Straightjacket Feeling, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I'd love it if I owned all the Harry Potter characters, but sadly, I don't. It all belongs to a lucky woman named J.K. Rowling. Any other characters belong to me. The song belongs to The All-American Rejects.

Summary: Sirius discovers the hardships of love during his years at Hogwarts. ONE SHOT based off the song.

Warning: This story is rated T for a reason. This one shot contains some minor language and mild thematic elements.

modrocker423: Hey everybody! So I wrote this one shot a while back and I thought I might actually get around to posting it. I repeat, this is a one shot. There is not nor will there ever be a following chapter, story, etc. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but...tough. But enough of my lecture babbling...

Enjoy!

Straightjacket Feeling

The All American Rejects

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again,
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away

Sirius couldn't believe the sight before his eyes. He just couldn't believe it. It couldn't be happening to him. Not him. Not now. He was surely just in some horrible never ending nightmare. He would wake up soon and everything would be back to normal...

But if it was just a nightmare, why wasn't he waking up?

Sirius mentally shook himself while blinking his eyes repeatedly, trying to remove the sight before his eyes. The horrific scene before him didn't go away. He tried again. Nothing. Sirius' breath caught in his chest as reality caught up with him and realization hit him: he was being cheated on.

Sirius watched as Ashley Pohler, his girlfriend of six months, made out with some random Gryffindor sixth year on one of the squishy armchairs in the middle of the common room. He couldn't believe what she was doing. Ashley was his girlfriend. So what was she doing making out with random guys in the common room during one of the biggest Gryffindor parties of the year? True, Sirius had his fair share of secret snogging sessions. But those sessions had become less and less the more time he had spent with Ashley...

The truth was that Sirius was crazy for Ashley. He had never felt so strongly for one girl in his entire life. Ashley was different from all of the other flirts he had dated before. She was independent, carefree, and an amazing kisser. He loved her long brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and slender figure. She completed him in ways no other girl could. Sirius and Ashley were the perfect couple...or so Sirius had thought.

But as Sirius watched his girlfriend continue to make out with a stranger, he didn't know what to believe anymore. Perhaps he had sent off the wrong signals to Ashley? Sirius thought that he had made his love for Ashley perfectly clear, both to her and the entire school. Now he wasn't so sure everyone had gotten the picture.

The more Sirius' troubled thoughts clogged his mind, the more anger surged through him, washing away his temporary numbness and disbelief. He felt his heart start to pound painfully in his chest and heard his blood pump loudly against his ears. He curled his fists into balls until his knuckles turned white as he tried to control the shaking of his body.

When Sirius finally managed to regain his voice, he bellowed, "What the hell are you doing?" The entire common room fell silent as people looked around to see who had yelled. The party vibe instantly diminished once people realized what was going on.

Noticing how quiet the room had gotten, Ashley pulled away from the guy she was kissing and looked around. She swore to herself when her eyes fell on Sirius. Trying to cover up what she knew Sirius had witnessed, Ashley pushed the guy away from her and said, "Ew! What do you think you're doing? I'm with Sirius!" With that she slapped the guy and ran over to Sirius. But when she tried to kiss him, Sirius took a step back from her.

"What the hell were you doing?" Sirius hissed vehemently. He couldn't believe that Ashley was trying to cover up what she had done when everyone in the entire common room, including him, had witnessed her snogging session.

"What did it look like I was doing?" Ashley responded as though she kissed random guys all of the time. Realizing that playing innocent was no longer going to work for her, she had decided to go with a more "I don't care" approach.

"You were cheating on me!" Sirius yelled, outraged with Ashley's response.

"It was just a simple kiss, Sirius," Ashley said lightly, indifferent to how angry Sirius was.

"You were snogging some random guy!" Sirius retorted loudly. He saw Ashley bristle with anger and felt some satisfaction for making her angry.

"I happen to know Trevor very well, thank you very much!" Ashley shot back indignantly.

"Of course you do. You've had your tongue down his throat for most of the night," Sirius sneered. A second later his cheek burned painfully after Ashley had slapped him with all of her might. Touching a hand to his stinging cheek, Sirius saw Ashley storm towards the girls staircase. But he wasn't going to let her off that easily. Running across the common room, he managed to grab hold of her upper arm and swivel her around to face him again.

"Let go of me!" Ashley protested, wriggling in Sirius' strong grip.

"Not until you tell me why you cheated on me," Sirius replied, tightening his hold on Ashley's squirming arm. He saw angry tears rolling down her cheeks, but they meant nothing to him anymore.

"I said let go of me!" Ashley yelled, her voice choked slightly as she tried to hold back her sobs.

"And I told you to tell me why you were cheating on me," Sirius said calmly. His anger had started to dissipate slowly away. He didn't care for Ashley anymore. All he wanted to know was the truth.

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of all of this. It's not like you've never cheated on me," Ashley hissed, wiping away at her tears with her free hand.

"But I haven't!" Sirius retorted acrimoniously. He felt his anger surge back to life when he heard Ashley snort with disbelief.

"You're hysterical," Ashley said bitterly.

"I'm not lying!" Sirius yelled truthfully.

"Sirius, you're one of the biggest players in the entire school. Girls swoon at your feet and flirt with you every chance they get throughout the day. So don't try to tell me you've never cheated on me," Ashley snapped angrily.

"So is that why you cheated on me? To get even?" Sirius asked hurtfully. He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from Ashley. It would serve as a sort of closure of their relationship for him. It was going to tear his heart to break up with Ashley, but he couldn't have a girlfriend who cheated on him just to get back at him for something he didn't even do.

"Yes," Ashley replied meekly. She knew that her reason was terrible, but it was true. Sirius was a great boyfriend and all, but he wasn't the only fish in the sea. Besides, it wasn't as if Sirius really deeply cared for her or anything, right?

"I see," Sirius whispered. Even though he knew her answer before she said it, hearing it didn't make it any less painful. His throat constricted painfully as the truth settled in on him. He swallowed the painful knot in his throat before saying, "I thought I loved you, Ashley. You were the perfect girl for me, from your looks to your great personality. I should've known finding a girl like you was too good to be true. I was so blind...but now I'm not. I see you for who you truly are now. And I can't stand you any longer."

The entire common room was deathly quiet. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, waiting to see what Ashley and Sirius would do next. Sirius noticed the audience he had attracted and realized he didn't want to be the center of attention at the moment. He let go of Ashley's arm and turned to leave. Before he could even take a step, he felt Ashley's hand grab onto his arm to prevent him from leaving.

"But Sirius-" she started to say until Sirius cut her off. He didn't want to hear what she had to say. Anything she said would probably make him feel even worse than what he was feeling already. All he wanted now was to be alone and be free from Ashley.

"Save it, Ashley. We're over."