Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK, unless of course it doesn't then it belongs to some other author.

AN: this was written by my brother and I thought it was funny. Beware it is a cross over of basically everything, so please enjoy and don't yell at me...

The Bar

On the cool dark weekend of October 5, Harry and Ron were wandering around Hogsmeade. With the recent disappearance of Hermione, everything seemed grim including school reports. To pass time they sat on a bench to watch the surroundings. As they together recapped the last thing she had said before she vanished, hoping for a clue to her unknown whereabouts. Nothing even seemed to hint at a possible lead of where to find her. The muggy air around then dulled there senses. After twelve minutes Ron said, " Excuse me Harry, but a need to use the restroom."

"All right, but don't go disappearing."

So Ron left Harry and seemed to dematerialize in the heavy, dense fog. Harry got up and walked to Abercrombie and Fitch store just at the end of the block. He saw some pretty cool shirts and also some dumb logo ones. Twenty minutes later when Ron hadn't returned to their bench he began to panic. Someone wasn't right. There was something queer about the air.

Harry suddenly felt the heavy hand another folk on his shoulder. Clad in shining armor was Harry's very good friend Aragorn.

"What is it Aragorn," said Harry.

"The Orcs they're comin for Gondor run!"

"What are you talking about?"

Then Harry looked around him and saw that he was indeed in Gondor. He saw Hedwig on a branch in the tree next to him.

"Hedwig, I don't think were in Hogsmeade anymore."

Suddenly a barrage of foul Orc arrows broke through the trees.

"Run Harry," cried Aragorn.

With a sickening thud three arrows met the back of the noble king's head.

"Harry up here," whispered a new voice. "Its me, Frodo. That stupid hobbit that every wants to kill."

Taking advantage of the moment, Harry drew his sword and thursted it deeply into Frodo's chest.

"Eh," was his last word.

"Nice move Harry, I was beginning to think a ways to kill him myself," Chuckled a new voice.

"Who's there?"

"Why its me Sam Wise Gamgee."

"That's a relief a thought it was the dumb blonde elf, Legolas. Stupid showoff."

Suddenly Harry felt a strong gust and everything went dark.

Waking up he saw a pale white head with buggy eyes.

"Thank god, you found me Artemis," said Harry.

"I was just flirting, I mean playing my mind games with Holly," said Artemis.

"Dude just give up she's way out of your league," laughed Harry.

"Butler please dispose of Harry he is getting in my hair (lol)"

"I though we were friends?"

"We were, but then I sold your friendship rights on EBAY. Meet your new friend, Martin the Warrior."

"He's a mouse, what's wrong with you Artemis."

So Harry was pissed off, and he killed Martin. Strangely there was much purring from cats all over. Another strong gust and he found himself back on the bench with Ron and Hermione running towards him. The Crookshanks bounded out of Hermoines hands and sat on Harry's lap.

'You would not believe what just happened," cried Harry breathlessly, "lets go to the local bar and discuss the events of my new story."

"Umm, Harry that's where I was the whole time I was gone," said Hermoine in a quiet voice.

"Not now Hermione, I need to tell you my story," roared Harry.

So they ran into the local bar. OW!

THE END