Hey Guys! This is my second Mortal Instruments fanfic. I'm hoping for more reviews this time, even though it's just another one-shot. This is just something that's been in my head for a while after watching too much tv. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the yellow nail polish sitting on top of this computer desk.

"I thought you lost your virginity to Magnus?!"

"Uhmm no. Actually, I gave my virginity to this guy named Matt when I was 16. At least I think his name was Matt."

"Matt?!"

"Well it could've been Greg!"

I came home from Magnus' apartment and my mother started hounding me again. Ever since we came home from Idris and I came out of the closet, she wants us all to talk more and all of that crap.

"And how did you meet this Matt/Greg?"

"He kept checking me out at this club I was at and one thing led to another. . ."

"Alexander! Club? You went to clubs!"

"Only that one time!"

"Does Magnus know all of this?"

"Of course he does mom."

"Why tell him and not your father and me?" She gave me one of those looks. You know that look that your mom gives you when she's angry and wants the total truth or your dead meat. I was getting agitated.

"Because he's my lover!"

"AND I WENT THROUGH NINETEEN HOURS OF LABOR JUST SO YOU COULD ENTER THIS WORLD!!"

Damn it. I hated when she throws that card on the table. I mean, what do you say to that?

"Maryse. . ."

My father walked into the room. Thank the Angel that I was saved.

"Robert! Your son went to clubs and met random men two years ago when he was sixteen!"

While my mom was going on her rant, dad gave me one of his own looks. That dad look that's like Way to Go Kid. He even gave me thumbs up. I laughed. But the rare father-son moment between us was broken when my mom said something that I had accidently divulged to her when I cracked after all her questioning earlier today.

"He even had an affair with a 27 year old that was already married! Married to a woman! How did we not notice any of this in your own household, Robert? Did we really think he went on that many walks!? By the angel!"

Mom had finally finished. The room was quiet and my dad just stared at me for a good ten seconds before asking. . .

"What's your favorite sexual position?"

There was real curiosity in his voice.

Moms' ranting started up again.

And they wonder why I never tell them anything.