Promises Undone

Nobody wins with war

"I swear I will protect you or die by your side"

Catergory: Gen (Canon AU)

Pairings: Merlin/Arthur mentioning of Mordred.

Warnings/Ratings: Heartbreak and tissues alert! Death of Character. T rated.

Summary: Merlin had sworn to protect Arthur or to die by his side. So when the moment was there for Arthur greatest time of need, it wasn' t more than normal for Arthur to expect Merlin to be by his side... so then why wasn' t he here?

"Bless this sword my sweet little dragon friend" Morgana smirked as she held out what appeared to be a newly forged sword. Not a scratch on the metal fresh from the blacksmith.

Aithusa breathed in deeply before throwing a large concentrated flame on the metal. Making it glow up in the heat of it.

Morgana petted Aithusa on the head with a pleased smile on her face. As she held the sword up and admired it. The sword that would put her brother out of his misery. Arthur would be no longer, and she would take her rightful place in ruling Camelot. Than once again magic would rule.

"Your blade, Mordred" She handed the sword to him carefully. "Forged in a dragon's breath, nothing can survive it's touch. A weapon worthy of my proudest warrior.

Mordred took the blade, carefully holding it up while inspecting the blade. It looked like no more than an ordinary sword. Who would guess such power would be behind such a simple weapon. Now where magic had failed so often to destroy king Arthur and those who aided him. He would be struck down by the weapon he admired the most.

'Clarent – the sword of piece' the sword that had been given to Arthur by his father. A wepon king Uther had won many battles with, the legacy he had left to Arthur. Arthur probably hadn' t even noticed it was missing though, Mordred had snuck it out of the castle and returned it to Morgana to forge a blade that would certainly kill Arthur Pendragon.

"Than I shall wield it in victory, and with honour" Mordred smiled calmly as he gave a reassuring nod to the lady Morgana.

–-

Meanwhile at the castle Arthur and his most loyal knights sat around the round table. Several maps laid spread out on the table in front of them.

"To reach Camelot, Morgana will have no choice but to cross the White Mountains." He took one of the smaller maps still rolled together and spread it out in front of them. "Now, the pass that gives passage to an army that size, is here." He added while pointing at a place on the map.

Sir Percival nodded "I know it well. This path leads a valley by cliffs on the other side."

Arthur looked up seriously "Then that's where we'll meet them. Now we may be outnumbered, but if we don't let them outflank us then we can hold the pass."

Leon frowned slightly worried "But for how long? Morgana has no care for the likes of men."

Arthur shook his head slightly "She can't supply an army of that size indefinitely. Not isolated by the mountains. If we can hold out long enough she'll be forced to retreat. Percival, at what point is the pass at its narrowest?"

"Here sire" Percival answered pointing at a place on the map.

"What do we call this place?" Arthur asked.

"Camlann, sire."

Merlin froze at the spot at the name of that place. Camlann, that was the name for which the prophet had warned him. The place where Arthur would die.

"Then it is Camlann, where we will make our stand." Arthur confirmed sternly not realizing the reaction of his servant who was silently standing behind him.

–-

After the gathering was over Merlin returned with Gaius to the physicians chambers. Looking rather concerned and lost in his thoughts.

Gaius looked up at the boy and realized something was wrong, but before he could ask Merlin already started to explain.

"I had hoped to never hear that name again..." He let out with a deep troubled sigh as if the weight on his shoulders had just tripled.

"You cannot go Merlin, you must persuade Arthur not to go." Gaius agreed.

"I know Arthur better than I know myself. He will not listen." Merlin let out while sitting down on the small wooden bench in the chambers slumping his shoulders.

"But if Arthur goes to Camlann, the prophecy will come true and he will die." Gaius pressed on not willing to admit defeat so easily.

Merlin shrugged lightly "This battle is the only way he knows how to save his people. If he's going to lose his life...he'll still go."

"Then what are you suggesting we do?" Gaius said raising an eyebrow.

"I made him a promise a while ago. That I would protect him or die by his side. So that is what I will do, I must protect him as best as I can." Merlin said while standing up again.

"But, you cannot protect him without magic. " Gaius let out puzzled and worried for Merlin's safety. He didn't want for Arthur to die, but just as little did he want to loose his guardson. He too had made a promise to Hunith to keep Merlin safe.

"I have to regain my magic, Gaius" Merlin answered determined.

Gaius shook his head sadly "I cannot restore it, Merlin. That is beyond my power."

Merlin calmly placed a reassuring hand on Gaius his shoulder. "I know, that's why I must seek elsewhere. The birthplace of magic, the crystal cave."

Gaius crossed his arms looking at Merlin dissaproving. "The Valley of The Fallen Kings is crawling with bandits. Without your powers you won't stand a chance."

Merlin smiled faintly "I know, that is why I won't be going alone."

–-

Later that evening Merlin had finished placing all of Arthur's armor polished and repaired on the table.

"I think that you'll find that's everything, sire." Merlin said while turning towards Arthur.

Arthur looked at the armor surprised wondering what was going on.

"Impressive. Very impressive. ...more likeable. Not from you anyway." He answered with a light mocking.

"Thank you sire" Merlin calmly replied ignoring the slight mocking remark of his king.

Arthur turned to face Merlin "So where are you after?"

"After?" Merlin asked smiling faintly.

"Come on, Merlin. You're the worst servant in the history of the world. Now suddenly this. Is it money you need?" Arthur joked slightly.

"No" Merlin just shortly replied.

"No, I didn't think so. You already won all of mine. Time off then?" Arthur kept on guessing.

"Arthur..." Merlin just quietly let out.

Arthur's expression changed to a more serious one when he saw the troubled look on Merlin's face.

"No. It can't be that either. You don't really do anything." He added but with less mocking in his tone.

"I just wanted to make sure you had all you needed for your journey to Camlann. For the days ahead." Merlin answered looking at Arthur calmly but there was something about his expression that was rather unsetteling to Arthur.

Suddenly Arthur realized Merlin's choice of words, his journey?

"Thank you" Arthur answered and studied Merlin for another minute. "Merlin, what do you mean 'my' journey?" he let's out with growing concern in his voice. All this time they had been together, Merlin was always by his side, but now in what could be his darkest hour of need. Merlin wasn't coming?

"I'm afraid I won't be coming with you. Not this time. I'm sorry. I have an urgent errand to run for Gaius. Vital supplies that I can't attain here." Merlin answered averting his eyes. He hated lieing to Arthur like this. But there was no other way, he had to do this if he wanted to be of any use to him. Without his powers he was nothing, without them he would fail his destiny.

"Vital supplies?" Arthur answered dissapointed. He could tell Merlin wasn't telling him the truth. Besides he knew Merlin well enough to know that he would never leave his side if this wasn't important. Yet he wished Merlin would tell him what it was that was so important that he had to leave his side at such a vital moment.

Merlin noticed the hesitation in Arthur's answer and wanted to continue to explain "Yes it's..."

But Arthur interrupted him before he could speak out any more lies. "No, no it's fine. I understand."

"Arthur..." Merlin softly muttered feeling the guilt heave heavy on his chest as he saw the dissapointment in Arthur's eyes.

Arthur turned around and took a few paces away before he turned back around and looked at Merlin. "You know, Merlin, all those jokes about you being a coward...I never really meant any of them...I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met. Guess I was wrong." he let out with heavy dissapointment showing on his face.

Merlin felt as if someone was pushing hard on his chest, finding it hard to even breathe. He bit his lower lip slightly while fighting back the tears that were coming up. "I'm sorry, sire." He let out quickly and bowed "Would that be all than, sire?"

He had never wanted to see that particular look in Arthur' s eyes. Dissapointment, he had let Arthur down. He had let the man who meant more to him than his very own life feel like he was not important enough.

Arthur didn't know what else to add, it wasn't anything like the reaction he had hoped to provoke.

Normally they would banter, normally Merlin always had an answer to every insult. But not this time. This time Merlin was determined not to go it seemed. And worst of all, he lied to him about it. Was their friendship really that fragile that Merlin couldn' t tell him the true reason why he was not coming with him to what could be his final battle? Arthur shook his head sadly "Yes that will be all, Merlin."

–-

The next morning at the crack of dawn the castle was already humming with people rushing everywhere. The drums of war were at the doorstep, placing everyone on edge.

Outside Merlin was saddling the horses, packing the supplies for the travel he was about to make.

Gwaine stood beside him, saddling his own horse. He yawned and stretched a bit, this sure was a unchristly hour to get up.