A/N--This story is being wrote for Mediate89 as a big thank you for betaing all my stories, and putting up with my ramblings from night to night. The plot belongs to her, Im just piecing this together. With that said, theres probably mistakes in this, but icant very well ask my beta to beta her own story lol.

disclaimer--- I dont own twilight or its characters

Chapter one-- Accidents Will Happen

It was a Saturday morning, the sun was shining which was rare for La Push. I was walking down the sidewalk with my friend Erika, we were walking down to the small store not far from my house. "Nervous?" Erika asked me with a small smile on her tanned face.

I nodded, crossing my arms over myself, holding my sides as we walked. I was nervous. I was terrified, and I was nauseous. We were walking to the store for a reason. A reason I hoped didn't get back to my parents once we bought what I needed. I let out a sigh as we neared, I was half ways hoping that it would be closed for some reason. No such luck though. I pushed the door to the store open smiling at Mrs. Call as I walked past her to the back.

Erika followed after me looking sheepish as we stood in the last aisle. "Which one?" she asked me in a whisper.

"Like I've bought so many of these" I snapped at her

The rows of pregnancy tests stood in front of us, pink boxes, blue boxes, white boxes. "I cant believe I'm actually here doing this." I said with a scowl. I

hated the idea of being pregnant. Ugh… pregnant by my stupid ex boyfriend at that. He'd broken up with me a week age. This was the first time I'd left the house since that night. I'd only left now because I didn't want Erika to have to do this for me. This was excruciating enough without getting her into trouble too.

"Get this one. And get another one just so you have a second opinion" Erika instructed grabbing two of the tests of the shelf. She looked down at the boxes frowning.

I grabbed them from her "Let's get this over with." I said with a sigh as I went up front to pay. I set my face into a straight mask, daring Mrs. Call to say anything to me as she rang up the tests with a slight frown for me. I shoved a twenty at her and rushed out of the store as quickly as I could.

"Come on, if we hurry my mom will still be at work." I told Erika as we hurried back down the street.

"So do you like… feel pregnant?" Erika asked looking pointedly at my stomach.

I shrugged "Not pregnant. Just.. Awful. I'm tired and I feel strange." That could be from crying my eyes out every day for a week straight though. Sam had torn my heart out, and stomped on it. I couldn't even eat anything without feeling sick from it. The mention of him made my stomach churn. I loved Sam more than anything in the world and he'd left me after all the promises he'd made to me. He'd broke every last one of them.

Erika blew up, making her bangs puff up "Maybe its just nerves or something too. From well.. Everything." she said tugging on the hem of her bright pink tank top.

"I hope that's it. I mean… Obviously Sam doesn't give a damn about me anymore, so why would he care if I got pregnant?" I said knowing it wasn't true. Sam would care. Sam wasn't completely heartless and one thing he'd always expressed was wanting a family after we got married. Now the marriage we'd planned would never happen. Not for me anyways. Sam would marry my cousin, Emily. I held back a laugh as I thought of it. It might have been bitchy of me, and plain wrong and hateful, but I couldn't help but think she got what she deserved.

Emily' had been out in the woods with Sam, doing God knows what when she got attacked by a bear or something. It'd marred half of her face, leaving stitches all down the right side of the body. I saw it as justice for what she'd done to me. Karma even. My cousin had been wrong to steal my Sam from me. My sister almost. "Your bathroom?" Erika asked as we went inside the house.

I nodded and followed her down the hallway to the small bathroom. Once we were inside I shut the door and pulled one of the tests out and handed her the other one. "Ok.. It says to just pee on here and time it for six minutes." I read aloud looking at the stick and the cup in my hands.

Erika looked at the one in her hands "Same thing here, only time it for twelve." she said laying it down and looking at me with a worried expression in her dark eyes "I'll wait in your room for you."

I nodded and moved so she could get out of the small bathroom and shut the door behind her trying to brace myself as I followed the steps slowly. I sat on the edge of the bath tub for a moment, thinking on all of this. I couldn't be pregnant. I didn't want a baby. It was bad enough I was in a deep depression already, the last thing I needed was to find out I was pregnant. It would be like a sick joke or something. More like the universe had decided it was "Hate Leah" month or something. Apparently Sam did. And Emily.

I still remembered clearly the night he'd did it. Sam looked like he was honestly hating to break up with me, but he kept saying he had to. That he couldn't love me the same anymore now that he'd met Emily. I regretted the day I'd introduced them on the beach. It was at my birthday party at that. What a great present. I moved the thoughts of the break up from my mind, it was too painful to relive right now. I looked at the thin silver watch on my wrist. Three more minutes to go. Three minutes and my future was decided for me.

Three minutes and I'd know if my nausea and tiredness was from a possible baby or a possible breakdown. I heard a soft knock on the door and reached up and opened it up letting Erika back in. She gave me a nervous smile as she sat down. "So um…. How much longer?" she asked looking at the test. I'd placed it face down, so I'd have to pick it up to see the results.

"One minute." I replied running a hand through my long dark hair nervously. I hadn't bothered fixing it. It just hung in long pieces down my back now. I hadn't even changed into actual clothes before we left. I'd just put on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. I knew my dark skin was pale. I had circles under my red eyes, and I could really use a manicure. My nails were chewed up and bitten to the quick from my nerves.

Erika looked back at the test "I think its ready" she said softly reaching over and passing it to me. "You have to know sometime." she said trying to make me feel better about looking.

I took a deep breath, calming myself for the worst as I slowly turned the stick over. A big pink + sign was staring back at me. Positive meant positively pregnant. I felt the tears well up and spill over as it sunk in. I was pregnant. I was pregnant with a baby. A baby I didn't want and despised. Erika's arms wrapped around me, hugging me tightly "Shh. It'll be okay. I don't know.. Maybe Sam will want you back now." She was trying to reassure me, but it only made it worse. More sobs shook me as I thought of Sam and having to tell him.

"Maybe I should go. I think I'm making this worse." she said standing up. I didn't stop her as she opened the bathroom door "I'll call and check on you later ok? Don't freak out Lee."

I waved her off, not wanting to even try to form a sentence right now. My life was ending. I was pregnant and I was stuck this way. Abortion wasn't even an option. I didn't have any money and my mom wouldn't allow it anyways. Adoption would be off limits too. My parents were on a big "Quileute blood kick" lately. I slid off the edge of the tub as I cried, letting it all out again. Letting all the wounds open to bleed another time.

I lost track of how long I sat there crying and panicking. My breath kept coming in gasps, and heaves. I gasped trying to suck in more air as I felt a panic attack coming on. I leaned over the toilet in case I got sick as I tried to calm down. I was turning blotchy on my dark skin from freaking out so bad. The door pushed open behind me "You ok Leah?" I heard Seth say behind me.

I took a shaky breath, knowing I couldn't answer him. His worried caramel colored eyes looked at me "Leah?" he asked bending down beside me. I shook my head at him, tears falling. I didn't deserve my little brothers kindness right now. I wasn't good for anything. "Leah?" Seth asked again, frowning. He started to sit down, his foot kicking the pregnancy test. He looked at it and realization dawned onto his facial expression.

Seth's eyes met mine, asking with them. I nodded slowly and for the first time since Sam had broke up, I let someone besides Erika hug me. I wrapped my arms around my little brother as I cried into his shirt. I felt his hands rub my back soothingly "Leah.. It's okay. Calm down" he said softly. He reached over and shut the door to the bathroom. "You'll be fine, calm down and you can go tell mom. She'll know what to do and--"

I cut him off with a shaky voice "No! Don't tell mom!" I said quickly. I didn't want anyone to know about this abomination.

"But you have to tell her. You cant stay in the bathroom for the next 9 months" Seth protested.

I pulled away from our hug and gave him a dirty look "7 months. The next 7 months" I said swallowing hard as I thought on it. I knew exactly when I'd gotten pregnant. We'd been on the beach, hanging out alone and things had gotten carried away. Neither of us had planned on doing anything that night, so neither of us had brought any protection. We didn't think one time would matter. I could kill myself for thinking that now. Now that I was pregnant with a baby I didn't like.

Seth scowled at me this time "Its Sam isn't it? I could kill him. He should have known better. Why didn't you guys like…. Be careful?" he said a flush rising to his face.

"Seth!" I snapped at him. I wasn't about to go into detail with my baby brother about the heat of the moment. "Just promise you wont tell anyone?" I said wiping a few stray tears.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking torn. Seth never lied. He was an honestly good person. I knew I was asking a lot of him right now. "Fine. But only if you promise to tell them soon ok? Mom's a nurse. She'll notice when you start getting sick and getting fatter."

I hugged him again, "Thanks Seth. You're the best brother I could ask for." I said softly "I'll tell them soon. I just need to figure this out."

Seth nodded and looked at me "So um… you're not going to do anything stupid are you?" he asked finally.

I looked away from his gaze as I got up from the floor "No" I said gathering all the boxes and evidence to hide in the trash can.

Seth put a hand on my arm lightly "Leah, promise me?" he said "I mean… that's my niece or nephew even if it is from that jerk Uley."

"I cant" I said softly, I turned to move past him and sighed when he blocked the door. Seth was bigger than me. He was taller, and broader. "Move Seth."

Seth gave a look "If you cant make a promise, then neither can I"

I glared at him angrily "Fine. Have it your way." I snapped and pushed on his chest "now get out of my way"

Seth moved to the side, letting me squeeze past him. I went to the kitchen and shoved the plastic bag in the trash can, pushing it down as far as it could go. I looked up at the clock it was almost 6. I had a few minutes to get to my room and hide before everyone got home. I couldn't face anyone right now. Especially not my mom. I grabbed a pack of crackers and a bottle of water and took off down the short hallway and closed myself up in my room. I crawled into my bed, it'd been my sanctuary lately. The only place I could be myself and not feel like a cry baby.

I laid there in the bed, not getting up to turn any lights on as it started to get darker out. I pulled the quilt closer around myself, letting my mind focus on everything. I was pregnant and alone. I was pregnant by the one person in this world I loved more than anything and he didn't love me back. I didn't think being pregnant would change that either. I didn't want being pregnant by Sam to be the only reason he came back to me. Being pregnant would probably just make him resent me even more actually. It would put a tarnish on his relationship with Emily.

I'd thought I'd finally be okay after crying my eyes out over Sam last night. Only to wake up and realize I was pregnant. Now I would never get over Sam, not if I had his baby. Unless I didn't have his baby. I didn't have to have this baby. It was still early enough to get rid of it. I thought on it, it would be better to get rid of the baby I didn't want than to raise it and resent it forever. I felt my eyes tearing up again as I thought of Sam standing there with Emily holding our baby. I let the tears fall down my cheeks, I didn't bother to reach up and wipe them away as I laid there, crying myself to sleep in the next hour.

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I woke up groggily, there were a few beams of sunlight coming through my window. I groaned as I rolled over on my side to look at the clock it was only seven in the morning. I laid there, feeling tired still as I sat up slowly. It was way too early to be up. My eyes felt puffy from all the crying I'd done. I rubbed them, trying to get myself a bit more awake.

The upside of this pregnancy was that it helped me sleep as much as I wanted to apparently. That meant less time awake to wallow in pity and shame. I started to crawl out of the bed when I felt the sickness rise in my throat and bolted across the hall to the bathroom. I didn't even bother to shut the door as I barely made it there in time. I stayed on my knees for a few minutes, making sure I wasn't about to be sick again before I got shakily from the floor to brush my teeth.

I left the bathroom quietly, hoping no one had heard me. As soon as I rounded the corner I smelled the fresh scent of coffee. "Are you feeling ok honey?" My mom asked me from the table where she was reading the paper.

I shrugged as I reached up into the cabinet for a coffee mug "Sure I'm just knocked up mom." I turned around, looking at her for her reaction.

My mom stared at me blankly "Excuse me?" she said looking like she couldn't believe it.

I rolled my eyes as I poured coffee into my cup and took a gulp of it, black, just like my heart was. "I said I'm pregnant."

My mom sputtered, setting her cup back down and fixing me with a look "Pregnant?" she said slowly looking bewildered at the thought.

I nodded and sat down across form her, deciding to get it all over with. I couldn't hide anything if I was going to be sick like that all the time. "Yes mom. I'm pregnant. As in I have a bastard child growing inside of me."

Mom shot me a dirty look then "Leah, don't say that. Are you sure you're pregnant though? It might just be from all the stress you're under, all the crying, and things."

"I'm sure. I took two tests yesterday. They both said positive." I felt the tears in my eyes well up again. Dammit, why did being pregnant mean I had to cry so much?

She reached across the table for my hand "Is it Sam sweetie?" she asked softly.

I let a single tear drop before I nodded once. "Who else could it be?" I whispered to her, losing my attitude.

"Oh, Leah." she said softly getting up to hug me. I let her wrap her arms around me before I said quietly "I don't want it mom. I don't want his baby."

She rubbed my back soothingly before she pulled back looking like she was fighting back tears herself "Shhh Lee…. This is your baby too, not just Sam's. You might decide you want to keep the baby after you have it."

I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand "I cant keep it. I cant keep this baby and have to see it everyday and know its Sam's baby. I was finally starting to feel better about everything and then this happened."

My mom hugged me again "Oh honey… It'll all work out I promise. I don't want you to do something you might regret later though."

"I already kind of decided what I wanted to do mom." I looked down at the floor, ashamed to meet her eyes as I said it "I want to get an abortion. I cant have this baby. I wont have this baby."

She wiped the tears from her eyes "I understand why you don't want the baby Leah, but I don't want you to have an abortion either. I don't feel comfortable letting you kill my grandchild." she took a deep breath "But if you still feel this way in a week or two, I'll say do whatever you feel is best. I don't want to force you to have a baby you don't want either."

I nodded, thankful she was going along with what I wanted. "Thank you. Thank you for not yelling at me, or preaching to me. I don't think I can handle it if you did." I said softly. "Please don't tell anyone. I'll tell dad later, Seth knows already. I don't want Sam to even know this happened."

My mom wiped her cheeks dry with a napkin as she got up from the table, looking at the clock "I wont Leah. You know I wont. I'll tell daddy for you if you want me to. I'll tell him not to tell Sam anything, I think you should tell him yourself though."

I shook my head as I took a sip of my cold coffee "I don't want to tell him anything. I don't even want to see him again. He has his precious Emily now, he doesn't need me." I said sadly as I got up from the table. I felt nauseous again, and a bit relieved. I didn't think telling my mom would be that easy. "I'm going back to bed for a while."

She nodded and waved me off "I'll see you when I get home, we'll talk to daddy then ok?"

"Okay" I said softly as I disapeared down the hall and climbed back into my bed. My safe haven, the only place I could let what I felt show without being ashamed.