Brouhaha Chapter 1, a harry potter fanfic

Brouhaha-an episode involving excitement, confusion, turmoil, etc., esp. a broil over a minor or ridiculous cause

If you recognize it, I don't own it. Maggie, Suzie, and Azzurra are mine though.

Brouhaha Chapter 1

"So," said a small redhead, "Buttsex." Uproarious laughter followed this statement. "Dammit Lily!" gasped one out of the four girls in the compartment. "You can't do that to us!" "Yeah!" said a still laughing brunette. "We're gonna die laughing and you're gonna have to clean up our corpses!" Lily looked offended, "Hey! I'm not killing anyone. It's not my fault you guys find it so funny." Thunk! Another redhead had fallen out of her seat shaking with silent giggles. "Maggie?" Azzurra asked. "You okay?" The giggling continued as she rose into a sitting position, a silly grin on her face. She smiled innocently at her friends. "Buttsex." More laughter ensued as the others joined her on the floor.

These four had been friends for six years now. Lily Evans was a pale girl with bright green eyes and wavy red hair reaching her mid-back. To her left was another redhead, paler than Lily with freckles scattered over her face. Her hair was in a long braid down to her waist to keep it out of her blue eyes. Azzurra had long brown curly hair framing her tanned face with bright blue eyes. Her slight Italian accent kept anyone from thinking she was actually British like most of her friends. And lastly was Suzie, the eldest of their little quartet with her blonde hair in a bun to keep it out of her brown eyes.

The compartment door opened and four boys stared down in confusion at the giggling girls on the floor before them. "Do you mind?" said Sirius Black, blowing black hair out of his grey eyes. "There are other people on this train trying to think, though it gets kinda hard listening to such loud laughter." "Ah come off it Black!" Maggie said with an Irish lilt in her voice. "We all know ya don't think!" Laughter sparked again in the already merry girls. "Yes, yes we know Sirius doesn't think, but there are others here with brains." James Potter added. Lily's head whipped back and forth. "Where?" she asked. Azzurra pointed to Remus. "Oh! Oh! I see one! But that's about it." Remus bowed low, grinning, "I knew Mcgonagall said something about you all having brains." He said, amused.

"Remus!" Sirius cried, "I am deeply offended at this statement and methinks we can no longer remain friends for this outrageous slander of my intelligence!" He crossed his arms and turned away from Lupin with his nose in the air, pouting.

"Ooh, it talks pretty, don't it?" Suzie whispered.

Remus placed a hand over his eyes and cried "I knew this day would come Padfoot! You never appreciated me for who I am! Well, fine then! James, you still love me right?" he said turning to the bespectacled boy.

"Of course Moony!" he said flinging his arm around the other boy's shoulders.

"What's this?!" Sirius cried angrily, turning around. "Treachery! Prongs, how dare you betray me! I loved you!"

James shrugged. "Sorry Paddy old pal, but I've made my choice."

Sirius looked as though he were about to cry, before turning to the last boy. "Wormtail," he pleaded, "Dearest Wormtail! Please tell me that you have not also betrayed me (AN: well, not yet…)? I couldn't bear it if you left me all alone!"

Peter Pettigrew glanced at Remus and James before saying, "Oh fine, I guess I love you Padfoot." He sighed dramatically as Sirius hugged him fiercely.

The girls applauded loudly as all four bowed. "Bravo gents," Suzie said, "But would it be too much to ask you to actually leave now?" Sirius plopped down on the floor. "Yes, actually." Azzurra and Maggie exchanged smirks. "Well, then" said the small Irish girl. "I'm guessin' we'll have ta be movin' ye then?" She pushed up her sleeves and brandished her wand. "But bein' the good girl I am, I'll be givin' ye three seconds to make your escape." She held up three fingers. "One…" Sirius grinned up at her. "You wouldn't." he said confidently. She gave him a maniacal grin back "Two…" "Um, Padfoot…" Remus said. "Maybe…" "Well, ye had your chance. Three!"

She flicked her wand, muttering a spell under her breath. Sirius flew backwards out the door, crashing into the other three along the way. All four boys fell in a heap in the small corridor. Lily got up, "Bye-bye!" she said brightly before closing the compartment door.

"Well, that was interesting." Azzurra said. "Now what?" Lily checked her watch. "Uh-oh," she muttered. "Did I hear an 'uh-oh' Miss Evans?" Suzie asked. "Because 'Uh-ohs' are generally signs that something is wrong. And things being wrong is…well…very un-good." Lily looked at her friends. "It is time." She said solemnly. A look of dawning comprehension came over Azzurra's face. "Uh-oh." "Would any of ye care to explain all the uh-ohs?" Maggie asked. "Time for what, Lily?" "Time to venture out there into potential danger." She said slowly rising. "Oh," said Suzie. "Prefect meeting?" "Azzurra nodded and groaned, "Lupin." "Well, at least ye get to find out who the Head Boy is." Maggie pointed out. "Yeah, yeah" Lily sighed. "Alrighty then. Come on 'Zura."

Lily and Azzurra stepped carefully out into the hall. Peering left and right, they cautiously began to edge past the compartment that held the Marauders. Slowly, quietly…almost there….WHAM! The door flew open and out popped James and Remus. Azzurra's eyes went wide. "Run Lily!" Both girls dashed away as quick as they could in the direction of the prefect compartment. "What the…?" Remus began. "Dunno," said James. "C'mon. I guess it's time." He sighed. "Oh, come off it Prongs, it's not the end of the world. I bet Lily's Head Girl." James brightened at this. "You know what Moony? You always know the right thing to say." The boys strode off in the same direction the girls had just gone.

Panting and laughing, Lily and Azzurra slumped down, the first ones to reach the compartment. "Did you see their faces?" Azzurra laughed. "Such blank confusion, oh my." "Okay, okay," Lily said, "As Head Girl, I've got to act responsible and solemn now." She put on a straight face and tried to look regal. A soft snicker from Azzurra caused both to burst out laughing again. "Heh, good try though." Azzurra said.

"Thank you my dear underling."

"Hey! That sounds a bit condescending dearest overlord!"

"Not in the least little minion, now go forth and do my evil bidding!"

Azzurra's eyes glazed over "Yes master."

Both girls continued laughing until the door opened. "AHH!" Lily yelled, jumping back. "What is that?!" "Some sort of slimy black monstrosity, I think!" Azzurra cried, grabbing Lily's arm. James and Remus simply blinked as both girls dissolved into helpless laughter for what seemed to be the eightieth time that day. "Umm, girls?" James asked tentatively. "Are you guys…okay?" "Oh, not really." Lily said, "Was it those thirty Cauldron cakes we split between the four of us 'Zura?" "Mmm, I'm not sure," said the giggling brunette. "Maybe it was the sack of pure sugar Suzie brought that we all depleted in about five minutes." Remus looked half scared half amused. "Wait, wait, hold on..." Lily said becoming focused. "There are two of you." James rolled his eyes. "Yes Lily, there are two of us. James and Remus. One. Two." He said, pointing to himself and Remus in turn. "I know that" she said, "But why in the name of the gods are you here Potter? Remus is the prefect." Azzurra also looked up in interest. "Well dear children—"Hey!" "Children?!"—you would discover the truth eventually, so I will free you from your ignorance now." He took a deep breath. "I made Head Boy." Both girls blinked slowly, in unison. "No, really." Lily said looking hard at James. He held out his badge. "Yeah, really."

"Lily. Lily! LILY EVANS!" Azzurra shouted. Lily hadn't moved, hadn't even appeared to breathe since James had told her the news. Azzurra hit her in the back of the head with two fingers. "Ow." Lily said. "So, this isn't a nightmare." Azzurra looked sorry. "Sorry, but no." "Nice to know you're looking forward to our working together Evans." James said. "Has Dumbledore lost his mind?! You?! It doesn't make sense! I think my brain is exploding or something! Ow!" Lily cried clutching her head. Azzurra had knocked her on the back of the head again. "No," she said. "Still a solid, not exploded head." Lily looked at James sharply. "Why?!" He shrugged. "Search me." "Thank you, I'd rather not." Lily said, shakily getting to her feet. "Alright then," she muttered to herself, "I can do this. I will not go insane. I am strong. I've dealt with worse, I think. I will not go insane. And if he does something I can always kill him…" "Lily? We can hear you." "No, you can't"

The prefect meeting passed without a problem, other than the Head Girl being a little bit dazed and distracted. James kind of took care of everything with Azzurra and Remus looking on anxiously. After it was over Azzurra jumped immediately to Lily's side and directed her back to their compartment. She kicked at the door yelling "Marauders suck, so open up!" The door slid open to a grinning Maggie. "Always liked that password." But her face almost immediately turned to worry. "Lily? 'Zura what happened?" Azzurra merely pulled Lily into the compartment and closed the door behind them. "What in blazes happened to you lot?" Suzie said. "Ladies, I have some bad news." Azzurra looked at Maggie and Suzie's confused and worried faces. "Our new Head Boy is none other than the infamous James Potter." The silence was deafening except for the rush of the train and sound of jaws hitting the floor. "No," Maggie started slowly "Ye can't be serious?!" "I could insert an awful Black pun there, but I will spare you all. And yes, unfortunately, it is true. A joke about this would just be sick. And look at Lily!" Suzie bit her lip. "So should we wake Lily up first, or what?" Azzurra knelt down in front of Lily. "Lily Evans, if you do not become conscious of your surroundings right now I will set vicious first years on you!" Lily blinked. "You can set vicious first years on me?" Azzurra nodded. "I have powers that you know not." "But aren't all firsties small and scared?" Maggie asked. Azzurra grinned wickedly. "I have my ways of…persuading them to do my bidding." "Damn Italians and your nefarious skills!"

"You're just jealous."

"Maybe I am!"

"Ha!"

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because I've won!"

"You have not! You admitted to your jealousy of my amazing Italian skills!"

"Yes, and ye accepted ma jealousy!"

"So what?"

"So, ah win!"

"Both of you quit it! If anyone's won it's me!"

Maggie and Azzurra turned to Lily in absolute bafflement. "How?!" they asked simultaneously.

"Because I have the amazing will power to deal with Potter for the rest of the year!"

"Alright," "Okay then" "Yeah, that makes sense."

Lily smirked, and then put her head in her hands. "I may have the will power, but I don't know if I can survive this." she moaned. "Ah, Lily it could be worse." Maggie said. "How?!" "Well, he could be the same as in fourth year!"

It was true. From first year to early fifth year the girls and the Marauders had been deadly enemies, jinxing and teasing each other at every turn. If any of them passed in the hall, other students practically leapt out of the way, fleeing to safety. Several visits were made on both sides to the hospital wing, Dumbledore's office, and McGonagall's office not to mention the numerous detentions. But as they all got older and matured a little bit the actual fights became far and few, except for battles of words. They still strongly disliked each other, but realized their stupidity in physical fights with no purpose.

"Okay, yeah." Lily conceded. "But still! Having to deal with one of them! And not just anyone! Potter!" She threw herself down on the seat. "I'm doomed!" Suzie patted her head. "There, there, dear. You'll be okay. You have us! And if he does somethin' to you, we can always take him down." she finished slashing her hand forward. Lily smiled weakly. "Thanks guys." Maggie looked out the window. "Uhhh, mates? We're getting' a mite close to the castle. Robes are lookin' ta be necessary soon." The other three nodded and taking their robes, headed off to change.

"I'm doomed" James said walking into the Marauders' compartment with his head down. "Eh?" said Sirius tactfully. "Lily's is Head Girl." Sirius and Peter looked at James and proceeded to burst into uproarious laughter. "Guys! Shut up! You know she hates me!" "True enough Prongs," said Sirius trying to stop his chuckles, "But we also know that you are totally in looooooove with dear Evans." "But she hates me!" "So what?" said Peter shrugging his shoulders. Remus looked up from his book. "Well, now's your chance to prove her wrong." James grinned brilliantly. "Moony I never ever have once doubted your marvelous intelligence!" Sirius smirked. "So, you've got to prove to Evans that you're not just an obnoxious jerk anymore. But that goes completely against your nature!" James swung at him lazily. "Pads, I'm sure we'd all appreciate it if you would just shut up." Sirius's smirk grew wider. "You know you love me." "Sometimes I wish I didn't." Remus muttered. Peter and James laughed as Sirius put on a pitiful face. "I'm hurt Moony. Sometimes I think that you really don't love me." Remus glanced up at his overly dramatic friend. "If I didn't, then the entire school would probably know some of Sirius Black's most embarrassing secrets." Sirius paled. "You wouldn't." "I haven't yet at least. Wouldn't Professor Sprout be interested to know who it was who started the infamous Platypus incident?" Sirius threw himself at the feet of his werewolf friend. "Oh please please please please Moony! I will do anything!" Remus looked thoughtful. "Well right now all I'd like you to do is shut up." "Done!"

James peered at Sirius, who had a book over his face. A sudden loud snore from under the book made him jump. "Well Moony, he almost made it to Hogwarts without a sound. But maybe we should wake him up, seeing as we're almost there." Remus sighed. "It was too good to last."

Their last year of Hogwarts upon them, eight teenagers left the scarlet train having absolutely no idea what was about to happen.

And it's gonna be messy. Thanks for reading! Updates will hopefully be only a few days to a week apart!