Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
A/N: The first poem is out of my other story 'The Last Of Winter's Days', so yes, this can be read as a sequel to it. Hope you will love this.
Unknown Parts
Blaine spends the next night reading it over and over those last two line of the love letter and the love poem Kurt gave him.
You are my light shining.
With you I see, so much more. There is so much more to see, with you.
Our Love
Both our hands feel cold, that day, we find each other,
That November.
Holding each other the warmth is impossible to make out with a
Look,
If you do not know
Where to look, nor how to see.
xxxx
But we do.
We do know.
And we do look.
And see.
And the cold air that surrounds us does not bother.
Has not bothered us
Since last year's autumn came around,
With colors so bright and air that smelled of
Rain, water, life.
xxxx
The calendar has moved on, promising
From tomorrow on,
Spring,
Promising,
For warmth to fill the world, and support that which is always there,
Within.
xxxx
We know where to look.
We have,
We hold
Our own
Warmth.
xxxx
The cold of the last months
If anything
Having allowed us to feel it
More fiercely,
Between the covers,
During day
At night.
xxxx
In our eyes,
Across a room,
A hall,
Full of others.
Strangers,
Mostly.
xxxx
In our voices,
on the phone.
In the way the lines and letters flow
More freely,
In your words to me,
In my words to you,
That extra spring
To our writing,
Our love
Notes,
Our love.
Blaine's hands shake with nerves as he reaches for his well-read copy of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and flips to the second to last page to take a piece of paper, folded twice from it, looking just as well worn as the book itself.
Tears, clearly not the first drip on it as Blaine tries to wipe them away with the back of his hands. "I hope you'll understand," he whispers into thin air, the quiet quickly settling back broken by sobs.
xxxx
„Kurt!" Blaine stops him in the parking lot the next day.
He turns and his smile falls as he sees Blaine's worried face. "Baby? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Blaine is quick to say, too quick.
And Kurt is starting to really get worried now, "Baby, Blaine, please tell me."
Blaine lets out a heavy sigh, then his hands find Kurt's, and he squeezes lightly, as he always does when nerves come and he does not exactly know how to ask for closeness.
But Kurt understands, he does not need to hear the words, but he knows Blaine does need to know he is being understood, so Kurt leans forward, brushes his left cheek gently against Blaine's right and whispers into Blaine's ear, "Let's get out of here."
And Kurt knows Blaine has heard him, when he tilts his head a little, cheeks pressing closer whispering "Thank you."
xxxx
It is only when they get to Kurt's and are wrapped around each other on his bead, a quilt covering their shoe and sockless forms, but otherwise still fully clothed, that Blaine reaches for something under the quilt.
Kurt looks on curiously as Blaine's hand reappears with a paper looking torn and old and well-worn.
"I wanted you to know. No, I…I need you to know."
And now Blaine's hands are shaking as he tries to unfold the in parts already ripped paper.
"Baby," Kurt says as he cups Blaine's cheek, and gently guides his face towards his own, placing a soft kiss onto Blaine's lips. And as Blaine kisses back his hands sink back to rest on the covers.
The shaking has completely stopped by the time they move out of the kiss and back into looking at each other.
"Should I?" Kurt mouths sweetly.
Blaine gives a small but decisive nod.
As Kurt unfolds the paper Blaine asks, "Could you hold it up so I can read it to you?"
"Of course, Baby."
"Thank you," Blaine says as he finds hold with his arms wrapping around Kurt's waist under the quilt.
He pulls himself as close to Kurt as he can, tangles their legs under the covers and buries his face briefly in Kurt's warm body, breathing in deep.
And Kurt runs his now free left hand through Blaine's curls, over and over, knowing Blaine only gets like this when he needs to make sure he does not forget he is here, and safe, with Kurt.
So even as Blaine turns and starts reading Kurt does not stop the gentle caressing of Blaine's hair.
"I wrote this when the bullying was really bad, at school…and at home. Some days my parents were worse than them."
Kurt does not need to ask who 'them' is. He understands.
Blaine takes a stuttering breath before he adds, "I …I sometimes have been feeling it again those last weeks, and maybe it is because of Cooper coming by soon, and I…I know I will just always be that ridiculously huge disappointment to them, always…compared to him. I needed to tell someone, NO, you, I want you to know, I am not angry or upset because of anything you did should I snap at you the next weeks, I sometimes can't help it," and then there are tears, "and I cannot lose you over this old pain, you are too important to me."
"Thank you for trusting me."
""I…I'm going to read this to you now, okay?"
"Of course, Baby," Kurt places a kiss to Blaine's forehead.
"So, yeah, this is how I felt when I learned about Dalton, but it all felt like a dream, and it hurt too, to know that there was a place where I would not have had to suffer all that time."
I am not scared of the world
But of what grows inside of me
When I look too close
What people do
So I look away
Hoping my hate won't grow
As I turn in on me
My eyes may be closed but I still see
what has already seeped into me
So my cries grow louder
And my sobs grow hard
As my frame shakes there are no sparks
Of hope I have not heard in far too long
But there has been a spark
And as the fire burns my lungs I breathe the smoke
Is all I do just more poison to the world
Is the best I can do…
…take me away from you
What if all the protection I have to offer is to leave
Am I protecting me or you?
I would pack my bags if I thought anything here was worthwhile taking
I don't even have to look to know
All I need walking out of this door is a deep breath and me
So I take that breath
I turn
And I run
Into the cold night air
Finally my lungs stand no longer in flames
And as I breathe in
I am proud to no more breathe smoke or fire
I am out
And your words won't hurt
And your eyes will not sting any longer on my skin
I left my hate with you
Do with it whatever you will
It was yours to begin with
So you really don't have to feel too bad taking it back.
And so I leave my hate with you
It was yours to begin with
Oh yes I leave your hate and you.
Blaine is a sobbing mess in Kurt's arms as soon as the last line has left his lips.
"I understand, Baby. I felt so, so much like that. I am here, I am here, Baby. I am here, Blaine."
They strip to their boxers, and climb properly under the covers in the next minutes, the quilt adding extra warmth felt needed. And then there are hours of just holding each other, Blaine feeling closer, more whole than before in Kurt's arms, having finally shared this part of himself with Kurt.