in thought about his long lost father who never accepted him."
Orbot honestly looked seconds away from cutting in with some kind of criticism, but Cubot (who had been heatedly trying to draw attention to himself throughout the piece of the conversation he was conscious for) knocked him aside. Whatever gestures he was trying to make though, Sonic really didn't care, because really he just didn't want to be here anymore? Like, suddenly running and being awake sounded really fucking good.
"Well, whatever. Good luck with curing Egghead's depression guys, I'm off-"
…
"That was very suspicious, don't you think, Cubot?" Orbot muttered, picking himself up. Cubot nodded and gestured towards his back. The other caught on and floated around, opening his upper operation hatch and readjusting the voice chip.
"I suppose we could just go back to the lair and ask."
"Why didn't we do that before?"
"If I can avoid confrontation, I will."
A groan. No, that wasn't right. It was worded too weirdly. What if he took it the wrong way? No, no, no, no. For what felt like the billionth time, Eggman erased the line. God. Maybe it wasn't even worth it. Might as well just go right up to his damn doorstep and-
Nnnnooo. Couldn't do that. His heart wasn't ready. It had to be here, in his personal controlled environment, where he could feel as confident and comfortable as the world would allow for. Eggman dropped the pencil, holding his head in his hands. Maybe he could just forget about the dream and go on with his life. But… now he knew. It's now or never. He knew that. He got it.
In all honesty, he'd re-written this letter at least twelve times by now. He didn't even need to keep editing it, as his normal, level-headed self would be capable of comprehending. But he was nervous, and when he wasn't writing, he was just worrying. Another groan. If only he hadn't had that dream.
No, really it would have happened eventually, regardless of the dream. They've been building up to this. Every little interaction, every scheme-turned-buddy op, every foiled plan, and every triumphant grin on Sonic's stupid blue face. His blood boiled abruptly, and he wasn't entirely sure what percentage was anger and what was embarrassment.
"Uurrrk….Confound it! Why is this so hard!?"
Maybe because you fell for your goddamn blue hedgehog arch-nemesis, genius, his brain supplied.
Right, fuck that. Instead of dwelling on the matter any longer, he simply folded up what he had, stuffed it in a nearby envelope, and leaned back in his chair. A healthy few seconds with his hands resolutely on his face, and Eggman's stomach rumbled. Okay. Eat something, then send Orbot and Cubot off with the letter.
It was kind of cloudy out, not in that all-encompassing grey way, but in the slightly-dull way that exists just to make you wonder if it might rain. Eggman tapped a finger on his knee. If it was gonna rain, might as well stay in. It wouldn't hurt anything to reschedule today's scheme for later, since it was one of two this week. Uncapping his business marker, he crossed out today's plans and made a few inconsequential notes.
He was outside, despite his previous resolution to stay in. And for god knows what reason, he hadn't brought his umbrella. So now the sky is definitely the all-encompassing grey way, and he is standing outside somewhere unfamiliar. He doesn't really look around though; the sights don't interest him, and the rain pelting his coat is a minor inconvenience. He's just kind of existing there, really. A hand is on his shoulder now.
He's in Sonic's home. It's much more grandiose than normal, with several unwarranted staircases spiraling up into nothing, and many, many doors. He doesn't notice this fact. He and Sonic are leaned back, Eggman with a towel around his neck, lounging on the couch. Sonic is close- very close, their sides pressed right up against one another, a quilled head resting on a damp shoulder. Eggman feels him take his ungloved hand, run his wrapped fingers over the veins. He smooths comfortingly over clammy knuckles with a thumb, taking a moment to press his palm in. He pets his hand mundanely like this for seconds or hours. Then his fingers are moving and curling in between the other's own, a sigh escaping someone's lips.
He's opening his eyes, and Sonic is looking at him. Sonic's laughing, and smiling, and staring into Eggman's eyes with too much affection. Sonic is his lover. Eggman, despite his contentment, still leans up from his old, creaky recliner to look closer at him. Sonic leans down, crossing his arms and setting his elbows on the arm of the chair, knees lowering to the floor. He's still smiling. Eggman can't help but smile himself. He reaches a hand to run it over a rosy cheek-
…
Gasping, Eggman surged awake. His breath came fast, alarmingly almost, as he glanced around the unlit walls of his bedroom. The…
...Oh. A dream. Wow. He groaned torturedly, throwing an arm over his face and falling back into bed. That was bad. That was Bad. He had it bad. He and Sonic had been developing… something… for a long time now. He'd just never-
Oh. His eyes flew open. Something was- it was romance. Eggman felt- for Sonic the fucking Hedgehog-
If he wasn't before, now he was very, very awake. The dream must have triggered as a result of yesterday evening, and the mental fog that comes with every story-esque dream was still kind of fucking him up. There were more important matters to deal with, though. Namely, figuring out how the hell to deal with this new revelation. Without so much as a thought in the way of his two lackeys, Eggman leapt from bed, prepped himself for the day, and stormed off to his office.
Sonic finally stopped running some time after arriving in town. He wasn't sure why that junk with Eggman affected him so much, which left him a little annoyed with himself. It was just a hug. On accident. He didn't even mean to do it, and he didn't mean to smile at the other afterwards either. He definitely wasn't relieved when Eggman smiled back, and the two both awkwardly realized the situation and parted ways. It was the same old thing they'd somehow made a pattern of over the last year or two.
Honestly, he had no clue why he thought that might be the reason. This wasn't new. They'd hugged before, they'd been weirdly intimate. And it was all shrugged off right afterwards, never addressed again. That one hug after a team effort to thwart a mutual enemy could have led to Orbot and Cubot aimlessly investigating their creator's odd mood swing was stupid. He felt super stupid. God damn, if he hadn't jumped to stupid conclusions, he probably could've made less of a fool of himself. Though to be fair, he didn't really care that much about their opinions of him.
Fuck, just. Anyways. He wanted to go do something to get his mind off the whole thing, but knowing his friends, they were probably planning a surprise party for tomorrow. Sorry guys, you're transparent. So that left him with about… zero? Zero things to waste time doing. Unless he went to Meh Burger. But he wasn't really feeling it for mediocre lunch items at ass o'clock in the morning.
Groaning loud enough that probably everyone within 10 yards could hear him, Sonic trudged down the street. Cubot and Orbot likely aren't still hanging around his house, so he could probably theoretically just go back home and try to sleep his problems away. That sounded pretty good. Maybe get in that sleep-til-noon day he almost missed out on. Radical. Made him almost feel dumb, running off like he did then running back, but honestly he wasn't even gonna think about it.
"We're home."
The two stumbled back into Eggman's lair, prepared to head straight for where the Doctor had been very comfortable not long ago, but kind of got cut off by his appearance in the living room. Okay. Eggman's glance flickered over to them, brows inching down in disappointment. A sandwich containing questionable ingredients hung from his lips while he pressed buttons on the remote. All that was ever on was these shitty sitcoms. If he wasn't careful, he'd get carpal tunnel just from clicking away from them.
Mindful to chew what was in his mouth, he grumbled in a voice that could definitely be louder and angrier. "And where have you two been?"
"We were, um, just out sightseeing. Conversely, where have you been?" Orbot replied, letting a pinch of bitterness edge into his tone. "We hadn't seen you all morning, it was worrying." Little white lies never hurt either. Cubot didn't seem as interested in keeping the tale consistent and threw in, "You were like a zombie earlier!"
Eggman's shoulders clearly rose slightly, like he might defend himself, but instead he just shook his head and… rolled his eyes? The body movement suggested it, but no one could actually see his eyes past those glasses. "That's none of your business. Anyways, I need you two to deliver something for me." A glance toward them. "You're not to open it, just bring it straight to its recipient. Understand?" He added with the ominous intent of a man very willing to dig into some robot memory boxes again if need be. The two gulped, despite having no esophagus-esque features installed, and nodded obediently.
The scientist stared them down for a moment to watch them squirm, before huffing and pulling himself up from the comfort of his couch to reach for the letter near his feet (on the table). Though his expression visibly faltered when it was in his hands, almost like he seemed unsure of his next move, he did hand it off to Orbot. And Orbot definitely did not take it with the same fingers he'd crossed behind his back moments earlier.
"Okay! Soo, where do we take this?" Cubot asked, and Eggman just glared and pointed at the cover of the envelope. Orbot sensed an impending mood change and quickly looped his arm around the yellow bot's, dragging him off. "Right, we'll deliver it right away." To… Sonic. Yep, this definitely said Sonic.
As soon as he was sure his idiots were actually out of the lair, Eggman slumped into himself and looked around nervously. Maybe he should… do some cleaning. The table was a little cluttered, and he'd gotten some crumbs on the couch. He didn't want to be a rude host. What kind of host left sandwich crumbs on their couch? So with a grunt, he was up and searching his huge-ass place for a vacuum or something.
"Think it's safe?"
"I assume so."
"Well, what're we waiting for? I wanna know! Come on, open it, open it!"
"Hush, Cubot, I know." He snapped, nervous to be disobeying rules, but not really enough to make a situational difference. So, somewhere between the journey from their home and Sonic's, they paused to flip open the envelope and have a look. Guess Eggman had too much on his mind to bother sealing it, to the relief of his bots. This way there was little to no chance of him figuring out they'd read it.
Sonic,
This is weird, but I feel it's time we finally get to setting this straight. I think you know what I mean. Things have been tense between us, and not in the usual way. I want to talk to you personally some time and see if we can't address this properly and work it out. Maybe our interests might align.
Would you be interested in coming over this evening? Alone, of course. I'd really rather not fight your friends today while we're trying to converse like civilized individuals. You understand.
I'm sending this letter with Orbot and Cubot, who I'll expect to have your answer. If you need more time to think about it, just tell them that, that's fine. I hope to see you later.
Regards,
Eggman.
...
Orbot stared a moment, before re-reading it again. Cubot was scratching his metal head, presumably for theatrics, considering a robot couldn't itch. This was probably, by far, the strangest thing they had ever seen Eggman do. It almost looked like an evil ruse, but there was too much… what was it… Emotion? Realism? And seriously, he'd have boasted to everyone in his building by now.
The red robot blinked, folding the paper back into rectangles and tucking it neatly in its holder.
"I feel as if we shouldn't have seen that." he said, stating the obvious.
"Maybe that's why he told us not to open it!"
"You think, Cubot?"
Orbot kind of regretted it, because that was weird. It made him mildly uncomfortable in his bolts. But, curiosity sated, the two returned to their task and made their way in the direction of Sonic's house, hoping he'd actually be there. And even if he wasn't, it was a good first stop. They'd just ask around with his other friends.
It was, nevertheless, a little relieving when they returned and found the hedgehog tossing and turning in his hammock again.
Didn't look like sleep was really succeeding for him, because as soon as they were close enough to hear him grumbling, he was sitting up and looking between them irritably.
"Man… What do you guys want? I already told you, I don't know what's wrong with Egghead."
"We figured it out. But anyways, this is from the Doctor." Orbot said, looking to Cubot. Cubot looked at his friend.
"The letter, Cubot."
"Oh! Dr. Eggman sent us to you to give you this!" He realized belatedly that it'd been passed off to him by an unnerved Orbot earlier. Sonic, in return, gave him the least interested look he could possibly muster while being as interested as he was. This pretty much confirmed that Eggman's problem was somehow related to him, didn't it? His heart couldn't decide if it was sinking or leaping. Or… the phrase might have been "stomach sinking". So his stomach is sinking, and his heart is leaping. Grody.
"Uhm, okay. Let's see here."
Cubot, forgetting about social etiquette, stared as Sonic's eyes flicked back and forth across the sheet. His face was morphing into something weirdly indecipherable. Con...Confusion? Anxiety? Orbot couldn't pinpoint it. When it became clear he'd actually finished and was either deep in thought or re-reading without moving his eyes, Orbot muttered, "Are you finished? What does it say?"
Sonic blinked up from his odd stupor, glancing between the note and the bot, before folding it back up and setting it aside. Orbot supposed he might be a little baffled to receive such a letter himself. "Yeah, uh. Tell hi m…" he cleared his throat, "Tell him yeah, I'll be there."
Orbot and Cubot shuttled off with his response about an hour ago, and Sonic was still about as fucked as he was after the first time reading it. He wanted to talk to someone about all this junk, but his pride would definitely not hold strong in the face of grossed out companions. Maybe he should try writing in a diary or something.
With a groan, he rolled over onto his back. Hanging off the side of a half-mobile net and letting the blood rush to his head might not be perfect genius, but who really cared. He was uncharacteristically nervous about what Eggman wanted to talk about, since he'd never allowed himself the time to sort out his feelings on the matter in the first place. Usually repressed them before introspection could rear its ugly head.
What exactly was Eggman even wanting to say? Obviously it had to do with the weird bits of their relationship, but was it really even worth conversing about? Couldn't they just keep doing that frenemy thing, where he'd try to rule the world, Sonic would defeat him, and sometimes they'd hug?
Sonic blinked.
Eggman was probably… bothered by that, huh. He probably wanted to put a stop to it somehow. But then again, going in and having this one on one would be kinda counter productive to that notion, wouldn't it?
Man, this is too confusing. Too much to think about.
Running sounds good.
When she woke up, it was without much resistance. Just open eyes and stretched legs. God, how long was she out? A quick glance in the way of the window said 'all day'. By the time she'd able to enjoy it, the sunset would probably be wrapping its act up.
Well, may as well pay a visit to Tails, now that she was awake. Sticks and Knuckles should probably be roaming around there too by now.
…
"Hey, guys. How's it comin'?"
"Oh, hey Amy! Wasn't sure if we'd being seeing you tonight." Tails joked, setting his tape down. She only shrugged and looked around. "I was basically dead not 30 minutes ago, so the concern wasn't far off. This is all looking pretty good, though! Lovely work with the ribbons, Tails." She praised, Tails blushing bashfully. "Aw, it's not really the best. It should work for what's it's for, at least."
"You should really give yourself more credit. It'll be great!" Amy placed her hands on her hips. Speaking of giving yourself credit, "Where's Knuckles? And Sticks? I figured they'd be here already." She had a victory to casually imply on a certain red buffoon.
"Well, Sticks left not too long ago yelling some conspiracy about streamers. But, uh. Knuckles is still here." Amy was this close to asking for an elaboration, but really, what was even the point. Knuckles, emerging from a box in the corner of the room, shot her a thumbs up that she subconsciously tried (and failed) to ignore.
When the hedgehog opened her mouth to speak, Tails could sense in his bones the nature of her potential words, and instead interjected casually.
"So now I guess all we've gotta do is keep Sonic busy elsewhere. So we can get set up and stuff." He'd been weirdly absent throughout the day so far; Tails had sort of pictured keeping him out of the workshop being more tedious and complicated. Maybe they wouldn't run into any problems this year.
Amy sighed and crossed her arms. Rolling with the subject change is the high road, Rose. "Yeah, guess so. C'mon Knuckles, let's head over to Sticks' burrow then. We can call Sonic when we get there so he doesn't beat us to it."
Sonic never actually asked what time he should be at Egghead's place, so he decided to just wait 'til sundown. Hopefully the big guy hadn't been planning a friendly chat over a warm dinner or anything. After a few more moments of very mildly anxious stalling, a boom rattled his house. He didn't exactly mean to leave that fast, but no one was around to bear witness, so in the end it didn't really matter.
About three quarters of the way there, a transmission came in on his wrist, so he figuratively hit the breaks and paused up by the rocks around Eggman's water-based… base. Uhh… oh, Amy.
"Sup, Ames?"
"Hey, Sonic! Ah, we're here at Sticks' burrow now, and wondered if you wanted to join in on the big slumber party?"
Sonic blinked, staring into the screen as the question sunk in, then glanced away guiltily. "Oh. Uhh, I dunno. I've kinda got plans right now."
"What? What plans?" Her face definitely betrayed her surprise. It's not like they usually hung out with people outside their clique. Knuckles yapped about something in the background, but he couldn't make it out. It reminded Sonic of the situation, and he suddenly found himself anxious in the face of one of his closest friends.
"Uhhh, just- Y'know. Dude stuff. Cool guy things. Tell you what- mm… I'll try to head on over if things wrap up early, okay?" This with the included margin of potential brooding time, depending on the nature of the upcoming meeting. The look she gave him screamed 'you're acting really suspicious and I don't know why', but quickly withered into something close to acceptance.
"Well... okay." She huffed, clearly disappointed. "Just gimme a ring if or when you're good to come chill with us! A call, that is, not an actual ring. Try Tails if I don't answer."
"Right, got it. Will do. Seeya, Amy." And with a beep, she was gone.
...Man, really? A sleepover on the one night he was actually busy? Uncool, universe. It was even Sticks' place, too. With a suffering groan, Sonic shook his head clear and took off.
Sonic was late.
Well, to be fair, he hadn't actually written a time on the letter. But he had kind of assumed "evening" meant "some vague time between 5 and 7", not 8 and counting. He did say he was coming, it wasn't like he said maybe. Would Sonic really have said yes just to stand him up? Even to Eggman, that was inexcusably evil.
A whole day, several hours of which were executed in a boring, impatient, and anxious limbo, had been totally wasted preparing for his guest. The floors were swept a little more efficiently than usual, and there wasn't a trace of sandwich crumb to be seen on his couch.
Eggman felt more dejected than angry, to both his and his snooping robots' alarm. Orbot and Cubot hovered behind a nearby wall, muttering quietly amongst themselves. Before the scientist could let his thoughts drift to anything more negative though, the doorbell rang, and he was up out of his seat in a flash.
As per evil lair, the doors slid open at the press of a button, leaving one blue hedgehog awkwardly standing outside the building. If the taller hadn't been exactly as nervous, he might have noted that Sonic was struggling to figure out what to do with his arms.
"Hey, Eggy. Uh… I'm here."
"Right. Er, come on in." He stepped to the side to make room, and the two shuffled in together. Really, it really was really awkward. The silence was deafening, and Eggman looked as nervous as Sonic felt. Didn't help that all his lair's walls were white either. It felt foreboding and uncomfortable, like a doctor's visit. Which… Okay, Dr. Eggman.
No, that was weird, nevermind.
"Here, you can just have a seat on the couch. I didn't prepare anything too amazing, since I wasn't sure whether you'd be coming or not." Eggman explained, snapping Sonic out of his thoughts. He shrugged and took a seat, relaxing as much as one lowkey expecting a surprise trap to pop out at any moment could. It was when the other took a seat next to him (a reasonable distance away, but not far enough to make the awkwardness even worse), that Sonic spoke.
"So. You wanted to talk."
Eggman appeared surprised. Guess he expected to beat around the bush a bit before getting into it. "...Right."
He exhaled, brow furrowing slightly at the monosyllabic response. "Well, we can talk now. I'm here, and all." At the cost of what had the potential to be the coolest sleepover ever. Eggman nodded, sensing an underlying bitterness in his tone, and figured he should get to the point too.
"Well, as the letter said. This is, uh. About us." He winced as the words left his mouth. Make it weirder, Egghead. Go on, why not.
"Us, right. So, I'm just gonna assume when you say that, you mean the… that thing we do, where we sometimes get all weird and over-comfortable with each other."
"Err, yeah, more or less. I, uh… Gosh, it's so hard to get this started." he mumbled, subconsciously rubbing his arm and glancing down bashfully. Sonic stared, uncomfortable with the fact that he had to force his body not to lean in and console him. Eggman fumbled with his words, his brow creasing in distress as he took a moment to sort his thoughts out.
"Do you not li ke it?"
Okay, ripped him out of thought pretty fast. Sonic wanted to fucking jump off a cliff at the crack. He wasn't goddamn desperate. The scientist studied him for a moment, straightening up.
"No! No- It's, um." He scrambled to defend it, but that didn't change how hard finding words was when you were trying not to wreck yourself. "...the… it's the opposite?" A hard wince. Too direct. Too direct. Too late. The hedgehog's eyes were wide open, and now the both of them were sitting up straight.
"It's the opposite? What d'you mean? Like…" Against his better will, his face wound up heating at the question. "Like… you, uh. Want it?"
"Nnnnnnoo…" A shifty glance away. "...Yeah. Alright, I'll be straight with you." Not. "I actually wanted to talk to you today, because… because, uhm…."
Sonic stared expectantly, notedly hopeful. For whatever reason. The suspense was too much to deal with, so despite his undetermined stance on the situation, he took an educated guess, and a heavy leap.
"...Egghead. Are you saying you want a relationship?"
Go ahead, Eggy. That's your chance to deny it and shoot lower.
"...Maybe."
Amy closed her communicator with a sigh, looking back at the others huddled in the burrow. Sticks and Knuckles were standing nearby, faces also slightly downtrodden.
"Oh, well. Maybe he'll make it later! So long as we make sure he doesn't head back to his house before tomorrow, it should be fine." The hedgehog said, mostly reassuring herself. "And besides, this is still a slumber party. Once Tails gets done, we can all have fun anyways!" To which the other room occupants brightened up considerably.
"Yeah, all right! I was a little worried we'd cancel it." Knuckles laughed, shaking his head. She questioned whether or not he actually understood what was going on.
"Can I get out the pretzels now?"
"Yes, Sticks, you can get out the pretzels now."
Sonic stared at him. Just, stared. His heart was definitely beating faster, and he was mildly afraid that if he said anything, it would be obvious. Eggman was clearly getting more and more nervous the longer this silence dragged on.
On the outside, he really couldn't picture it. It'd be weird, like all of this. Had he ever wanted to wind up dating Eggman? Really? It was almost cringe-worthy. What would they do? Walk around, hand-in-hand? Would the evil schemes end? Sonic didn't want that, if he was honest with himself.
But oddly enough, he didn't actually want to say no, either? If this thing happened, that meant he could… y'know… appreciate the other openly. Hugs wouldn't have to end awkwardly. When he felt that miscellaneous desire to comfort or wrap an arm around him, it wouldn't be wrong or unorthodox. Sonic knew the most appeal came from the little things that TV didn't tell you about. Like making the other happy just to see them smile, or playing with their fingers because you felt like it. A relationship wasn't just holding hands down the street to garner as much attention as possible.
Breathing in deep and subsequently alerting Eggman that he was finally gonna get some kind of verbal response, Sonic mumbled. "...I. Yeah, we could definitely talk about that." His shoulders were stiff again, hands squeezing together in a pointless attempt to relieve some anxiety. The hero made deliberate eye contact with the other, a daring move considering his expression was probably not as collected as it could be.
Egghead, having slumped farther and farther into himself the longer Sonic hadn't given any signs of reacting positively, glanced up.
"You mean it?" Now he almost looked excited.
"Ss...ure. Yes, that's what I said."
"Wonderf- ahem, er. Okay. What needs discussion?"
Sonic withered slightly at the other's stifled enthusiasm. Mostly because he was on the cusp of it himself, but still denying it the right to take over. "Well, uh… I guess first, the most important thing is your evil thing." Eggman's face lit up with understanding, then morphed into something less pleasant.
"You… want me to stop trying to destroy you."
The way he worded that was funny. It actually made Sonic snicker a bit, to the other's bewilderment. Like he was still planning on trying to destroy him despite this desired intimacy commitment. And maybe funnier, Sonic kind of identified more with that.
"Come to think of it, no. Is that weird?"
"A little bit." Eggman admitted. The smile making way across his face couldn't be helped.
At that, the hedgehog just... sunk into a fit of giggles. The anxious jitters weren't really enough to warrant death by laughter. What was there just kind of flipped itself into the knowledge that this was absolutely ridiculous. 'Course, given the nerves in the air, Sonic's giggles were highly contagious, and the Doctor found himself laughing too.
Laughter always amplified when others were doing it with you, and soon enough, they were half-collapsed on respective sides of the couch, laughing their goddamn asses off. When one would start to calm, the other would keep going, and the hysteria would cycle back around.
It was maybe two or three minutes later that they began calming down, having to force in the chuckles and look away to catch their breath. Sonic put a hand on the arm of the couch, the other resting on his stomach.
"Right. Heh- So, what? I guess we just keep fighting?"
"I suppose so. Without my schemes to destroy you and your rodent friends, we're both kind of empty."
Sonic didn't dignify the casual insult toward his friends with a reaction. "Well. It wouldn't be good to like, actually destroy your bo…" he faltered, remembering they hadn't actually agreed to this formally yet, "Yyyuhh- Me. Not that you could, because I'm faster than whatever you can throw at me, but."
The other, judging by his expression, immediately caught on and chose not to comment on it. His brows furrowed in mock annoyance. "I mean. What if I just keep coming at you with my doomsday devices?" Not like they'd ever succeeded before, after all. That thought was highly unwarranted and he was going to forget it, though. "It might be fun. Neither of us will get bored, for sure, and we'll. Y'know. Just work around that."
Sonic pondered on it. The setup was funky, but honestly, what's new? Images of him chilling around the lair while Eggman worked on something new to rule the world with flitted through his mind. He could picture it. The fondness of hearing he was out terrorizing something again, and the triumph of going and foiling it. Then going and doing affectionate trash right afterwards.
Very funky. He grinned, albeit a little shakily. His face was probably an uncharacteristic shade of pink, for reasons unrelated to their recent laughing fit. "I'm still gonna trash your robots."
Eggman smiled too. "And I'm still going to trash your town."
A shared snicker between the two. "Perfect. I guess that's it, then."
"That's it? You made it sound like there were other problems to address too."
Sonic shrugged, leaning back into the couch. "I can't think of anything else right now. Guess I can just... get back to you later, if something pops up." Yeah. That's fair. A moment of silence slid by as Eggman came to terms with it all.
"So… You actually... Like me?"
Sonic jolted slightly. Oh, that hadn't actually… been said. Blue arms crossed over one another as he shifted, unused to verbally expressing fondness. "...Yeah." The hero knew he didn't really need to ask, since this whole meeting made it pretty clear, but the words slipped out before he could stop them. "And you do too? Like me, I mean."
Eggman gave a nod, rephrasing his almost-spoken 'I do' (for obvious reasons; he wasn't trying to come on that strong) into an eloquent "Yeah." And even though the hedgehog expected it, he didn't expect the warm feeling that came with. It made him grip his arms a little tighter.
Sonic thought of his friends, probably all having a blast playing games and making fun of each other in the burrow. And he thought of his… what? Boyfriend? Nemesis with benefits? Sitting beside him, staring (almost giddily, but also clearly apprehensive) into his lap, probably waiting for Sonic to wrap it up and excuse himself.
"...Wanna catch a movie or somethin'?"
Someone groaned, eyes straining with the obligation to face the world. He shifted.
A voice in his subconscious said it was time to get up, but he was comfy damn it. Well, for the most part. Something felt a little off. It wasn't unusual for his bed to move, but his gravity was weird? So with an unamused huff, Sonic finally opened his eyes and glanced around.
...Oh.
He must have passed out at some point during the movie. Since theaters were all closed, and it was already late anyways, he and Eggface just started flipping through channels, bullshitting the whole way. There was never anything good on cable late at night, so it wound up coming down to yet another Barry Otter marathon. They always hyped that shit up, but he swore to god it was there every damn night.
Another groan. It must be well into morning or something. The room was so bright. Why're white walls so reflective? The hedgehog had half a mind to try forcing into dreamland anyways, wrapping an arm tighter around his pillow and snuggling back in, when a light snore interrupted his genius plan. Sonic blinked, realizing with a start that, right, this wasn't his hammock at home- and couches don't move.
Kay, no need to startle now. We cleared this all up last night. If Eggman was cool with being used as a vertical pillow, so was Sonic.
Still, it wasn't something he was used to yet, so with a little grunt he pulled himself away and stretched. Then curiously glanced back over. Sonic would have expected Eggman to snore horribly or something, like in the cartoons, but it was actually pretty standard. He was slightly leaned into the couch's arm, one arm crossed over his lap and the other laying at his side. Probably because there'd been a hedgehog leaning against it for some number of hours. The TV was still blaring something, leading him to believe the doctor fell asleep involuntarily as well. He noted, with a revulsed shudder, that the Otter series must have ended earlier. Now some reality show was playing.
Yeah, no thanks. He quickly shuffled around for the remote and shut it off, then looked around some more. How long did Egghead usually sleep in? Sonic had sort of pictured him being the punctual type who woke up at very early, very specific hours of the morning. Then again, last night was every kind of unusual in the book, so this was probably the outlier situation. Regardless, he didn't want to wait around, now that he was up, and the idea of leaving without some kind of warning left a bad taste in his mouth.
"Hey, Egghead."
…
"Eggface. Eggy. Wake up." He shook his shoulder, watching as the other inhaled deeply and drew into himself. "Eggmaaan, come on, I'm bored. Don't make me leave a note like some girl after a one night stand."
"FFffu.. Ine, Fine, I'm up. Shut up." He grumbled, rolling away from him just enough and totally contradicting his words. Yeah, uh-uh.
"EGGMAN!"
There we go. He watched, satisfied, as the taller about jumped from his skin and fell off the couch. Orbot and Cubot whizzed around the corner maybe 10 seconds later, bumbling and fretting about why the fuck he screamed like that. Sonic didn't regret anything.
Eeexcept maybe ditching his friends, of which his brain was kind enough to remind him. To be fair, he hadn't promised to be there for sure, so… Hopefully they wouldn't be upset or anything. Probably should go meet up with them. Maybe he'll have the honor of waking all of them up, too.
Grumbling from the floor reeled his attention back in. "Bought time, man. I was calling you for like, ever." A whole minute. "Y'alright, there?"
Eggman didn't care to respond. Memories of last evening were flooding back, sure, but no one deserved to be woken like that. No one. Instead, he righted himself, yawning and looking back at his… lover? Could he call him that yet? Too soon, maybe.
"Uh… you all there? You didn't hit your head on the way down, did you?"
Eggman rolled his eyes (probably) and shook his head.
"No, my head's just fine, thank you."
"Ah, kay. Great. A concussion might not be the best start to a relationship, huh?" He laughed, choking slightly on the end after realizing he'd just casually brought the situation back to light. Eggman's expression visibly shifted from moderately disgruntled to slightly bashful again, and Sonic definitely was not pleased about it.
"Haha. Yeah. Well, I should probably get home and check on my friends now." He blurted out, apparently back to the awkward thing. Fuck it. Eggman looked surprised (and perhaps a little disappointed that he couldn't offer him breakfast or something), and stood up.
"Ah. That's fair. Want a lift or anything?"
The hedgehog was halfway to declining, mostly out of principle, before pausing and actually considering for a second. Well, his plan was to just head straight to Sticks' place. He hadn't thought about how to break all this to his friends yet, so the idea of floating in on Egghead's mobile and getting caught right away was a little undesirable. Then again, he could just get a lift to his shack instead and leg it the rest of the way.
Yeah, that sounded good. More reason to hang around him, though he wouldn't admit that in the near future. And commuting early in the morning is usually silent, so there shouldn't have to be any awkward small talk on the way. It was with that thought, that Sonic shrugged and nodded.
"Yeah, sure. Why not."
Interestingly, despite all the times he'd been on this thing, he'd never actually ridden in it. It wasn't really anything special, but the noise was much less oppressive than rides in the Tornado, and kind of smoother, too. He had to give Eggman props for his technology every now and then.
Hopping from the seat (which was a little cramped, considering the mobile was made for one Eggman in particular), Sonic stretched his legs. "Thanks, Egghead. I appreciate it."
Eggman grinned, mood a little better after some time to wake up. "Any time," The end of the sentence hung empty like he was going to add something in, but nothing came. The hedgehog sensed it and lingered in place. Maybe he should… like… do something? He didn't know. They were a... thing now, so just taking off felt a little rude.
But really, this was barely even day two? What could he do that wouldn't be forced and weird?
Eggman, curious as to why Sonic was still just standing there, raised a brow. He was halfway to voicing his question, when the other looked him in the eye and waved a beckoning hand. Debating briefly what this meant, he determined he was supposed to hop off the vehicle too.
"What?"
Sonic's face colored, since he'd never done this deliberately before. Not trusting his voice, he brought it in the rest of the way and closed blue arms around the other in a brief hug. Eggman was barely able to hug back, in the midst of mild surprise. It was fast, like everything else about Sonic, and he almost gagged at how poetic the thought was.
"See you around, Eggy." He said, trying to keep his signature cool guy smile on after pulling away. Eggman's heart warmed, and he was super fucking close to saying something back, when his eye caught Sonic's doorway.
Sonic, of course, knew exactly what that meant. Instead of turning around and checking for himself, he shut his eyes and groaned. "There are people behind us, aren't there."
"Yyyup."
"I don't suppose they're just unknown civilians, either."
Eggman's silence spoke volumes. The two righted themselves, and turned to see Tails and Amy in the doorway, cone hats strapped to their heads and party horns dangling from their lips, looking a lot like deer in headlights. There was some rustling behind them and Sticks poked her head through the doorway. "What's goin' on? He's here, ain't he?"
She stared at the two, standing rigidly in front of the Eggmobile, and glared.
"Eggman! Here to ruin Sonic's birthday party, are you!? Aww, when I get my mitts on you, I swear ta'-"
"Sticks, stop. Oh my god." He ran a hand down his face. So much for keeping on the down-low. He turned back to a scandalized-looking Eggman. "Alright, I'll deal with this. Seeya-"
"Today's your birthday?"
…
"Uh. Yeah. Weren't you there to wreak havoc last year?"
Eggman closed his eyes and exhaled. He was so focused on everything else, that he... Welp. "Right. Expect me later, I've gotta make some last minute adjustments to the Incinerator before I can attack you guys."
Sonic raised a brow and placed his hands on his hips, the other filing back onto his vehicle. "Yyyeah, alright. You do that." It's a date. Feeling weirdly smug about the thought, one blue hedgehog turned to face his actual doom.
if you want to die imagine how i, having stared at it for 3 days, feel