Just a note: The massacre never happened
"No, no, no!"
Mikoto was in a state of dire distress.
Given the circumstances, her upset was understandable. Her baby son was, after all, pursuing a girl seriously for the first time—
(And about damn time, the entire clan agreed)
--it was only natural that a mother as close to her son as Mikoto was to Sasuke would feel anxious, half-hoping he would be successful, and the other half completely unsure whether it was such a good idea.
However, the true reason she was upset was unknown by all except a very hen-pecked husband, who was currently regretting turning down what would have been the fifth mission in a row to spend some time with his wife.
"Mikoto, calm down," he said for what felt like the thousandth time. "Sasuke's perfectly capable of courting a girl, without your interference."
His wife didn't seem to hear him, viciously attacking a bush with clippers. She often said gardening calmed her. Fugaku only knew that when she was stressed, the elegant garden became remiscent of forests after a particularly dangerous battle. The worse her stress, the more expensive the garden was to fix.
"How can I be calm?! My son is going after Haruno Sakura with absolutely no idea how to act. He's going to be make a fool of himself! I mean, really, his idea of a date as a mission?! How dense can my little boy get?"
She abandoned the now-mangled bush and moved on to weeding, pulling out almost as many flowers as she did weeds. Fugaku mentally winced, wondering exactly how many mission paychecks it would take to fix the garden this time.
"You know what? I bet he won't just do that; I bet he'll get her customized weapons when they start going steady—"
"You said you liked those," Fugaku began, but Mikoto continued to rant.
"—Then he'll start calling her pathetic nicknames like 'cherry blossom' because of her name which sound good in romance novels but absolutely ridiculous in real life--"
"I've called you 'angel' for years—" Fugaku tried to be indignant to get her attention, but his wife barreled on.
"—And then I bet he'll do something really stupid to propose. He'll probably invite her to a spar and throw a shruiken at her with the ring encircling it and injure her doing so…" She lost her steam and her chest rose and fell as she took in air she had denied herself during her rant. She looked up at her husband only to find him with a suspiciously sulky expression on his face.
She sighed.
"Oh, Fugaku, don't be like that." With some effort, she got up and wrapped her arms around her husband. "What you did was very romantic, considering that we were in the middle of a war, after all. But it's peacetime now, so wouldn't you think that a girl would probably prefer a more romantic courtship?" When her husband still didn't answer, she pressed a kiss to his cheek and added, "Besides, you can't really get less romantic that Minato's attempts to go after Kushina."
Fugaku glanced at her suspiciously. Seeing her sincere, if somewhat smug expression, he relented and smirked.
"I suppose so."
"Yeah, accidentally swallowing the ring that was put in her ramen put her in such a mood for weeks." They both laughed. "And I've heard the boy's smitten with that heiress." She added.
"Really? Then they're probably turning in their graves."
"Agreed."
Meanwhile in Heaven…
Minato really wished he wasn't dead, because he really had no where else to go to escape his love's fury.
"YOU FREAKING IDIOT!"
"Kushina-chan, please calm down…"
"CALM DOWN? YOU JUST PUT AN INNOCENT YOUNG WOMAN AT RISK OF PREMATURE DEATH BY CHOKING BECAUSE YOU HAD TO VISIT OUR SON'S DREAMS AND GIVE HIM SO CALLED 'SAGELY ADVICE'!"
"B-but I felt sorry for him; the poor boy had no idea how to propose to her, I just gave a sug—OW!"
"Why didn't I take that stupid chasity vow when I had the chance?!"
A/N: …There's nothing to say about this one.
Review please!