Anthony was your typical average, normal, and all around boring human guy, he had zero ambitions, was devoid of any and all work ethic. He had no girlfriend, a crappy job, a crappy house, low self-esteem, and he had a very uninteresting personality. Basically he was a total loser who was unfit to be the main character of his own life, so it's a good thing he's not the main character of our tale but just hang on for a little bit because we need to talk about him some to help set the story up.
Wait, what, you're losing interest because this seems like it's going to be a human in Equestria Story? Well then let me say this, I… well I can't really blame you for that, just hold on for a second please, the story isn't even that long and I'll try to make this readable so… please don't stop reading. No wait don't go away, come back!
So anyways back to our story...
After returning home from his job shoveling animal shit at the local zoo Anthony (without even bothering to wash his own hands) went to his refrigerator to grab a can of beer. His refrigerator had been on the fritz lately so the beer was far from cold or refreshing but he was didn't care anyways. Anthony's house was just a boring as he was, there was nothing interesting about a single solitary room unless you count the fact that all of them were dirty and smelly with what looked like some kind of green fungus growing on the walls, his house was neat freak's worst nightmare, or living hell, or both. Needless to say if his parents hadn't both died in that freak unicycle accident they would not be proud of what their little boy had become.
As he walked over to his old and dirty couch to sit down, pop a pornographic video tape into his VCR (he had yet to buy a DVD play and was locked in the belief that VHS was going to make a comeback) and proceed to do what he did every night of his life ever since he was a teenager he noticed some strange glow coming from his bathroom. The glow was an unearthly blue color that looked both beautiful and frightening at the same time, his bathroom light bulb had blown a year ago and he had yet to replace it so seeing any form of light coming from there was a strange occurrence. Anthony placed his beer down on his coffee table and tiptoed his way to the bathroom. Once he was by the door way he peeked in and saw that the source of the weird and spooky glow was coming from his toilet. Anthony raised his eyebrows at the bizarre sight, sure he had forgotten to flush the toilet a lot of times but he doubted that would make it give off such a strange glow like this one, in his experience it just made the bathroom stink more than it already did.
It never once occurred to Anthony to stay away from his glowing crapper so the straight D student walked right up to his toilet, lifted the lid and gazed down at the strangely beautiful sight that was what seemed to be a glowing vortex that was inside his toilet bowl. "Wow," Anthony said and then all of a sudden the tinny vortex expanded to a massive size in the matter of half a second and a powerful force surrounded Anthony as the vortex sucked his skinny (and smelly from not taking a bath in seven months) body into it and once Anthony was completely pulled in the vortex closed with a loud popping sound like a thousand bubble wraps being popped at once.
Anthony plunged through the vortex so fast he thought his skin was going to be ripped from his body and he screamed as loud as his lungs could manage. The lights grew brighter as he picked up speed but he could see something at the other end of the vortex. Was that thing a purple unicorn? What was in that beer anyways?
It was nightfall in Ponyville and in her library Twilight had been quietly reading one of her books, she was just about half way through the final chapter when she realized what time it was and saw her little dragon assistant Spike sleeping soundly on the wooden floor. The purple unicorn mare smiled at the cute sight of her little friend as he snoozed and trotted over to him as quietly as she could. She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and she had just started to levitate him with her magic to carry him upstairs to the bedroom when all of a sudden she heard a loud noise erupt directly above her head.
As Twilight shot her head up she saw a large vortex open up on her ceiling and some strange screaming creature come falling out of it. Twilight barely had time to gasp and push Spike out of the way when the strange creature landed directly on top of her and its screaming ceased.
Spike shot out of his once peaceful slumber shouted, "What's going on, holy crap!" the little dragon covered his mouth with his claws at the rather morbid and horrifying sight that lay before him. Apparently when the strange and seemingly bipedal creature landed on Twilight it had impaled one of its eye's on Twilight's horn. The purple unicorn wore an expression of pure horror as she laid under the creature's limp body with her own horn jammed straight into its eye, it wasn't moving but Twilight still wasn't sure if it was dead or not. Twilight wanted to scream bloody murder but she couldn't, all she managed to force out was some kind of tinny squeaky sound that sounded a little like how a baby mouse would yell.
Spike on the other hand had no such problems as he shouted, "What is this!? What's going on!? What is that thing!? I can't believe it; your horn is stuck right in its eye! That's so sick, what is that thing anyways!?"
Rainbow Dash who had been doing some late night stunt practicing flew by Twilight's home when she heard the shouting. It was unusual to hear that kind of stuff come from the library especially so late at night; Twilight and Spike were usually pretty quiet. At first Dash decided to just mind her own business and fly off but the more she heard Spike's terrified yells the more concerned she got for her friends so she decided to fly down through an open window and if she walked flew in on something the two of them didn't want her to see she'd just say she was sorry and excuse herself.
As Dash entered the window she said, "Hey, I was flying by when I heard the yelling is everything okay in here?" but upon seeing the sight of whatever that thing was that had its eye impaled on Twilight's horn the normally cool and calm cyan pegasus shouted, "What the buck!"
"Rainbow Dash!" Spike shouted while Twilight just sat there frozen and kept making her terrified squeaky sound.
"What the buck is going on!?" Dash shouted after taking the time to quickly shut the open window, "What is that thing on Twilight's horn!?"
"I don't know!" Spike shouted back.
Finally Twilight found her voice again, "Will somepony just please get this thing off me?!" Twilight of course could have gotten the creature off of her horn on her own but she was just too hysterical to think straight or even move.
Dash flew over to her unicorn friend, "Okay, just hold still," she said as she put her front hooves around the creature named Anthony's head and quickly pulled him up off of Twilight's horn.
Once her horn was free from that thing's eye socket Twilight pushed it off of her and ran to the other side of the room where she started to shake her entire body like she was trying to shake the feeling of that thing laying limp on top of her, "I can't believe that happened!" she said as she started to calm down.
Spike walked over to her and asked, "Are you okay Twilight?"
"Mentally or physically?" was Twilight's response.
As Rainbow Dash looked down at the limp body of the creature that had impaled itself on Twilight's horn she shuttered at just how ugly it was then she flew over next to Twilight and Spike and asked, "Just what happened in here?"
Threw her own growing hysteria Twilight tried her best to explain the events that had occurred to her flying friend with big exaggerated hoof gestures, "I don't know what happened. I was just about to put Spike to bed when out of nowhere this big vortex thing opened up on my ceiling and that… thing fell on top of me and I don't know how my horn got stuck in its eye, I didn't do it on purpose!"
"Okay," Dash said with a nod, "I seriously doubt the police ponies are going to believe that."
"Wait, the police?" Spike spoke up then he wrapped his arms around his beloved Twilight, "No! I don't want Twilight to go to jail!"
"You're right Rainbow Dash," Twilight said as she placed a hoof on her own cheek, "strange things happen around here all the time but no one is going to believe that story. I don't want to be arrested, I didn't do anything!" Twilight started to cry hysterically as she went on and on about what they do to you in prison which was stuff that Spike was too young to know about, or was he, the little guy was pretty smart.
Rainbow Dash didn't want to do it but she saw no other way of calming the unicorn mare down so she slapped Twilight across the face to help her regain her composure and after falling silent for a few seconds Twilight said, "Thank you Rainbow Dash, I don't know what came over me." after taking a few step off to the side Twilight suddenly fell down on her back and shouted at the ceiling, "Oh Celestia, why me!? This isn't fair, I've done nothing wrong! I've lived a good life, why does this have to happen to me!?" Rainbow Dash groaned before setting Twilight back up on all four hooves and delivering another slap to the face, "Thanks again Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, "now I'm sure I'm okay."
Dash patted Twilight's back as she said, "Sorry for doing that."
"No its okay, I needed it," Twilight replied.
"So what are we going to do?" Spike asked them both, "If Twilight goes to jail I don't know what I'll do," the little guy looked like he was on the verge of tears so Twilight held him close to her to provide him with some comfort.
"No one's going to jail," Dash said, "I just need some time to think." Rainbow Dash rubbed the sides of her head with each hoof as she paced back and forth in the air and mumbled to herself about what to do. When Dash finally came up with a plan she landed next to Twilight and Spike and took a deep breath before saying, "Okay, here's what happened," then she looked Twilight right in the eyes and said with total seriousness, "he tried to rape you."
"What?" Twilight said with an almost shocked expression.
Ignoring what Twilight had said Rainbow Dash went on, "We don't know what that thing is or where it came from but it broke in here at night and it tried to rape you, which would explain why it was on top of you. You were trying to get away and you didn't mean to kill it but you accidently stabbed it in the eye with your horn."
"I don't know about that Dash," Twilight said.
"I agree with Dash, that's what we should tell them!" Spike spoke up.
"Spike!" Twilight looked down at her young companion with her mouth hanging open.
"It's more believable than the vortex thing!" Spike replied.
Before they could discuss the matter further Anthony sat up saying, "Oh, dammit, what happened to me?" he then lifted his hand to touch the hole where his missing eye once was and screamed out in terror, "What happened to my f%$#ing eye!?" but he was silenced once again when Rainbow Dash delivered a panicked but powerful jab to his forehead knocking him unconscious.
"What did you do that for!?" Twilight shouted at her flying friend.
"He was freaking out and I was scared so I hit him!" Rainbow Dash replied with a shrug.
"He's still alive!" Spike said as a small amount of joy washed over him, "That mean's Twilight doesn't have to go to jail!"
Twilight was starting to feel a little relieved as well, "I guess my horn didn't reach his brain."
Dash poked at Anthony with one of her hooves, "Think he'll be mad about this?"
"I feel so sorry for that poor creature." Twilight said genuinely feeling sorry for Anthony.
Suddenly Anthony woke back up, "You little freak bitch, you tried to murder me, I'm gonna kill you!"
Rainbow Dash quickly jab the now angry human in the head again knocking him back out, "That answers my question," she said with a shrug. "So what are we gonna do now?"
Twilight took some time to think before saying, "I guess he's okay enough to take care of himself but he might be dangerous."
"He did just threaten to kill us," Spike said.
"Right," Twilight agreed, "I think the best thing to do is try to reopen the vortex and send him back home. I think I recognize that vortex from a book I read once." Twilight levitated a book down from a nearby shelf with her magic and flipped through a few pages before finding the one she was looking for, "Here we go, I was right but we only have a few hours to reopen the portal back to his home and we're going to need two more unicorns."
"I guess Rarity can keep a secret," Dash said, "but what about the other unicorn?"
Twilight let out a sigh, "Well, she does have a sister."
"Would Sweetiebele even be able to do that?" Spike asked.
"We only need three unicorns because the spell requires a triangle formation and whatever magic talent Sweetiebele is lacking in I can more than make up for it. The only real problem here is that this spell is forbidden, I only have the book because I'm Celstia's student, if we do this no one can know about it."
"Okay then," Rainbow Dash said, "I guess I'll fly out and get Rarity and her little sister."
As Rainbow Dash flew out the door Spike headed up the stairs to the bed room.
"Where you going Spike?" Twilight asked him.
"To get my bat in case he wakes up again and tries to kill us."
Time passes by…
"Dang, that thing is ugly," Sweetiebele said as she looked down at Anthony's unconscious.
"Sweetiebele," Rarity said to her little sister as she gently moved her away from the one eyed human, "don't go near that thing you might catch a disease from it. I've never smelled something so awful."
Sweetiebele hopped away from her sister's hooves and ran back over to Anthony, "Check it out; I can fit my whole hoof in his eye socket!"
"Sweetiebele!" Rarity gasped.
Sweetiebele then took Anthony by his head and while moving his mouth up and down to simulate him talking she said in a rather ghostly sounding voice, "Twiiiiilight, Twiiiiilight, why did you impale my eye Twilight?"
Rarity picked Sweetiebele up and carried her away from the unconscious human while say, "Seriously Sweetiebele don't be so morbid."
"But he's not even dead, he's just sleeping," Sweetiebele spoke back.
Rarity sat her little sister down and turned to her friend Twilight and said, "Can we just hurry up with this forbidden spell and get rid of this thing before my sister decides to make a marionette out of it."
"I can do that?" Sweetiebele said in a way too enthusiastic tone.
"She can do that?" Rainbow Dash and Spike said at the same time.
"I agree with Rarity," Twilight said, "we need to get this done as quickly as possible."
Twilight had drawn three white Xs on the floor that marked where her and the two other unicorn ponies needed to stand and she began to explain how the spell worked and what they need to do. As the unicorns prepared Rainbow Dash kept a lookout at the window to make sure no one was around who might see them using forbidden magic in the library and Spike stood next to Anthony with the bat at the ready. Spike had already had to knock Anthony back out when the one eyed human woke up screaming he was going to rip Twilight's head off and do something called skull f$# ing it. Spike didn't even know what that word mint, he asked Twilight what that word's definition was but she had no idea much to his surprise, in fact Twilight didn't think that word existed in the Equestrian vocabulary.
Just as the three unicorns were about to start the spell an unfamiliar face poked her head through the window shattering the glass and surprising the living daylights out of Rainbow Dash. As Rainbow Dash jumped back with a yelp a strange looking earth pony flew into the library through the broken window.
"Screwball!" Twilight shouted at the bizarre flying earth pony.
"Hello Twilight," Screwball said in a rather eerie sounding voice, "it's been awhile."
Sweetiebele looked up at the odd earth pony as she hovered in the air similar to how Rainbow Dash was except Screwball was flying with the help of the little cap on her head that had a small propeller attached to it. Sweetiebele had never seen a pony quite like Screwball before, Screwball was a light purple pony whose mane and tail was a darker shade of purple but with white highlights, her eyes were also purple but they looked like they were spiraling. The other thing Sweetiebele noticed about this strange pony was her voice, Screwball didn't have the kind of voice Sweetiebele would have thought she'd have, Screwball's voice wasn't as goofy as her appearance, in fact Screwball's voice was eerie yet beautiful at the same time and it seemed to have an almost supernatural quality to it, Sweetiebele actually found Screwball's voice to be quite pleasant to listen to.
"Do you know this pony Twilight?" Rarity asked.
Twilight huffed and said, "I sure do, that little nut job locked me in an insane asylum once! You would not believe what that one barking pony did to my leg!"
Screwball laughed at Twilight's anger towards her, "Don't tell me you're still mad about that Twilight, I figured you would have had a lot of fun sharing a private room with Barking Mad, or is her name Screw Loose I can't remember?" it was then Screwball turned her attention to the unconscious Anthony, "What is that thing, it looks ugly," the whole time Screwball spoke her sly smile never left her face.
"Just leave Screwball," Twilight said.
Screwball just shrugged, "You're a real bummer tonight Twilight, okay I'll go but first…" with a wave of her hoof Screwball made the one eyed human in the room disappear with a cloud of smoke.
Twilight let out a high pitched yell, "What did you do, where did he go?!"
Screwball laughed again, "I'm not sure to be honest, but I'm positive he's still somewhere in Ponyville, good luck finding him."
"This isn't funny Screwball!" Twilight shouted.
"It's a lot funnier than having your daddy turned to stone," Screwball said as a much sinister look appeared on her face before her usual smile returned and with happy little wave she said, "see you around Twilight." and in a puff of purple smoke Screwball teleported herself away from the library.
"What did that last part mean?" Sweetiebele asked.
"I don't know," Twilight said, "it's not important anyways we need to find that thing before somepony else does."
"I'll fly around and see if I can find him from the sky," Rainbow Dash said as she flew out the window.
Rarity turned to her sister, "Sweetiebele, you stay here with Spike until we get back," and then ran out the front door with Twilight at her side.
Now Spike and Sweetiebele were all alone in the library. The two youngsters stood there quietly with Spike still clutching the baseball bat in his claws until Sweetiebele decided to strike up a conversation, "So, I hear you have a hard on for my big sister?"
"What does that mean.?"
Sweetiebele shrugged and said, "I don't know for sure but I've heard Scootaloo say it a few times."
"Twilight has a few dictionaries around here how about we look it up?"
"Okay," Sweetiebele replied as they went to go find a dictionary.
Anthony awoke lying in the dirt and he started to stand up. He stumbled a few times but finally managed to right himself and he started to walk forward. With only one eye left and having suffered multiple blows to the head Anthony was not in the right state of mind and he wasn't entirely sure about where he was or what he was doing. He tried to call for help but all that came out were groans and moans, if someone were to see him at this time of night they could have easily mistaken him for a zombie. Anthony shambled about until he saw two figures standing by a trashcan and made his way over to them hoping they could help.
The two figures Anthony spotted was Berry Punch and her daughter Pinchy. Berry was throwing up in the trashcan as her daughter waited patiently by her side, "Better out than in," Berry said as she vomited once more.
"I told you to cut back some mom, this is so embracing. I'm glad no one's around to see this," Pinchy said before turning her head just in time to see Anthony stumble out of the darkness and let out a loud zombie like moan, "AH! It's a monster!" Pinchy shouted.
"What!?" Berry said as she swung her head around to see this so-called monster and immediately vomit all over his face.
As the torrent of vomit knocked Anthony off his feet Pinchy took her mother by the hoof and started running, "Come on mom, we got to get out of here!"
Anthony whined and cried as he laid on the ground now covered in colorful pony vomit and at that moment the lights in the nearby house came on and a light green unicorn stepped onto her front porch. "What's up with all the noise?" Lyra said as she trotted over to the source of the commotion and when she saw the creature that was laying in the dirt before her she gasped, "I-I can't believe it!" a single tear of pure unbridled joy went down her cheek, "This is so awesome."
Spike and Sweetiebele were sitting up in the bedroom playing a video game. Much to Sweetiebele's surprise Spike had the newest Mortal Hoofbat video game, a game that her sister would never let her play until she was older. Apparently Twilight figured that Spike was mature enough to handle the video game's violent content. Despite this being the first time Sweetiebele had ever played the game she was a natural and was giving Spike a good couple of rounds. In this round after depleting Spike's character's health bar Sweetiebele pressed the necessary buttons to perform a fatality. The onscreen character kicked the other one on his back and threw his hat onto the ground as it started spinning vertically in place only a few inches away from the downed character's groin. "No more penis for you," Sweetiebele said as her onscreen character grabbed the downed one by the ankles and dragged him through the spinning blade hat as he flailed his arms around in terror. The hat sliced the video game character perfectly in half from his groin to his head as Sweetiebele did an amusing little evil laugh. Spike wasn't too bummed out about losing, he didn't have many other fiends to play video games with and Sweetiebele was pretty cool.
Sweetiebele turned to Spike and said, "That's five wins for you and four wins for me Spike, I'm catching up to you."
"Your pretty good at this game Sweetiebele, are you sure you never played it before?"
"My sister doesn't want me playing games like this, she doesn't think I'm mature enough to handle it, apparently Twilight doesn't think the same thing about you."
"Yeah, I guess so," Spike said as he rubbed the back of his head.
They were about to select their characters for another round when Sweetiebele took a breath before asking him, "So why do you like my sister so much?"
Spike looked over at Sweetiebele, "I'm not sure but when I first saw her I just… I don't know why but she just has this effect on me. Does she ever talk about me?"
"A little but not much, she does think you're cute but not in a boyfriend way just a friend way."
Spike made one of the biggest frowns he had ever made. The poor little guy had been friend zoned, then with a deep sigh he said, "I guess I am a little too young for her anyways."
With a smile Sweetiebele said, "You're not young enough for me though," Spike's ears practically perked up and he look over at Sweetiebele who was blushing at him with a cute little smile on her face.
"Lyra, what in the name of Celestia is that thing!?" Bon Bon shouting as she stood up on the kitchen counter and pointed at Anthony who was now on all fours with Lyra holding a leash that was strapped around his neck like he was her pet dog.
"It's a human," Lyra said with the biggest grin on her face, "you know, the things that I've been studying since I was a little kid. Those things?"
"Why is he on all fours, I thought you always said they were bipedal?" Bon Bon said not wanting to go near the mangy creature her partner had dragged in from off the streets.
"I don't know why he's doing that, maybe he's just sleepy, poor little guy," Lyra patted him on the head with her front hoof.
"He really smells," Bon Bon covered her nose to shield her senses from the smell.
"Just light a few scented candles and you won't even notice it," Lyra said with a wave of her hoof.
"We don't have any scented candles; we used them all up that one night when we tried that thing."
Lyra smiled with a happy little sigh as she remembered that romantic night, "We almost burned down the whole house."
"I think its missing an eye," Bon Bon said as she stepped down from the counter.
"That's why we need to take him to the vet," Lyra replied.
Bon Bon raised an eyebrow, "The vet?"
"Well, he is our pet now."
Anthony just moaned.
"So how long has this Screwball character been bothering you?" Rarity asked Twilight as they continued their search for the strange creature that had impaled itself on Twilight's horn.
"A few weeks I think, I honestly don't know what her problem with me is. I think she just likes messing with me," Twilight replied.
"You must have done something to get on her bad side. I doubt a reality bending pony would spend her free time tormenting just anypony."
Just then Rainbow Dash flew up to the two unicorns, "I found that thing! I think I saw those two mares who, um, are special friends take him into the vet's office."
"We have to hurry!" Twilight said as she and Rarity began to gallop as Rainbow Dash flew over them before coming to a quick stop, "Wait, did you say the vet?"
"What in the name of Celestia is this thing?" the vet asked the two mares who brought in the strange creature.
Lyra sighed, "It's a human, how many times am I gonna to have to tell you all that? Am I the only expert on humans in this entire town?"
"Yes," Bon Bon said to her partner while trying not to shout.
Anthony was still on all fours but now he was up on a table in the vet's office as Lyra kept ahold of his leash. At this point Anthony had stopped caring about what these weird creatures were going to do to him and he was still extremely dazed and confused. It was then Rainbow Dash flew in through the door, "What's up!" she said as she tried to think of a way to distract them from the human, she wished she had thought her plan through more.
"Check it out Bonnie," Lyra said with a smile, "it's that one pony with the pride parade hair, told you she had a crush on me." Lyra nudged Bon Bon with her elbow as she said that.
Rainbow Dash groaned as she face hoofed, "Why does everypony just immediately assume that about me? For the hundredth time just because my mane is this color and I'm a bit of a tomboy it doesn't automatically mean I like to eat other mare's tacos!" As Rainbow Dash continued her airborne rant about how she wasn't into other mares she actually succeed in distracting the couple and the vet which gave Twilight the opportunity to sneak in through the window, tiptoe (or would it be tiphoof) her way over to where Anthony sat on the table and quickly teleport him away. "Believe it or not but I would actually like to go out on a date maybe," Rainbow Dash continued, "but it's hard to do that when almost every stallion thinks I'm not into males!" Rainbow Dash looked over by the window and saw Rarity give her a wave that was the signal to let her know it was time to go and with a wave the cyan pegasus said, "Well, bye," and she flew out the window.
As Rainbow Dash and Rarity ran alongside each other Rarity said to her cyan friend, "If it's any constellation Rainbow Dash I didn't assume you were a lesbian when we first met."
"Thanks Rarity," Rainbow Dash replied.
In the library's kitchen Sweetiebele was on top of Spike as she peppered his face with little kisses (don't worry they weren't doing anything else, they're kids for crying out loud) when she heard the front door open. She quickly got off the young dragon, "Crap, they're back!"
Spike sat up with big grin on his face and a distant look in his eyes, "That's too bad," he said while still remaining in his state of bliss.
"We're back," Twilight said as she levitated Anthony in through the front door.
Sweetiebele quickly straightened out her mane as she and Spike stepped into the main room, "Hello everyone," the little white filly said as innocently as she could.
When Twilight noticed the odd and rather happy look on Spike's face she asked, "Spike, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Spike replied in a mellowed out way, "everything's fine."
"Okay then," Twilight levitated Anthony into position, "we need to start this spell before anything else happens."
Just as Twilight said that the Alicorn of the night teleported herself into the center of the library, "Twilight Sparkle," Luna said to her good friend, "I'm surprised to discover you wrapped up in all this trouble."
"Oh no, Princess Luna," Twilight said with some amount of fear and worry in her voice, "you have to understand this isn't what it looks like!"
Luna looked down at Twilight and said, "You should have called."
"What?" every pony and the one dragon said at the same time.
"I and my sister could have easily solved this whole thing for you in an instant," Luna said, "I know it's good that you want to take care of your own problems but we would have gladly aided you. You poor things all look like you've had such an ordeal tonight," Luna said as she patted Twilight on the head, "we must make haste to fix this while my sister takes care of the other humans that have fallen into our world."
"Wait," Twilight said as she tilted her head, "did you just say other humans?"
Meanwhile somewhere else in Ponyville…
A guy who goes by the name of Bill the Brony was carrying Lyra on his shoulder as they both sang, "Winter wrap up! Winter wrap up!" at the top of their lungs while Bon Bon just watched from the side lines. It wasn't even winter.
"This is the best day of my life!" Lyra said.
"Mine to!" Bill the Brony said agreed.
Both Lyra and Bill had reached a level of pure joy and happiness that so few of us may never find.
Luna had just finished casting a healing spell on Anthony, "There, he'll still have only one eye but this will fix him up a little bit and it will prevent any infections," then Luna opened the portal back to Anthony's home world on the ceiling of Twilight's library.
"I thought you needed three ponies to do that?" Rarity asked.
"I'm an Alicorn," Luna replied as she levitated Anthony, "thing like these are easier for me. Like I said earlier, you should have called," Luna moved Anthony over to the portal and in seconds the human was transported back to his home, his old smelly, dirty, worn out, pig's pin of a home.
"Thank you Princess Luna," Twilight said.
"You are welcome Twilight Sparkle," Luna replied with a smile, "I bet my sister can't wait to hear the friendship report on this."
With that Spike took a quill and a piece of paper as Twilight began to speak, "Dear Princess Celestia, tonight I learned that if I ever find myself in a jam no matter how bad it is I know I can rely on my friends to help me out when I really need it," Twilight looked around the library at all her friends as they all smiled back to her and she finished the letter by saying, "your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
The next morning Anthony woke up in his bathroom lying next to his toilet, he stood up and stumbled into his living room where he dialed nine-one-one and when he heard someone ask what the state of his emergency was he replied, "I seem to be missing one of my eyes," after giving them his name and address he sat by the door and waited for the ambulance to show up, "… what happened to me last night?"
Meanwhile back in Ponyville at Lyra and Bon Bon's house both Lyra and Bon Bon where sitting at a table with Bill the Brony and happily eating breakfast together.
"Life is good," Lyra said.