Note: I had some time because of Hurricane Sandy, so it was just a little something I whipped up! Also, not my usual style!
I do not have anything against religion btw.
Promise Me You'll Stay
Promise me you'll stay.
.
All her life she had been sheltered and in being so, she saw the world in black and white. There was good, and there was evil. There was no in between so she never truly experienced the world. Her parents guarded her, creating a blockade to keep her in her own little world. Her own world made up of private school, educational television, and unicorns and rainbows. They kept her innocence locked up tight where no one could get to it. Taint it.
Except that, they never foresaw that a girl would disguise herself as good and wholesome, forced into going to a nice Christian private school as well as church twice a day on Sunday. They never saw it coming that said girl would breach their security and break down the walls holding their daughter's thoughts and ideals so that she was actually able to see the world as it was for once in her life.
When they first learned of their daughter's friendship with a girl that should have been saint like and pure, but instead wicked and twisted, they warned their daughter to stay away from her. They warned her that this girl was evil and that one day she would be able to see that. But their daughter protested, giggling and laughing, telling her parents that her friend was a good girl inside. She wasn't wretched, or reputable or any of the big words that they used. She informed her parents that they just needed to get to know her better.
Still her parents told her that Jade was bad.
And if only she had heeded their admonitions.
.
It was first grade when the mean girl first transferred to Saltwood Christian School, or SCS for short. She quickly made herself known with her silent remonstrances, such as refusing to share anything with anyone as well as turning away whenever someone tried to talk to her. The only people in the school that she would talk to was the authority.
Cat had overheard some nasty rumors made about her as well from kids that were in the fifth and sixth grade (because everyone knew about this girl; she had a way of making herself known even though she never said a word). They said that Jade had gotten expelled from her old school because she was always cheating on her tests, and if that wasn't bad enough, apparently she was smoking. But whenever Cat glanced over at the new girl, she found it hard to believe that someone that looked that innocent could have, dare she ever say it aloud, smoke.
So inquisitive little Cat decided to go up and ask Jade what was true and what wasn't. After all, what was the worst that could happen Cat figured, watching Jade who was currently sitting in her desk, doing nothing but staring at the board.
"Hey Jade!" she chirped happily, because even when she was younger she was extremely happy go lucky and just filled with glee. Of course, Jade didn't answer. Instead she sat with her arms crossed over her chest in a defiant manner, a smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth. Unnerved, Cat's smile that she had initially greeted Jade with faltered.
"Jade?" she asked again, this time slightly louder. Jade continued to glare forward. Maybe she was hard of hearing? So Cat waved her hand quickly in and out of Jade's eyesight. This time, Jade snapped her head to look at Cat, a frown sprawled across her face. Cat had thought the half smirk was creepy, but Jade's frown made her insides shiver.
"I-I'm Cat," the small brunette pushed forward bravely, gathering herself. But Jade didn't answer and even though Cat knew she shouldn't have expected any differently since Jade did not speak one word unless a teacher told her to, she couldn't help but feel disappointed. "And I just finished coloring this tiger, you want to see it?" Cat tried to break the ice. Still, Jade remained motionless and Cat felt herself begin to panic, feeling nervous. "I c-can go get it right now i-if you want...It won't take long...Unless you don't want to see it...Then I...I'm...it...I'm sorry!" Cat suddenly burst out, tears lining her brown eyes.
"I'm sorry!" she repeated, feeling the need to apologize again when Jade didn't answer because somehow she felt like she had wronged Jade horrifically by even standing near her. Or at least, that was the message she was getting from Jade's stature. "Do you forgi-"
"Just shut up already!" Jade finally barked, her eyebrows arching down menacingly, losing her cool for about the seventh time since she got here a week ago. Cat stumbled backwards, silver tears running down her now red flushed cheeks.
"Y-you s-s-said the 'S' word!" Cat accused, on the verge of having a meltdown. Luckily, the teacher intervened and quickly separated the pair, grabbing Jade harshly by the arm and yelling out of the classroom across the hall for another teacher to come assist the now bawling Caterina.
"How do you know it's my fault and not hers!" Jade growled. "I didn't do anyth-"
"Stop Jade," the teacher reprimanded the tallest girl in Cat's class. That shushed Jade and she presumed to pout. Cat noticed that Jade looked like she was about to explode from pent up anger. Cat, through all her tears, managed to collect herself enough to scrunch up her nose and stick her tongue out at Jade. This got the other girl fired up and she started yelling. Hollering. Fortunately for Cat, the teacher took a firm hold of Jade's wrist and began to drag her to the office, but Jade, in an attempt to piss her teacher off, plopped down on the ground in protest.
"Jade West, I swear," Cat heard the teacher discipline Jade and Cat took this opportunity to do what any insanely immature child would do. She wiped her eyes, the stream of tears having subsided a few seconds ago, pointed at Jade, made a face, and proceeded to pretend laugh and snicker at Jade. Jade's eyes grew wide and she made a lunging movement, but the teacher still held the taller girl by the wrist so Jade just ended up looking like an idiot trying to get at Cat, hands flailing against the air. This time when the teacher pulled her into the hall, Jade went, although not without a scowl and an 'I'll-get-you' look at Cat.
Cat's face paled a little bit as she realized what she could have just triggered.
But, she was lucky and the next day at school, Jade didn't even talk to her. Didn't even throw one tiny glance towards her like she had forgotten yesterday's events. Whatever happened to her the other day, it must have been bad, Cat supposed, because why else wouldn't the girl be at her throat right now?
But, whatever. Cat didn't care. She hated Jade and thought it was better if they acted like each other just didn't exist at all.
In fifth grade, however, things changed. Long forgotten was the little outbreak the two had four years ago, and the pair lived their lives normally, ignoring each other except not out of hatred anymore, just because of the sheer fact that they didn't know each other. No, it was like the had a clean slate, and it was a good thing they did or what happened next might not have ever happened at all.
"Oh, I can't! I have a church thing this Saturday, sorry!" Cat exclaimed, her lower lip puffing out in a demonstration of her sorrow. The other girl shuffled her feet and looked down.
"You always have something going on with Church that's, like, not just on Sunday," the other girl stated disappointedly. Cat just stared at the other girl sadly for a brief moment before her face lit up and she looked like she was about to say something when Jade, who, ironically, had been writing on the board a few feet away 'I will not interrupt' over and over again (she was to spend all lunch period doing so) interrupted the conversation, interjecting with her own thoughts (since she had found her voice in the third grade).
"Church is stupid."
Cat and her friend gasped at the audacious comment.
"Jade!" Cat exclaimed, horrified.
"Caterina!" Jade threw back with mock astonishment, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You can't just hate Chu-"
"Don't tell me what to do!"
"But you can't j-"
"I said not to tell me what to do!"
"But-"
"Shut up!"
Cat opened her mouth, prepared to say something back, but quickly shut it in her better judgement. Her friend glanced at her bemusedly, clearly enjoying that someone was telling Cat off about how ridiculous it was that she was always involved with her church. The whole grade was aware that Cat was obsessed with anything good and wholesome, and truth be told, if they had been watching this interaction, they might have even cheered for Jade, even if they were friends with Cat.
"Good girl," Jade praised and, for good measure, strode over to Cat and patted her on the head quite like one would do to a dog. Her friend restrained herself from laughing and motioned to Cat that she was going to go. Then, without waiting for Cat's confirmation, she left. Cat quickly turned to leave, but Jade caught her shoulder.
"Not so fast," she spat and grabbed Cat's arm tightly. She tugged Cat towards the board and then let go, looking over the twenty or so sentences she had written down. It was beginning to fill up the board. Jade grabbed a piece of chalk from the chalk holder and forced it in Cat's hand. Then she took the eraser and erased everything that she had previously written.
"Okay," Jade nodded and looked at Cat expectantly. Cat glanced around the room in confusion, unsure of what Jade was talking about. Jade gave a sigh and pointed to the piece of yellow chalk Cat held in her hand that was starting to crumble off into tinier pieces.
"You're going to write what I was writing before you and your obnoxious friend strolled into the classroom.
"But that's suppo-"
"Just do it," Jade moaned and Cat took one last look around the room, confirming that indeed no one was here, before slowly and neatly writing the sentence 'I will not interrupt' on the board. She cursed herself for forgetting her money for lunch, the only reason her and her friend had come back into the nearly empty classroom. If they had not done so, then Cat would not be stuck suffering Jade's punishment.
"Messier," Jade ordered and Cat threw her an odd stare.
"It needs to look like my handwriting stupid!" Jade explained and Cat puffed some air in annoyance, but followed Jade's demands anyway.
"Good...good."
From then on, Jade seemed to force Cat into doing everything for her. Staying after school to clean up a mess that Jade had made, doing Jade's extra homework that was intended as a punishment for talking back to the teacher, helping her with projects. Cat became somewhat of a work monkey for the overbearing eleven year old.
But Cat quickly adjusted to this new schedule of sorts and tried to make the best of it. Often times, she would attempt to talk to Jade. Not about anything in particular, just something to get the conversation flowing. Sadly, it never worked and Jade always ordered her to go back to work and that she wasn't going fast enough.
Anyway, all this time after school made Cat's parents suspicious, so she would make up lies that she was going to hang out with Claire or Brittany or any one of her friends really. Since Jade's mom always gave Cat a lift home, she was able to lie and say that her friend's mom dropped her off. Luckily, the driveway was long and narrow, so she was able to have Jade's mom stop at the beginning of it and let Cat jump out and walk home, therefore obstructing her parents' view to the car, preventing them from realizing that the same car dropped Cat off everyday.
This happened day, after day, after day, until finally Cat became sick of staying after school. As much of a goody two shoes as she was, she'd rather not be in the school building for three quarters of her day, so she proposed that the two of them hang out instead, giving them a change of scenery.
Jade had contemplated this for a while before finally saying no. But Cat didn't give up and kept insisting until finally she got her way and then she was off to Jade's house. She excitedly chattered to Jade's mom the entire ride to Jade's house, seemingly forgetting that even though she had started to become friends with Jade by spending so much time around her (even if it was only to be bullied into working for her) Jade didn't consider her a friend and this "hang-out" was strictly business oriented.
But it turned out to be sort of, dare she say, fun. The pair finished Jade's project quickly so when Jade asked her mom to take Cat home, Mrs. West berated her daughter, telling her not to be so unfriendly (since she had no idea of the girls' arrangement). Jade argued back for a while, but Cat covered her ears with her hands and started humming the tune to Scooby Doo until the argument was over and a very pissed off Jade approached her.
"Let's go outside," Jade demanded and pushed past Cat, roughly bumping into the smaller girl's shoulder. Jade threw open the sliding glass door and stalked outside towards a small pond in her backyard. Cat cheerily skipped out after her, giggling and laughing like Jade wasn't being a gank and everything was swell.
"There's a shark in here," Jade informed the other girl when she sidled up next to the brunette.
"Really?" Cat questioned, eyes growing wide with amazement. "Is it a friendly shark?" she asked, getting down on her knees so as to better stare into the water that was definitely four sizes to small to fit a shark.
"Yeah, it's really mean and always hungry...You know what I feed it?"
"Love?"
"...What."
"Well my parents alwa-"
"Just shut up."
"Kay kay!"
"Anyway, I feed it flesh. Human flesh," Jade elaborated, eyes flashing dangerously and for a second she appeared almost snake like. Warily, Cat started to get to her feet, but Jade sprung forward and pushed her into the pond, laughing manically. Cat hit the bottom of the pond and pushed herself up so that she was able to break the water and get to her feet.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" she chanted with rising volume and hysteria. "It's gonna kill me! Oh my gosh a shark is gonna kill me!" Cat attempted to climb over the side of it to get out, but Jade blocked her way, preventing her from hauling herself out by continually pushing her backwards.
In a fit of panic and stupidity, Cat finally grabbed Jade by the arm and yanked her into the pond as well before jumping out of the water, shivering and trembling much like a scared cat.
"You idiot!" Jade hollered. "God damn it, I hate you!" she spat and Cat started to back away until she tripped over some rocks, but she caught her balance. Then she sunk down and grabbed her knees close to body and started rocking back and forth, shocked eyes producing little tears that gradually rolled down her cheek only to either dissolve into her skin or fall to the ground. As the wind blew, her tremors increased as did the amount of tears falling from her eyes, causing her vision to blur. So it was no wonder that she didn't see Jade angrily stomping over to her until the other girl was right in her face.
"And this is why we never hang out, because you're an idiot and do stuff like this!" Jade exclaimed, but when Cat put her head between her knees, covering her ears with her hands once again, Jade knelt down beside her.
"Why are you so scared! The pond wasn't big enough for a real shark anyway! You're so stupid!" Still, Cat said nothing, her face gradually losing color. Paling.
"Cat!...Cat. Cat?" Jade forced Cat's head up only to see that Cat's cheeks were puffed out, her lips squeezed together in an attempt to not breathe. "What are you doing!" Jade howled, shaking Cat's head back and forth as if that would make her breathe again.
"H-Holding m-my breath!...Oh d-d-darn it!" Cat hiccuped, frowning through her tears. A look of relief seemed to pass over Jade for a second, but it quickly subsided into a look of hate.
"That's stupid."
Cat didn't respond to Jade's statement, instead she said as the tears and hiccups were fading, "I-I'm all wet."
"Same."
"I'm sorry," Cat apologized, looking up into Jade's blue eyes with her own set of sad ones. She gently tugged Jade's hand away from her chin as it had still been there, holding Cat's head in place like Jade was frightened that Cat would just get up and leave.
There was a silence in which Jade finally broke by sighing. "I guess I maybe should have perhaps warned you that there was no actually real shark before I kinda maybe pushed you in. Maybe," Jade relented, her eyes darting to the side, avoiding eye contact with Cat as her arms crossed over her chest.
Cat sniffed as her face brightened up like the sun lights up a new day. "Aw, Jade!" she grinned happily and then reached over to embrace the other girl who promptly pushed her off. Cat didn't take to much offense and instead just stood up, a smile stretching from ear tip to ear tip. "I guess I should go home now. Can your mom give me a ride home? I need to change out of these wet clothes," Cat pouted as if it wasn't obvious.
"No, stay."
Cat's eyes grew wider as Jade fumbled to come up with an excuse for what she had just said, but no matter what came out of the brunette's mouth, Cat knew that Jade had meant what she said and Cat plopped back down, smiling at Jade, her slightly tanned skin glistening as water dripped onto it from her clothes.
After that day, Jade had stared treating her less and less like a work horse and more and more like her, can Cat say it, her friend? Then years went by and the pair became closer and closer, eventually going to the same high school side by side. Jade was treating Cat more like an equal and had long ago stopped requiring that Cat do her work for her. They were best friends.
At least, until Beck and the others started to enter the picture. But things were still all and well for two years, and Cat and Jade still hung out a lot. Like that one time when Jade destroyed something Cat had worked very hard on.
"Jade, hurry up the stairs, I need to show you something!" Cat howled behind her, bounding up the stairwell like a frantic, spazzing deer. She bolted down the hall and into her bedroom before taking a leap and launching herself onto her overly pink bed. Unfortunately, she had jumped with to much power so when she landed on the bed she bounced right off onto the ground. "Owie!" she complained frustratedly, her voice dropping an octave. But she shook it off and sprang right to her feet. "Hurry up!" she called again and finally she saw Jade coming up the stairs, heading towards her room.
Jade took her time slowly and painfully and each step she took made Cat wince and shake with impatience. "Geez Cat, calm down, you look like you need to wazz," came Jade's cutting remark, but Cat ignored it. Finally, Jade stepped inside her room and Cat threw her arms around the Goth girl.
Jade quickly pulled her off, disdain etched into her face. Cat took it as a sign to gallop over to her desk area and grab a homemade picture frame made of discolored popsicle sticks, animal stickers, and macaroni embroidering the outside.
"Lookie! Isn't it adorable!" Cat squealed, positively shivering with excitement and the anticipation of Jade's answer which, in her mind, was comprised of 'It's as beautiful as unicorns flying across a rainbow' or something of the sort.
"No," Jade deadpanned which caused Cat to pout and fall onto the flats of her foot (since previously she had been on her tip toes).
"Not even a little bit?" she questioned innocently, big eyes staring up at Jade sadly, even though she should have expected the mean girl's response.
"No, now get that thing out of my face."
"But I worked so hard on it! I even had to go into my brother's room to find the glue gun!" Cat tried.
Jade knowingly fell for the bait. "Why is it so bad that you had to go to your brother's room to get the glue gun?"
"Because my brother's room has..." Cat glanced around the room shiftily before looking back up at Jade, guilt apparent in her eyes. "Well I can't tell you." Jade sighed and there was a pause of silence before the gothic girl groaned and extended her hand, giving in to the pleading look that Cat was giving her.
"Fine, let me see it."
Cat shrieked with joy and handed it over to Jade, bouncing up and down again.
"Stop it."
Cat stopped.
Jade turned the picture frame around in her hands, looking at the peculiar design Cat made. It looked like a four year old in girl scouts had designed it. Jade experimentally bent it to see what Cat would do. Cat looked panic, but swallowed and didn't say anything. So Jade started to bend it more. Still nothing.
"Wow, Cat, your frame is so...so flimsy. It's almost as if I could snap it like...like a kid's or leg or something. You know, li-"
Snap.
Jade stared at the half of the picture frame that had dropped to the floor. "Oh," was all she said before examining the breaks and splinters of the rainbow colored wood. Cat looked down at the broken frame as well, tears starting to fill her eyes.
Jade uncomfortably shifted from foot to foot, unsure of what to say or do.
"I think I should g-"
"I was going to put a picture of us in there," Cat sniffed, holding back a barrage of tears that was sure to come. "It was going to be the one from farm camp when we were twelve." Jade's eyebrow twitched as she tried to make eye contact with the red haired girl, but when Cat didn't look up, Jade awkwardly shifted her gaze to the side.
"Yeah, well, the frame probably would've broken anyway since it was really flimsy."
"But I spent so much time on it." Cat was nearly crying and everything she said came out softly and gently, like if her voice was any louder it would crack.
"You can fix it, can't you? Or at least make another one?"
Cat shook her head disappointedly. "It wouldn't be the same," she whispered, dropping to her knees to rekindle the frame. Jade bent down as well and gave Cat the other half of the frame before standing again, casting her eyes off to the hallway behind her.
"Well I think I should-"
"No, don't! I mean, please stay?" Cat asked hopefully and for the first time since the frame snapped, she made eye contact with Jade. Standing silently, Jade debated the matter at hand. When a full minute passed, Cat voiced her opinion again. "Please promise?"
Jade finally gave in with a quick nod and Cat soberly stood to her feet and took Jade's hand, then dragged her over to her desk. "Guess we'll have to make another one!" she forced the cheeriness in her voice, but as she was looking at the supplies left on her desk from the old picture frame, her face became brighter and she started to get excited.
"On second though, I'm leaving."
"Wait you promised!"
Jade groaned, but kneeled on the ground beside Cat who had taken up residence in her desk chair.
And that was their friendship for a year or so, until Beck started butting in and bothering the pair. At least he did so in Cat's opinion. Of course, Cat was highly overdramatic. Still, they were the best of friends and nothing could split them apart.
"Ugh, Beck's calling me," Jade informed Cat while she was giving Cat a ride home since Cat refused to take the bus. After all, her make up was ruined from crying and she'd rather no one but Jade see her like this. Boy problems. "Hold on, I'm gonna answer...What do you want?"
There was silence for a while and Cat wondered if Beck was asking Jade to do something that night since they were boyfriend and girlfriend by now. She was kind of hoping he wasn't because she wanted to talk about what happened with Jade, even if Jade would probably end up putting her earphones in and tuning Cat out. She wasn't really onboard with the whole sharing your feelings thing.
"Tonight? Well-" Jade cut off, distracted by Cat's wild motions. The girl was symboling to say no, using her hand to swipe across her neck. Usually she would never have such rude outbursts, but she was really hoping Jade would stay.
"Can you please stay and go to Freezy Queen with me?" Cat whispered and Jade uncertainly stared at her. "Pleaseeee stay?" Cat tried again, this time her eyebrows arching up and her bottom lip jutting out in a display of childlike begging. Jade gave her a hard glare, but then looked back at the road and gave her answer.
"I can't...I just can't...Alright, alright, enough with the feelings, it's like your PMSing." Jade gave a quick smirk before ending the call, but then her eyes narrowed.
"You owe me Cat."
Cat gave a sigh before looking out the car window. "I know, I know." On the inside though, she was smiling.
It had been like that for a long time. She was always able to convince Jade to stay with her instead of go out with Beck or any of her other friends and Cat liked that. She liked to feel that she was special enough to be able to tell Jade West what to do, or at least persuade her of what to do. Just like the time where Jade was supposed to go home and do her homework, but Cat told her to stay over her house for a sleepover and do it the next day.
They had been having a movie marathon because it was a rainy and dreary Saturday and there was no school. Most of the movies they rented consisted of scary ones, because contrary to what one might think, Cat loved scary movies almost as much as Jade. She found the parts where a character was having a cliche death funny, just like when her Jade, Robbie, and Andre were watching that silly movie where the main character was having a prolonged death.
But around eight, Jade glanced at her phone and informed Cat that she needed to leave. Cat immediately went into begging mode, unsatisfied because the movie was only half way through.
"You can't leave now, the movie is just getting to the good part!" Cat pleaded and Jade gave Cat a look of indifference before reaching over and grabbing the clicker. She pressed the pause button before turning back over to Cat.
"I don't care."
"But you're never going to know what happened! Just stay till the end? Please?" Cat begged, using a more 'babyish' voice than usual and Jade stole a glance at the paused screen.
"I guess I do kinda want to see what happens to the girl when the chainsaw rips her open...Fine, I'll stay, but not because of you," Jade agreed, looking back towards the screen and pressing play before Cat could jump on her or hug or anything of the sort. Cat broadly smiled to herself and snuggled back into the couch they were sitting on to watch the rest of the movie, which went by quickly and had her screaming through a quarter of it.
Finally, when it was over and it was revealed that the girl would have to live with only half her body, Jade rose from her seat.
"Where are you going?" Cat questioned sadly as if she didn't know the answer.
"Home," Jade flatlined which caused Cat to scramble off the couch and slide over to Jade before sitting on the floor and wrapping her arms around Jade's leg.
"But we didn't watch the sequel and I need to see the sequel but I can't watch it alone!" Cat cried, grasping onto Jade's jeans tighter.
"Well that sucks. Now get off my leg," Jade hissed, trying to shake her leg a bit, but Cat was to heavy to move it.
"Please please please please-"
"No."
"You didn't even know what I was goin-"
"No."
"Bu-"
"No."
There was a thick silence and Cat could swear she heard a faint ringing her ears.
"Please stay."
"You do realize that-"
"Please?"
Jade gave a long, drawn out, exasperated sigh before eventually relenting. "Fine, just get off my leg."
"Kay kay!" Cat chirped and sprung back over to the couch. Jade went over and changed up the DVDs before following suit and sitting on the couch. Feeling good because Cat had just changed Jade's stubborn mind, the red head scooted closer to Jade...Then closer...Then closer...Then closer until the pair were touching hands and Cat leaned against Jade. It wasn't anything unusual for them, but Cat felt her face warm up a little bit and perhaps her heart beat a tad bit faster than normal as she came in contact with Jade.
Near the end of the movie, Cat became tired and she rested her head against Jade's shoulder, and although Jade tensed, she eventually relaxed and Cat felt herself beginning to slip off, but not without that feeling of warmth intensify and a really good feeling stir in her chest. She guessed it must have come from being pleased with herself for getting the Jade West to stay with only a few words accompanied with a look. She felt like it was an accomplishment, one that Beck couldn't even obtain. She was able to calm the beast that was Jade West, so to speak, and it made her feel powerful and it made her feel good, that she, out of all the people, was special enough to be able to do this. It made her feel so elated and she wished she could feel this way all the time, but it only came when she was around a certain raven haired girl.
In around twenty minutes, Cat dozed off.
And so Cat came to find out she had power over Jade West. And as she began to exercise this power more and more, she started getting that amazing feeling more and more. Whenever she would brush against Jade she felt like her cheeks were fire and whenever she sat so close to Jade that she could feel the other girl's chest moving up and down, up and down, she felt all jittery and unnatural. But she contained herself and acted like normal, pretending that the thump thump thump of her heart didn't speed up when Jade touched her, ice electrifying the spot where Jade's skin had been.
She wondered if Jade ever felt this way when she was close by. If it was normal for best friends. She thought Jade must have because she thought Jade kind of liked to touch her to. If it wasn't the way Jade would sort of sway whenever she stood near Cat or the way whenever she sat down next to Cat when they were alone she would sit down so maybe their fingers were touching. Obviously it had to be the same thing, Cat presumed. Especially when Jade invited Cat to sleepover, but there wasn't any room on the ground and Jade didn't have any mattresses, so they slept in the same bed.
Even though Jade refused to face the way Cat was facing, Cat could tell that she liked to share the closeness. In fact, Cat was so sure that she wiggled over so that maybe her back was touching Jade's back and maybe she might have taken Jade's hand in her own, although granted Jade was sleeping.
After a few months, though, the feelings intensified for Cat and now whenever Jade gave her a sweatshirt to borrow when Cat 'forgot' her own, Cat would feel all sorts of shivers run up and down her body because surely Jade didn't lend out her clothes to just anybody. Things that were supposed to be taken as a token of friendship, Cat treasured like it meant the world. And maybe it did. To her. After all, now whenever Cat looked at Jade, she would find herself tracing Jade's curves, or staring at her lips, especially when she uttered that phrase of her. "Please stay." And then Jade would stay and she would feel special and fantastic, even more jittery and better than usual.
So when Jade would save a seat for her in Sikowitz or maybe give her the extremely rare compliment, Cat would practically glow because Jade could just make her feel special. And she liked that. She liked being different than other people. And Jade made her feel that. Gave her worth. Like she was different and more special than others because she was worth Jade's attention. No one, not even her family or friends, had ever made her feel like she could actually be someone. Standout. Especially in her strict religious family, where everyone was good and wholesome and were all of equal worth, none being any better than the other, possessing no skills that didn't belong to God.
Next Cat started to daydream about Jade, even though she was with Beck. Even though, quite suddenly, their hang outs became less and less the more time Jade spent around Beck.
Anyway, she would daydream about maybe holding hands with Jade while they were in the car. Or maybe Jade asking her to come over for a sleepover and when they went to bed, Jade would casually throw her arms over Cat's waist like it was no big deal. Like it happened all the time. Or maybe she would dream about getting ice cream with Jade and they would be laughing and having a good time until Jade pointed out that Cat had something on her lip. Then Jade would lean over the table with a napkin, dab at Cat's lips, and they would hold eye contact until Jade leaned closer, closer, closer...
Or maybe it would be raining and she wouldn't have an umbrella. She would be standing out in the cold and then Jade would come up to her, smirk, and open the umbrella she was carrying. Cat would scramble under it and give Jade a hug. Jade would tell her that she was really wet and then Cat would just smile up at Jade and the pair would walk to Cat's house. Then, under the roof that overhung the balcony before they stepped inside, Jade would lower the umbrella and water would splash on Cat's nose. Jade would smirk while she would laugh until Jade would lean forward, gently grabbing Cat's head in her hands and using her thumbs to wash away the water she splashed onto Cat's face. Then things would become silent and she would- no Jade would close the distance and kiss her.
And in another daydream...Well she can't say that one.
She liked to daydream about Jade, even if Jade wasn't acting like herself in half of them. It became so frequent, these fantasies, that often times during class Cat would just stare at Jade and imagine. Her grades soon dropped and while her parents questioned her as to why, she ignored them and still went to school only to end up watching Jade.
She missed how much they used to hang out now that Jade was involving herself more with her boyfriend. Often times Cat wondered if they had...if they had done...done it. She never asked though, never pried, because she trusted Jade enough to know that Jade wouldn't give herself up to Beck. Not when Jade was clearly in love with Cat.
And so Cat came to interpret every little thing Jade did as affectionate, like giving her fifty cents when she was short a bit for lunch or giving her a coloring book when she felt like coloring. Until finally, Cat started to go insane, driving herself crazy with finding meaning in every little thing and scrutinizing every tiny detail.
So maybe that's why Cat invited Jade over her house one day. To finally clear things up. And maybe that's why she did what she had done. You see, her and Jade had just finished up making pancakes (quite messily) and they had gone up to her bedroom because they were bored. Cat plopped down on the bed, and Jade kneeled down on the bed quite closely to her.
Out of genuine boredom, Cat began to bounce on the bed, but Jade put a hand on her upper thigh, telling her to stop. It was like a switch had been turned off and Cat immediately halted what she was doing. Jade, intentionally or unintentionally, dragged her fingertips against Cat's exposed skin lightly as she withdrew her hand. A rosy color flooded Cat's cheeks. To distract herself from the cold spot lingering on her leg, she reached behind her and grabbed her stuffed animal from in front of her pillow and brought it close to her chest.
"Jade...I was wondering something," Cat suddenly began, facial expression turning deadly serious as she played with the mane of her giraffe.
"What?" Jade questioned and Cat gave a small shrug before continuing.
"How in love are you with Beck?" Oops. She hadn't meant to say it like that, but she had a habit of talking before thinking. However, she was wondering all the same so she looked up at Jade and held eye contact. Jade shifted uncomfortably.
"Okay...um, Cat, I need to tell you something," Jade began and started to lean forward. Closer, closer, closer, and Cat could feel Jade's breath on her. Without thinking, all those daydreams clouding her head, Cat reached out and softly grasped Jade's face between her hands. Then she kissed Jade. Soft, passionate, but it felt distant.
Immediately, Jade pulled back.
"C-Cat, the fuck was that?" she cursed. "I was only going to get up! The hell!" And like that Cat's face suddenly drained of all its color and she felt her breathing becoming more shallower and shallower, constricting, like a snake was squeezing her chest. What...What was happening? What...What had she done?
"Cat, I'm waiting for a fucking answer!" Jade roared, scrambling to her feet, demanding something that Cat thought was plainly obvious, so she didn't respond, only went back to twiddling with her stuffed animal. Infuriated, Jade grabbed the stuffed animal out of Cat's hands and flung it towards the back of the room.
"I-It was a kiss!"
"Well no shit!" Jade screamed. "Why? Why did you do that when you knew I was in love with Beck? When I'm currently with Beck?...Shit! Fucking respond to something Cat, you fucking asshole!"
Cat slowly stood to her feet, fear apparent in her eyes, before she impulsively took a step towards Jade and was showing her why she kissed her with another kiss, trying to rekindle what she had felt like she had surely lost. She didn't know why she did it, but it entered her head and in her state of absolute almost paralyzing fear, she did the only thing she had been able to think of for the past few months. Maybe even for the past year. She loved Jade.
Of course, Jade once again pushed her off, making Cat fall back onto her bed. "Forget it. I'm just fucking leaving. I don't need this," Jade growled and made a move to leave. Cat jumped up and reached out a hand, grabbing Jade's shoulder.
"Wait! Please don't go. Please, please stay! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! Please...please stay!" If Cat could cry, if she could feel anything but panic, she would be a mess of tears and mascara. She shouted at Jade, begged her to stay, feeling as though if anything were to work to get Jade to stay, it would be those magic words. Those magic words that only she could say and that Jade would abide by.
But Jade coldly shrugged her hand off and walked out of Cat's room. Cat watched, feeling her heart twist and fold and break as Jade hurried out of her house. She...She wasn't staying. Cat slowly sank down, her eyes wide with unbelief, her stature tense with regret. But still, she couldn't cry, so she just stared out the door and into the empty hallway.
And she stayed that way, frozen, for twenty minutes, unsure of what to think or what to do or what to say, her brain malfunctioning, until finally, the one phrase she thought would make Jade always stay by her, she repeated in her head. Then she repeated it again. And again and again and again until she was saying it aloud and suddenly she was crying and its as if a water reserve broke because she can't contain herself. She feels her stomach heave with effort because she's not just crying, she's dying. Her heart is shattering.
Soon her throat started to hurt, but she can't stop the flood of tears because she felt as though she wasn't special anymore. Like she had lost Jade, so that just made her worthless. Made her a nobody in everybody's eyes. Just another member of the church. Just another person someone would walk by and consider a nobody. And it's feels so wretched and wrong that it makes her miss Jade all the more.
She wishes she could have taken back what she had done. But how could she have been so wrong about Jade? Jade didn't love her. Never had. And maybe, perhaps, that's what hurt the most.
So, the petite ruby haired girl cried in her room, in shambles, the words of her parents running through her head. She should have listened. A girl who had started out hurting her was only going to leave hurting her. She should have known better.
And soon after, as she gathered herself and went to school the next day, her daydreams became something akin to nightmares. She would scream to Jade to stay, but in the end she would always leave, taking a little more of Cat's heart each time, until finally, she lost the will to even talk and all she could do was whisper. Whisper the few words that seemed to define her very existence.
Don't go. Please, please stay.
After that, no one stayed with her anymore.
Note: Because you shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that no one loves you. Anyway, I wrote this up quick so it might not be refined but I hope it's at least decent! I apologize for any OOC things...That is overly obnoxious coolness...Nooo, haha, hope you enjoyed! :)
