Sex-free version. The full story may be found on Livejournal in the CLC community and my own journal.

Thanks to Staci for the beta. ILU, baby.

Disclaimer: dood, fanfiction. Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, and the characters and universes therein are the property of Disney and Square Enix. I receive no remuneration for this work; it is a parody and as such utilizes the Fair Use clause of the Copyright Act.

"Leonhart."

Leon narrowed his eyes at the computer in front of him, not lifting his gaze from the screen nor his fingers from the keys. "Strife."

"Cavern. Swordfight. Now."

"Cloud, can't you see I'm busy here? If these schematics don't get done soon, we'll miss the deadline—"

"Which you set yourself, if you remember," Cloud hissed, suddenly standing so close behind him Leon could feel the heat and energy radiating off the unusually high-strung man. "I need to let off some steam. You do too. Cave. Now."

Leon glared over his shoulder at the blond, fiery steel-blue eyes boring into Mako-blue for a full minute before he deigned to respond.

"...Fine."

The brunet rose abruptly, much to Cloud's surprise. It hadn't taken nearly as much effort as he'd anticipated, but he certainly wasn't going to complain. He watched in silence as the gunblader retrieved his weapon, eyes narrowing slightly as Leon cast a glance back at the computer.

"Please."

Leon pivoted to face him with one eyebrow quirked, trying to put a name to the strange, conflicted...almost pleading tone that last word held.

"We're going..." he said carefully after several seconds, giving the younger man a small nod and walking past him out the door. He didn't have to look back to know Cloud was less than one pace behind him.

By the time they neared the remote cavern they'd found a few weeks prior, Leon's adrenaline was already pumping in anticipation. He stole frequent glances at the quiet swordsman along the way, but was unable to get a reading on him. The hell had brought all this on?

Upon reaching the narrow entrance, Leon gave no warning before he roared and spun around, leaping towards Cloud with his blade drawn. The blond grunted and quickly jumped back, hoisting his own sword off his back and crouching slightly in preparation for the next attack. He parried it swiftly when it came, smiling internally at the intensity scribed on his companion's features as they continued to battle, eventually making their way into the cave.

At the very first hint of a misstep on Leon's behalf—a rarity in itself—Cloud knocked the gunblade from his grasp and threw both it and his own sword to the ground in favor of fisting his hands in the fur ruff of the older man's jacket. He gave him a rough shove, and Leon's back met the cavern wall. The sable-haired man grunted as a fair amount of air was knocked out of his lungs, and he growled deep in his throat and launched forward, fully prepared to engage in hand-to-hand combat.

They fought for roughly fifteen minutes before Cloud decided he'd had enough and moved forward with his plan. He caught Leon off guard and swept one leg between the taller man's, kicking out to the side and knocking him off balance just enough to wrestle him to the ground.

"Thought you...ahh, thought you wanted to spar," Leon grunted, trapped on his side by the blond's legs; one knee was on the ground on each side of his hip, arms pinned to his spine by an iron grip and his chest pressed hard into the rough floor of the cavern. He twisted a little to glare up at the younger warrior, struggle beginning to slow as he warily eyed the strange glint to Cloud's luminescent gaze.

"Don't worry, you'll get your exercise," Cloud purred into his ear, tightening the muscles of his left thigh against his captive's groin and smirking to himself at the low, wordless verbalization the pressure induced.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Leon retorted, wrenching an arm loose to fist his fingers into the hair at the crown of Cloud's head and clenching his teeth against another sound as hot lips found his neck and strong hands abandoned their remaining hold on him to grip his ass, fingers flexing into the leather-bound flesh.

"Mm, both."

This time, Leon couldn't have held back the moan if he tried.

Eventually, Leon stirred.

"...Should get back," he murmured reluctantly.

Cloud sighed, dropping his twined arms from around Leon's neck. "Yeah..."

"Don' want to..."

Cloud smiled slowly. "Huh. So he can be distracted from work."

A tiny upward curve cracked the line of Leon's lips. "No..."

"Oh, I think I just succeeded. And you just sai—"

Leon rolled his eyes and silenced him with a firm press of his lips.

Cloud took that as an acceptable admission, quite sure that the next time he called Leon out, he would rise without hesitation. He moved his smirking mouth easily against the brunet's, massaging the back of his neck with one hand as he deepened the kiss. Surely a few more minutes wouldn't matter...