[I can see the morning creeping up on us
It's like the worlds in my hands now
I'm feeling so rebellious from all of the envy crowding around me
I don't wanna care right now
I don't wanna care right now
No I really don't, really don't, wanna care right now.]
Sirius Black took Marlene's fragile looking hand into his, and led her down the hallway. She was completely drunk and he felt guilty, sure, but not guilty enough to stop what he was doing. Besides, he wasn't exactly sober either, he told himself. And Remus had broken up with her, hadn't he? They weren't even talking. Sirius opened the door to the boy's dormitory and pulled Marlene in after him. As he pushed her towards his bed, he felt a sense of nostalgia. Her breath mingled with alcohol, her blonde hair falling over her brown eyes, the first three buttons of her blouse undone to show the top of her black lace bra… Things were supposed to be like this, weren't they? Things were back to normal.
Well almost. The brown roots of her hair were showing, and this detail bothered him. Was she trying to grow out the blonde? That had been Remus's idea, hadn't it? He said it made her look more natural, more mature, and more like who she really was. Sirius preferred it blonde. That was the Marlene he knew.
Marlene reached forward and pulled him down on top of her. That was the Marlene he knew, also. She kissed him, hard, and sighed when his lips moved from her lips, trailing a fine line down her neck, lower, lower…
"Reems…" she moaned, arching her back in pleasure, her eyes closing. Sirius tells himself he doesn't care, he doesn't… All he wants is to get inside of her, to touch her, to made her gasp in that little way he loves… Loves. Fuck. He pulls away.
"Marlene. Marls. Stop." He said, looking away from her and she looks at him in question, her red swollen lips parting slightly. It drives him insane, and he feels his heart pounding in his ears. "Fuck it. I can't… Oh fuck." He said, kissing her again, and she doesn't pull away.
Soon her clothes are discarded on the floor, and as he pressed against her, moving his hips against her, she whispers the words he was waiting for. "Please. Oh, please…" she whimpers, grinding harder, and gripping her fingers into his jeans, pulling them down.
He enters her swiftly and her eyes dilate from the painful ecstasy. Sirius thrusts steadily, not knowing how fragile she really is, but now she is whimpering for him to go harder, harder, please… She moans, her nails digging into his back.
"Marlene, Marlene, Marlene…" he whispers, and her name sounds so perfect, so unconditionally perfect on his lips, and he feels her begin to shudder under him, reaching her peak.
"Remus, oh…"
Sirius feels his heart shatter, and he tells himself that he doesn't care, it doesn't matter, he is Sirius Black for crying out loud… But he does care. She is so perfect; everything about her draws him in. But the name she moans, whispers, needs… It belongs to his best friend.
Sirius comes moments later, but the ecstasy is lessened. His first time with the girl he loves has been spent under the influence, and for god's sake, she won't even remember it.
"I love you." She whispers, closing her brown eyes. Sirius has a bitter taste in his mouth but he replies anyway, wishing he was the person she wants him to be.
"I love you too."
Sirius isn't lying.
Part Two