I stare into your eyes, grabbing your hand. It reminds me of my mum, our mum's, hands. A comfort. My eyes hurt, my head hurts. But it doesn't matter, because your here. Your saying you will save me, that I am a stupid girl. You can't, I know I can't be saved. Ms Wolfe and Ms Kamik imply that I might not last the day.
The thought terrifies me. I've never really thought about death, there's so much I want to do. So much I want to see, more than anything I want you. I want us to be a family. I stare back at you, I can't find the words, someone is shoving a mask on my face. I think about mum, she'll be there, to meet me, so I won't be alone. I know you don't like her, but she's our mum. My only other family member. I don't have a daughter, I don't have anyone but you.
Then you call me, calling Jasmine. Nothing has ever sounded so sweet. I want to be able to say something, but I am tired and I want to sleep. The doctor within me knows that if I do, this is it. I'm not going to last the day. I think back to what you said, about not caring. I know it's not true, Ms Wolfe said that you phoned her, to stop someone causing trouble for me.
I want to thank you. I want to tell you that I am grateful, that you are looking out for me, for protecting me. As my eyes flutter shut, we both know that your not going too for much longer. Your hair always made me think of my rabbit. He was orange, mum named him Jac. I didn't know about you then, but on nights where sleep wouldn't come I used to cuddle him, finding some comfort in that. I told him all my secrets, all my problems. That's why when I saw you the first time, I felt close to you. You were telling rabbit in the human form, obviously an idea of our mum's. But it worked, because I felt so close to you, like we were proper sisters, who braid one another's hair. Because of that toy rabbit, he was my best friend for ages, we moved around so much I didn't really make friends. But that rabbit meant the world to me, just like you do.
I don't think you realise how happy you made me, calling Ms Wolfe like that. I know that you didn't mean those things you said, just like I didn't. It made my week. As I take a breathe, it hits me that one small action actually made my lifetime. Your acceptance of me as your sister, even if I am only your half sister. It's all I've ever wanted. You don't realise how much I love you, I know you don't love me, you tolerate me. At a push you like me. Maybe at some point you will love me. Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I think of you. I think of us, celebrating Christmas and birthdays together, like we didn't have the two polar opposite upbringings. Where we can be a family,
Suddenly, everything doesn't seem that bad. They put my mask on, this time I don't fight them, your here now. I know you care, I can die in peace now. The machine goes off, it's in the background now, as sleep closes in on me, the last thing that I saw was you.