A/N For Julie as requested.
I'll admit I have not followed Texas' story that closely so I hope that anybody reading this is not too annoyed if it is not that true to the show. Short first chapter just to see how you feel about it. If anybody has suggestions for how they think Texas/Jodie should go please feel free to share :)
Hope - Chapter One
People forget don't they? Forget what others have endured in their life. At first people try to be caring, worry about you, constantly reminding you of the bad stuff. But then they get bored, expect you to be magically okay, to carry on with your life as if nothing ever happened.
Texas was running. She could feel the rush of air against her face, she could feel her heart beating, trying to burst under the pressure, her limbs were growing heavier and heavier, but still she tried to continue through the pain that was shooting throughout her entire body. She could still hear her name being called out ahead of her driving her onwards, pushing her further into the woods. She gasped for breath as she pressed on further into the deep darkness of the trees, but there was no time to pause.
Then she finally glimpsed her. India. She was standing in a small clearing in the trees, calling to Texas over and over to help her. Texas tried to close the distance between them, reach her sister, and get her to safety. Her legs wouldn't move though, they were too heavy from all the running. It felt like she was sinking into quicksand, she could not lift her feet from the ground. Texas struggled and struggled, but it felt like the weight of the Earth was bearing down on her. India's shouts were growing increasingly frantic. There seemed to be a dark shadow growing, creeping forwards into the clearing. Texas strained harder willing her exhausted body to move. The shadow seemed to encroach further into the clearing, and then it reached where India was standing. Texas watched in horror as she saw her beautiful sister begin to be eclipsed behind the darkness. Texas tried to scream at India to run, but as with her body she seemed to have no control over her voice. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.
Texas sat bolt upright in bed the silent scream dying on her lips. She was covered in a thin film of perspiration and panting like she really had just been running in her sleep. Her room was dark, it was still the middle of the night. The dreams visited her frequently. Always the same. Her trying to save India from her fate, and never being able to. She tried to choke back a sob as her body began to wind down from the exertion of her dream. She felt so alone. Nobody knew about these dreams. It seemed everybody else had all moved on from the recent events. It was almost like now the murderer had been captured everyone had shut the book on that particular story. They had all moved on, and they exected her to have done so as well.
Texas never stopped thinking of India though, how she was responsible for her death, how it was her fault that she was so brutally murdered. The feeling of blame had nearly consumed her at first. She felt it should have been her that had died, not her sweet innocent sister and for a time it seemed like she would right that wrong. Or at least the part that she could. Back then she had dreamt of joining her sister, both in sleep and in consciousness.
Even in those dreams she couldn't reach India. In those dreams India had been standing shining, ethereal, angel-like, basking in a warm silvery glow. As Texas had tried to run towards her she was always aware of a fiery heat behind her. She would try to ignore it until she felt herself being overtaken by the licks of the flames from the fire that was chasing her. She would turn just in time to see the fiery red heat consume her, before trying to reach again for India to drag her from the flames. But the angry billows of black smoke would obscure India from view.
Texas was not sure she necessarily believed in heaven and hell, but should it turn out they did exist she imagined she would be separated from her sister for all eternity. She was sure that her behaviour after the event would seal her fate in the fiery pits of any hell, real or imaginary. She had spiralled to a dark place. She had just wanted to forget back then. Block out all thoughts, memories, and feelings. She indulged in drugs, drank heavily, looked for a messed-up kind of satisfaction in losing herself in meaningless sex with any guy willing. Texas did not care what would happen to herself back then. She had already lost everything she cared about.