HELLO EVERYONE! How have you been? I miss you guys so much! I was afraid you might think I was dead...NOPE, just writing! To make up for my inactivity, here's a 5,000+ word one shot! Reviews are appreciated as always. Hope you enjoy!
Also just to tease you a little...I've got three one shots planned up next...one is embarrassingly silly, one is quite funny, and the third, well, let's just say I'm going to try and write sad things again. *sigh* but we all know how that goes.
"Doktor?" Heavy rapped lightly on the rusty door to the infirmary. Which, 'rapping lightly' for Heavy meant that he actually unintentionally banged rather forcefully on it, wincing as it echoed through the halls. It wasn't unlike Medic to get so absorbed in his work that he forgets the outside world exists. If it weren't for Heavy, he might have actually starved himself to death on a few occasions. Medic had bailed on their chess game, and he hadn't showed up for dinner, which meant one of two things: either he had started a new project or one of the BLUs had taken him hostage, and Heavy highly doubted the latter.
"Geh weg…" Heavy heard the doctor hiss as the door opened a fraction of an inch. When he realized it was Heavy he sighed and opened the door to allow the Russian to join him in the infirmary. "I didn't realize it vas you," Medic sniffed as he leaned against his desk for support. Heavy looked the doctor over from head to toe and wasn't sure if he should laugh or feel sorry for him.
The only skin showing on him was a small window for his face, and the rest of his body was covered in blankets and clothes that Heavy had never seen before.
"Go ahead und haff a good laugh," Medic waved a hand at him, curling his lip. Heavy just looked at him with concern.
"Doktor is not feeling well?" Heavy offered, but all it did was produce a growl from Medic.
"No, no I am not feeling vell. Vhat kind of a doctor am I if I can't even cure my own cold?" Medic was visibly shivering despite his attire, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve. He must have felt sick if the OCD doctor was soiling his clothes with mucus.
"Even doctors get sick sometimes. You always forget you are part of this team too," Heavy said gently. "We have cease fire today. Something about the BLU Pyro accidentally burning their Spy's wardrobe…another thing about the Spy sending him through respawn so many times the little baby was losing body parts…am not sure though, Soldier was talking too fast." The news brought a small smile to Medic's face and he even chuckled, but the laugh broke off into a coughing fit that doubled him over. Heavy was at his side in an instant but Medic practically shoved him off.
"I-I can't take a day off," Medic drew in a ragged breath, gripping his desk so hard his well-manicured fingernails were gouging marks in the wood. "You dummkopfs vill destroy each other," he glowered at Heavy and the Russian made no move to disagree.
"You have me, and you have Engineer. We will take care of team. Make sure Sniper does not pee in Scout's drink anymore, da?" Heavy tried to make the doctor laugh but Medic just grimaced at the memory.
"Are you sure?" Medic sighed in resignation. Heavy was genuinely surprised. Medic must have felt awful if he wasn't letting his pride get in the way.
"Want me to get Engineer and tell him to keep eye on everyone?" as if on cue, a knock at the door was heard.
"Come in," Medic called and the Texan himself came in with a hand over his goggles.
"Everybody decent?" he asked, not able to hide his amusement at his own joke.
"Yes? Vhy vouldn't ve-" Medic sighed and his head drooped. The jokes hardly got a reaction out of him anymore.
"Jus' checkin'!" Engie said cheerfully and removed his hand. His warm smile faded when he saw the shivering, sniffling, sick doctor. "Y'allright there, doc?" his brow furrowed in concern and he pushed his goggles up on his bare head, allowing his icy blue eyes to see the light of day. He had abandoned his hardhat and overalls for something more casual, as was usual for nearly everyone on cease fire days. He must have just come from his workshop or else his goggles would have been off as well.
"No, I'm not allright. I'm sick," Medic grumbled, his clogged up nose making him sound comical. Engineer would have laughed if it had been anyone else. "It's just a cold. Somezhing so trivial zat even ze medigun cannot fix it. Heavy has told me to take ze day off and I believe I'll take him up on zat offer. I do have some papervork I can do," Medic cast a glance at his desk that was free of all paper.
"Oh, no. Doktor is going to stay in bed," Heavy said firmly, pointing to the door in the back of the infirmary that led to Medic's room.
"Bed?! I can't stay in bed all day!" Medic argued, turning on Heavy and sneering at him. Heavy just stood calmly and crossed his arms over his barrel chest.
"Yes, bed. Even if I have to carry you there." He said, the corners of his mouth twitching up with amusement at seeing the ruffled doctor.
"You vill do no such zhing," Medic hissed and barely dodged Heavy as he bent down to scoop the doctor up. "Allright, allright! I'll stay in bed," Medic put his hands up to block any more attempts at capture. He turned to Engineer who had been watching the scene with a grin on his face. Medic was the only one who could talk back to Heavy and Heavy was the only one who could get the doctor to do something he didn't want to. "Listen, mein freund," Medic sighed as he walked over to Engineer, placing both hands on the man's shoulders. "Please. Please keep zem from killing each ozzer," the pleading in Medic's voice was rare indeed and Engie nodded, laughing heartily.
"Shouldn't be that hard, doc! Heavy and I can do this, can't we big guy?" Heavy made a grunt of affirmation and Medic sighed again, rubbing his face with his hands, pushing his glasses up as he did so.
"Fine. Fine, I'll vork on treating zhis stupid cold," Medic shot Heavy a glare "VHILE resting."
"Good. Toymaker and I will keep eye on team. Will make sure they do not bother you." Heavy motioned with his head that they should leave now and Engie gave Medic a thumbs up with his good hand and followed Heavy out the door.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Engie surveyed the living room. Demo and Pyro were on the couch in front of the TV, watching some old horror movie on the black and white piece of junk. Pyro was curled up, hugging his knees to his chest and turning his head away whenever something scary happened. Engie thought about telling Demo that he shouldn't let Pyro watch stuff like that, but wanted to avoid all forms of conflict. Heavy told Engie that he would be in his room and just yell if he needed something.
He could do this alone.
It was like babysitting.
Babysitting a household comprised of nine volatile, shell shocked, trained killers.
Easy as a slice of apple pie.
Right?
"BLOODY SPOOK!" an outraged roar ripped through the air and Pyro cried out in fear, already on edge from the movie. He flailed around a bit before latching on to Demo, causing the man to drop the bottle he was nursing.
"Ack- Pyro! Git th' bloody firebug offa me!" Demo stood straight up and carried Pyro with him, the little guy clinging onto Demo's chest like a koala.
Sniper burst into the living room, his clothes torn, hat lopsided, and glasses missing.
"Where is he? Where's tha bloody shape shifter!?" he yelled, his gaze roaming the room. Engie didn't know what to do first: dislodge Pyro from Demo's chest, calm Sniper down, or tell Spy to run. Demo was pulling at Pyro but this only caused him to cling tighter, making frightened noises and casting a glance at Engie that he could tell was desperation even under the thick rubber mask. He hesitated, turning his attention back to Sniper who was crouched in a funny way, his head bowed.
He was listening.
Then his head shot up and with a grin he stood and swung his arm out at full speed.
An arc of blood sailed poetically through the air and splattered on the wall as a furious Spy materialized, holding his jaw.
"You…you knocked out my tooth…you uncultured, disgusting, OAF!" Spy snarled, dropping the stolen sunglasses as he straightened to his full height, spitting a copious amount of blood and spit on the floor, wiping his split lips with one of his silk gloves.
"Fellahs," Engie started and then a thumping noise snapped his attention back to Pyro and Demo. Pyro was lying on the floor and trying to climb back up Demo's leg as the Scot yelled furiously and stumbled away. If someone didn't calm Pyro down soon he was going to burn the base down.
"Guys," Engie said again, moving to console his friend but an agonized cry from Sniper made him whirl back around. The lanky man was doubled over, holding his midsection, trying to suck a breath in. He picked his head back up and Spy delivered a chop with the side of his hand right over the bridge of Sniper's nose. His head snapped back and he crumpled to the ground. Sniper wasn't made for hand to hand combat. He was going to lose.
"Men!" Engie said more forcefully but his efforts were lost as Sniper came alive again, grabbing Spy's ankle and pulling him down so fast the Frenchman fell hard, banging his head on the wooden floor. Sniper immediately saw this advantage and straddled the Frenchman, wrapping his hands around his throat.
Now, wrestling was very different than fist fighting.
Spy was going to lose.
"Engie?" someone yelled behind him. Exasperated, Engie turned around to see a very guilty looking Soldier standing with a limp body in his arms. "Don't be mad at me." Soldier demanded but lowered his head like a child being scolded by a parent. "I think I killed Scout."
Engie felt anger bubble inside of him and a growl rising in his throat.
"BOYS!" he barked, his gentle voice edged with frustration. Immediately everyone stopped what they were doing. An angry Engineer was ten times scarier than an angry Medic.
Pyro was frozen with his fingers dug into Demo's leg and Demo paused with his leg still raised. Sniper had nearly half of his hand up under Spy's balaclava, one thumb pressed into his eye. Spy was fruitlessly holding a fistful of Sniper's hair and the other hand was on his mask, trying to keep it on.
"I told you," Soldier said and everyone turned around just in time to see Scout's corpse give a slight tremor before it shivered and seemed to fade into light, disappearing completely.
"Everyone to the respawn room. Now." Engie said quietly and everyone obeyed him, shuffling guiltily in a line.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
They all slowly made their way to the respawn room and settled down, heads bowed, waiting to be scolded. Heavy stood, waiting for Scout to appear so he could calm the boy down. It wasn't long before the gentle and familiar swooshing was heard and a shape that vaguely resembled a body began materializing on the floor. They all watched with bored expressions as Scout, healed and fully clothed, laid unconscious on the tiled floor. His eyes flew open, a terrified expression twisting on his face.
"Guuhh…" was the only noise he managed to make as his body tensed up like he was having a seizure, curling his limbs in on himself. Heavy sprang into action, grabbing the boy by the shoulders and holding him until he stopped tensing, calming him down so he didn't hurt himself. Spy began sniggering at the sad display and Sniper reached up and smacked him in the back of the head.
"Gap it, aye. Leave tha poor mongrel alone," he growled and Spy glared at him, rubbing the back of his head. After Scout was more or less in sorts he sat in the corner, drawing his knees up to his skinny chest, a furious blush turning his ears red.
"It ain't funny," he said defensively. "Need I remind all of you of your embarrassin' respawn stories?" Scout pulled his hat over his eyes and Engie went to stand beside of him.
"Nobody's makin' fun of you, Scout." Engie said quietly and the rest of the men avoided eye contact with him. "Now, I need all of you to listen here and listen good. Medic is sick." Spy snorted at this piece of information and shook his head.
"And zis is the man that we let dig around inside of our open chest cavities? What kind of doctor can't even cure his own cold?" Spy took a drag of his cigarette and rubbed at the black eye Sniper had given him. Heavy grunted from the corner, reminding Spy of his presence. The Frenchman regarded the Russian with a glance and he shut his mouth before Heavy decided to shut it for him.
"Spah, please. I think we should try our very best to leave the doctor alone and let him get better, right? The last thing we need on our hands is a sick, angry Medic. I think we can all agree on that." Nods of agreement went around the circle. "Can we all try not to mortally wound ourselves for the next twenty four hours? Ah can set up a dispenser, but we all know that's nothin' compared to the doctor's expertise. And tha only other one around here with any medical knowledge is Solly." Engie cast his friend a glance and Soldier stiffened up, saluting Engineer at the mention of his name.
"So what are we supposed ta do? Sit and play cahds for an entire day? Wrap ourselves in bubble wrap and feathers? Build a pillow fort?" Scout's embarrassment was obviously forgotten as he laughed humorlessly at his own suggestions. At the mention of a pillow fort, a gasp of excitement came from Pyro and he clasped his hand together, nodding enthusiastically.
"Great. Now you've got ze mumbling abomination riled up," Spy sighed and began walking towards the exit. "Have fun with your pillow fort," he said, waving a hand dismissively. He paused right at the exit, fiddled with his watch, shimmered once, and then cloaked with a swirl of smoke.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Everyone slowly meandered out of the respawn room to go off and do their own thing. Heavy saw Scout lean over and whisper something to Pyro which obviously excited the firebug and the two ran off together, Scout laughing excitedly. That was good. Even if Scout's intelligence wasn't necessarily the first thing attributed to him, the boy was smart enough to keep Pyro from burning down the base, and Pyro was smart enough to keep Scout from killing himself again.
Now he was going to check on his doctor.
Not even bothering to knock, Heavy opened the door to a gasp followed by colorful, if hushed German swear words.
"You're going to give me a heart attack!" Medic said as he stood, a scowl on his face. "I'm old, you know. Ze slightest little noise could set me off. And zhen boop! I'm dead!" Medic laughed nervously as he walked around his desk. Heavy was not amused.
"You are not resting. Told you to rest," he said, crossing his arms and looking down at the doctor. Medic sighed dramatically and smacked Heavy on the arm with a rolled up piece of paper.
"I don't need to rest! I'm-" whatever Medic was about to say was cut off as he gasped sharply, and then let out a sneeze that travelled through his own body and if Heavy's arm hadn't been within reach, he would have fallen to his knees. He took a few short breaths and then wiped his nose, groaning. Heavy just rolled his eyes and tried to hide the smile that was threatening to turn up the corners of his mouth.
"Come, you are going to rest," he wasted no time in scooping Medic up like a baby, cradling him in his arms.
"Put me down!" Medic barked, trying to push himself away from Heavy.
"Oh, you want to do hard way?" Heavy growled and then Medic's entire world went funny as his stomach turned. He blinked, and suddenly realized he'd been flipped over onto his stomach and was now draped over Heavy's shoulder.
"You oaf! Put me down zhis instant!" Medic did not like being manhandled. It could have been the situation or it could have been the potent cold medicine but Medic found himself giggling as he beat of Heavy's back, knowing his punches were doing absolutely nothing to the bear.
"I do not listen to naughty doctors," Heavy replied simply and Medic took a fist full of his shirt, clinging on as he felt Heavy begin to walk.
Then the door opened.
"Doc, oi know yer sick but," Medic snapped his head up, straining to see who it was.
Sniper stood with his hat in his hands, staring at Medic hanging off of Heavy's shoulders with one of Heavy's massive arms wrapped around his waist to hold him in place.
"Sniper-" Medic started but the man just put his hat on his head and walked out with both hands in the air. Medic sighed and let his head hit the back of Heavy's shoulders. "I can valk now," Medic said.
"Am not letting tiny koala man offend me! Am going to tuck doctor in bed," Heavy said as he made for Medic's room again.
"You are NOT going to tuck me in bed!" Medic said, doubling his efforts trying to escape by kicking as well. "Heavy! Do you hear me?" he yelled in his ear. "Put me down, you hulking BEAST!"
"Misha!"
"MISHA LET GO OF ME!"
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Spy shuddered as he heard the two disappear into Medic's room. The doctor certainly sounded sick enough, so he wasn't just trying to lay out or was conspiring with the BLUs. He uncloaked, patting his suit for his lighter as he stuck a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.
He was bored.
Well, time to engage in his favorite pastime.
Getting into everyone else's business.
Should he mess with the bushman? No…he'd already pissed him off enough for one day. Spy absentmindedly probed the hole in his mouth where his canine had once been. Unfortunately, Sniper's grotesquely calloused and quite filthy hands couldn't have knocked out one of his fake, hollow teeth. He had to go and knock out one that was actually there. It didn't hurt so much anymore but it was enough to be irritating every time his tongue touched the spot. If he was anything, he was a vain, but it wasn't like he did a lot of smiling anyway. The doctor could fix it when he was well enough.
Spy paused outside of Scout's room. He heard the boy's braying guffaw even through the plywood walls. Spy narrowed his eyes. Who else was in there with him? The door wasn't shut all the way…Spy could easily slip in if he wanted to and blame it on a draft.
So that's what he did. He cloaked and waited for the minimal smoke to clear before just slightly nudging the door open with his foot. He peered in the door and saw that he didn't need to use wind as a scape goat.
He stood rigidly, trying to understand what he was looking at.
Scout's bed was standing on its end, the mattress stripped from it, leaving just the metal frame. His sheet was tied around the legs of the bed, creating a tent like effect across the room. He could see Scout's silhouette and what had to be Pyro sitting inside the little blanket-tent-thing. Scout was talking so fast Spy wasn't even going to begin to try and understand him but Pyro was making noises that sounded like prompts for Scout to go on.
It dawned on Spy.
They had actually made a pillow fort.
These two grown men…well, probably both men had built a pillow fort like a couple of teenage girls at a sleepover.
Why did this not surprise him.
Spy rolled his eyes to himself and turned to leave, but he made the grave mistake of forgetting he was in Scout's room.
His expensive leather shoe connected with the stray baseball before he could even register it was there. Spy gave a slight yelp and he was rocketed backward by his own accord, the baseball from Hell rolling nonchalantly out of the way after it had done its damage.
He braced himself to fall back on the hard wood flooring but instead he fell straight into the little tent, landing on a very surprised Scout. The runner gave a shout of alarm as Spy's bony frame was smashed into him, pinning him to the ground. The sheet fell over everyone and Scout began thrashing, not yet knowing who or what was attacking him.
Spy felt a swell of fear lance through his bones. A panicked Scout was a scary Scout. They often teased him about begin so small but Spy knew if he kept wriggling like that, one of those powerful legs was going to connect with a vital body part. Being kicked by Scout was comparable to being kicked by a horse.
"It's just me! It's Spy! It's-" Spy's world exploded into stars and he felt immediately everything went curiously quiet. He felt something trickling down the side of his face and he reached up to touch it, feeling wetness seep through his glove. He took his hand away and saw a thick, dark liquid smeared over his fingers.
What a pretty red color.
Heh. Red. Like their team. How funny.
Going to sleep would be pretty awesome right about now.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I KILLED SPY HE'S GONNA MURDER ME WHEN HE GETS OUT OF RESPAWN I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS HE'S GONNA STALK ME AND DRIVE ME INSANE AND USE HIS PSYCHO-BULLCRAP AND MESS WITH MY HEAD AND MAKE ME JUST AS CRAZY A SOLDIER OH MY GOD WHAT IF DAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO SOLDIER WHAT IF-MHMHM MMF-" Scout's hysteria was silenced only by Pyro shoving his hand in his mouth. Scout gagged around his fingers and shoved the firebug off of him. "You taste like-" Scout gagged again "Like gasoline," he let his tongue hang loosely out of his mouth for emphasis.
"Hrr's nrrt rrrsprrning…" Pyro pointed to the body of Spy who was still lying there, blood trickling out of his ear.
"Maybe I just knocked him out…but hey, I knocked Spy out with one kick, how cool is that?" Scout boasted, sitting up on his haunches to display his thighs. Pyro took this as an invitation to reach out and grab Scout's left thigh, squeezing lightly. Scout blushed furiously and pulled away. "Hey now, don't fag up on me…" he warned. He still wasn't even sure if Pyro WAS a man.
A knock on the door had both of them snapping their heads around to look.
"Is everythin' allright in there? I heard a loud-" Engie poked his head in the door and saw the bloody, unconscious Spy, the terrified Scout, and the ever-unreadable Pyro who slowly reached out to squeeze Scout's thigh again. "Get in the living room. Now. And bring him," Engie growled and slammed the door. Scout sighed and just gently moved Pyro's hand off of him and they worked together to pick Spy up.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Honestly, those boys. If it weren't for Engie the whole base would be in mass chaos for sure.
He turned the corner into the kitchen to grab himself a drink when he heard something coming from the living room.
It was a hushed voice, too low to make out a distinguishing accent.
"Cuirimid fáilte roimh..."
Engie crept close until he could see that all the lights were turned off in the common room but the voice kept speaking.
"…duit san áit OH biotáille ..."
Engie saw a faint glow coming from the middle of the room and saw two large, nearly identical silhouettes.
"… ba mhaith linn duit a leagan do lámha ar ár gcara daor Medic agus a iarraidh go mbeadh tú a bhaint a ailments má sé a bheith do Beidh ..."
Engie flicked on the lights.
"YOU SAID THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY GHOSTS YOU FILTHY FOREIGNER!" Engie heard Soldier's yelling before he even saw the man, and then all of a sudden there was a horrendous crashing as a table flew across the room.
"Bloody HELL Sol!" Demo hollered as he stood, his nostrils flaring and fists clenched.
"I'm sorry, can someone explain to me what is going on in here? What about ghosts?" he strolled calmly, hoping his presence would calm Soldier down a bit.
"This cross-dressing Neanderthal is trying to get me POSSESSED!" Soldier pointed an accusing finger in Demo's face. The Scots' one pupil dilated noticeably and he ground his teeth together.
"Git yer sausage finger outta me face 'fore ai bite it off," he growled.
"Everyone calm down a second. No one is trying to…possess you Sol," Engie sighed, remembered that arguing with Soldier did about as much good as digging a hole just to argue with it.
"We were havin' a ritual to help th'doc git better. Jus' a simple healin' prayer," Demo explained, gesturing to a few strange objects now scattered from Sol's outburst. A ring of strange, red powder was around the floor where they had been sitting.
"Is this brick dust?" Engie said, nudging a bit with the toe of his boot. Demo seemed to be practicing Wicken and Hoodoo and everything else all at once. He got even more confused when he saw a small golden crucifix that had somehow not been tipped over in the fray.
"A little…help…heah?" they heard Scout pant as he burst in the door with a very unconscious Spy draped over his shoulders.
"Lay him on the couch," Engie sighed as Scout unceremoniously dumped the Frenchman on the couch.
Spy said something along the lines of "Grrng" as Soldier pried an eyelid open with two fingers. He tipped his helmet back to have a better look and then grunted, opening the other eye.
"He's got a concussion," Soldier confirmed Engie's suspicions. Spy's eyelids suddenly fluttered open and he looked around the room at everyone.
"Where am I?" he patted the couch like he had never seen one before and then winced. "I zink I broke my…brain," Spy said slowly, as his eyes roamed, barely able to track anything. His accent was so thick it took all the men a moment to understand him.
"Can ye tell us wha' happn'd?" Demo prompted.
"I think I fell off my horse," Spy panted, slowly slipping back into unconsciousness. Everyone was silent for a moment before Scout slapped both hands over his mouth in a vain attempt to cover his laughter.
"Spy used to ride horses?" Engie said to no one in particular.
"Well we know he rides other things..." Scout snickered then scowled as Engie elbowed him in the ribs.
"Not funny. Should we just kill him?"
In this moment they had to decide between an angry Medic or an angry Spy.
It was a very, very difficult choice that no one wanted to make.
They all sat in uncomfortable silence for a bit, hoping that Spy's breathing would just…quit.
But then their solution walked right in the door in the form of six feet two inches of gangly limbs and body hair.
"Afternoon!" Sniper said cheerfully as he strolled to the kitchen to refill his coffee mug. Everyone pounced on him at once, crowding the poor man into a corner.
"IT IS YOUR DUTY AS AN AMERICAN TO TELL THE DOCTOR SCOUT KILLED SPY"
"We think'd it'd be real kind iffen ya could tell the doc-"
"I didn't mean to, allright, he was sneakin' around and scared me!"
"Mmph mhphm mff!"
"Has anyone seen m' gold Jesus?"
They had all decided that Sniper needed to tell Medic the news. After all, who could be mad at Sniper?
"Well, uh, listen, oi," Sniper stammered, overwhelmed by the amount of people yelling in his face and only pushing him further against the wall.
Quiet coughing made them all go still.
A very sick Medic stood in the doorframe, leaning against it for support. He had his fluffy white bathrobe around him and pajama pants with little white doves on them. It felt almost immoral seeing the pristine doctor with bloodshot eyes and rumpled hair.
"Vhy did I zhink I could leave you all alone? Look at zhis place. I finally convince Heavy he needs to rest as vell and zhen I come in here to find zhis. Tables overturned, you're all yelling at ze poor bushman, and is zhis-" Medic gasped as he saw the mess of red powder on the floor. "Is zhat BRICK DUST?" his voice rose about an octave and he clipped his accent thicker, just those two words making all the men wince.
"And Spy is probably dead," Scout piped up. Medic furrowed his thick eyebrows and followed the boy's gaze to a very pale Spy breathing shallowly on the couch.
"Gott in Himmel, he's bleeding!" Medic groaned as he crouched down next to Spy. Blood was still trickling out of his ear and there was a slowly spreading dark spot on his balaclava where his nose had begun to bleed. Without hesitation the doctor picked Spy up, only grunting slightly under his weight. He had carried Scout up ten flights of stairs before but he wasn't sick then, and while Spy wasn't much heavier than Scout he was still a grown man. When the doctor had first entered the room he looked a bit…frail. He looked his age. Gaunt cheeks and bags under his eyes…but as he lifted the Frenchmen with only slight effort everyone saw his back tighten and his biceps strain against his shirt and suddenly forgot about his effeminate ways and the year he was born. "All of you stay in here and clean up. I'm going to haff to remove his mask und I don't zhink he'd be very happy viz me if you vere all present!" Medic snapped.
"Wait, you've seen Spy maskless?" Scout said. Medic rolled his eyes and hefted the man higher in his arms as he walked to the infirmary. "Wait-is he really ugly? Or like deformed?" Scout called down the hall. Unsurprisingly, there was no answer.
"Probably," Sniper growled as he went to get the broom.