Major Bernie Wolfe walked in through the doors of Holby at last, cautiously revelling in the familiarity of it all. It was like she'd never left. The sounds and sights of AAU made her breathe a sigh of relief. Nothing seemed to have changed. Apart from…
She had her back to her but Bernie knew that stance, that gaudy blouse (there was only one person here who would wear it) and that constant companion coffee cup sitting next to her. She couldn't hear her over the rabble but she didn't need to to remember that voice and that laugh. She strode forward and touched her on the shoulder, startling her into turning around. There she was, that same face and expressive dark eyes. She knew she'd taken a risk in not telling Serena when she'd be back but she hoped it would pay off.
'Hi' was all she managed to say.
Serena stared back at her in surprise. They stood looking at each other, the world fading out around them.
'I came back.' Bernie shyly tucked her hair behind her ear. She didn't know what to make of this ghastly quiet Serena, no trace of her usual mirth in her face. She was looking at her like she'd never seen her before. She whispered her greeting so quietly Bernie thought she'd imagined it. There was an agonizing silence in which Bernie's heart thumped so hard she thought it would burst out of her chest. Why had she thought this was a good idea?
Serena startled her by turning around and walking to her - their office. Well it was hers now, as it was before Bernie had arrived to fuck it up like she usually did. Bernie hovered, not sure what to do until Serena stopped at the door and looked at her, expression unfathomable. Bernie knew it was her cue to follow.
She shut the door behind her and looked around the room. It looked much the same as she had left it. She looked at Serena, leaning on the desk. Away from the bustle, she could finally gauge her mood. She wasn't happy. Bernie could see the steel in her eyes. She started to fidget, her nervousness showing.
'I'm glad you're back.'
'I know you're angry with me.'
'Of course I am.' Her voice was measured and controlled but Bernie could see what she was likely to explode if she was unwise enough to ignite it. She couldn't see a way out apart from either being ejected from the office or left alone as Serena stormed out.
'You've changed your hair' she observed.
The fuchsia shirt was certainly new and so was this severe silvery grey crop. She hoped it wasn't a sign of grief. Serena prided herself on being well put together. She still did with this new look but Bernie wouldn't have thought that she'd voluntarily go grey. Was that a slight smile she saw tugging at Serena's eyes? She hoped so.
'I decided to let go and not to be so controlling of everything. It's quite liberating not to be a slave to your hair.'
Bernie was glad to hear it and said so. The atmosphere seemed to thaw out but still Serena wouldn't make the first move. It wasn't up to her.
The seconds ticked by and Bernie tried to think of what to say next. She had so much to say but never found a way of expressing it well. Then she remembered something. She walked up to the woman she'd left behind for a year and leaned next to her. She took out the token of regard she'd carried with her all this time in her bag. She placed it on the table next to Serena's resting hand. The white queen chess piece.
Serena stared at it with anguished eyes. Bernie hoped that she'd done the right thing. She hoped Serena still had hers. It was a wordless reminder of their affection for each other. Their eyes locked and Bernie could see the battle going on in Serena's mind. If she accepted, they would have a chance at patching this up. The heat flared between them and Bernie suddenly felt no hesitation. She was willing to do whatever it took to get the other woman back. She smiled tentatively and felt the calm steal over her.
Serena had been studying her intensely and made up her mind while looking at the other pair of eyes. She turned to her side of the desk and opened the drawer, deliberately placing the black queen chess piece next to its counterpart. They looked at their union laid out on the desk, proof that they hadn't forgotten each other.
Bernie sighed with relief and Serena finally relaxed to let a slow sunny smile break across her face. Bernie had been waiting to see that smile for a year, hating herself for being the reason for extinguishing it.
'I'm not going anywhere' Bernie promised her. This time it was Serena who drew her closer to curl her arms around her neck, to nudge her face against hers. Bernie gratefully rubbed noses with her, arms snaking around her waist and holding her tight. They stayed like that for a long time, forgetting the world outside the door. They had a long way to go but they had made the all important first step together. With pilfered pieces of a game they both got bored easily by. Nobody else knew what that meant.