The chill arctic winds howled. He drew his bulky hood tighter against the cold. It always brought a wry smile to his face, to think that he had chosen to make this inhospitable place his sometimes home. He didn't think he would ever get used to the merciless cold and space. But it was worth it, for her.
The ice and snow crunched under his boots as he struggled along his chosen path. Those few that he passed outside nodded acknowledgment and approval. Of course they knew who he was, and were glad he was here. Any settlement in the world would have been honored to count the Avatar as one of its visitors.
He cleared his mind as he neared his destination. There were fewer dwellings here. He liked that. It made his time here more intimate, when his time and attention were not demanded by the many. He gratefully entered the ice building. It was here he tried to spend his time when he was not attending to the world's needs as Avatar.
Silence greeted him, though not a cold silence like on the tundra. Here there was a warm feeling, as if someone had just stepped out into the next room. He slowly removed his bulky over clothes and walked to his favorite spot. As he sat down cross legged, he slid his hand over the warm grass. It still awed him that such a place could exist in such an inhospitable environment.
He peered into the still waters, disturbed only by the slow, hypnotic rhythms of Twi and La. He felt his grasp on the physical world beginning to loosen. As he raised his eyes, he thought he saw a bright shimmering light, beautiful eyes, and a familiar smile. It was only a moment before the physical world slipped away.
He found himself in the Spirit World. His clothes resembled what he had worn so long ago on the day of Black Sun, and on occasions since. The swampy surroundings took him back to his first visit to this particular part of the spirit world, when he was younger, and had no idea of what the future would bring. He looked to the usual spot, and saw the familiar meditating monkey spirit. In all the times they had met, the spirit always treated him like a pest, and never volunteered his name.
The Monkey Spirit, feeling a new presence, opened one eye. Upon spying the intruder, he then proceeded to roll said eye. "Are you come again to harass me, Avatar?"
Aang smiled. In his visits here, he had tried different tactics to break the ice and befriend the spirit, but nothing worked. He had even gotten a bit frustrated by the spirit's lack of respect for him. But by now he merely accepted it.
"No, monkey spirit, I'm here for another reason, as enthralling as I find our time together." Aang smirked.
The spirit hmphed. "That was a dig at me, wasn't it?"
"Noooo, of course not," Aang drawled with a smile, merely engaging him to pass the time until...she showed up.
He felt a rush of wind. It stood out for him in the unresponsive air of the spirit world. His heart jumped a beat and the hairs on the back of his neck rose with a full body sense of anticipation. Yet he kept his back turned. It embarrassed him to be so unable to control his emotions around her.
"I show up only to find you two messing around, huh?" Her voice sounded like she was trying to be stern, but couldn't hide her amusement. The monkey spirit sputtered, mumbling something about the bald monk starting it, but Aang just ignored him. The air grew still again, expectant. He waited for her to say something, but there was only silence. She was waiting on him.
He realized he would have to face her eventually. Screwing up his motivation, he spun around, whirling her into his vision. And his breath caught. Even though he didn't need to breathe here, every time he saw her, it felt like he was dying. In a good way, he mused.
His eyes lingered on her tanned dark skin, her flowing robes, her shining blue eyes, and her brilliant white hair, noticing the light that seemed to emanate from her very being. "Yue..." The name came out halfway between a joyous exclamation and a whispered prayer.
She smiled, her eyes crinkling with a genuine good nature. "It's so good to see you again Aang. I know we both have our duties that keep us busy," here her smile faltered a bit with bashfulness, "and that why I really appreciate you doing this for me," and now her smile returning to its enlightening gleam.
Aang did all he could to keep up with the conversation, but he was still adjusting to her presence. It was like stepping out of a dark cave into a cloudless night with a full moon gleaming. And though he couldn't bend here, the part of him that was a water bender could feel her pull on his being.
He noticed her expectant look and realized that she was awaiting a response. Making an educated guess, he responded, "I love coming here, to see you. I love seeing you anywhere." He realized that his statement sounded silly, but Yue giggled happily, hiding her mouth behind her flowing sleeves, with a hint of blush reaching her face. Aang smiled at the sound of her magical laugh, knowing that in this instance, it was good enough.
Yue smiled again, then cast a look at the monkey spirit, who was unabashedly gawking. "Let's find somewhere a little more private Aang." She reached out her hand and smiled for him to take it. He found himself lost in her eyes, and slowly closed the gap, entwining his fingers with hers. She giggled at the contact. Now that he was touching her, his head seemed to clear. She was less a vision now, more real, more here, more now. Eyes connected, they rose into the air as she guided them to their next destination.
"I know just the place. And we won't have to worry about Koh bothering us." She laughed, but he didn't feel so confident. Still, he decided that she knew what she was doing, and let his concern drift away.
They eventually landed in a dewy green meadow in a dense forest. The forest seemed quiet, yet full of hidden life. The sky was beginning to brighten and melt away the mists, reminiscent of a cool morning in the physical plane.
"So...how've you been? Or how is the Spirit World?" his words tripped over themselves. She laughed like flower petals floating on the wind. She laughed easily and often, but in a subtle way that made him wish he could make her laugh forever. He wondered what he did to make her laugh, but his brain could never settle on what amused her.
"It's been good, Aang," she smiled. "Just spirit stuff, you know," He thought to himself that, in fact, he did not know, but he couldn't express any thought or emotion that wasn't happiness around her. She never seemed open to talking about her life or the spirit world, although she had never ostensibly denied him. She just had a way of re-routing the conversation in such a way that he never did notice.
"What about you? What are things like back in the physical realm?" He knew that she would ask this question. His visits to the spirit world always revolved around a detailed account of his journeys in the land of the living. She would always couch her request in light terms, but he knew that it meant a lot to her. He began to regale her with tales of his duties, and his interactions with his friends.
When he mentioned Sokka, she only reacted a little bit more than when he mentioned Katara or his other friends. At first it had bothered him, playing off his guilt in coming here, but as she never dug any deeper, or sought any specific information about her former lover, his mind had been reassured.
Eventually he ran out of stories to tell, and cast about for anything else that might string a few sentences together. She enjoyed hearing about even very mundane things, such as chores or uneventful travels or small talk between neighbors. While still in thought, he heard her laugh, and she pressed his hand. They had never let go since their first touch.
"Thank you, Aang. I am so grateful that you do this for me." Her countenance was shining. The sun had risen and the meadow was a gladsome place. He noticed it but fleetingly in his side vision, given the choice to gaze on a celestial spirit in good humor. Her lashes fluttered as she looked up at him. "Aang...I love you." She said it so confidently and matter of factly, without a hint of blush or embarrassment, as only a spirit could.
His surroundings seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them. She paused, as the gears in his brain seemed to whir and click, trying to catch and start again. She smiled softly, almost sadly, though he missed it, and she leaned into him. He felt her warmth and it brought him back to the present moment. He looked down at her, and she rose her gaze to him, looking from under her lashes. He was helpless against her onslaught. She wanted him to love her, and he would, leaving nothing back.
She pursed her lips and her eyes slid almost shut, tempting, inviting. She twisted her free hand into his robes, and taking his hand in her other hand, she wrapped his arm around her, leaning even closer into him. She pulled herself up to him, and...
Their lips met by a seemingly mutual accord, bodies moving on the same wavelength. She gasped, and he tightened his grip on her, as if afraid she might melt away before he could fully express himself. His free hand rose to cup her check, to increase the surface that was connected between them.
Eventually Yue seemed to take the initiative, sighing breathlessly and smiling into his lips. But Aang quickly recovered, breaking the long kiss into several smaller pecks and swipes that wrung a wanting moan from Yue that thrilled him to his core. He trailed his kisses down her neck, eliciting more noises from her waiting mouth, arriving at her collarbone before returning and meeting her lips once more.
By this time, Yue found herself sitting completely in Aang's lap, though she could not totally remember how she had gotten there, or whether it had been her doing or his. Eventually they had to break contact and rest, though not for air. The feelings brought on by their passionate kiss had exhausted them both emotionally, and they needed to rest.
Aang laughed, and now it was Yue wondering what he had found so funny. She sat with her back resting on his chest, as he sat cross legged in the meadow. She tilted her head back and saw a bit of red creeping onto his neck and face. She cocked an eyebrow and looked around to see what had affected him. Maybe someone was watching? Then she saw what he had seen, and joined in with a bashful laugh.
All around them, the meadow had burst forth into bloom. She laughed incredulously and he laughed along with her. It brought a suggestive vibe to the proceedings that, while not quite embarrassing, shocked them out of their previous mood into a contented silence. They smiled and she let him hold her.
"Oh, Aang, this has been an almost perfect day."
"Huh?" Aang sputtered, looking around. The sun had begun to go below the tree level, and the sky was awash with pinks and oranges that foretold the coming night. Aang wasn't exactly sure how time worked here, lending even more of a dreamlike quality to his visits to the spirit realm.
"It's always so hard for me to let you go," she began.
"But I don't want to go. I will stay here with you," he countered, almost reflexively. She laughed.
"You always say that, Aang." He blushed sheepishly, remembering. He did always say that. "And I love you for that," she continued, raising her hand to cup his cheek and gazing into his eyes, as if trying to communicate with more than words. He understood this, and looked away. She faltered, not knowing what this meant.
"Yue, I love you," he said, low but clear. She smiled a sad smile. A single tear welled in her eye and trailed down her cheek.
"I love you as well, Aang, and I love when you visit me. It makes me feel so alive and so...mortal. But the world needs its Avatar. That is your nature. You must be part of the world." When Aang seemed about to interrupt she continued, "And it is also part of your nature to attend to the world of spirits, which is why we can do this, and be together." Aang sighed and dropped his head.
She placed her hands on either side of his face and lifted his gaze to meet hers. "I will always be here, waiting for you. And when you die, I will be there to carry your spirit away to safer shores." Yue smiled brittlely, her eyes welling up. Aang sighed and closed his eyes, all of his stress draining from his face. "But until then, we both must attend our duties, or the Punisher, Koh, will take away our happiness."
Now sadness marked her face, although, far from taking away from her beauty, it added to and enhanced. The sky above them grew darker, and her features seemed to glow slightly wherever there was not light enough to illuminate them. But Aang's face held no sorrow, for it seemed as if he had lost himself, and was drifting into slumber. He gazed upon her face, and wondered why she was so sad. He would do anything to comfort her.
She rose, but he could not follow. His limbs were heavy, and he wanted only to rest. She bent and lifted him into her arms. He felt a pang of bashfulness at being carried like a child, but more than that he felt warmth and snuggled closer. The coming night had brought a chill. Yue looked down at his drowsy form and felt a pang in her heart, but she knew her duty. She rose into the air.
They arrived at the place that marked Aang's entrance into the spirit world. Here it was the same as it ever was, warm and moist and swamp-like, although the change did little to rouse the sleeping Avatar.
The monkey spirit, meditating as always, roused one eye at their approach. He smirked a bit at the conked out young man. "Out like a light," he murmured, "And so much more agreeable like that." He would have continued, but the sight of the melancholy Moon Spirit gave him pause, and he continued his meditation, although supplementing his search for enlightenment with the occasional glance at her glowing form.
Yue knelt down, lowering Aang into position with his physical body. While uncertain amounts of time had passed in the spirit realm, no more than half a day had passed in the physical world. Aang would need food and rest. After arranging his sleepy form correctly, she paused. Her heart suddenly welled up at the thought of letting him go, and another tear traced her cheek. She bent low, lips close to his ear. "Come see me again," she whispered, pleading and commanding in the same tone.
Though she meant to be subtle, it carried and the monkey spirit heard, immediately feeling ashamed for having witnessed such an intimate scene. Later it would change to annoyance that they insisted on meeting in his swamp, never once considering to himself that he might move.
She finished by lighting a soft kiss on his cheek, her lashes feathering his temple. Even in sleep, he reacted, seeking out the source of the kiss vainly, before his body began to glow, and he was transported out of her realm. Even with his presence gone, she could still feel and sense him near. She would wait until he was gone.
The monkey spirit thought about it, and then decided to break the silence. "Have a nice visit?" he asked as nicely as he could bring himself. She didn't respond, eyes still closed, still facing where the bald young man had just been. Not getting a reaction, the monkey spirit trailed off.
"Pshh, I hate her," he lied to himself.
Aang woke in the Spirit Oasis. Here it was warm. Yet, in his heart there was a chill, the chill of something missing, of parting. Unbidden and unchecked, tears rolled down his face. It was such a beautiful heart ache, such a beautiful pain.
He roused himself and rose from the grass. His body felt a bit stiff, and he wondered how long he had been gone. He could remember fleeting scenes and memories of his time in the spirit world, with Yue. But more than the actual events, he could remember the warm feelings of contentment and joy. He felt like he had woken from a particularly pleasant dream, and the waking world was cold comfort. Even more so was the thought of the frigid ice outside.
But as he thought of it, he thought of his friends, waiting for him. And he thought of people he knew, and events that needed his input. And a warmth started to build in his heart, for everything that he cared about here. He pulled on his winter clothes in preparation and headed for the entrance to the ice shrine.
As he did, he looked back, feeling the rhythmic pull on his heart. He would return. He knew he would. But he would never tell his friends the exact nature of his visits here. He could never tell...Sokka.
The guilt at what he was allowed to enjoy, and the impossibility of explaining to his friend, fell to the background as he turned to leave.