Mister Perfect Cell stood 'perfect' centre in the middle of the perfectly square, fine marble white, twenty four by twenty four tile arena for the Cell Games, presented by Hetap, with his arms crossed and eyes closed, quietly humming the tune to Dragon Soul… or Grab a Bowl… I don't know; he's only humming the tune so it's impossible to tell. Leave me alone.

"Oi, Cell?" Somebody called out from behind him.

"Ah, another challenger. Right on schedule." Cell said, opening his eyes immediately and turning around to face them. "So, who do I have the honour of humiliating today?"

The challenger this time was a young British woman judging by her accent. She had blood red eyes and blonde hair cut into a flare cut, wearing a yellow uniform with a matching mini skirt, long white stockings and ankle folded brown boots and gloves. The most notable thing about her, however, was her left arm, which was a mass of writhing black and orange, shadowy, whip-like tendrils… Oh, and she has huge tits.

She had called out to him with a look of stoic determination on her face; however, as soon as she heard Cell speak, she suddenly changed to one of confusion instead. "Wh- Master?"

"Hmmm, I've been called a lot of things recently, but that's a new one." Cell responded casually.

"N-no, I mean, you sound just like…" She stuttered while Cell simply stared back at her with a straight face. "Have you ever met Alucard?" She asked.

"Alu-who?"

"Never mind, you'd remember if you met him." She said, regaining her composure.

"Hmm, alright, back to my original question then: who are you?" Cell asked again.

The young woman now stood up straight in an imposing stance. "My name is Seras Victoria," she began. "Fuck-Mothering vampire and Protector of the Hellsing Organization. I may be a bloodsucking demon of the night, but even I recognise true evil when I see it, and I'm the one they call in to deal with it when it rises up, which is why I'm gonna be the one to defeat you right here and now, and save the world from your tyranny." She finished.

"Haha, oh really? You're going to kill me and save the world?" Cell laughed affably. "Do you have any idea how many times I've heard someone say something along those lines in the past few days? And oh look, I'm still alive. So tell me then, Seras Victoria." Cell continued, becoming more serious in his tone. "What makes you think that you can succeed where everybody else has failed?"

"Because bitch…" She started, bearing down, staring at Cell with a primal look on her face. "I eat people."

"…Oh, I like you." Cell replied, now genuinely smiling.

As soon as he had finished speaking, Seras then quickly broke into a run, charging Cell straight on, releasing a battle cry as she did so. Closing the gap between them in a matter of seconds, she reared back with her shadowy left hand, struck against the android bug monster and…

*plink*

Did absolutely no damage.

Seras' cool and confident expression, built up from her badass boast immediately fell like London Bridge at seeing this guy not even flinch at an attack that could tear through dozens of Nazi vampires like a knife through butter. "…Uhhhhhmmm," she paled. She then swiped at him again, but was met with the same result. And again. And again. And again. And again.

"Uhh, okay," she stuttered out, backing away a few steps. "This is, uhh… usually a bit more effective."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Cell responded calmly.

"Uh, alright then, listen, we don't necessarily have to settle this with violence." She tried reasoning. "M-maybe we can get a dialogue going?"

"Meh, I'm not gonna stop you. I mean, it's not gonna work, but I'm not gonna stop you." Cell said, looking off to the side a bit, with his hands on his hips.

"Uh huh," Seras spoke quickly, nodding nervously.

"Oh, but there is one thing I'd like to say if you'll permit me." He continued, turning his head back towards her fully again.

"…Okay."

"Nice tits."

"AND THERE IT IS!" She suddenly screamed out, instantly regaining her earlier composure. "Uh, you know what – screw this, I'm out of here." She then turned back around and started walking away. "I'm just gonna head back to London and let somebody else deal with this shit. Let that bitch Heinkel have a shot at it for once." She continued mumbling to herself, becoming quieter as she got further away.

"Alright then," Cell called out to her as she was leaving. "Thanks for coming out here! Happy to have you on my stage! Bye Seras Victoria!"

After she had left, Cell was left alone in his arena once again. "Boy, it feels weird saying her name for some reason."