I can hear the murmurs within the mage's dormitory, I can read the vapid expressions on the faces of the guards as I pass them by en route to my meditations. There is something entirely wrong with my world and everyone in it, something of which I fear I am the only observer. It discomforts me to know that Cecil has once again slipped through my fingers and abandoned my embrace for this chance at redemption through perils unknown. Both of them, gone—Cecil and Kain.
The Carnelian Ring, was that not what it was called? The name brings a sudden pain to my breast, a pang of the heart that does not still. Something awaits them there, I know it. It resides in Baigan's eyes, and in the small smile that he believes he conceals so well. There are lies spun so thickly, they could catch and choke anyone caught in the web. Will Cecil be the bait?
I have spent many long hours standing on the battlements and palisade walls. I have memorized the pattern of the stone flagging and the number of bricks in the gatehouse.
If I were to list my skills, I would have to include the talent of enduring the long-suffering wait. It may as well be a profession, as I spend most of my days standing atop the walls waiting for news that never comes. The other maidens, the ones who cry to their mothers when their lovers or heroes have gone, consider me a champion of their rank. I do not understand their esteem, nor can I afford to run crying home to my mother, not even to Cid, who regards me as his own daughter. I made my choice to stay faithful to Cecil, and I must see it through trials and joys alike. This is the cost I pay for abandoning my mother's words of wisdom, her advice of not shelving my life for the sake of someone else. This is my pride. She does not even know my resolve, nor do I give her the chance to see the tears that glitter on my cheeks and chill my face as the day deepens into nightfall and still I stand alone.
It has been a long time that I've watched my love swathed in armor the cast of hell's deepest caverns. Long have I seen his soul burdened with a darkness that I cannot staunch with my craft, like an illness with no cure. No one knows how I suffer, they only feign sympathy, waiting for their men to return to quell their physical longings, and cannot grasp the investment of a lifetime of shared memories and pain commonly suffered…or secrets shared in the comfort of a stolen embrace…
The tremors from the north shook even the earth beneath Baron. Baigan does not hide his sneer, and who is this frightening knight that joins him now? Days have passed and no one has heard from the travelers, and my breath catches in my throat. Where has Cecil gone? Have the mountains claimed him within their jagged maws? Plans have been set into motion and I see soldiers sent with swords at their sides. It becomes clear to me, then. Cecil has made his decision and left me behind. When he voiced his concerns, I had not dared to think he might go so far. Was Kain with him still?
This is the last night I stand atop the tower, staring at the long-cold trail of my love. This is the last time I stay at home and wait like a proper lady ought to. No one sees as I slip through the gates, healing herbs in hand, and a bundle of armaments in the other. They will not look for me until it is too late, they will not find me in the mage's study by morning, dutifully practicing the healing words.
I travel outward alone, but I do not intend to remain alone for long.