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May 22nd, 5:30 P.M. EST
Above New York City, New York
"How much do we have left, Friday?" Tony Stark asked his AI assistant
His crimson-gold Ironman power armor had been tearing apart the New York skyline for a while now; in hot pursuit of his targets: two young women sporting similar navy-blue outfits, caps, and strange red gauntlets. The unconscious body of Martin Li, NYC's renowned philanthropist, bounced limply over the shoulder of one the girls as she and her partner sprinted across rooftops to ditch him. Tony thought it fortunate that Li had passed out. He couldn't imagine the Chinese millionaire could stay being carried 400 feet in the air.
"Vermillion Dry-cleaning will close in approximately 40 minutes."
Tony started plotting how much time stood between him, Li, and his freshened tuxedo. He couldn't risk using his suit's weapons without possibly hurting Li or sending him plummeting to his death. Without them, the chase would go from lasting about three minutes to approximately 10-to-15; possibly longer. Especially considering that somehow, these girls were managing to outpace his own rocket propulsion suit with no apparent aid. Tony silently hoped they didn't secretly have superpowers. That would take up another 10 minutes he couldn't afford to waste.
"So out of curiosity, how long will they stay open for an Avenger?" Said Tony.
"40 minutes," Friday answered immediately
"How long for Tony Stark?" He asked while his mind calculated a change of tactics. Rather than continue a fruitless chase, Tony plotted the trajectory of the criminals and estimated the general path they would take.
"40 minutes."
"For my birthday?" With the path set, all Tony had to do was follow a yellow arrow through a shortcut that would allow him to pass and intercept the girls.
It took Friday only a few seconds longer to answer his question. "They will have someone deliver your tuxedo with a themed greeting card for a 75% premium."
"75%?" Tony expelled with heinous disgust. "Tell them to get rid of the card."
"The delivery will cost significantly more if you choose to remove the card from the order."
"How the hell does that make any…" Even though Tony's fingers couldn't breach his faceplate, he still found himself rubbing his temples. "You know what? Never mind. That's just what I needed to motivate myself."
In truth, Tony didn't really have to have this suit for his party. He had a closet full of nicer, much more expensive tuxedos he could've worn. Though none of them had been given to him by a particularly influential foreign executive for his last birthday. Specifically, one he was currently negotiating a very important trade deal with. Tony might've hated how abrasive its fabric felt against his skin, but it very well could hold the future of Stark Industries in its pockets.
Though as important as the tuxedo was, it was far more imperative for Tony to save Martin Li; seeing as he was high up on the guest list for his party. Though Tony didn't know the man personally, he was very familiar with his ceaseless acts of charity. Rising from an illegal Chinese immigrant to one of New York's richest – after himself of course – Martin Li dedicated his life and fortune toward aiding the downtrodden. Going out of his way to save him might very well have cost him the tuxedo, but he was damned if he was going to be blamed for letting bad guys run off with the closest thing New York had to its own Mother Teresa.
Almost immediately after Tony landed directly in their path, the girls made a swift pivot, skidding a bit on the cement surface before fleeing westward towards another building.
"Yeah, we're not playing this game anymore," Tony muttered as he raised an open gauntlet in the abductor's direction. In the top-right corner of his HUD, a notification read: 'MAGNETIC FIELD GENERATOR ACTIVATED'
The duo was about to set foot on the adjacent building as the generator in Tony's arm whirred to life. Surprised yelps escaped both abductors as Tony's magnetic pull seized their oversized, red, metal gauntlets, holding them struggling in the air between the two buildings. With a few subtle twitches of his hand, the criminals were wrenched back to the roof with the forcefulness of an aggravated parent reigning in their bratty children. Holding both the outlaws inches off the ground, Tony moved his hand around in a small circle to magnetically turn his captives around and get a proper glimpse at their faces.
The girl with Martin Li slung over her shoulder dressed in blue ninja garb with black hair, a small blue cap, and a yellow scarf. On her back hung a sword almost as sharp as her own eyes. Her partner wore a blue skirt and leggings, a big yellow bow on the chest of her blue long-sleeved belly shirt, and enormous pink curls practically the size of Tony's arm. As strange as the couple appeared, Tony had seen far stranger supervillain costumes.
Save for the grunts they made try to escape the magnetic hold over them, the girls were pretty much silent; mincing no words.
"Alright ladies, it's been fun, but Marty has a party to get to. My party actually," Tony announced sternly as he drew closer to his floating captives. "But tell you what: since you're both first-time offenders, I'll just let you off with a warning-"
For one vital fraction of a second, Tony's eyes drifted over to the pink-haired girl's arm, which somehow found the strength to fight her magnetic bonds to reach for something in her pocket.
"Seriously?," Said Tony as he increased the magnitude of the magnetic field, effectively pulling the girl's hand out of her pocket and over her head. "How about we use our words instead of our guns, alright? Suit's bulletproof by the way. You'd need a lot more than that to get through…"
Tony's remaining jeers were crammed back down his throat as the pink haired girl exploded in his face. Even the iron Avenger's invincible armor staggered backward a couple feet before the billowing surge of wild violet energy; pouring out of the girl's body like an inferno clothed in oiled rags. As Tony shielded his eyes from the bizarre display of force, a bold red notification flashed urgently over his entire HUD, warning of a sudden spike of unknown radiation. He was absolutely confident that his suit would prevent the abnormal emissions from harming him, yet for some reason, he couldn't help but feel a slight unexplainable sense of dread.
Tony uncovered his eyes as the initial burst died down, hoping the kidnapper hadn't blasted her way to freedom. Fortunately, he found both culprits still floating helplessly in the clutches of his magnetic field, though the pink-haired girl was still emanating thick clouds of irregular radiation. Tony almost missed it with his first glance, but with a second, he spied the pink-haired girl's hand going for her pocket again; seemingly unaffected by the enhanced field.
"The hell?" Tony muttered under his breath as he further increased the field's magnitude. That field should've been strong enough to keep Captain America from moving…not that he would ever think of using it on him of course. But still, she shouldn't have been able to move that easily.
The pink-haired girl uttered a labored grunt as the empowered magnetic field stilled her arm once more; though not before her fingers had pinched their tips around a corner of the weapon in her pocket. With her target fairly secured, she allowed the field to pull her arm out of her skirt to reveal a medium-sized, white and green object with a bell-shaped muzzle; much too big to have fit in the girl's pocket. It looked like it could've actually been a toy but under closer inspection…
"Wait," Tony said quizzically as he watched the girl brought the object to her mouth. "Is that a mega*****!"
Tony knew he had just said "phone", but his words were run down by a sonic freight train on its way to grind him under its wheels. Not even his suit's advanced sound-dampeners could protect him from the audible daggers twisting, boring through his ear canal to carve his brain. Tony could feel himself screaming hard enough to grate his own throat, but the sound, the pain of it all was so intense, he couldn't hear it. He couldn't settle his mind enough to activate the suit's rockets as he flew off the building rooftop, and plummeted down what had to be sixteen stories. He couldn't even hear the panicked shouts of fleeing bystanders or feel the shock rattling his body as his back punched an SUV-sized crater into the sidewalk.
Tony laid still in his small pit, waiting for the ringing in his ears to subside. The suit had protected him from most of the physical damage of his harrowing fall, but he was still nursing a hideous migraine from that strange sonic attack. Not to mention the egotistical damage his was taking from the crowd gathering to take pictures of his defeated form.
Tony audibly groaned as he scraped together enough strength to pick himself out of his crater and onto his feet. He slowly spun himself around to address the gathered crowd. "People, for your safety, I'm going to have to ask that you take several really big steps back in the next three seconds."
Two huge plumes of dirt and cement fled Tony's crater as the jets in his boots roared back to life. Combined with the scream of his engines, the entire crowd was startled into retreating backwards seconds before the Ironman shot into the sky like a runaway missile. Within a breath of leaving the ground, he was floating over the building rooftop; where he found no trace of either the abductors or Martin Li. He didn't really expect them to be dumb enough to wait around, but he had sort of hoped they were.
"Great," Tony grumbled as he thought about how much time he was wasting. "Now how am I going to find them?"
"I could scan to see if I can pick up any emissions of that radiation they were producing," Said Friday
"How long would that take?"
"Approximately 5 to 10 minutes; which may be optimal as we only have 31minutes before Vermillion Dry Cleaning closes."
An audible exhale escaped Tony's mouth as he shot his suit into the concrete-crusted heart of Manhattan. Small yellow reticles danced across his HUD, combing the flowing cityscape for the faintest hint of pink curls. The sensation of air harmlessly buffeting his suit as he soared through the New York skyline did wonders for his mental fatigue. Though his mind was still burdened with finding a solution to the Martin Li problem.
"Then how about we try something a little faster and a little lower tech?" Said Tony. "Put a word out to every active Avenger. See if we can't get a few extra eyes on the city."
"All active Avengers members are currently unavailable," Said Friday.
Tony's brow almost cramped from furrowing so quickly. "Define 'unavailable'."
"A majority have been dispatched to handle a mass prison break at Conway Penitentiary in addition to abnormal structural damage to the surrounding area-"
"Okay, 'majority' doesn't mean 'everyone', Friday. Who's left? Right now, I'm not feeling picky".
"All remaining members have joined Captain America to investigate the anomalous energy reading recorded last night in Siberia. They left eight hours ago."
"Couldn't wait until the party was over, could he?" Tony grumbled.
"Captain Rogers sent a message expressing regret over not being able to attend, but he felt the Avengers could not ignore the possible threat the field could pose to anyone caught in its range," Said Friday. "He also said that he got you a gift to make up for missing the party."
"Is it another thing of cards with baseball players who've been dead longer than I've been alive?" Tony guessed snidely.
"No; he made sure he took Wolverine with him."
"...okay," Tony said as he nodded in approval. "That saves this birthday party from ending like the last one but doesn't really do much for me right now. If we can't count on the Avengers, find someone else who'll help. The Fantastic Four, the X-men, the...did Luke ever start his 'Heroes for Hire' business up again?"
"No,"
"Then try calling everyone else you can think of," Said Tony. "Right now, I don't care who. Just tell them to get down here as quickly as-"
"Unidentified object incoming!" Friday warned.
"Wha-"
It landed on Tony's back before he could think about reacting. The suit's altitude dipped a bit from the impact but managed to stay airborne despite getting rocked side to side as something tried to balance on his back. No, not something; someone. Someone was trying to ride Tony's armor like a surfboard. But who would…
"This is it, true believers! Not a hoax! Not a dream! Not even a hacky fake-out cover! The Merc with a Mouth and ol' Shellhead join forces to bring you a heapin' load of heart-stoppin' eye-poppin' action in the mighty Marv-WOAH!"
He flew off the armor the moment Tony throttled power to his jets. The Ironman almost rejected the idea of saving the pest, but his conscience forced him to seize his wrist. A brief glance was all he needed to tell it was him. The red and black costume, the obnoxious yellow eyes peeking out of his mask, the mysteriously irritating flip of extra fabric hanging off his head, the overcompensation of guns, blades, and pouches lining his person, the smell that somehow breached the suit's air filters. He'd suspected as much from the voice alone, but now he was certain: it was Deadpool.
"Hey, can we keep the horseplay to a minimum?" Said the degenerate mercenary. "I have a bladder that's about to go nuclear."