Note: I don't own these characters.

The New Employee

SNORE! Mimi's eyes shot open as the cacophony of loud nasal vibrations penetrated her eardrums.

"Ugh!" she sighed, rolling over. "Eep!" she said, falling off the couch. Standing up, she mentally facepalmed. "What the…" Apparently, the whole crew- she, Nastasia, O'Chunks, Count Bleck, and Dimentio- had all fallen asleep on the couch while watching the new episode of Koopa Quest. Groaning, Mimi trudged over to Nastasia, nudging her awake.

"Hmm?" said Nastasia, still in a daze.

"Nassie, it's nine twenty four," said Mimi.

"What?" said Nastasia, popping up.

"Why must this happen every day?" said Count Bleck, assuming an awake position as well.

"Oh no…" said Nastasia.

"What's wrong now?" asked Bleck.

"Today's the day we have the guest coming."

"Guest?" said Dimentio, popping his head into the conversation. Nastasia and Bleck facepalmed.

"Didn't you hear? We're getting a new coworker!" said Mimi.

"Yeah, and she should be here in five minutes, so clean up, 'k?" Nastasia said, going off towards the front door.

"How are we gonna clean THIS up in five minutes?" asked Mimi, seeing Bleck leave to follow Nastasia.

"Like this," said Dimentio. Using his powers, he levitated all the trash in the television room- including O'Chunks, who was still asleep- and threw it out the window.

"!" shouted O'Chunks, falling into oblivion.

"No, Dimentio, that's not happening, 'k?" said Nastasia, using her powers to bring the Scotsman back into the castle.

"Ach, Dimentio, ye'r gonna pay for tha' one," O'Chunks said, shoving Dimentio over.

"Are you trying to harass me? I-" Dimentio said, before Mimi stuffed a roll of toilet paper in his mouth. "Now that's just disgusting," Dimentio said, after spitting it out.

"Whatever. We still have a lot of work to do," Mimi said.

DING DONG!

"No!" said Mimi, nervous. "What do we… someone who's NOT Dimentio, what do we do?"

"It isnae a big deal, Mimi; this is how the house is, this is how it stays," said O'Chunks.

Nastasia slowly opened the door, seeing the eager worker in front of her. "You're Kyogreperson?"

"Yup!" said Kyogreperson. "But since we're working together, you can just call me Kyo!"

"Yeah, okay," said Nastasia. "Come this way and meet the count, 'k?"

"Okay!" said Kyo, happily stepping inside the house.

"Who'd this be?" said O'Chunks.

"I'm Kyogreperson, but you can call me Kyo!" said Kyo, excitedly waving.

"…" said all five.

"This… is…" Mimi began.

"Perfect!" said Dimentio, smiling and stifling a few chortles.

"Dimentio, if ye mess with 'er, I will personally harm ye," said O'Chunks.

"Ah, shut it, oaf," said Dimentio.

"OAF!" O'Chunks said. He reeled his fist back, preparing to punch him coworker in the face.

"Hey hey hey!" said Kyo, getting between the two. "Violence isn't the answer! We're all friends in here!"

"…" said all five again. Kyo facepalmed.

"If we hurt each other, then how are we gonna rule the universe?" she asked.

"Well this isn't really all that much of a community effort, you see, this is sort of a work-together-and-try-to-win-on-your-own sort of thing," Mimi said.

"Not exactly," Bleck interjected, "this is more of an effort for me."

"PSSSSSSSSSSSSH right," said Dimentio, laughing.

"Dimentio! Silence yourself!" Bleck shouted.

"Make me!"

BATTLE TIME! COUNT BLECK- HP: 100, ATK: 12, DEF: 6; DIMENTIO- HP: 150, ATK: 11, DEF: 4

"You'll pay for this, Dimentio!" said Bleck, using mystical and creepy magic to cast an evil spell on Dimentio, making the jester fall asleep AND lose 12 HP.

"…" said O'Chunks, Mimi, Nastasia, and Kyo.

"Okay," said O'Chunks, returning to his business.

"Meh," said Mimi, going to her room.

"Anyway, come with me, Kyo, I'm gonna show you 'round the castle, 'k?" Nastasia said.

"Really?" Kyo said, surprised at how nice this gesture was.

"No," said Nastasia, leaving.

Kyo facepalmed. "O RLY?"

Nastasia facepalmed. "YA RLY."

Kyo facepalmed. "O RLY?"

Nastasia facepalmed. "YA R-" she got out, before having her mouth covered by Dimentio's hand.

"Be quiet! All of you!" he yelled, ashamed at how epically he failed in his loss to Count Bleck.

"That's the sound of defeat to you, isn't it, Dimentio?" Bleck laughed.

"…" Dimentio said. "No it's not!"

"Dimentio, come here," said Kyo, embracing the jester in a tight hug. "Let it out, buddy. It's okay, you can talk to me about anything, whenever you want." Kyo patted him on the back.

"This is REALLY uncomfortable," Dimentio said. Kyo was too busy giving him reassuring talk to hear him.

"I don't think she gets it," Bleck whispered to Nastasia.

"She like needs to go," said Nastasia.

"Excuse me, Kyo?" said Bleck.

"Yes?" said Kyo, looking at him whilst holding Dimentio.

"You need to leave," said Bleck.

"WHAT?" Kyo yelled. She threw Dimentio to the ground, and her eyes lit up with an internal fire that burned so hot, that Bleck began to sweat. Kyo reeled back, ready to punch him in the face with her Fire Fist, but someone grabbed her hand.

"Watch ye'self, lassie!" said O'Chunks, stopping her.

"Look at what she did to Dimentio!" said Mimi, smiling.

"Yes…" said Bleck.

"We're keeping her," said Nastasia.

The six new workers of Count Bleck's Castle all epically walked in, and their names appeared under them as they entered and epic tones played.

BLECK!

NASTASIA!

O'CHUNKS!

MIMI!

DIMENTIO!

KYO!

BLECK FORCE SIX!

"I still think tha' Bleck Force Five sounded be'er," said O'Chunks, only to be flicked in the ear by Kyo. "Augh!"

"What was that?" Kyo said.

"Wha' I said was, I still think tha' Bleck Force Five…" O'Chunks began, only to be punched in the face by Kyo.

"O RLY?" she said.

"YA R… no! I'm no' startin' this!" O'Chunks said.

Kyo facepalmed. "Weenie," she whispered.

"Dimentio! Make her shut up!" O'Chunks said.

"I'm busy!" Dimentio said. He held a stick in hand, with a half molten mega giant marshmallow on the end, and was slowly lowering it only Mimi's head.

"DIMENTIO!" yelled Nastasia. Dimentio twitched, and the marshmallow flew back, smashing into Kyo's face.

"…" said Kyo.

"…" said Dimentio.

"…You. Will. DIE!" Kyo yelled. Summoning all the fire within her, she launched a giant fireball at Dimentio.

"!" Dimentio said. The fire smashed into him, burning him to a black crisp, which, in a cartoon fashion, disintegrated onto the floor. Dimentio's eyes narrowed as he mentally facepalmed.

"I'll take care of this," said Mimi. Using a fireplace shovel and broom, she swept Dimentio's ashes into the shovel, and emptied them into the trashcan.

Thus, everyone's nerves had been saved, and it was all thanks to the new employee- Kyo.

FIN