Author! Author!
by Polydicta
How do you think that authors get their characters to do what they want? Fluffy silliness.
Disclaimer:
All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.
There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.
-::::::::-
Author! Author!
Harry was sat in the common room with Hermione. He was fretting about asking Cho Chang to go to the Yule Ball with him. Hermione, as usual, was fretting about Harry.
There was a noise like the sound of a million manual typewriters, and a woman in muggle clothes slowly materialised in front of them.
"Who're you?"
"I'm the Author, and I apologise, I'm not even meant to be in this narrative."
"What? Narrative? …"
She nodded. "Yes, I know you don't believe it, but this is not reality, this is a narrative fiction."
"So how…?"
"Just something that Authors can do, step inside their narrative and chat with the characters. Well, i say their narrative, you see this is a fan fiction."
The two teens looked blank.
"Look, just accept it for the moment. Now, I'm shipping on HMS Pumpkin Pie, so this has to be a Harmony tale."
The duo looked even more blank.
"Okay, Harmony is about Harry and Hermione? Okay? Now, Harry, just ask Hermione to go with you to the Yule Ball."
Harry looked a bit … lost. "Hmmm, 'Mione?"
"Yes Harry?"
"I was just thinking, would you go to the Yule Ball with me?"
The bushy haired witch threw her arms around the boy and hugged hi. "Of course I will, Harry. Thank you!"
"Now, you two are going to fall in love. Deeply in love, so have a damn good chat about it. In fact, you may as well start practising your kissing technique, since you'll be married out of school."
The two teens looked at the Author with undisguised amazement.
"Trust me on this, now why don't you just bow to the inevitable and kiss each other?"
Hermione looked questioningly at green-eyed boy who was still holding her. His lips moved closer to hers and then, oh joy!
Her mind went fuzzy and her heart beat was like a mad drum tattoo.
As they broke the kiss, panting, their eyes were dark with lust and something else.
.
The author looked up and said, "Okay, write me out, guys!"
There was the sound of typewriters and she faded from the scene.
"I wonder who that was?"
"Who cares …" He kissed her again.