It all started with a certain conversation: me and Takineko form tumblr were talking about the fact that Overkill and Ms. Lint still kinda, sorta, like each other, even though it's largely due to Ms. Lint seduction that Overkill lost his team. I started to think about how this event shaped Overkill and how now he has trust issues.
So here you have some of my analysis of Overkill and his interactions with Lint, Dot and Dangerboat.
Please, review!
The 's' word
He had hands once again. Not just mechanical limbs, but actual hands that could feel cold steel of his pistol's handle and warmth of someone's skin. He was staring at them in amazement, clenching and unclenching his fists just to feel the fingernails on his skin; just to rejoice at the fact that he could do that.
He moved his eyes from them and realized that he was standing in front of a mirror. However, the person in that mirror wasn't Overkill, but rather young, innocent man in white, red and blue outfit. And the eyes in the mirror were his brown eyes, the eyes he was born with, not the ones AEGIS gave him. It was like nothing that happened to him when Flag Five died took place; and he was still as innocent as when Uncle Samson was still alive.
He wanted it to be true… He wanted to believe that Terror attacking them was just a really long, horrible nightmare. That Flag Five was still alive; that Straight Shooter was still alive, and as innocent and full of heroism as in his youth; that everything was alright. And for five beautiful seconds he actually believed that it was a reality…
But then he heard the sound of alarm clock and his consciousness brought him back to his current body. Once he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by metal walls and Dangerboat's operation systems. A moment later he put his hand in front of his face and was reminded once again that yes, he had robot hands now. And since he had those hands, it meant that everything that happened when they were crashed, actually happened.
"Good morning, sunshine!" Dangerboat said in a sing-a-song voice. "I must say that your sleep schedule is improving. You've slept almost eight hours!"
Overkill gave a soft sigh and left the bed. Next he took some clothes of the floor and directed towards the shower. He could almost sense Dangerboat's eye on his back.
"Well, that's just disgusting." The AI said. "Just because you are a crazy vigilante hellbent on his personal vendetta, doesn't mean you don't need to wash your clothes."
"You're not my mother." Overkill replied entering the shower.
"So what? I live here too and I have a right to demand some standards."
"Yeah, yeah." Estevan threw off-hand, standing under the shower head.
As he was regulating the heat of water, he heard his partner say another thing:
"You know, sometimes I don't even know why I put up with you. You're like a rebellious teenager."
Estevan let the stream of hot water fall on his head. He often asked himself the same question: Why did Dangerboat put up with him? His AI was on a really high level, so high he was self-aware and had a personality of a mother hen. This made Estevan wonder: How much of Dangerboat's obedience towards Overkill was due to his software, and how much it was of his own volition? And if this was the AI's own choice then why?
"Maybe it's my charming personality?" Overkill suggested jokingly.
"You're not my type." Dangerboat quickly replied. "You're too… moody for my taste."
"Glad we've established that."
Estevan took the soap and for a moment stared at his mechanical, waterproof hand, holding it. It took him years to learn how to balance the grip on things. Since he had no nerves anymore, he couldn't feel if he was squishing the fruit too tight or if he wasn't holding it hard enough. Right now he knew how to control his prosthetic hands.
Let go of me…
Him standing near Dot…. Him holding Dot's wrist as she looks at him with this fire in her eyes. Him letting go and watching her leave…
He was taken aback.
Overkill pushed the thought away and proceeded with washing himself. Why he always had to have the weirdest thoughts in the shower?
Soon he was clean, fresh and ready for breakfast. He set the coffee express for a strong black coffee and opened a can of Fo-Ham. Once his morning drink was ready, he sat at the table, rested his legs on it and started to eat.
"I couldn't help but notice that there was a short moment when you were smiling through your sleep." Dangerboat started all of a sudden, his eye on Overkill. "Did you have a pleasant dream?"
Estevan sighed. He hated when his boat wanted to chat.
"That's none of your business." He replied, trying to act like he was only interested in his ham.
"I'm not asking for specifics. I only want to know if you've had a pleasant dream."
"Again, none of your business, Dangerboat." He looked at the boat's eye. "Look, can't we just watch TV or something?"
Dangerboat gave a fake exasperate sigh.
"Fine, fine."
The TV has been turned on.
"The City's local superheroes, The Tick and Arthur, started their morning with stopping the robbery of The First City's Bank…" The newscaster said.
Overkill rolled his eyes in annoyance. Great, these two again.
"Oh, look! It's Tick and Arthur!" Of course, Dangerboat seemed to be more enthusiastic to see them on TV.
The news showed the footage of Tick first disarming the robbers and then punching them in the face. Only when robbers were rendered harmless, Arthur started to free the hostages and checking if everyone was okay.
"You know," Dangerboat suddenly spoke. "maybe we could do this too?"
"Do what?" Overkill asked.
"Stopping bad guys, helping people… be superheroes." The AI explained. "I would like that for a change."
Overkill looked at the last scenes of Tick and Arthur saving the day. He never told this Dangerboat but whenever he was seeing them doing something heroic, he was remembering times when he fought crime as Straight Shooter. It seemed to be ages ago – him doing superhero work in bright colors, alongside with Uncle Samson and rest of the Five. Back then he also wasn't killing the villains. Back then he wasn't operating in gray areas. Back then he was doing things not because he wanted vengeance, but because he wanted to help people.
"Just think about it," Dangerboat went on. "you would be the superhero and I would be your sidekick. Oh, we could also bring Dot too! I'm sure she's looking forward for another mission."
Overkill was sitting in silence. Here was this word again. And he never understood how the true meaning of this word seemed to elude his AI.
Then again, it wasn't like Estevan didn't understand what Dangerboat was saying. After all, he himself was sometimes longing for the simpler times. And Dangerboat probably would like to be used for good purposes too. Maybe even spend some time with people other than his antihero resident…
"I'm sorry." Overkill said and he truly was. "Superheroism just isn't my forte. But," He looked at the AI. "I could barrow you to Tick and Arthur, if you want?"
"That's not exactly what I've had in mind." Dangerboat said and he sounded rather disappointed. "What I meant was you and me, partner. You could use being a good person once in a while. Good press would be great too."
I don't think my life is worth not killing anymore…
Who knows, maybe you will even like it!
Oh, in their mouths it always sounds so simple… Just be good person… But what could Tick, Arthur or Dangerboat know? They weren't him.
Overkill took his legs off the table, put the unfinished Fo-Ham can away and grabbed Shakira.
"I'm going training." He said, walking towards the exit. "I need to blow off some steam."
Apparently he was blowing off steam for hours, because he didn't even notice when nine in the morning turned into two in the afternoon, until the sun started to shine in his eyes; and until certain annoying paramedic showed up. At first he was just ignoring her, focusing on shooting the empty bottles of Brown Tingle Cola, but he soon found out it was hard to shoot things when there was an audience.
"What do you want?" He finally said, looking at her.
"Oh, nothing." She replied. "It's just that you stormed out with a gun and didn't even think of inviting me on your little practice."
That wasn't why she was there.
"Come on, say it." Overkill said. "Dangerboat sent you, because he's worried about me."
"Maybe he did." Dot moved her weight from one leg to the other. "So what?"
"Well, tell him that I'm fine and don't need a nanny."
A silence fell on them, so Overkill decided to fill it with more sounds of shooting gun. He was shooting, she was staring at him with arms crossed, and for a good half of a minute they were just standing there, not talking to each other. It was enough of a time for Estevan to see the flicker of him near Dot showing her how to shoot properly… but moving away almost immediately. Then this memory turned into another one – of him lying next to Ms. Lint as they were looking at each other with affection…
He greeted his teeth, tightened the grip on Shakira's handle and shoot the BTC bottle until there was no more bullets in his gun.
"You really must hate that cola." Dot remarked.
Overkill put Shakira back in the holster and turned to his guest.
"Listen up, blondie: you're far more intelligent to believe in that 'I will change him' bullshit. Trust me, it never works."
"Who says I want to change you?" She replied. "You need a therapist, not a girlfriend."
"And yet you're here." He stated the fact. "Because you see some troubled, broken shmuck and your caring side won't let you leave him alone, because, of course, you need to at least try to save him."
He leaved out the part that this caring side was making her a badass; that her desire to protect Arthur was not only endearing but also admirable. Because the last woman he dated was thinking only about herself and her boss.
"You really do like pain, don't you?" Dot said, seemingly not at all moved by his tirade. "You have this 'gritty, brooding male' shtick going on and you just love to push everyone away."
"I'm pushing you for a reason. Because the illusion that one can change somebody for the better doesn't apply just to women dating assholes." The expression on his face changed into a bit more sympathetic one. His voice got quiet, more resigned, as he added: "Superheroes can fall into that trap too."
Dot uncrossed her arms and looked at him with sudden realization. She didn't say anything, though, because he went on:
"You will think that supervillain is just poor lost soul and that with just a little bit of love and care, you can reform them. But that's a lie. Most of the time they will use your good heart against you and you will be left heartbroken. Not only that, but your trust in people will be destroyed too. No matter how much you will be reminding yourself that not all women are bad; or that not everybody wants to deceive you… there will always be this lingering feeling on the back of your head that if you were hurt once, you will be hurt again."
There was a moment of silence as Dot was looking at Overkill with the expression of sympathy. He could almost see pity written all over her face. He didn't tell her to stop it, he just cleared his throat and turned his gaze away from her.
"Either way, it's a waste of effort and the faster you and those two idiots in bug costumes will learn it, the better."
Estevan started to gather bullet shells off the ground, not looking at Dot.
"I wouldn't say you're a villain." She spoke suddenly.
He straightened himself and turned to her with raised eyebrows.
"It's true, you can be an asshole, but you're not a complete asshole." She took few steps towards him and soon they were standing in front of each other. Only then she proceeded: "Remember when I've asked you if, given the choice, you would rather kill Terror than save Arthur? You've told me that you would first save my brother and only then kill Terror. Not only that but when Tick saved your life, you honored his wish and didn't kill anyone. Unless, of course," She added giving him a meaningful look. "there's something you neglected to tell us."
"Who do you think I am?" He said, offended. "Some kind of honorless dick? I swore to the blue idiot I won't be killing, and that's what I'm doing!"
"See?" She smirked. "You're not so bad after all."
Overkill avoided her gaze. Damn woman, standing so close to him… making him awkward… He hated her guts. And he hated the fact that he felt like a stupid, shy teenager around her.
"I'm going home." He said, turning away from her. "You can come with me. Dangerboat will probably love some company."
Of course, the stupid AI had to invite them. And of course, he had to yap his mouth, spouting his nonsense.
"Overkill! What would you say for some hero team-up?! You, me and our sidekicks fighting crime, beating up bad guys, building-up grudging respect for each other… What do you think, eh?"
"First of all," Overkill began, moving closer to Tick. "there is no need for us to team up and even if there was, I'm not in the mood to go with you anywhere. Secondly, on this boat we don't use derogatory terms like the 's' word."
"Sidekick?" The blue hero asked, seemingly confused. Then he turned to his friend. "Arthur, do you find word 'sidekick' offensive?"
"I don't, Tick, but there are people who do." The Moth-Man explained. "Some people think that sidekicks are useless."
"That's so ridiculous!" Tick exclaimed. "Sidekicks are modern squires! They are the best help a superhero can get!"
"See, Overkill, that's a healthy perspective on things." Dangerboat cut in.
"No, it's not." Estevan growled. "Tick has no fucking idea what he's talking about."
"Oh, but look at him and Arthur." The AI wasn't giving up. "They work side by side, and one's strengths compensate for the other's weaknesses which help them be efficient in crime fighting. They also count on each other when push comes to shove. It's beautiful."
"Exactly. Because they're not superhero and sidekick but two partners. Calling either of them the 's' word would be insulting."
"Maybe we should just drop this topic." Arthur said, trying to unload the atmosphere. "There's no use in discussing it."
Overkill was secretly grateful for this intervention and he really hoped this would be the end of this subject.
"No, Arthur," Apparently Tick had other plans. "I want to know what's wrong with being a sidekick. They are as much of heroes as anyone else who fights crime."
Damn it, why he had to be so dense? Why Overkill had to explain to the blue idiot even the most simple things? And why Tick couldn't take a hint that his host didn't want to talk about it?
"I don't think it's a good idea." Dangerboat replied.
"But I want to know!" The blue idiot whined.
"Seriously, Tick, drop it." Arthur gave him meaningful, irritated look.
"It seems to me that mister antihero here looks down on the proud institution of sidekick."
Well, if he wanted to fight so badly, Overkill was going to give it to him.
"Now listen to me-" Tick began but was quickly cut off by Overkill hitting the table.
"No, you listen, you big blue freak!" He took two steps towards the superhero and went on: "Do you know what sidekicks do?! Do you really know what sidekicks are for?! Because I can tell you!"
Tick was going to say something, but Estevan didn't let him. He started to yell at him.
"Sidekicks get captured so the superheroes have to save them!"
He felt sudden heaviness in place where his heart should be.
"Sidekicks recklessly rush into action, causing their superheroes headache!"
He didn't know why his voice started to crack… or why he suddenly wanted to cry.
"Sidekicks are little idiots who get their superheroes killed because they can't keep their pants on!"
All four of them were staring at him, speechless. He could see that both Arthur and his sister were hit by a realization but Tick was just observing Overkill, seemingly clueless about what was going on.
"And when those idiots realize they've betrayed their team," Estevan continued in a quieter voice, showing Tick his mechanical limbs. "their hands get crushed."
And they have to live with the fact that they were so stupid to begin with; and that their stupidity brought doom to their family…
"So do you understand now, Tick? Do you understand why the 's' word is offensive?"
Dangerboat, Dot and the two superheroes were staring at him in silence. Tick himself didn't turn his gaze away from Overkill. For a moment Estevan wondered what was going on this hallow head of his, before he suddenly found himself in tight embrace of the Big Blue Yonder. Needless to say, it was a painful experience, but the vigilante was used to pain. The fact that it was such an awkward situation was much, much worse than any torture the blue hero could ever inflict on him.
"Forgive me, my friend!" The Tick exclaimed. "All this time I thought that anger was driving you to do all those horrible things! Now I see it was actually guilt! I'm so, so sorry! I've got you all wrong!"
"Let go off me!" Overkill hit him couple of times to send the message.
Tick quickly released his victim and looked him in the eyes.
"Remember, my friend: from this day on you're not alone anymore! Your burdens will be our burdens! Your joys will be our joys! Your sorrows will be our sorrows too! Never again will you feel the harsh touch of loneliness! Never again will you be without true companions!"
Unbelievable.
"First of all," Overkill pointed his finger at Tick. "I already have a true companion. His name is Dangerboat."
"It's nice you admit it," The AI began. "but having more than one friend never hurts."
"Yeah, and didn't we establish already that you and I work nice together?" Dot pointed out.
"Maybe." Was all Estevan could say to that.
Not that he was ever going to admit that he liked working with Dot…
Damn it, how this conversation spiraled into some mushy bullshit? And why did he feel odd warmth right now? Why did he feel the sense of belonging again? And why did it feel both wrong and right?
"Just… just call us sometimes." Arthur said. "Maybe you would like to hang out or something." He gave the vigilante a small smile.
Overkill sighed.
"Just leave me alone already." He said with resignation.
Oddly enough they obeyed (well, Arthur and Dot did; the blue idiot had to be told that he and Arthur had a City to patrol). Soon Estevan found himself alone again with Dangerboat and his own thoughts.
"You know, I think they will be good for you." The AI spoke suddenly.
Overkill didn't say anything. He just stood up, came to the one of the walls of the boat, and punched a button on it. Soon the wall revealed his old Straight Shooter gear. As he was staring at it, he remembered Uncle Samson's bearded face as the old man was looking at his sidekick with pride and fatherly affection. Estevan smiled to his thoughts, remembering the rest of the Five. Never before and never after did he feel so in the right place like with them. They were unique people, each and one of them. They deserved to be remembered, to be loved.
Estevan often wondered what would Uncle Samson think of him, if he saw his Straight Shooter dressed in black, killing people and taking names; if he saw that his pupil became vigilante. Overkill also wondered if Flag Five was mad at him just as much as he was mad at himself.
"He would like you to have friends." Dangerboat said. When Overkill turned to him, the AI added: "Uncle Samson. He would like you to have friends."
"And how would you know?" Overkill asked, a bit less passive-aggressively than he intended.
"If he was like a father to you, he probably would like everything that's good for you. And friends who care about you are definitely good."
For a moment Overkill was just staring at Dangerboat's eye, thinking about what the AI said. Then he started thinking about all those years they were working together. He was thinking about all those times when Dangerboat was commenting on something, and his comments had this motherly undertone. Dangerboat offered professional help, as well as an ear Estevan could talk to, if he felt like it. Dangerboat was never interested in Overkill's vendetta but he did put a lot of effort into making his partner's life a little more normal.
"And you know what I think?" Overkill asked, smiling lightly. "I think he would like you."
"Really?" Dangerboat asked.
"Yes, really." Overkill nodded.
Maybe friends weren't so bad after all. Not that he was going to tell them any of this.