Title: Suffering for Sins
Summary: After a horrific turn of events, the group finally get some rest.
Warnings: POSSIBLE SPOILERS! I haven't read the comics and I don't know what's going to happen this season but I do know something that happens in the comic that may potentially happen this season and this story mentions that so, don't read this if you wanna remain spoiler free. You have been warned!
When he sat on the poor excuse for a bed that evening, he wasn't sure what part of him hurt the most.
His feet felt like they'd walked thousands of miles, knees stiff as he finally let them rest, hips uncomfortable in their place as the bones wore away against one another. His hands were blistered in places, fingers and joints felt swollen and resisted movement. His shoulders were stiff and his back might just have been the worst of it all, helping actually numb the pain he felt everywhere else because of how bad it felt.
But none of it mattered.
Worse things were happening than his small insignificant aches and pains.
Rick's pain was worse.
Rick, who he'd grown to respect and care about so much and who was now broken and on edge. He was with Carl and the baby, trying to do something to console his son and comfort the baby who they all knew might not even be his. But in the end, it was Lori's and she wasn't here now, so someone needed to look after it and the closest thing that baby had to anyone was Carl. He was big brother to that little thing and it was fucking frightening just how vulnerable it was.
Daryl didn't really know what to say to Rick or Carl, so he just did the only thing he could think of and went out for them. He and Maggie went on a run and bought back supplies. Everything she could think of that a baby might need, including formula. Lots and lots of it because what else could they do? They filled an empty cell with the supplies and they took the tiny Moses basket into the cell Rick was in and that was all they could do for him.
And Daryl left Maggie and Beth and Carol to it.
And now, in the darkness after those hours of the most awful memories, now that they'd got things for the baby, now that things were slowing, now that they'd dug that grave for Lori and buried her body, now they could rest.
The baby was asleep but in a few hours it would cry and wake them all up as it would want feeding again. And Rick would do it. In that same way he was doing a lot of things just lately, with a cold slightly blank look on his face.
Daryl wondered where he'd gone, because when he looked at Rick, he didn't really see that same man any more.
And then he wondered if anyone else was actually sleeping or if they were all just as mind fucked as he was.
That was when he noticed it. The quiet sobbing.
He recognised it. From that night in the RV, after Sophia first went missing. The night he and Andrea had gone out into the woods and looked for her.
He'd do anything to not have to listen to her crying. Reminded him of his Mother.
But as much as the noise made him want to leave and just get away, he got up instead and made his way to her cell. He knew which cell all of them were using. His position on the perch gave him the perfect vantage point for the group.
So he knew that the third cell from the end was where the sobbing came from.
He walked as quietly as he could down to it and luckily, years of practice made this simple for him. He stopped just outside the cell, their cell, and then he realised just why this was so tragic.
It wasn't just because Lori was Carol's friend. She had been her companion almost the whole time since they'd left the farm. As things between her and Rick grew more and more tense and as Lori grew bigger, Carol had stepped in and offered her comfort whenever Carl turned his shoulder to his mother or whenever Rick decided that whatever she had to say to him wasn't important and shrugged her off.
Carol had been there. He'd seen more than once Carol wiping up Lori's tears and it wasn't his business but even he felt sorry for her. And those thoughts about how cold Rick was becoming would float around in his head and he'd be scared for them all. But he'd stay quiet and if anyone else voiced anything that sounded the same he'd put them in their place, tell them how wrong they were and that Rick was a good leader. Because he did believe it.
Just like he believed that right now, Carol needed him.
He shuffled his foot at the door, so she'd hear him and her sobs quietened as she looked his way.
"Sorry," she whispered automatically.
He took that as an invitation to come in and he noticed she was sleeping on Lori's bed. On what had been Lori's bed. Was holding her pillow in a tight hug, letting her tears fall onto it.
And she was so sad. He stood just inside the doorway and looked at her.
"How could she die? She had so much to live for."
Daryl felt a chill as her eyes sought him out in the darkness and he wished he'd bought his poncho with him. And he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. So he said nothing. He just stood there.
Hoped that would be enough.
She cried some more, and every now and then, she'd ask some rhetorical question about life and how cruel it was and he did nothing. Not until she uttered the words "it should have been me" and then he had to do something, say something.
And the only thing that came out of his mouth was a hushing noise as he stepped forward. "Don't ever say that again," he warned her.
She looked down and nodded. But her tears still fell and then he dropped down in front of her, crouched down and he grabbed her hands, still slightly unsure, but he knew he needed to. Do it for her.
And still holding her hands, he stood up and pulled her up with him.
Lori's cover was wrapped around Carol's lap and the pillow slipped from her lap and she felt cold and naked without it. But she followed Daryl anyway as he lead her out of the cell.
Took her to the perch and made her sit on his uncomfortable sorry excuse for a bed.
"Sleep here. You shouldn't be alone," he whispered in her ear and she nodded because anything else would be too hard. She lay in Daryl's bed as he sat beside her. Watching over her.
Watching over the cells.
Watching over the group.
His family.
