A/N: I do not own Harry Potter etc. etc. Also those are actual Celestina Warbeck lyrics, which are also not mine.

" – and now, at last, I understand the magic about you! I'm losing all control – "

Celestina Warbeck? Really?

"– My chest is one big hole, Inside you'll see my soul,"

Ginny paused, timing her entrance for the optimal moment.

"Happy as can be, 'cause babe, you – "

"Charmed the heart right out of me!" Ginny's voice joined Harry's caterwauling.

"Gin?! Oh thank God you're home."

It was a strange experience, Ginny thought, living together full time after they got married earlier that year. She expected the dirty socks and pants on the bedroom floor, the struggle to coordinate schedules, splitting chores, but she had not foreseen Harry's need to deal with boredom by loudly crooning wizarding pop hits – badly.

"Yes love, its me," Ginny answered loudly from the living room.

"Can you come to the kitchen?" Harry pleaded almost pitifully, "I've already worked my way through The Weird Sisters' Greatest Hits and was forced to move on to Ms. Warbeck."

Ginny strode toward the kitchen, "Well why didn't you just – Oh."

"Now Ginny, before you get mad – "

"I don't think mad is the word…more like utterly and completely mystified."

"Well it's actually a funny story."

"Oh really? Do tell why my grown adult husband of five months – "

"Actually today marks five and a half."

"Why my husband is sitting in the middle of a rainbow war zone, in what I believe used to be our kitchen, singing Celestina Warbeck?"

"There actually is an explanation, and it's mostly not my fault. Also the new paint job was much nicer when it was pastels."

"Right. Well why don't you kiss me hello first? Depending on how much this is 'mostly not your fault' it may be the last one for a while."

"There is nothing I would love more than to come over there and sweep you off your feet with the snog of your life before carrying you away from this primary colored nightmare to have my wicked way with you."

"So why have my feet not been swept then?"

"Erm, I think this will make more sense in context."

"Can we at least move out of here? The burgundy oozing is creepier than the yellow dripping from before."

"Uh, moving is not really an option at the mo."

"I'm curious now. Explain away my darling."

"You know how Teddy was coming over today? And how I haven't seen him much since things at the ministry have been so crazy? And before that with all the wedding planning?"

"Harry I'm tired, and randy thanks to your earlier remarks, so is the explanation coming soon?"

"I'm setting the stage."

Harry then proceeded to weave a tale of intrigue, deception, and betrayal. Well, not really, but still. George and Ron had begun developing a new line for children, which apparently included paints that changed colors.

"Oh! I bet Ted was so excited because it matched his hair!"

"Exactly, but I haven't gotten to the important part yet."

Part of Harry and Teddy's day together had been a visit to Fortescue's and dropping in on Ron and George after which, they planned on returning to the flat for tea and playtime. While they were looking around at various wheezes, George emerged from the back room, clad in his usual garish colors that clashed terribly with Weasley red, and held out a jar of paint.

"Bloody hell, are you telling me you accepted a product from my brothers that was not out on the shelves yet?"

"Gin if you had seen Ted's fa- I'm getting off topic."

"Sorry, but really that was the stu-"

"Anyway…"

After seeing Teddy's face light up as the paint changed colors inside the jar, Harry accepted the proffered container and shepherded his godson to the floo in the back room of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

" – and your birthday is coming up – "

"Is there a point coming any time soon? I'm very sweaty," Ginny said breathily as she tossed her Harpies t-shirt to the side and winked at Harry.

"Ginevra please, if you only – "

Ginny moved toward the icebox and pulled out a cube, which she began running across her chest, right above the zipper of her sports bra.

Harry squeaked before clearing his throat and continuing, "Anyway, Teddy had an idea to make you a birthday gift so I went to get the regular paints to use with the new one, but Ted was trying to open the jar himself – on the plus side he had his first bout of accidental magic!"

"But also resulted in the redecorating job I came home to?"

"Precisely m'dear."

"So I'm guessing these new paints don't come off with the usual household spells?"

"I went through the entire book – and you know how I feel about Lockhart."

"So the sludge on the table?"

"Botched potion."

Ginny snorted.

"It was going really well until I got distracted."

"Yes dear."

Harry harrumphed, "I grabbed Ted when the potion exploded and cleaned him off in the bath before I brought him home to Andy."

"And this explains the sitting and singing how – ooops!" Ginny had dropped the ice sliver down her front 'accidentally.'

Harry groaned.

"So I came home and decided to try and clean, but I was so disgusted I plopped in this chair."

"And?"

"Apparently the potion sludge and paint mixed together to form some kind of glue that adhered me to this chair for all eternity."

"Bad break that."

"And my wand is in the living room."

Ginny crunched on an ice cube and thought for a moment, before turning on her heel and striding into the hall.

"Gin! Wait please don't – At least hand me my wand," Harry moaned.

"I thought you were Mr. Wandless Magic?"

"I tried!"

"I think maybe you just need to want it," Ginny said with a wink.

Ginny disappeared around the corner and a moment later Harry heard a zip, before the bra was tossed into the kitchen and landed on his head, causing his glasses to slowly drift down his nose.

Harry blinked.

"Accio wand!"

"...And that, my son, is how – "

"Ahem – I don't think story time should include the night of conception dear."