Dedicated to Caius Marcius, Grand Master of Filks

(To the tune of 'Calendar Girl' by Neil Sedaka)

The scene: the last Care of Magical Creatures class for the year, end
of GoF.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron help Hagrid clean up after another Blast-Ended
Skrewt 'incident'

Ron: Hagrid, your classes are always "interesting", to say the least.
When do we study hamsters?

Hermione: The library has "Hamsters and Gerbils and Guinea Pigs, Oh
My!", Ron

Harry: Ever reckon you'd be the Magical Creatures prof, Hagrid?

Hagrid (blushing): It's all thanks to that great man, Albus Dumbledore

Ron: Well, you're the best man for the job!

Hagrid: Well, I do have a fancy for lots of creatures ...

(The kids): No! Go on!

Hagrid: Well ...

(Sprightly music starts)

HAGRID:
I love, I love, I love the little creatures,
Yeah, all sorts of creatures
I love, I love, I love the big creatures too
I love all the creatures in the world!

THE KIDS: Spiders!
HAGRID: Cute and covered with fuzz

THE KIDS: Cornish Pixies!
HAGRID: They got me all abuzz

THE KIDS: Snakes!
HAGRID: They like to lovingly entwine

THE KIDS: Dragons!
HAGRID: They make the cutest babies, oh so fine!

Yeah, yeah, all the creatures in the world!
I love to hug and cuddle them in my great big arms
Every one (THE KIDS: Every one!) in the world!

THE KIDS: Animagi!
HAGRID: Who they are can be a great surprise

THE KIDS: Owls!
HAGRID: Deliverin' messages and lookin' wise

THE KIDS: Banshees!
HAGRID: I think they're just misunderstood

THE KIDS: Centaurs!
HAGRID: Coolest pals in the neighbourhood

Yeah, yeah, all the creatures in the world!
I love to hug and cuddle them in my great big arms
Every one (THE KIDS: Every one!) in the world!

THE KIDS: Those bleeping Skrewts!
HAGRID: I love to watch them eat a ton of slugs

THE KIDS: Basilisks!
HAGRID: They really need a lot of tender hugs

THE KIDS: Unicorns!
HAGRID: They're shiny and pretty and they glow!

THE KIDS: Hippogriffs!
HAGRID: Grandest creatures and quite a fierce foe

Yeah, yeah, all the creatures in the world!
I love to hug and cuddle them in my great big arms
Every one (THE KIDS: Every one!) in the world!