One, long slice. I felt the burning, the stinging. The feeling of the pain that was built up inside of me. I feel my wings spread, I quickly put them back. I press my pointer finger hard on the slice that started bleeding on my wrist. I smell the blood and lick a drop of it before it drips to the crème colored carpet. I feel it trickle down my throat. I lick my pointer finger free from my pained blood. I make another clean, precise cut, close my eyes, and breathe the clean air, the smell of sweet, rusty blood overwhelming it. Taking up the happy space, that was then filled with the smell of a troubled soul's blood. My wings try to break free, but I smash them back in.
I lick my wounds, cleaning out the blood. I then put the blade safely away, get up, grab a purple bandana, and wrap it around my two cuts. I get up and put on my black ray-bands. I study myself in the mirror. Then I close my eyes, when I open them, I am deep in the forest. The only place where I know I can be safe. Safe from the tears, the names, the kicking, the screaming, the fighting.
The weeping willow trees surrounded the small wide area of perfectly dark green grass. With shrubs, purple flowers, and rose bushes. I look up and see the dark clouds hovering over the empty space above. The air had a small current of icy air, that flowed through my hair. It sent goose-bumps down my arms. I rub my right arm with my left hand. I was happy when I then saw my only love, the one who can always make me happy. The one who takes me off the blade, pulls me away from the blood- Alice.
"Jasper." She whispers, he wings spread out behind her.
"Alice." I whisper back, taking her hand in mine. Her deep golden eyes, staring into my safe soul, the un-troubled soul. Her eyes supported by heavy, black, full-length lashes. Her petite, tiny figure looked up at me.
"How have you been?" She asks, laying her head on my chest, as we fall back to the soft, grassy ground.
"You know I could be better." I say, rubbing the small of her tiny back. She then grabs my wrist, the one with the bandana. She smells it, then a low rumble comes through her throat.
"Jasper." She says firmly, through her teeth.
"I'm sorry. I can't stop." I whisper. She knows how to take me away from the blade for a few days, but soon enough I am back to it.
"You know you can." Alice says, her wings spreading over us.
"Sometimes, I can't." I say, tightening my grip.
"Lets not talk about this." She says, closing her eyes.
"Where are Edward, Bella, Rosalie, and Emmett?" I ask.
"I don't know, somewhere." She shrugs, closing her eyes, and taking a smell of the crisp air. I close my eyes, wishing I could be a better person, a person away from the real life drama. The sightings I have to see each day, the things I have to go through each day. My heart ripped by a black hole. My pained soul, seeking a way out, slipping away from life each day. Turning worse and worse, with no hope in turning better. Screaming for help, aching to be fixed. Alice being my band-aid, a band-aid because band-aids only help half the problem. They cover the wound up just for a little, not letting any bacteria getting it, when there are cracks that the bacteria can still slip through. Still, band-aids help just the slightest.
"I can help you Jasper." Alice says, as I open my eyes to see her staring into my eyes.
"No one can." I say, looking away from he strong, intense gaze that she started to hold on me.
"You can leave the pain, you can come with me, to the place where we can be happy. With no interruptions, away from the pain and sorrow ness." She explains.
"Yes, but you can still come back here, to reality Alice, and I don't want any part of reality." I say.
"All of our friends have left. Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, even Bella."
"Yes, but they still come back here, they have no choice. We would have no choice but to come back every once and a while." I argue.
"They choose to come back, because if they didn't, they would leave us behind. They come back because they have left back two things that they are close to, that they love." Alice says, her small pointy voice, soothing my pain, only enough for her voice to end.
"I would be leaving behind things too Alice." I say, in a low, small voice.
"And that would be?" She asks.
"My little sister, Samantha." I say quietly.
"Jasper, she isn't your blood sister."
"She still means the world to me." I say. Alice means the galaxy to me, and Alice understands what I meant by the world.
"Jasper, the world outside of reality will be so, better. We will fade away from the pain, the tears, everything."
"I can't leave Samantha."
"Please Jasper, I can't stand to keep seeing you in pain. And you know I can't live without you."
"Then don't Alice, come back, visit me."
"No, once I'm gone, I don't want to come back to this damn relm."
"Alice-" I breathe.
"I understand how much Samantha means to you, I truly do, it just pains me to see you like this." She says, lifting up my cut wrist. I pull it away. I then stand up, leaving her on the ground.
"I will see you later." Then I am in my car. I felt bad leaving Alice alone, I just didn't want to hear the conversation. I didn't want to leave Samantha. She was my only happy thing, besides Alice. It's hard to choose between a sister and a love. I thought to myself. I rest my head on the steering wheel. Then there was a knock on my window. I look up, it was Edward. I roll down the self-turn window.
"Yes?" I ask, staring hard into his almond shaped emerald green eyes. His bronze hair was styled in his usual messy bufont.
"Samantha is in the hospital." He whispers. I then exactly knew why Samantha would be in hospital. Her cancer. It was getting worse. She was only nine years old. She was seven when she was diagnosed. A lump in my throat tightened, and I could feel my eyebrows crease in. A prickly feeling started picking at the back of my eyes. My stomach tightened and turned.
"Everyone is there with her." Edward said, staring at my shrunken face.
"Get in." I barely whisper. A second later, Edward was next to me in the car, already buckled in. I slowly pulled my sealt-bealt around me, and clipped it in. I put the keys in the ignition, and started the car. Seconds later, we were moving off the driveway, and headed to the hospital.