Author's Note:
I'm really bad at writing angst (I cry too much and the keyboard gets slippery) so please bear with me: I just had to write this one shot. You know the chapter where Gray dies for Juvia and Ultear turns back time so Gray's life is saved? Well, I've always wondered what if it was Juvia who died and Ultear didn't have the power to turn time back, so she (forgive my bluntness -.-) stays dead? So this is what it's about! Warning: some mentions may not fit in with canon plot
'Juvia, I need to tell you something.'
Juvia looked over at Gray, and immediately went into fantasy land. 'What if this is a love confession? What should I do? What should we name our first child?' she thought, her mind going at a million miles per second.
'Umm…it's not that important.'
'It might be important to Juvia!' A love confession would be very important.
'This is a war zone,' Lyon reminded.
A few seconds later, before anybody else could see it coming, Juvia yelled,
'GRAY!'
She pushed him aside and everybody watched in horror as…
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The bullets pierced her small, fragile body.
Juvia heard snatches of sounds; Gray shouting her name, Meredy crying, Lyon repeating over and over again that this couldn't be happening, Ultear screaming…
Then she felt herself floating.
Floating. Floating. Then gone. Juvia felt weightless and sluggish, free and burdened, bliss and pain. So was this what death felt like? Because that's what she was. Dead. Dead and gone. Hopelessly, irretrievably gone.
She saw her funeral.
Unable to do anything, to speak, to hear, she just saw.
She saw Makarov conducting her burial, with tears streaming down the old man's face. Juvia badly wanted to hug him tight and thank him for giving her a second chance.
She saw Wendy standing silent and trying to be brave, holding Carla's hand.
Juvia badly wanted to fling her arms around the young girl and tell her to stay strong.
She saw Lucy crying furiously, wiping her hands on the expensive black dress.
Juvia badly wanted to go shopping again with Lucy or have one last sleepover.
She saw Gajeel with his arms around Levy, trying not to cry for both of them.
Juvia badly wanted to thank Gajeel for always being there for her, and spend one last day reading with Levy.
She saw Erza standing alone, looking down at her sword and thinking about how many other loved ones she had lost.
Juvia badly wanted to shake Erza and force her into being strong, scary and cool again.
She saw Mira, Elfman and Lisanna standing close together, grieving.
Juvia badly wanted to chat with Mira again, hear Elfman go on about manliness once more, give Lisanna a final hug…
She saw Natsu trembling and screaming obscenities at the sky.
Juvia badly wanted to go on one more mission (preferably involving trains) with Natsu before saying goodbye.
She saw Happy, for once, silent, standing with Lily, looking crestfallen.
Juvia badly wanted to give both Exceeds one last fish and a cuddle.
She saw Cana hugging a barrel of beer, obviously to ease the pain.
Juvia badly wanted to thank Cana for those words she said, 'Juvia, you are a brilliant mage of Fairy Tail!' so long ago, because it was those words that gave her hope.
And finally she turned her eyes to Gray.
She saw him say a few words she couldn't quite catch, and then walk away.
Juvia felt her spirit being pulled away, being pulled apart…and she was no more but darkness.
I love you.
Those were the words Gray said before he walked away.
And ten years on, his feelings haven't changed.
All his friends have moved on and started families, but he couldn't.
He couldn't love anyone after Juvia.
His biggest regret would always be not being able to tell her before she died, because he'd feared that everybody he loved would be taken away from him.
And now she was.
She died for him.
And what's worse, she died thinking he didn't love her.
Every anniversary of Juvia's death, Gray would get more drunk than Cana Alberona, smash things, and visit her grave to say those three words.
And this year was no different.
As he stood before the grave, he remembered how Juvia's last words had been his name.
He remembered the many times she'd randomly declare her love for him, and he'd reject her, and she'd try again.
He felt his heart break and even though he knew she was gone, he also knew he had to make it up to her.
He knelt down beside the grave and said,
'I love you.'