Author's Note: I write because it's fun. I like to write. It isn't because I'm some sick twisted soul who likes torturing people. My point? My point is that if you don't like this, then don't read it. I give fair warnings. If you do not heed them, the rest is not my responsibility. Now, without further ado, I present this awkwardly composed story. There are twenty-six chapters. I will state at the beginning whose perspective each is written from. I like jumping from perspective to perspective—it makes it more fun to write.

Warning: This story may contain sexual implications/innuendos and the like—whatever is expected from any other fanfic. I will refrain from vulgarity as best I can but I will make no promises. There will be mild swearing. Lest you all forget, Gin isn't a perfect, little angel (in fact, there isn't even the tiniest semblance between the two). He grew up in Rukongai. Expect it of him. If you have read this and continue to read on, I take no responsibility for mental trauma/scarring. I will only warn you this once. This warning, however, is applicable to the entire story.

Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I do not own Bleach or the characters in it. I am not Tite Kubo. They belong to him, not me. I swear that I make no profit from this. Well, that is only if you don't count satisfying readers as profit. Let me specify, I receive no monetary profit from the production of this wayward story. I do not expect to, either. Applicable for each chapter. I don't like repeating myself so it will only be put this once.

Perspective: Aizen's


Chapter I: Almost

Almost

very nearly; all but

I, despite this being the Soul Society, could hear the early morning chirping of delicate robins. It was springtime again. It wasn't my favourite season, per se, but I liked it well enough. Already, I could see green grass peeking out from patches of snow that had started to melt. Really, even within the limits of the Seireitei, the Soul Society wasn't much unlike the human—"living"—world. It made me question how "dead" we really were—even as shinigami.

As I tore my blanket off, I could hear discontented grumbling from a weight on my stomach. The familiar weight shifted over, rolling off of me and into the blanket, clinging to it sorely. I knew it well as Gin.

"Gin," I whispered to him, my tone only half scolding him, "we have to get up, now. We have work." He made a noise similar to "Don't want to" and continued to cling to the blanket, pulling it over himself. "Gin," I pressed, attempting to pry the blanket away from him in a, more or less, futile fight, "Get out of bed this instant. We have work."

Though not entirely pleased with the notion, he let go of the blanket and sat up. He stretched lengthily, revealing his long, pale arms and legs in the process. Yawning, he stood up, straightened out his yukata, and went to the bathroom. I got out of bed and followed him. I didn't want him brushing his teeth while only half awake. That usually led to swallowing toothpaste and choking. That wasn't a pleasant thought.

He was fully dressed in his uniform—his shihakusho—and ready for duty. Still, though, there was an air of a child about him. It had taken so long to groom him properly into being my lieutenant—after Hirako had left (or rather, been forced to leave)—and I had discovered that I could never really get rid of his immaturity. Perhaps, though, that was one of his strengths and the reason Shinsou obeyed him.

"What're we going t'do now, Aizen-taichou?" he asked boredly. If his eyes hadn't been closed, I could have sworn that he rolled them at me.

Disregarding his blatant dislike of our daily tasks, I went on to explain what would happen and what we would do. There were only standard things—passing on messages, securing transfers, planning meetings, directing internship programs, and whatever else needed to be done in paperwork. That, give or take, was the "special" duty of the fifth squad. It was the same as Soi Fon's squad being the Special Forces. It was an absolutely dismal and demeaning duty but I understood that someone needed to do it. I could also understand Gin's loathing of it, too. I couldn't say that I particularly enjoyed it myself.

"We have to do it, remember?" I reminded him, nudging him gently. He frowned at me but complied. The two of us exited my room together. It was odd for our squad to see the captain and lieutenant leaving a room, first thing in the morning, might I add, together but they didn't make a fuss about it. Not many would dare to suspect me of anything, really. I put on a nice facade. On the other hand, Gin...I wouldn't go there.

Everybody immediately jumped to their feet—even those who had been waiting, lounging on the railings. "Aizen-taichou! Ichimaru-fukutaichou!" they recited in unison, saluting us. I bowed. Gin smiled, bowing just as graciously. It didn't help any, though. I could see that everyone was scared of him—if not a lot, a little. They were smart to be afraid of him for he was something to be feared.

There were several new faces in our squad but none that I didn't know as academy students. I greeted each of them, only vaguely remembering each name and face. Gin, on the other hand, knew none of them. He merely walked alongside me. His memorization was as superb as I knew it to be and, the moment I uttered each student's name, he memorized it and its corresponding face. How very like him... I remarked in my head. He didn't notice me taking note of this. His guard, however, was lowered none. In fact, today, it was raised so high that I seemed to be suffocating in it. Even with me, when he spoke, his voice was guarded. Something was bothering him. I made a mental note, telling myself to ask him later.

After our formal address, we left for our offices, never once stopping to even steal a glance at one another. Something was definitely ask. I took another mental note—I had to ask him soon.

"Soon" and "later" became "now". It wasn't because his stand-offishness was increasing (which it was) but, rather, time had passed. Unexpectedly, though, he was the one who came and approached me about his little "problem".

In the middle of work, he suddenly spoke out. "Aizen-taichou,"

"Yes?"

He stiffened, even his tone was stiff. "Could ya join me for lunch t'day?"

I nodded in affirmaton and he nodded back in silent approval. That was all that we said, getting back to work.

Lunch came around the corner. No, I shouldn't say it like that. Lunch crept around the corner at a miserably slow rate, all the while taunting me with the hands of time. In other words, it had been about as exciting as watching grass grow. Unless you're some sort of grass enthusiast, which I'm not, that would be considered extremely boring. Of course, when lunch came around, so did relief. It washed over me like a fresh bath. That was a good thing. I really felt like I needed one, right about now. It was more important for me to listen to Gin, though. So, I braced myself for a "talk".

There was no "talk", though. Instead, the moment the bell in our squad went for lunch, all he did was stand up. I held my breath, then, anticipating something. I anticipated wrong, though. Nothing came—nothing happened. Instead, he just tackled me—tackled me to the ground. He was holding onto my cloak for his dear life. Then, I noticed them—them being his irrepressible tears. He was sobbing into my chest. Confused and not completely understanding, all I could do was pat his head and murmur soothing nothings to him. It made me wonder how much I really understood of Gin and how much was just another mask. This boy of mine was really something else, that was for sure.

After much comforting and much crying (on his part), he finally managed to calm down. He had stifled the sobs into simple hiccups. I finally dared to ask him what was wrong. Earlier, I was afraid he would break into a fit of hysteria in the middle of his explanation. I expected a long explanation, too. Once again, I expected wrong.

He pulled one leg of his hakama up—his left leg—to reveal his own skin. What I saw made me gag. There was a large, revolting gash running up from his calf to is inner thigh which was as far as I could see. I doubt it went any further, though. It wasn't glossy-looking like a scar. No, it looked fresh—it looked as though it was just beginning to scab over, too.

"What happened?" I asked cautiously.

He did break into hysterics—just a little bit. It was justifiable, though. "I-I," he stuttered, tears streaming down his face while his eyes were wide open and dilated, "I did this to myself." he finally managed to sputter out. For a moment, time froze. I didn't need him to repeat himself, though. I knew exactly what I had heard. He continued and I listened. "I don't know what I was thinking," he stuttered, "I-I think I'm going crazy. It was bleeding like crazy." At this point, he was mumbling to himself, "A-And it felt n-nice—I don't know." he wailed, throwing himself on me again. I caught him just in time. Thankfully, I was already on the floor so we couldn't fall down any further.

I considered briefly whether or not I should reprimand him—scold him. I decided not to. It wasn't the time or the place to do such things, too. Now was the time for reassurance and comfort. I tried my best to give it to him.

"It's just a stage in life." I told him even though it felt as though I was lying, "You're fine." He nodded dumbly, unable to speak any further. I pulled his head to my chest and, with a sigh, told him to sleep. Forcibly, I put a kido spell on him to make him sleep, too.

I carried him out of the office and to our rooms. A few shinigami had seen us but none questioned. I figured I would have to find someone to fill in for both of our paperwork. No one would like that. Still, right now, my time was for Gin.

My boy was so strong and still growing. Sometimes, though, I got a little ahead of myself and forgot that he was just a child. And, at this stage of life, he needed to be nurtured. I decided that I would have to be the one to do that.

He was so close and all he needed was a push or some sort of boost. He was almost there—almost.

Author's Note: The way I wrote this, it seems to be in the middle of a story. That, more or less, seems to be the case. I'll write what I'll write. This story may not be updated for...a long, long time. Inspiration comes in bursts, not a steady stream. Well, it does for me, anyway. I will write when there is something good to write about. Now, for other matters...this story will have twenty-six chapters. That's the number of letters in the alphabet. One letter for each chapter—each letter will have a word. I already chose my words prior to the story so it'll be interesting to see how this turns out. It isn't going to be a series of one-shots like my original idea. No, I decided that, if I was going to write twenty-six things, I might as well make one story. Another reason for slow updates is because Mon Espoir (oh boy, self-advertising) is my priority, at the moment. Besides, the way it is shaping up, this story will be done long before Mon Espoir is so...yeah. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Until next time. :)