Hello, this my first FanFiction. I hope you enjoy it. Please review. If you flame, they will be used to roast marshmallows.
And without further ado...
50 Ways to Annoy, Torment, Frighten, or Generally Harass Sosuke Aizen
1. Invite him to go streaking.
2. Set him up on a blind date with Mayuri Kurotsichi.
3. Quote Hanataro Yamada. Insist HE will someday rule supreme.
4. Sign him up for little league.
5. Tell him Grimmjow has a crush on him.
6. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
7. Hide his Pokemon card collection.
8. Buy him a stress ball.
9. Yodel.
10. Have Rukia draw out his evil scheme in full color and detail.
11. Frame the drawings and hang them up in his office.
12. Make faces at him when he turns away.
13. Yaoi.
14. Write him a disgustingly sappy love letter.
15. Sign it: Love,
Shunsui Kyoraku.
16. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
17. Draw lofty parallels between his life and 'Harry Potter'.
18. Barbeque and eat his zanpakuto. Offer him some.
19. Sign him up for ballet.
20. Start a good behavior chart. Make sure to give out gold stars.
21. Constantly mispronounce his name.
22. Buy him a jump rope for his birthday and make sure it's the only present he gets.
23. During Arrancar meetings, drag out a banjo and sing 'Kumbayah'.
24. Ask him, "Did you ever have a girlfriend? Like, ever?"
25. Replace his current uniform with a Superman costume, complete with a cape and spandex tights.
26. Whenever he happens to be within earshot, lead the Arrancar in a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright and Beautiful'.
27. Belt out Bob Marley and Beach Boys tunes all the time.
28. Throw Tupperware parties for him. Insist he sit through them.
29. Wonder audibly if the name 'Sosuke Aizen' commands as much respect as say, 'Shinji Hirako' or 'Kisuke Urahara'.
30. Constantly chew on a piece of straw. Should he question you, flick him in the face with the fuzzy end.
31. Attempt to teach him to speak Portuguese.
32. Take him to the hair salon. Tell the stylist that he's going for the 'Ikkaku Madarame' look.
33. Give him an intense Botox treatment while he is asleep. Tell him that it's done wonders for Gin.
34. Ask him how he could possibly wish to harm a single orange hair on that sweet, adorable little boy's head.
35. Ask him he's why he's afraid of a frail old man and that dear, sweet nurse with a braid the size of the Kuchiki mansion.
36. Tell him you personally think that Momo could easily whoop his ass.
37. If you ever happen to be eating with him, play with your food, chew with your mouth open, drum beats with your utensils, and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
38. Leave large amounts of candy outside his bedroom door. Tell him Ukitake sent it.
39. Tell him you think evil plans for world domination are "Kind of girly,"
40. Insist you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than him.
41. If you ever have to say, "Like taking candy from a baby," Pause slightly, then add, "Of course, some of us may find that harder than others." Stare pointedly at him.
42. Anytime he calls you, "Insufferable fool," or "Useless trash," or anything similar, take it as a high complement and attempt to glomp him.
43. Dress up as Kenpachi Zaraki for Halloween. Ask him if your costume makes him feel nostalgic.
44. Give the Vizards detailed information on his current proceedings and whereabouts.
45. Throw him a Naruto themed birthday party. Invite all his former comrades. Make sure everyone cosplays.
46. Convince him that it is opposite day and make him wear a green-and-white striped pimp hat.
47. Dye his hair pink while he is asleep. Insist that this is to channel his inner Yachiru.
48. When he goes into battle against the Soul Society, make him wear garish war paint and synthetic feathers. Nothing else.
49. Pelt him with biscuits. Constantly.
50. Sing "It's a Small World After All." any chance you get.
Please Review.
~Amami-chan