Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a narrator who took it upon herself to screw up every story she could get her hands on. With complete and utter disregard for the opinions of others, authors and fans alike, she made it her mission to corrupt any good plot line or character development she had the means to. With the help of her tech-savvy computer and her skills of destroying anything she put her mind to, she quickly set to work on annoying the crap out of everybody. These are her stories.

On a moon of Bogden (the one with all the graves), Anakin decided to ask Padme a very important question.

Anakin smiled as he pulled her gently by the hand out of the J27 Nuvian he had "borrowed" from Padme's landing pad.

"Where are you taking me?" Padme whined, pulling at the blindfold tied delicately around her eyes.

"Don't!" Anakin scolded, slapping her hand softly.

"Ow!" Padme whined.

"Here, let me kiss it better," Anakin suggested, taking her hand and caressing it with his lips.

"Anakin, you're breaking my heart," Padme cried.

"No, Padme, no!" the narrator scolded, "Not yet!"

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Padme amended, "What I meant to say was, 'Ew! Cut it out!'"

Anakin's face fell, "Padme, don't you love me anymore?"

"Depends. How much money you got?" she asked.

Anakin frowned, then shook it off. "Maybe if you took off your blindfold, you would feel a lot better." He gently removed the cloth from her eyes and motioned to a table set up for a romantic dinner, moonlight and everything. In the middle of the table set a vase full of Padme's favorite flowers from Naboo.

Anakin smiled, knowing she would love it. But Padme turned her nose up in disgust. "You brought me to a graveyard? Is this some way of telling me you plan on killing me and the baby?"

"What baby? We haven't even done it yet. You're acting really odd, Padme. What's wrong?"

"Well, if you must know, I skipped ahead in the movies."

Anakin looked at her in confusion. "What? What are you talking about? What movies?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Padme snapped, "I already know what's gonna happen. You go through that emo phase after your mom dies, and you're never the same again."

Anakin looked at her in horror. "My mom's dead?!"

"Dang it, Padme! You have to say SPOILER ALERT! before you go off and ruin the ending for everyone!" the narrator reproved.

"I'll have you know that I don't like this!" she back-talked the narrator, "I didn't agree to my one true love killing me!"

"Anakin will never have the chance to kill you," the narrator threatened darkly.

Suddenly, Padme stopped breathing. Then she fell over dead.

"Padme?" Anakin knelt by her side. He shook her, but he knew it did no good. He could sense she was gone. "Padme! Noooooo!"

"You're an emo kid, nonconformist as can be," the narrator said to him.

Anakin continued crying over the body of his dead beloved.

The narrator growled, grumbling, "Darn emo kids never go along with it."

And at the crossroads of life, he found a truck.

The End