Well, let's start with Snow White, whose skin is as white as snow, lips and cheeks as red as scarlet, and hair as dark as ebony. After a year of her mother's death, the king remarried. His new wife was a beautiful woman, who was proud to take Snow White as her own. Snow White grew up to be as beautiful as the springtime but her heart is the opposite of her looks. Not only does she have an obsession with collecting sexy lingerie all over the land, she also owns a magic mirror to ensure that no other can beat her to it.
Each time she stood before it she would ask:
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who has the sexiest lingerie of us all?"
The mirror always replied:
"Snow White, you have the sexiest lingerie of them all."
For the mirror always spoke the truth, she was content with what she heard. Little did she know that the queen had recently taken the same private hobby as her. One day when Snow White asked her mirror the usual question, it replied:
"My Lady Snow White, you have sexy lingerie, 'tis true,
But the queen's collection is far sexier then yours."
Then Snow White flew into the most awful rage, and turned every shade of green in her jealousy. From that hour she hated the poor queen, and her envy, hatred and malice grew even further the day she knew that the queen wasn't her real mother. That night when the queen was out clubbing, she snuck into her bedroom and tore up every piece of lingerie that she could ever find.
That night when the queen got back from her fun and realized that her private collection was ruin, she staggered backwards in shock and knocked a bottle of acid on her beautiful face. The acid burned her face so badly that even the best plastic surgeon couldn't restore back her original look and being out in the sun would melt the plastic. Since then she locked herself up within the castle and nobody outside it knew what happened to her. While the queen wandered around the castle, she came across Snow White's room, and out of curiosity, she entered. Right there before her were racks after racks of sexy lingerie collected all over the land. At that instant the culprit behind the lingerie case was revealed. The queen's anger exploded and in her insanity she called a gunman to her, she said, "Take the child into the woods. Kill her, and bring me her heart!"
The gunman obeyed his queen and led Snow White out into the woods. Amazed at how beautiful Snow White was, he told Snow White to run deep into the forest and to return is death by her stepmother. Then he killed a young deer, and brought the animal's heart to his queen as proof that he had carried out her command. Snow White ran as far as her legs would carry her, and by evening she spotted a little house.
Exhausted, she went inside to rest. In the middle of the room stood a little table with seven little plates and utensils lay around it. Against the wall were seven little beds, covered with white quilts. She lay down on one of the beds, but it wasn't comfortable. So she tried all, until she got to the seventh that was just right and fell asleep upon it.
In the evening, the seven owners of the house returned from their work in the mines. They entered with their seven little lamps, and soon realized that somebody had been in the room. Then the first dwarf looked around and saw a little hollow in each of their beds, and he exclaimed, "Somebody has been lying on our beds!"
The seventh dwarf went to his bed, and he started stuttered, for there was Snow White fast asleep. The others hurried over his side when they heard him stutter. What they saw made them gasped with surprise. "Goodness gracious!" they cried. "What a beautiful child!"
They were so enchanted by her beauty that they did not wake her. In the morning when Snow White saw the seven little dwarfs she felt very frightened because they had big heads that doesn't match their tiny bodies, plus they are really short. But they were so friendly and kind that she introduced herself to them. She then told them her story of how her stepmother wanted her dead and how she fled for her life till she came upon their house. Little did they know that her heart isn't as pure as how she looks.
The dwarfs, when they heard Snow White's sad story, asked her if she would like to stay and help out with the chores and cooking.
"Yes," answered Snow White. "I will gladly do all you ask."
The dwarfs then entrusted her with their gold as she would need to pay for their necessities and by goodwill, they warned her to beware of her stepmother and never let anyone into the house while they are out.
"What a waste! So much gold to upgrade to a larger place and yet all they want is to squeeze in this small little house, where I keep bumping my head against the ceiling!" grumbled Snow White.
Even though she agreed to help out, Snow White knew nothing about chores and cooking as she always had maids and servants to do it for her. Well, the good thing is that technology existed during her time, and everything was just a phone call away. From the caterers to the house keepers that can be easily found in yellow pages. The poor dwarfs trusted her so much that they didn't even question her why their savings are disappearing faster than they could dig back each day. About her hobby, nothing could stop her from collecting it and recently she won a private auction for the winter collections before it's even out to the public.
Now that the queen has found out that Snow White had a magic mirror which tells the truth, she was certain that nobody in the land had the latest collection of lingerie. So stepping before the mirror once day, she said:
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who is sexiest lingerie of us all?"
The mirror replied:
"My lady Queen, you have racks of sexy lingerie, 'tis true,
But Snow White has the latest limited edition diamond garter belt far better than your outdated ones.
Snow White, who dwells with the seven little men,
Is far sexier then you."
When the queen heard this she shook with fury.
"Snow White shall die and I'll naturally inherit those diamond garter belt," she cried.
"Yes, even if it cost me my own life."
Then she went to a secret chamber and prepared a poisonous apple. It looked so beautiful and delicious but anyone who took a bite would instantly die. The apple was so cleverly made that only one half was poisonous. When it was ready, the queen disguised herself as a peasant and drove to the seven dwarfs' cottage. When she arrived at the house, she knocked at the door, calling out, "Apples to sell! Apples to sell!"
Snow White leaned her head out the window and called, "I may not let anyone in. The seven dwarfs have forbidden me to do so."
"Are you afraid of being poisoned?" asked the old woman with a sly smile. "See, I will cut this apple in half. I'll eat one half and you can eat the other." Snow White knew the queen was back for revenge but in order to have her plans played out, she has to eat the apple. But hardly had the first bite passed Snow White's lips than she fell down dead. The eyes of the cruel queen sparkled with glee, and she cried, "Aha! Now you can no longer collect sexy lingerie!" The queen ransacked the whole room and finally found the limited edition diamond garter belts that she wanted, and skipped happily back to the castle forgetting that she has a car to drive.
When the dwarfs returned home, they found Snow White lying on the ground motionless with a letter of last words to them in her left hand. They tried many ways to wake her up but all was in vain, for Snow White did not awaken. So they laid her down gently upon a long flat stone, and all seven watched and mourned for her three whole days. At the last day, the dwarfs did what they were told in the letter. A glass coffin with her name carved upon it in golden letters was made, with a note sandwich in between it.
Was it mentioned that Snow White long ago fell in love with a prince in the neighborhood castle? But her stepmother was against him, that's why they couldn't be together. As most princes are handsome, it isn't surprising that he is one too. He has a queer obsession of steal maiden's lingerie but because he was a prince, all his theft case was never brought up in court as it will shame the whole kingdom. On the other hand, the maidens were more than happy to let him steal it as they get secret kisses in return.
One day while the prince was out practicing his bike stunts at his usual hideout, a string of colors that was never there caught his eyes. Partly out of curiosity and mainly his fetish, he approached the colors of lingerie and it led him through the forest, ending at a glass coffin with a small white paper sandwich in between. He pulled it out and it reads, "Kiss me." The thought of kissing a corpse made him sick but it disappeared when he saw that the corpse turned out to be a lady, far prettier then he expected. Suddenly conscious about his surroundings, he looked around to see if anybody was in sight before he lifted the glass to kiss the maiden without the consent of anybody.
The moment he lifts the glass, he stumbled and dropped it. The jolt made the piece of poisoned apple fell from between Snow White's lips, and she instantly awoke. As she struggled with her skirt to climb out of the coffin, she accidentally exposes her fair skin together with the black garter belt she wore underneath. The prince just smiled with drools of joy as he had finally found the woman of his kind. All he said was, "I promise to love you better than the entire world. Come with me to my father's palace, and you shall be my wife."
Snow White granted their wish and everything was prepared with great pomp and splendor for their wedding. Everybody was invited to the feast, even the wicked queen herself. As the queen was testing out the new diamond garter belt, she looked in the glass and said:
"Tell me, mirror, and tell me true!
Of all the ladies in the land
Who is sexiest? Tell me who?"
And the glass answered:
"Queen, thou art sexiest here, I hold,
But the young Queen is sexier, a thousand fold."
In her anger she broke the glass, but her envy and curiosity were so great that she could not help setting out to see the bride. When she arrived, what she saw shattered her. Her dream of having a designed lingerie wedding gown was worn by none other than Snow White. She went nuts and screamed her way out of the castle, with her melting face under the blazing heat of the sun. If you don't mind me ending it this way, Snow White and the contented prince lived in the palace with sexy lingerie, happily over the land for many years.